Great Moments for Fat Guys in SEC History

Other than winning, this might be one of my favorite things that can happen in college football.

I just happened to catch it happen during the Kentucky/Louisville game.

Football spells relief

There isn't really much I can add to what you already know about yesterday. Of the SEC only Alabama was really tested...and by really tested I mean they played a semi-competent opponent (I use semi-competent loosely at that). I did the pay per view thing and had some friends over to watch the game. If nothing else it's good to be back in the swing of things. Offense looked good, defense was mediocre (which might mean we're playing down to our opponents or we're in trouble). Blair Walsh looked solid as did most of the other freshmen. Richard Samuel looked like he had a tough day, but overall did pretty good. Uga VII is adorable and it looked uber-hot out there...I'm glad I stayed in for this one.

Coach Richt went to the Clemson game to "see his son's team" which to me means, he went to see his son's team and scout Bama. Saban's Tide looked pretty good out there, I think when they roll into Athens it'll be our first quality SEC opponent (sorry USC, you played like a high-school team and I was not impressed).

I still doubt Bama would be a Blackout game if CMR decides to do another one, my money is still on Tennessee before the schedule gauntlet kicks in. But either way, I think we'd better have our game together going into every game regardless.

As for the ACC, between VA Tech & Clemson sharing a nut-sack sandwich yesterday it looks like they might be having a rough start. If nothing else Maryland beat Delaware and GA Tech beat JSU to put a couple in the win columns. I still recall the ACC t-shirt I saw back at Arbor Place Mall after they realigned the conference with more teams.
"The ACC, the toughest conference, the toughest teams".

Finally a little bit of NFL news, Harrington is out, Shockley is in. The Falcons have kept my attention for the season.

Commercial Off!

Who has the better one, the choice is yours. My opinion? Dawgs win again.



VS.

South Carolina Gamecrocks

I was catching up with some games I missed last night off the DVR. Did South Carolina's QB really throw 3 interceptions before the 7:00 mark of the 2nd quarter against NC State's defense?!?!

It usually took Tra Battle a full half to get 3 picks off a guy, if this guy's giving them away that quickly I can't wait for 9/13/2008. We gone have us some fun!

I know by the final score USC turns it on in the second half, but they look like a rusty trombone right now...ugh.

Things I've learned: Tech/JSU Edition

Well, obviously I'm at work this morning and didn't dance the night away downtown following a JSU victory, but I still had a good time last night. I thought I'd list a few things I learned from the game.

-Anytime I need to get somewhere in a hurry, traffic will be horrible. On the way to the MARTA station I got stuck on 285 behind a wreck that closed 3 lanes, and on 400 behind a wreck that closed all of 400 North while they pushed wreckage from the fast lane to the emergency lane. Traffic in Atlanta never ceases to amaze me.

-Georgia Tech was bound and determined for this game to not be anywhere NEAR close. This was evident because they were going for it on 4th down at mid-field while winning 27-0. Johnson's got a huge chip on his shoulder trying to prove his offense will work against real competition...maybe soon he'll get the opportunity to.

-For non-athletic wizards who live with their parents, Tech fans can throw 12-sided die at you surprisingly hard.


-Ryan Perrelloux doesn't trust his receivers...frankly, I don't blame him. A few dink passes here & there, but JSU didn't go deep once...not even for fun! Most passes came when RP would run out of the pocket parallel to the line of scrimmage to draw the defense off his receivers. JSU's running game didn't do much and RP's scrambles didn't pick up the blocks a running QB needs. Wishful thinking on my part that JSU might keep it interesting but it was evident Tech was the better team following Jack State's second possession.

-Bobby Dodd Stadium at Historic Mark Richt Field is one of the WORST venues I've ever watched a football game at. I went to a Tech game when I was 5 or 6, that was the last time I'd been there but I knew I didn't like it then and I don't like it now. The fact you're limited to the section of the stadium where your ticket says you should be sitting is awful. I had buddies in another section along the side, but they don't have a spectator area around the field for fans to congregate and catch-up with old friends.

-The higher-ups at Tech don't want the visiting team's fans to be in large groups together. I was pretty proud of the following Jack State brought to Atlanta. There was perhaps a 1 to 10 ratio of JSU fans to Tech fans, but when issuing a "visiting team section" of tickets, they broke it out into the 4 corners of the stadium in medium size groups. There was a small group next to the huge band at the south end zone. The upper deck of the east side had a good group at each end (left and right). The north end zone had a medium size crowd where we were sitting, and along the west side of the stadium there was a scatter of red shirts throughout the crowd. I just hate we weren't able to get to other sections to see people we knew.

-Nobody looks good in mustard color t-shirts. I made a crack about how all the white boys at Tech have blond hair and fair-skin making them look, essentially, pink in skin color. This looks awful while wearing gold/yellow/mustard colored t-shirts. I'm not the fashion police or anything, but in Athens on Saturday even the least attractive among us look good in red whether they're leathery tanned or lilly-white translucent.

