With every passing day, I want to win the first 2 games against Boise State and South Carolina more and more.
So considering the condition of our backfield, I thought I'd throw this out there for Isaiah Crowell...whom I'm sure is an avid reader of blogs who post sparingly.
If you turn out to be the real deal and we start the season 2-0, I'll buy a super-thuggin' Georgia hat like yours and wear it for the rest of the season.
If we win the East I'll wear it through the end of your college career.
If we win the SEC championship, I'll wear it until the damn thing rots off my head.
Now I understand the team will not win or lose on Isaiah's shoulders, but I have faith in our defense, QB, and for the most part the wide receivers (hearing some INCREDIBLE things about Malcolm Mitchell's amp going up to 11)...but if our O-Line can bust open some holes I'd love for Isaiah Crowell to give us the offensive weapon we recruited him to be.
I know Georgia has had a tough season this year. But heading into the Auburn game this year, I'm reminded of 2006.
We were a 4-loss team wrapping up a rebuilding year. Our highly touted, freshman quarterback had looked shaky at times...but he was a freshman so we chalked it up to inexperience. There wasn't much else to play for that year but at least we were already bowl eligible.
My boss has been a season ticket holder since he graduated in the 80's and when I asked him if he was making the trip to Auburn that year he laughed and said "If the Dawgs can't show up for Vanderbilt or Kentucky, I wouldn't put much money on me showing up for #5 Auburn."
Cam Newton is good. Auburn is a well-coached team. All signs point to a loss for the Dawgs.
But when we hit the Plains this Saturday, remember 2006. It was the Matthew Stafford & Tra Battle Electric Boogaloo that kicked off a 3 game win-streak and had fans pumped up for the 2007 season. I'm not saying we'll beat them, but we haven't been blown out all year, and I think even the most pessimistic Dawg fan knows that. Our loss average this year has been by 7 points. Last year our loss average was 16+. We're a couple of tipped passes in the Cocktail Party from playing for the East (if's & but's, who cares).
We can't change the past, but we can be supportive and hold our heads high. You can hate Mike Bobo, you can hate Mark Richt, if you dare try to strangle Todd Grantham clearly you will have a fight on your hands...but you can even hate him too. But it won't change the fact that they're in charge of OUR team for the next 3 weeks, and I say, hopefully longer.
It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, and it sure as hell ain't over until WE SAY IT IS!
Aaron Murray, this is your time to shine. Put down the Shake Weight and uncork the magic we felt back in 2006. GO DAWGS!
...in case you're wondering how it's already part 9 of 10 with four games remaining, I'm not counting Tennessee Tech (assumed W) and the Nerds will get a write-up of their own.
11.14.2009 Our Barn (Home)
There is little I'd rather see than Auburn Football open their season with a loss to a team coached by the Dooley bloodlines.
If there were ever a season it could happen (since Vinny left coaching in '88) this could be the year. First year Head Joke Eugene Chizik brings his coaching pants to the Plains for what would have been the biggest trainwreck hire of the SEC had Lane Kiffin kept his mouth shut. But all kidding aside he has no where to go but up at Auburn, and here's why.
5-19 over two seasons with Iowa State's product will probably translate into 5-7 with Auburn's players/schedule over the course of this year. Doubling your cumulative win total in only one season is something to be celebrated...right?
I think in a couple of years Auburn might be something to reckon with, especially their defense, but that time won't come until they get their Quarterback situation solved...again....this year.
A closer look at Guz Malzahn's offense makes it appear the Kodi Burns era might have come to a quick and bitter end. Junior QB Neil Caudle has the arm and the accuracy to make it happen, but Kodi Burns has a Bowl win and nearly a full season of starting experience. Does that mean anything if the Tiger Eagles aren't running a gawd-awful spread offense? Probably not, but at the moment the QB sitch isn't resolved and could potentially be up in the air until September 5th.
OC Malzahn isn't going to be throwing around a 2 quarterback rotation, so look for him to make his bed and sleep in it...even if it stinks. though I assume a bed made anywhere near this thing already reeks of Slim Jims & Aqua Velva.
But getting back to Gene Chizik, perhaps Ed Orgeron has screwed up my view of Defense-minded head coaches. I think there is a certain level of insanity that defines the great DCs, and I'll give Chizik that much, he was a great DC. But making the transition to Head Coach hasn't come easy for many DC's since the late, great Erk Russell, God rest his soul.
Best case scenario, Auburn wins 7...I'd be surprised by 8. One thing's for sure, however many they win, one of them will NOT be against Georgia.
Looks like it'll be a beautiful early afternoon game in Athens, Dawgs roll 34-12.