And finally:

-Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Here is a list of things I saw last night.
1. A short-sleeve dress shirt with a pocket protector in the pocket.
2. Several Oriental students not wearing anything remotely similar to Tech colors (I think one of them was actually wearing a Manchester United coat), also they had cameras.
3. A half empty upper deck in the North End zone. Which oddly enough would be AWESOME seats if you could get them at that level in Sanford Stadium. But it is Dragon-Con weekend so doctor's notes aren't needed for excused absences.
4. We also passed a Meatloaf lookalike contest on the walk in from MARTA...wait, hold that, I'm being told that was a walk through their Sorority Row. I apologize for the error.

Sorry Sweetheart, sometimes even dashboard light it too bright.

Happy Friday suckers! No fart scene this morning I've got a lot of work to do before an extended weekend.

While I'm at the Tech/JSU game...

As I posted a while back, I've purchased tickets to the JSU/Tech match-up for tonight. I'm not an avid follower of Jacksonville State athletics, but as Kirk Herbstreet mentioned in an article about SEC unity, I'm really pulling for Ryan Perrilloux to get his #$%@ together and make it back up to where he needs to be in life.

Don't get me wrong, I also want to see Tech lose when possible, but I'm jones'n for some pigskin and wanted to see if JSU might pull the David and "Goliath" (term used loosely) upset to kick the season off. The inner band-geek in me also wants to see The Marching Southerners blast their half-time show over the connector to where the patrons on the Varsity deck can name that tune...because they'll do it.

The Marching Southerners have more members of their Drumline than Tech has fans in the state of Georgia.

There are several things to keep in mind for the DVR tonight:

#1. Falcons @ Ravens (ESPN 8, The Ocho): What?!? NFL!?!? Yeah, I'm not the best Falcons fan out there, but here is why you as a Dawgs fan need to watch the game tonight. The AJC says tonight is what will make or break DJ Shockley's chances of making the cut as the 3rd string QB. Coach says Matt Ryan will take a few snaps and the rest is either for DJ to win or lose. So keep you fingers crossed for Shockley to play lights out and send that bum Joey Harrington packing. Once a Dawg, always a Dawg and DJ is too classy a guy not to get his shot in the pros.

SCRATCH THAT, FALCONS @ RAVENS WON'T BE TELEVISED, BUT I STILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

#2. NC State @ South Carolina (ESPN): I don't really care about either of these two teams. South Carolina isn't gonna do anything but bitch and moan all season whether they win this one or not. It's just a matter if I want Tom O'Brien to shut them up or if I want Coach Richt to. Either way the Gamecock's use of the theme to 2001: A Space Odyssey is plain & simple a GAWD-AWFUL tradition and pretty lame and unoriginal to say the least...but that could be the rivalry talking.

#3. The Hills (MTV): OMG that Audrina is such a HO-BAG! She needs to decide between Justin and that new douche Colin. Also, I really hope Lauren and Doug stay together, they're so PERFECT for each other! AAAWWWWWWWWWWWwwww!!!

Saturday Morning: A Day of Ritual - Round Duex

I promised you some pretty weird stuff. Not 2 girls 1 cup weird, just strange like when your farts smell like Krystal cheeseburgers and you haven't eaten Krystals since last Monday kind of weird.

Picking up where we left off yesterday...

#4. The Changing of the Flags Ceremony.

This is my house Monday-Friday.

This is my house Saturday-Sunday.

No disrespect to Uncle Sam, but the weekend is where we air out the UGA flag in the Mackalicious household. Saturday morning, after I've donned my Saturday best I go to the front closet and pull out the Georgia flag. I take it outside, change it out with the Stars & Stripes, then before putting it back in the holder I wave the ever-lovin' shart outta' it on the front porch. This does 2 things, #1 it shakes the wrinkles out, #2 it lets the neighborhood know that those who bleed red & black are welcome here, all others can sit & spin Terence Moore style.

#5. Dress the Dawg (aka. Geez Mackie, that's pretty gay).

Alright, lets just get this out on the table. I have two dogs, they both happen to be Chihuahuas. Laugh it up, but chances are I love my dogs more than I like any of your family members so eat it. Below is their Easter picture, it is by the very (male) definition of the word, queer. But I'm not making excuses, I approve of this action because it makes my wife and I smile and I'm told that I like to do it.

Pepper is on the left, Olive on the right.

Olive was our first dog, I had her in college, we bought her a UGA shirt.

Olive proved to be VERY unlucky when wearing the UGA shirt. To put this into perspective, for the Chick-Fil-A Bowl 2 years ago, Olive wore the UGA shirt for the first 2 quarters...at half-time I made her take it off. So we bought another dog, Pepper. Pepper has a solid record of winning while wearing the shirt, therefore he gets to wear the UGA shirt...Olive doesn't. For one day, my little black chihuahua who likes to poop in the guest bathroom puts on a Georgia t-shirt and becomes the #1 Dawg in the state that isn't named Uga. On walks he gets to pee in the Auburn fan's yard, poop in the Tech fan's yard and he only snaps at the children of the Clemson people down the street. Yep, for a gay little dog, he ain't half bad.

Get to know him, you'll like him, he dresses well, keeps a clean house, and will totally raise the property value in your transitioning neighborhood.

#6 Throw my hat in the creek.
This is my lucky hat, not my Gameday hat, my lucky hat.


Every Saturday morning the Dawgs are playing, this hat gets thrown into the creek.



I don't remember exactly why I started doing this, and I won't reveal which East Cobb creek it is that flows lucky water in case there are any spies reading who want to steal the secrets of winning. This is really all I remember...

Matthew Stafford's freshman year after we lost to Kentucky I decided my "lucky hat" (shown above) had run out of luck and I bought my current "Gameday hat" to circumvent the loss. That was the week before we played Auburn. The following Saturday I wore my old lucky hat outside to take the dogs out. While I was out there I walked down the hill to the creek. I thought about the loss the previous week and I ripped the old worn out hat off my hat and slammed it down into the creek thinking if we can't beat Kentucky, we sure as hell ain't gonna beat Auburn.

So I picked my hat up out of the creek water, and hung it up to dry outside, went inside and watched football all day. Georgia won and I've been doing it every week since. Before I left to go to the Sugar Bowl in January, I went to the creek, got a cup of water out and left a note for my wife to pour it over my lucky red hat before the Sugar Bowl was to air. She did it, Georgia won. I know it's silly, I don't question it, I just do it and shoot a bird at anyone who makes fun of me.

#7. The Lucky Yankee Candle.
The Yankees burned my state, so I burn their candle. It's red and smells like like Pomegranate...and victory!


#8. Something Old / Something New.
Just like most all other Dawg fans with a ceramic bulldog, I turn it to face Athens on Gameday. But next to it on my shelf I placed the Larry Munson talking bobblehead I purchased from The Georgia Sports Blog's store link. I plan on incorporating that in some way. Perhaps have it facing North-East just like the real Larry...but I haven't worked that out yet.


#9. Butter-fest!

Every Saturday before the Georgia game comes on, I eat an entire stick of butter.

...okay I made that last one up, but at this point I feel like I could have thrown that and eating the soul of a child onto the list and you wouldn't have thought I was much stranger.

Either way, I hope this helps you come to terms with your own ritual you perform before gametime. I honestly don't think I could reveal much more about myself that would be as embarrassing as this but shame has never been my strong-suit.

Wednesday Wordle Answer

Well, no one got #2 right. As promised here's the answer.

BUT BE WARNED:
ONLY CLICK THE LINK BELOW IF YOU WANT YOUR MIND COMPLETELY BLOWN BY DRAMATIC STYLINGS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxxOyGK1pMk

Embed was disabled, sorry.

UPDATE: ACTUALLY BIG PHIL GOT IT RIGHT, BUT I STILL WANTED TO LINK THE VIDEO.

Question...

If in fact Alabama pulls the upset on Clemson (who are the universal pick to win the ACC Atlantic right meow), does anyone take the ACC seriously the rest of the year?

Lets reverse the conference rolls and throw in some Sports Illustrated picks.

If Alabama (whom SI thinks will go 8-4 this season and finish 3rd in their division) beats Clemson (whom SI thinks will go 10-2 and top their division) that would be the equivalent of Auburn (whom SI thinks will go 10-2 and top their division) getting beat by...Maryland (whom SI thinks will go 8-4 and finish 3rd in their division).

The ACC is struggling with something fierce right now. The Tigers are a 6 point favorite over Bama right now, I couldn't image a Auburn/Maryland match-up where Auburn was favored by less than 14. I say if Bama wins this, the dye is cast. The ACC will continue it's woes in competing, recruiting, and over-all not sucking for the next several years. If Clemson wins then the slow rebuilding process continues with an uphill battle of the ACC against the world.

Then again, did you really need a schmuck like me telling you the ACC is an inferior conference?

Wednesday Wordles!

You know the drill.
Answers in the comments section.

Song #1


Song #2


Song #3


Song #4


Hows abouts a deep cut, eh?

Song #5

What the Hell!?!

I haven't bought a bottle of coke in a while. They've changed their bottle caps and I can't get a grip on the dang thing to twist it off. I had to have a girl in my office open it for me. The new caps aren't even a 1/2" tall which is WAY smaller and on top of that it doesn't have the little notches around it to get a grip!

Yes or No: I'm a numb-nuts for not being able to open the new Coke bottles?

Saturday Morning: A Day of Ritual - Round 1

As I promised Monday, I present you with the secrets to winning on your part. Today I'll cover just the basics of what to and what not to do when it comes to Gameday. These are the things you should know by heart already and should be a staple to any one's Saturday morning who takes their ritual seriously. So lets begin.

#1.

Never, ever, ever, EVER under any circumstance shave on Gameday. Guys, don't shave your face, your unibrow, don't trim your body hair, etc... Ladies, don't shave your legs or pluck anything if you want to take this seriously. Don't even trim your fingernails. Bottom line don't do anything that makes you less of a person (mass wise) when it comes to cheering your team to victory.

Here's another way to look at it.

Things that happen when you shave:
-weddings
-funerals
-court appearances
-jobs

Things that happen when you don't shave:
-hard liquor
-BBQ
-Guitar Hero
-hockey fights

...choose wisely, I know you will.