UPDATE: ...yes only an hour after I wrote this I'm updating it. Unfortunately when you don't do your research you miss things of minor importance like the fact Chris Todd has already been awarded the starting QB posich. Nit-picky I know, but only because I want to bring you the latest & the greatest information from the interwebs. I still stand behind my claims of 0% journalistic integrity.
Since an Aldous Huxley reference would be a little cliche I'll go with a STYX album instead.
As many of you have already heard from here, here, here, and here there's a new sheriff in town and his name is Horse Sh*t.
I'll readily admit I haven't analyzed this stuff under a microscope but from what I gather unlicensed media cannot post clips, interviews, shower-scenes, etc... from SEC football. I take this to mean no more YouTube collaborations from bloggers and Sunday Morning Quarterbacks (please correct me if I'm wrong).
Being that I had some great ideas for this season, I'm a little irritated at these new restrictions but I think I might have a tip for those who are interested.
Last year I bought some software called, Dazzle, from a local electronics store called Micro Center for approximately $75. This software allows you to record football games or TV shows to your DVR and then run an A/V line out to a USB cable where you can download and edit them with your computer. Needless to say I had a blast with this stuff and my levels of self-gratification from doing stupid stuff such as this... ...were at an all-time high.
But I quickly learned thanks to handy little notices like this one: "This video contains an audio track that has not been authorized by WMG. The audio has been disabled."
...you don't tag your background music unless you want Eddie Van Halen's piss-on to write you an ugly note about using copyrighted music.
So that's my suggestion if you still want to create your own tributes to SEC football by making highlight collages. Pick up some capture/edit software and as long as you don't tag any of the stuff hopefully no one will find it by doing a basic search. Will it make it difficult for the average fan to find? Absolutely, but if nothing else it won't completely disable your ability to have a little fun due to the SEC's new Fairness Doctrine.
Per David Hale:
...I’m guessing after your favorite team gets spanked by a rival, you’re not looking for the watered-down version of what happened. Perhaps you really don’t care where the information is coming from, but my guess is that you value quality journalism a lot more than they give you credit for. Maybe you go to one place and one place only for your news. But I’d be willing to bet the majority of you have gotten used to being able to surf a few dozen sites to get a broad view of Georgia football.
I'd agree with that, my first stop after a Georgia win is to get the quality journalism first and foremost. I want to know the stats, I want to know where we lagged, and I want to relive moment after glorious moment of a victory. Then after I've had my fill of people who obtained degrees in Journalism I want to hear from the Business majors. Yeah, I know it's not the most politically correct crowd, but if I want to see Tim Tebow highlights set to a Wham! song with the word "queer" plastered on the screen I think (as an apple-pie eatin' American) I have that right!
But in all seriousness, would you expect otherwise? It's the same type of money-grab free-for-all that replaced Mr. Toad's Wild Ride with Winnie the Pooh Takes a Dump on Your Soul at the Magic Kingdom. Mo Money, Mo Problems says I and it doesn't appear to be getting better anytime soon. The awful part is, with the free-market, this still falls well within what fans are willing to put-up with in order to get their college football fix. The crux of the biscuit isn't the apostrophe, it's where the media deal decides it can squeeze more limitations into the picture. THAT should be about as fun to watch as Mississippi State/Auburn 2008 highlights.
10.31.2009 Gators (Neutral) Where to start with this?
First, it's hard to argue when these guys are on your side. AC/DC recently added a show in Jacksonville for Friday night, October 30th. How do I know they'll cheer for Georgia? Compare everything Tim Tebow stands for with everything AC/DC stands for. I'm sure Nickleback or Creed will schedule locally so the jean-short faithful will have something to do Friday night.
Florida enters this game after a 3 game stretch @LSU, Arkansas, and @Miss State. LSU has the best shot of beating Florida, Arkansas and Mississippi State will both lose (regardless of what Dan Mullen knows). My hope is this run takes a toll on the Gators. I hope Tebow has to run directly into 300 lb. defensive linemen for three straight weeks (according to Thom Brennaman their lives will be better for it). I don't want injuries, I want weariness.
I want the Gators to enter this football game knowing they've owned us for 16 of the last 19 games. I hope they're still #1. I hope they've got a big ol' jug of Kool-Aid they're drinking on the sideline. I want their confidence to be a mile high in this game, because for once I think we've got the fire.
No stats or reasoning, because there is no reason we should win this game.
No gameplan, because the gameplan is to play Georgia Football.
No excuses for not being prepared.
Mark Richt will coach us into Jacksonville.
This guy will do his thing.
But this... ...will be the face you'll see on the front of the AJC November 1st when the Bulldogs shock the world.