#2.

Know your Gameday attire, and have it ready the night before.
Pictured above:
1. Bulldog pattern underwear
2. UGA dri-fit polo
3. Red Eddie Bauer shorts
4. Red & Black New Balances
5. Gameday hat

No variations allowed unless you want to test your luck. The only acceptable changes are due to weather related events (rain ponch is a plus, long sleeves and full pants acceptable in late Fall) but even then you might want to make sure you're wearing the originals underneath...just to be safe.

#3.

Know what you're drinkin' and what you're drinkin' it out of.

Pictured above:
1. Jack Daniels (or chosen brand of whiskey)
2. Coke...NOT PEPSI...very important
3. Gameday cup

Last year I went through a handle of Jim Beam during the football season. A buddy of mine gave me a bottle of Jack for my birthday so I figured I'd give it a try this year. If things start getting too close I'll be heading down to Mink's Package to pick up some more Jim Beam...you can never be too safe (plus, said friend is a Tech fan, sabotage is always a possibility).

There is no acceptable alternative for Coke Classic. Bottom line.

Finally make sure you have your Gameday cup washed and ready to go come Saturday morning. This season I'm donning my plastic Sugar Bowl cup I got in New Orleans last January. Drinking is to commence at the beginning of ESPN's College Gameday Live (in moderation) only to slow until gametime. 15 minutes before your game of choice starts you better start hittin' the sauce again.

At the beginning of each quarter I down a shot of whiskey with a squirt of lemon juice concentrate on top. This shooter is in honor of Larry Munson who is all man (the whiskey) but still doom & gloom when it comes to sizing up the competition (the sour).
"Boy, Georgia Southern has a good lookin' team this season. Even with 8 starters out for the opener we better bring our A-Game because they'll come out swinging and we better be prepared."
Come 12:30 Saturday, this man will have you fearing Georgia Southern.

I'll cover a few more rituals later which are more specific to me personally. As I said earlier, the above should be standard traditions for anyone who is a football fan. I'll get into the crazy stuff tomorrow when I can take more pictures without getting rained on.

Hallelujah!

Here is my second attempt at video editing. BP-TV LIVES ON!

The year is 1996 and this was Jim Donnan's first win as the coach of the Dawgs. One reason I chose to highlight this game was to show the balls-out playing by Mike Bobo who gets overlooked a good bit when looking at UGA QBs historically. Seeing his guts on the field again makes me glad he's in charge of calling plays.

Pretty much other than the Miracle on the Plains and beating Tech that year there wasn't too much to jump up and down about.

Enjoy!

...dude, seriously.

Alright, internet was down for the second day in a row at work. Not only does that make work uber-boring, but I really have lost all ability to look busy without using a computer.

Aside from that, sorry about the light posting. I'm at home now and I just finished editing my second video for BP-TV. I think it's more interesting than the first because I'm uploading it to YouTube in a higher quality format (which means you can actually see what's happening).

I've got some great pictures for my feature on Gameday Ritual I'll be working on, and don't forget the Wednesday Wordle (which I'm going to try and do tonight and schedule to post tomorrow in case Al Gore refuses to turn our internets back on).

Thanks for your patience, I'm doing the best I can with what I got right now...and that ain't a lot.

GO DAWGS!

...Dude

Internet was down since lunch at work today. Sorry for the light posting for a Monday, I've got a few things cooking in the oven right now so be patient and hopefully I can pop out a few zingers in a few.

An interesting list

Rivals.com has an interesting list linked here.

It is a list of the Top 10 Indispensable Players. Why is this interesting? Well, there isn't a single Georgia Bulldog listed for starters. Of course the GPOOE (courtesy of Sen. Blutarsky) is on there, and the only other SEC player is Jasper Brinkley of South Carolina.

To me that is a great sign of a well-rounded recruiting program. Yeah, we've had a few guys go down for a few games to injury, but what we've got is options on offense (not to be confused with a triple-option being run at a secondary program in Georgia). God forbid anything happen to Knowshon, but if it did we've got 2 guys battling for the backup spot who have been tearing up practices. Also Matthew Stafford will be able to throw to several excellent WRs if our running game is off. On that same note, if anything happened to #7 we've got a pretty decent back-up in Joe Cox who doesn't have the best arm of the bunch, but can easily take snaps and hand-off to backs or make some short passes for yardage.

We've done a great job keeping ourselves off the list of programs with indispensable players. Putting all your eggs in one basket is what makes ghost town programs. I think we can all agree we've got quite a gauntlet ahead of us, but if a man goes down there is more than enough talent to fill for a few games and keep us rolling.

Go Dawgs!

Weekend Wrap-up

Wow, what a weekend eh? I don't know about your neck of the woods but in mine it pretty much looked stormy with gail-force winds for 3 straight days blowing down trees and raining leaves into my gutter all day. THEN it finally decides to rain last night once my gutter is filled up and runs into my attic space and through my ceiling. That means I get up on the roof in the dark with a tarp and a flashlight to clean out my gutter and lay plastic down to stop the run-in.

...and you think you can't wait for football season?

Anyway, I've got big plans for posting this week. My plan is to make this BLOGGING PANTSLESS RITUAL WEEK. I know most fans have their pregame rituals they perform which, regardless of what any wife/girlfriend will tell you, actually does help lead your team to victory. So this week I will be highlighting different parts of what I do to provide that extra bit of positive static in the atmosphere to pump up each player taking the field in a UGA uniform.

Sound crazy? Perhaps, but here's the way I see it. If you have a fish in a puddle of water how important is each drop of water that lands in his puddle? If there is a player who is tired and beat down, there might be that extra bit of spirit in the air (be it a cheering fan in Sanford Stadium or a barking Dawg in Iraq) that gives him the boost of confidence he needs to give it all he's got just one more time. Just like Larry Munson begged the defense to "Hunker it down one more time!" in Auburn, we as fans need to pour every bit of emotion into cheering for our team because it does matter.

This guy is doing his part, how 'bout you?

My 1st Video

I went out and purchased some video editing software last week. I tinkered around with it for a few days and finally made my first video. It's not the best UGA video on YouTube but I'm proud of it. Hopefully once I get a few more tricks under my belt I'll be able to make some stuff as good as UGAMummraa.

Anyway, let me know what you think. It's pretty much a collection of old clips from UGA games set to Van Halen...what else do you need?!?

Week One Picks

Just a reminder if you haven't made your picks for week 1 in the Blogging Pantsless Pick'em Group, this is the last week.

It's not too late to join, just follow this link.
Group #: 10885
Password: nopants

Here's the thing. Week one is usually full of easy picks. This is usually due to the fact most programs know to enforce off season suspensions, they need a cupcake to sit their big boys out on. An unfortunate problem, but a smart idea by the ADs and scheduling staff. Unfortunately, every now and then a couple of top programs decide to wear their ovaries on the outside and schedule an opponent most programs save for week 3. Makes for great television, but usually prevents me from starting out with a 100% perfect pick week.

As most of you know now, this year that game is Alabama and Clemson playing a neutral site game at the Georgia Dome. This is the classic Shakespearean dilemma of heart vs. head.

My Head:
Clemson takes this game 28-21. The Tigers have a way more experienced team and Bama still isn't quite there. This is really Saban's first year with his recruits and unless he pulled some top talent guys he expects to carry the weight of the team through this year Alabama will start out 0-1. Tommy Bowden's team has some real talented running backs and Cullen Harper is a top QB in the ACC. (9)Clemson begins the season with a strong start rolling through Bama and Citadel before hitting their conference schedule with NC State week 3.

My Heart:
Alabama shocks the world with a 32-24 upset in Atlanta. Clemson's got a lot of talent and are expected to do well this season, but this sounds like the beginning of the season from the last 5 years. Why should I not expect coach Bowden to fall flat on his face this year? Alabama's got the top WR recruit expected to compete in Julio Jones, he could potentially either make or break Alabama's offense this season. Plus it is a middle of the pack SEC team playing a top ACC team...why should I not expect Bama to dominate? Think I'm the only one thinking Bama might pull an upset? Yahoo users have the Clemson/Alabama game with a 66% confidence to the Tigers. Compareably the next lowest percentage is Missouri vs. Illinois with 79% confidence in Missouri. However UGA is 100% facing GA Southern...just so you know.

I still haven't decided which way to go the first week. I'll pull for Alabama as long as they aren't playing UGA on Saturdays, but I can't ever find it in my heart to cheer for Clemson. Therefore I might be leaning toward picking Clemson to win, because I'll want Bama to win and if they lose at least I'll have the right pick. Vice versa if Bama wins I'll be happy Clemson lost and not as upset about my record.

Either way I'm starting to ramble, care to show your cards before picks are due? Let me know what you're thinking because I'm still up in the air.

One Week From Today...

As many of you may know already, I've purchased tickets to the JSU/Tech game for next Thursday. I will readily admit my doubts in JSU knocking off the Mustard Jackets in their season opener. But just in case the stars align, Ryan Perriloux is capable of carrying the weight of a much less skilled JSU team, Tech doesn't show up and/or the triple option is a triple bust...I wanted to say I was there. Plus I've got the football jones REALLY bad and anything that might give me a quick fix just to stop the shaking would be great (it helps that I get to root against GTU in the process).

Therefore, I consider this to be one of my finest master pieces in the division of Photoshop excellence. If one week from today I wake up and see this picture on the front of the AJC's sports section...I will not be going to work that day. In fact, if at said game the upset occurs, I might not even make it through the night. There will be a plethora of finger-pointing and Nelson-esq "HA-HA!"-ing going on in downtown Atlanta that night.

Friday Morning Fart Scene!

This is a deleted scene from Talladega Nights. Just the idea of making your farts say words had me rollin'. Ahhhhhhhh...funny.



HAPPY FRIDAY!

Southern hands Dawgs 1st upset loss in season opener!

Well, not really, but AJC.com is reporting they did win according to Coach Mark Richts' "game rules" of the practice game. His rules stated whatever happened on the final one minute drive of the first team offense would determine the outcome. We score, we win, otherwise we lose (which I think is a great mindset to have at the end of a practice game).