10.17.2009 Vandy (Away) ...also available in Brandy Snifter.
I had waited my entire life to see Vanderbilt go to a bowl game. No literally, I was born 10 days before the Commies lost to Air Force in 1982 and since then Vandy has been...well...Vandy. The Athletic Department was dissolved and the Commodores have become the conference game of choice for SEC Homecoming. Each year they tend to upset one team or another, but it stands to reason that Vandy has been fighting Miss State for #1 doormat contention in SEC football.
This was not the case last year.
Vandy got off to a hot start pulling off what some would consider upset wins against South Carolina, Ole Miss, and Auburn. Then we found out South Carolina was having their typical season and Auburn was uncharacteristically awful...however they beat a surprisingly good Ole Miss team.
But that 5 game hot streak came to a screeching hault with losses to Miss State and Duke. What the hell, Vandy?!? Are you legit or not?!? Fortunately they got Kentucky to roll over for a bellyrub and ended the regular season 6-6, and that's bowl eligible.
Their match-up with ACC Atlantic Division Champions Boston College was one of the most watchable mid-grade bowl games I'd seen in a while. I wanted Vanderbilt to win that game slightly less than I wanted Georgia to win their bowl game. You know I'm a sucker for conference supremacy, especially over the ACC and we got just that in a game winning fieldgoal for the Commies.
With a bowl win under his belt, the pleated khakis now make sense.
This season has all the ingredients to send Vandy back to Bowlsville, but it's gonna take some luck on Bobby Johnson's behalf. Returning Senior QB Mackenzi Adams might have the experience to lead Vandy to 6+ wins, but he's tailed by 2 back-ups (the talented Larry Smith and pass-master Jared Funk) who might take the job if Adams starts to play inconsistently.
Vandy's not much of a threat with their offense, especially in passing. Last year they ranked 112th in the nation in passing and 110th in efficiency...that's awful. So if nothing else, expect it to get better because it couldn't possibly get worse (sound familiar, UGA defense?). Where Vandy will shine is their Defense:
Per Scout:
The pass rush should be fantastic. With Broderick Stewart returning after getting hurt late last year, to go along with Steven Stone, Tim Fugger and Teriall Brannon on the outside, the Commodore ends will get to the quarterback early and often. The tackles are great at generating pressure from the inside while the speedy linebackers can fly into the backfield. And then there’s corner Myron Lewis, who tied for the team lead with five sacks. The Commodores will bring the noise from all angles.
So that means when push comes to shove, our offense will have to...
#1. TAKE THIS GAME SERIOUSLY!!!
#2. Have our playmakers step up and make it happen. I'm hoping our O-Line can give AJ Green the time to get open, but from what I'm hearing Vandy's Pass Rush will be a thorn in our red-headed QB's side.
#3. Hopefully by the seventh game of the season we won't still be looking at our roster of running backs like the toppings menu at Five Guys. "Whom do we want to play this down?" might not cut it against a solid defense of veterans.
#4. TAKE THIS GAME SERIOUSLY!!!
#5. TAKE THIS GAME SERIOUSLY!!!1 (the #1 is added for extra emphasis)
It is so frustrating to see Georgia walk into the Vandy game assuming a win. They'll 'pants us once in a blue moon, and I don't want to know if #14's carpet matches the drapes. This should be a blow-out considering the talent we pull in, but sometime it's a little too close for comfort and as a Dawgs fan it pisses me off.
There was a quote made by a South Carolina player last year (or maybe the previous year) regarding how teams shouldn't lose to Vanderbilt because they're the worst team in the SEC. If you can find the quote please post it in the comments section and I'll give you mad-credit. But as stupid of a thing that was to say after you JUST lost to Vandy, it doesn't make it any less true.
Blogging Pantsless predicts we leave Nashvegas 6-1 after we hang 24 on the board and limit the Vandy offense to 14 or less. We then proceed to pull those stupid looking ascots off their necks, use it to pick up UGA VII's droppings, and toss them through the windows of the Vanderbilt School of Dentistry. We would have gladly left quietly had the Commie faithful not broken out the "You will work for us one day" chant.
There are a lot of people who end up homeless by habitually making bad decisions. These bad decisions usually do nothing but slowly alienate you from friends and family as you drift in with a crowd of fellow bad decision makers.
Is Lane Kiffin a bad guy? I can't say that I know him personally, but my head says no. What I can tell you is he came into the SEC during the off season and like clockwork the smallest prick initiated the pissing contest. Over the course of this downtime Lane somehow managed to piss off anyone and everyone who would listen. So he has alienated himself from his SEC family (quite a dysfunctional bunch), except for his fellow homeless people...now replace the word "home" with "tooth" and you've got VOL NATION 2k9 BABY!