On the last drive of the game UGA made their way into field-goal range, but here comes the bad news.

"Richt said the offense actually drove into field-goal range but that Blair Walsh missed a 45-yard field-goal attempt."

That's not what I wanted to hear. Do I think a freshman kicker will make 100% of his kicks in an SEC where defensive speed will be breathing down your neck? Not at all. But unless the defense was really pressuring our highly touted kicker in a make-believe game, I don't like the fact he wasn't in "the zone" for what should have been a standard field goal from the 35.

Otherwise, UGA dominated the rest of the practice game. Kicking is one of my biggest concerns of the season, I really hope a win or loss doesn't come down on Walsh's shoulders but I'm thinking eventually it will. Hopefully some of my confidence in the kid will return once the season starts and he gets mellow'd out during crunch time.


Blair, I wanna let you know good luck, we're all counting on you.

Creepie Stuff on Craigslist

FREE DUCK MASK!

Location: Acworth

My opinion: If you want it, you can have it. You'll get no fight out of me.

Paul Johnson of Arlen, TX.

Nice shirt, Paul. You dress like Bobby Hill.

Though I'm pretty sure not even Bobby Hill would be caught dead in Georgia Tech apparel.

What your college gear says about you.

The following pictorial includes commentary overheard from the environments pictured clothing was worn in. Enjoy!

"OH LORD NO, PLEASE TAKE ME TO A DIFFERENT HOSPITAL! I'M BEGGING YOU!"

"Is it SUNDAY?!? I thought I.T. got away with only having to wear polos and black jeans."

"She doesn't look too bad, she must have had some dental work done."

"Well, at least the kid has shoes on. We ARE at the nice Piggly Wiggly after all."

"PPPPPTTttTTTT!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAaaAHaHAA!!!!!!111111111"

10 Commandments of College Football

I didn't write this, I don't even necessarily agree with all of them. I'm just essentially forwarding an email I received from a fellow fan of college football. And I read...


Extremely important recommendations for wives, girlfriends, fiances, mothers, sisters and daughters.

1. From the first weekend in September until the end of the bowl season, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. The remote control will be fingerprinted each night, any sign of your fingerprints and all shopping trips will be cancelled for a month.

2. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting the beers, I don't mind, as long as you crawl along the floor.

3. During the football season, read the sports section of the newspaper so that you understand who I’m yelling at during the season. As a tip, check the box scores for the referees names too.

4. During the games I will be drunk as Cooter Brown. You cannot expect me to listen to you, open the door, kill any spiders, answer the phone, etc. It ain 't gonna happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because my team is losing, DO NOT say I'll get over it, it ' s only a game, or don't worry, they'll win next time. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called ' words of encouragement ' will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. If a great play occurs while you are in the room, you may be required to freeze or repeat your act for the rest of the game as good mojo. If my team wins, you will be showered with gifts for the next 6 days. If they lose, you will be blamed repeatedly for moving, blinking or secretly not believing in your heart of the power of mojo.

8. Tell your friends NOT to get married, have any babies, or any other social related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
I will not go, I will not go, and I will not go.

However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Saturday to watch a game, we will be there before the Coors Light bottles reach ' Code Blue ' .

9. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. College Gameday and the highlights on Saturday night are just as important as the games themselves. Even if I curse Lou, Herbie, and Corso like the anti-SEC, biased dogs that they are, I still want to hear what they say.

10. And finally, please save your expressions such as: ' Thank God the football season is only during the Fall. ' I am immune to these words, because after this comes the NFL playoffs, the Pro Bowl, AFL, AFL2, the CFL, and the replays on the college sports channels.


Again, I take no credit for this. I just figured it'd make a good filler post while I catch-up with some work this morning. I had a pretty good brain-fart as to something that would make a good read when I woke up this morning. My goal now is to turn that into an entertaining/coherent post. Check back in a few hours to see if it has come into fruition (pronounced "froot-shun").

Wednesday Wordle

It's that time again folks! Last week's introduction of the Wednesday Wordle went so swimmingly I've decided to make it a regular segment. Post your answers in the comments section once you've figured out the songs. Some of my favorites this week might be a little more difficult to the untrained eye so dig deep.

Still in the classic rock genre:

#1.


#2.


#3.


#4.


#5.


Good luck!

One week +1 day until football starts

Boy, all this work sure does interfere with my social life. I'm driving out to a new job site out in Augusta today so it'll be fairly light posting until I get back late afternoon.

HOWEVER, I have scheduled the Wednesday Wordle to post automatically around 9:00am-ish. So if that shaves at least a little time off your workday until I get back, then my job is done.

Until then, here's a video of people falling down, Yaaaaaaayyy!

What it means to be a bulldog.

After I'd posted earlier about how annoying yellow jackets (the insects) and yellow jackets (the geek squad) are and considering it to be a largely appropriate mascot for the school, a reader who goes by Naychaboy made a very insightful comment...

"Why would you CHOOSE to have a yard pest as your mascot? I was thinking about
it in context to Uga. When Uga VI passed, several people said that he
represented everything that the Bulldog Nation stands for. He's tough, he's
loyal, he's strong, and then he's kind of cute and playful for the kids...now
THAT'S a mascot. But a yellow jacket? You nailed it...just an annoyance. To put
it in the context of the Uga discussion, yellow jackets are annoying, not
dangerous (unless you're allergic to them), cowardly..I realize that this does
in fact describe the Yellow Jackets, but is this what they STRIVE to be? Isn't
that what a mascot should represent?"

So that got me thinking, what exactly does it mean to be a bulldog? Well, first I must come clean. I am not in fact a bulldog by collegiate affiliation, however I am a life-long dawg fan. Now you can feed me that garbage about how annoying fans who didn't even go to the school they cheer for are, but if you think only alumni of UGA are buying tickets, apparel, and funding UGA athletics then you are sorely mistaken. I for one like the way the private school chip on my shoulder looks with this fleece vest and cheap bottle of Andre champagne.

You see that drunken face, bitches? That's the drunken face of a non-taxpayer funded education!

But back to my original topic, what does it mean to be a bulldog. Naycha brought up loyalty, strength, and charm. I thought I'd throw a few more out there. How about the vision of stability, an icon of dedication, the spirit of "never say die". How about a friend to all who will have him, and an enemy to those with bad intention. A ferocious competitor with a proven record of winning (no matter what Stuart Mandel vomits into his columns). How about the wrinkles of an old dawg's face (Larry Munson) and the youthful exuberance of young pups (AJ, Caleb, Knowshon, etc.). What about the Saturday congregation and fellowship among family, friends, and friends you haven't met yet who stumble into your tailgate promising you the world for just a shot of whiskey and a coke to chase it. It's what you set your schedule and calender around, it's the values you raise your kids with, it's the rousing highs of victory mixed with the heartbreaking pain of defeat. It's the charm of southern tradition, the pride of the battle hymn, and vulgarity of barking at total strangers. It's win or lose, you know the next day at church the outcome of the game and your actions following it will be justified before God and your fellow-man. It may not be America's favorite pastime, but it's the South's favorite by far.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for college football to start. Amen.

UPDATE: My wife, being a big Alabama fan, wanted to add her 2 cents about the similarities between me and a bulldog. I don't find this very funny though.

1. Snoring.
2. Sometimes you drool when you eat or sleep.
3. Public urination.
4. Stubbornness
5. You only have a small bump where your tail should be.
(agree to disagree, I think I have a nice butt)

Why Tech annoys me.

The mascot of Georgia Tech couldn't be more appropriate, the yellow jacket. What is a yellow jacket you ask? (I know you didn't really ask but just go with it)

A yellow jacket is a pest. It is a bother. It is not anything to be taken too seriously due to the fact it poses no real threat (allergies exempt). A yellow jacket will annoy you just to get your attention. It will pick a fight it cannot win, only to use it's only defensive mechanism then fly away.

Much like the insect, the Tech fan is a pest. It is a bother. It poses no real threat to you (computer viruses exempt). Much like a how a middle school kid will annoy you to get attention, the Tech fan is no exception. It will pick a fight it can't win, only to employ its defense mechanism "It's alright, you'll be working for me someday" then run away. Unless I'm working for the IT department at DeVry...I don't actually think I'm working for any Tech students, but that's beside the point.

I found the following video on YouTube. I had never seen it before, but it seems strangly appropriate for the content of this post. It was posted after the UGA/Tech game last year and involves Yellow Jackets doing what they do best, being annoying then running away. h/t to KJKJava.



I know there are issues of which direction the sound is moving relative to sound volume, but this metaphorically reminded me of a yellow jacket buzzing around your ear only to be swatted away once you've had enough of it. Go Dawgs!

Random nsfw Picture of the Day

Three years ago when I started work out of college, my boss and I had a very strong common bond in the area of college football. I recently received word I'd be getting a new laptop for work so I spent some of the weekend backing up files to transfer once it came in. I ran across the following picture he'd sent me back when we started working together. It made me laugh then, and hearing all the speculation of UGA possibly playing Ohio State in the National Championship game makes it all the more funny to me.


I hold a lot of stock in my belief of the SEC having the hottest girls. I know because I married their queen bee.

(HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!)

Is it Valentine's Day?!?

...because MAN I'm gettin' some love!

Special thanks to Kit over at The (Original) Dawg-gone Blog for giving me more love than Mark May gives Florida.

...and I quote...

"Everyone knows that Doug at Hey Jenny Slater is funny. Damn funny. Hell, so funny that he has the hardware to prove it.


However, Mackalicious at Blogging Pantsless is rivaling Doug and absolutely blowing away everyone else. As funny as I try to be, I can't hold a candle to the guy. If he's not in your daily blogroll yet, you need to add him and check back often. He's poignant, quick and a damn riot, which are three things you won't find here even on my best day.


Oh and I literally choked on Diet Mountain Dew when I read the MacGruber post. I know that's lost on a bunch of people, but I found it funny as hell and it damn near killed me in the process.


Check him out. Seriously, I'm not f*cking around here and apologies to Mackalicious for my error in leaving you out of the previous post on the blogosphere. Kit Fail."