According to the Gerald Celente-like accuracy of the Pantsless Preview, our Dawgs roll into Knox-vegas after a huge victory over LSU. The Volunteers will have just finished playing Auburn in the newly minted Dunce-Bowl the week before.
Just like Tennessee, Auburn is also breaking in a new Head Coach...and I whole-heartedly believe many War Eaglers are huge fans of Lane Kiffin. Why? Because if Lane Kiffin hadn't been hired and started mouthing off to people, all the press would be on what a bunch of dumbasses the Auburn fans are for running off Tuberville and replacing him with Iowa State uber-leader Gene (chizzy-chizzy) Chizik...but I digress.
We don't really know what kind of toll the Tigers will play on Tennessee, but I have a good idea we'll be in the same boat after playing the other Western Division Tigers the same previous week. So we have no real scheduling advantage because at the halfway point in the season, as grueling as our calender has looked at least we haven't played SEC headliner Jesus Jr. and the Florida Gators.
Anyway, so we know Tennessee Safety Evan Berry is the freakin' man. What we don't know...
...wait...Eric Berry???
...then who is this Evan Berry I've heard so much about?!?
...13 years old?!?!
Well, I guess if Coach Kiffin is comfortable with putting Tennessee recruitment in the hands of Gary Glitter, then who are we to judge? "...oh UT Wildboyz. Nuh-NA Nuh-NA-NA-NA...HEY!"
But where was I? Oh yes, Eric Berry is a freakin' beast (I would only suggest clicking that hyper-link if you're comfortable with the taste of vomit in the back of your throat...if you were Greek in college I'm assuming you've come to appreciate the sensation). So that guy's going to be back which means we better have our $#*! straightened out at RB because I don't know how much I trust Joe Cox to stay away from this character. With any luck, he has a great Junior year and leaves early for the NFL so we don't have to hear that cracking sound next year. If not, perhaps he'll see the value of his skills and transfer his final year of eligibility to Life College and become a chiropractor instead.
Also the Vols will have a go-to guy in Gerald Jones at WR...but luckily my grandmother is still in the mix for playing Quarterback at UT next year so I doubt his threat will match his talent level. Either way, as I've stated before I've got high hopes in our defense improving exponentially for the 2009 season and I believe the Willy-Mart will be open for business.
I've always said "Rocky Top" is a song best sung by someone reeking of bourbon, oozing with sarcasm, and wearing faded red pants. At last check, Vegas had our boys at 3 1/2 point favorites...I'm gonna give them a full TD.
Dawgs: 20 'Teers: 13
At this point, if the people dressed in Orange aren't wishing Kiffen had kept his mouth shut...they probably haven't learned their lesson and will continue to go about making the same bad decisions that got them in this ugly toothless situation in the first place.
Who can tell me what's wrong with the premise of this video?
...if you guessed, bragging about your new Defense coaches then show clips of how good your old coach's defense was...then YOU WIN!
Now take a crack at this one....
...yep, you got it! Showing clips from your player's highschool highlight reel goes a loooooong way against scaring your SEC counterparts.
Now don't get me wrong, LSU is a very talented program. For the most part, you can always count on LSU to be in the running for the SEC West. They pull talent like Michael Jackson pulled Huggies...yep....went there.
But just like these videos show, you can't rationalize anything with their fanbase. Don't try to have a civilized conversation about SEC football with these people, it ain't happening. 9 times out of 10 it'll end with the words "Whup 'dat azz", "Tigah' Bait!", or "Justin Wilson coulda kicked Alton Brown's azz!".
To say LSU will be more of a challenge than last year would be an understatement. I doubt we'll see Jared Lee tossing pick 6's to our defense now that Jordan Jefferson has taken over as QB. Watching them dismantle Tech at the Peach Bowl last year was a thing of beauty (hopefully our staff was taking notes on how to defend "the perfect option").
To be perfectly honest, this preview is going to be relatively speculative. I'm not going into a ton of depth when it comes to how I view LSU's roster because I view our two camps as being in the same position. If anything, personnel-wise, I give the Dawgs a slight advantage especially due to QB experience and strength of our linemen. We both have superstar WRs (Brandon LaFell/AJ Green) split, LSU has advantage in the Runningback dept. with senior RB Charles Scott, and I'll give Georgia the advantage in our kicking game (LSU will be breaking in a new place kicker and punter).
Schedule-wise the Dawgs will continue their role as Sisyphus (how's that for some culture, bitches?)
and picking up where Arkansas left off, the Bayou Bengles will be performing the part of Elle Woods carrying around her pink-clad chihuahua.