If you see this man, give him a hug, buy him a drink, and tell him his haircut looks great. Shoot, send his kid $20 when they graduate highschool, because the man is a prince I tell you, a prince.

Weekend Wrap-up

Not a whole lot of news from this weekend. Pretty much just a lot of Olympics coverage that I'm not going to try and cover. Everyone already knows how awesome Michael Phelps is. If you don't and you get all your news from my blog, then you're a moron...sorry, I love you, but you are.

Anyway, I was pretty pumped about the AP ranking our Dawgs #1. Now with the rankings released those of you who joined the Blogging Pantsless College Football Pick'em can proceed to put your research to good use and make your calls on week one. I for one was excited and immediately jumped into it. Then I came to the painful realization that I don't know which Alabama team will show up to the Georgia Dome and/or whether or not I'm buying into the "Clemson will actually be good this year I promise it's different than last time" hype. So it's off to the blogosphere for me to size up whom my first week's picks will be.

If you haven't joined up yet, it's not too late. You can follow this link.
Group # is "10885"
Password is "nopants"

Saturday, the softball team I coach played their last game. Afterwards we all went to OK Cafe for lunch. After we finished eating we walked to the front to pay our bill, and who do I pass just sitting down to eat some lunch? This handsome devil

I told Arthur "hey" for you, don't worry.

Finally, I watched The Notebook (by choice) with my wife last night to take a break from the Olympics. I swear on this blog that I didn't cry, but here is the best metaphor I can think of. You know when you pour a Coke into a glass and you see the fizz rise and rise and rise and you think OH CRAP IT'S GONNA GO OVER but then you see it make that dome over the rim, but none actually pours over? That glass of Coke was my eyeballs, but I didn't cry.

This next section is devoted to the women who might frequent this site and/or enjoyed The Notebook.

Masochism: mas·och·ism, / [mas-uh-kiz-uhm, maz-]
1. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
2.the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.

...seriously ladies, that behavior isn't healthy. How can you do that to yourselves?

Chris Collinsworth

What the hell did the NFL do to the shoulders of Olympic correspondent Chris Collinsworth?



He looks like one of the human-head puppet-body people from Weinerville.

Yes I understand that is a very random Nickelodeon reference, but in my defense I was able to find a VERY long YouTube video to supplement it. You can thank me later.

About the following post...

In case some of you don't understand what is going on in the Tyson Gay / NBC post below I'll fill you in (because looking at it again I feel it might be confusing).

I get so sick of stations making news. It's disgusting. Saturday night Tyson Gay was interviewed and completely crapped on NBC's backstory they'd been pushing on how hurt his hamstring was. Then after he walked away (after saying his hamstrings are fine and with no limp or injury) the commentator said something to the effect of, "...though I think it's clear to all of us his hamstring is still nagging him".

Thus NBC is portrayed as many robot characters from television and cinema history.

Bonus points if you can name them and/or place the movie.

A Dialogue Between Olympic Athlete Tyson Gay and NBC Commentators

NBC Booth: "These false starts are really going to be straining Tyson's hamstrings which we've just finished presenting you a 15 minute backstory on how hurt his hamstrings are. Luckily the second start is quality, Gay seems to be in fifth place, it really must be due to that hamstring. (8 seconds later) And that's the end of the heat, lets go down on the track to speak with Tyson Gay, who just ran through some obvious hamstring pain to finish 5th in the qualifier which eliminates his chance of running for a metal."

NBC: "Thanks Tom, I'm down here with Tyson Gay. Tyson, great run my friend, how did that hamstring treat you?"

Gay: "Hamstring?!? Oh, the hamstring is fine. I just wasn't able to get it done today. "

NBC: "Yeah, I'm sure that false start didn't help it either. Tyson, we know the Jamaicans are fast, with your hamstring hurting you what will your plan of attack be in future races?"

Gay: "You serious? Uh, well...if my hamstring were to start hurting me anytime soon, I guess I'd just have to take it easy until race time, keep it loose, you know."

NBC: "Yeah, you'd better keep some ice on it too! Tyson, when you're running as hard as you can to the finish, and you feel the pain of your hamstring tightening up. What runs through your mind? Do you fear any permanent injury to it?"

Gay: "Look man, I don't know where you got the idea that I was running with a hurt hamstring, but I'm not injured. I'm feeling great! I just wasn't as fast as the Jamaican today."

NBC: "I'm afraid I can't let you say that, Dave."

Gay: "Dave??!? Look man, I don't know what's going on here but my hamstring isn't hurting me, listen to me when I say, I'm 100%. Bottom line, I'm not hurt, I just didn't run well during the heat. My legs are fine, no hamstring problems. I'm going to walk away now, thanks." (walks away)


















NBC: "Alright, thanks again Tyson. Clearly not making any excuses for his performace. But it is more than obvious his hamstring prevented him from making the cut at this heat. Hopefully he'll get his trainer to take a look at it and keep him healthy for the next race. Now on to our next 15 minutes backstory feature on Dara Torres' daily calcium supplement regimen, Tom."