Going into the 2009 football season with all guns blazing against Pac-10 powerhouse...Washington? Then they host Vandy, UL Lafayette, and make a treacherous trip over to Starkville to play the Bulldogs of the West. Please note the Mississippi State trip will be treacherous, not the game...Starkville blows.
As if you didn't know already we've faced Okie State, South Cackalacky, Arkansas, and Arizona State in the same time-frame. Also, as you are aware I predict UGA to fall prey to the Razorbacks and come into the LSU homegame with a 3-1 record. This is why you might be surprised I pick Georgia to knock off LSU on October 3rd.
WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA??!?!?!
That's right, I think we'll drop the Arkansas game because we'll be tired and get caught with our pants down trying to moonwalk through Fayetteville. But it's the same frustrating situation where we underestimate the opponent and don't play with the fire we need to win. However, LSU is a name we know to take seriously. We have them at home, this will be Jordan Jefferson's first start in a loud SEC opponent's stadium, and we'll have nothing to lose. LSU will still be undefeated and riding a media wave of monstrous victories over mediocre opponents.
Rennie Curran dreams about two things: -peace in Liberia -running QBs attempting a passing game
Jordan Jefferson gets a bitter-dose of reality on his first trip to Athens as the LSU Tigers fall to our Dawgs in a shootout, 20-17 UGA.
Next we take a trip to visit The Kiffer in Knoxville. I think the only thing more difficult than writing the preview for this game would be avoiding the easy cliches that run rampant like 13 year olds with football scholarships in Knoxvegas.
9.26.2009 Arizona State (Home) Walt Disney in a Onesie
So if the season pans out like I've got so far, our Dawgs return to Athens with a 2-1 record. The ASU Sun Devils come to town and to be perfectly honest with you, I'm not expecting a huge challenge from this one.
Though we're coming off a tough 3 game stretch, ASU is yet another opponent who will have already taken a bye week in the first 3 weeks (Arkansas). After opening against Idaho State, the Sun Devils take a week off then play UL Monroe before traveling to the Classic City.
I'm expecting our Dawgs to take out some aggression on ASU. Just like us, the Sun Devils will be breaking in a new starting QB, Danny Sullivan, who has played second fiddle to Rudy Carpenter the last few years. I'm assuming Danny won't have the mouth on him that Rudy did, which will make moments like this slightly less enjoyable.
However I'm looking for our defense to terrorize Dennis Erikson's offense. Last year their Offense placed 100th overall in total production. Most of this was due to having a piss-poor excuse for an offensive line which was more than happy to let the other guys rub Rudy's face in the dirt. As I've said before I'm expecting Coach Martinez's defense to be much more improved from last year which doesn't bode well for anyone in Maroon and Gold trying to move the ball.
On Defense the Sun Devil's return a flop that rivaled "Land of the Lost" in Omar Bolden. Omar's freshman year was exciting and he earned himself a spot on the Freshman All-American roster. His sophomore year was a different story. He got fat and lazy which makes me believe he'd been hanging out with Andruw Jones during baseball season...HEY-Oooooo! He'd get burned by receivers and played with the consistency of the Braves Bullpen...ZING-A-ROOSKY!
If Omar Bolden gets his act together, paired with Senior DE Dexter Davis who is the best pass-rusher on the team, the Sun Devil's defense could be something special. Unfortunately if their biggest question mark deals with being able to stop our passing game, advantage UGA. My prediction involves an irate bunch of Georgia boys taking a much lesser Pac-10 school out to the woodshed in a 42-20 SHELLACKING!
This will be our rallying cry before the Tigers from Cajun Country come to town. It's the landmark game that will set the mood for the remainder of the season. We got our stupid loss out of the way, Joe Cox and Co. will be fired up and ready to make some heads roll. AJ Green, the SEC's best WR (regardless of what anyone from Alabama says) will have a 3 touchdown day and Arizona State will not be able to stop our passing game.
9.19.2009 - Arkansas (Away) Last year, Patrino's Pigs beat Western Illinois and Louisiana Monroe by a grand total of 5 points...combined...for both games.
That same team later went on to beat LSU and Auburn by a grand total of 4 points...combined...for both games.
I think we'll all drink to LSU and Auburn being down on their luck in 2008...but being able to rub it in Alabama's face that you beat ULM by 1 isn't really getting the praise piled on you.
So what the hell are we supposed to make out of Arkansas?!? Here's something to make of it, the first loss of our 2009 football season.
To put this claim into perspective I'll share a list of other things I'm equally as confident in:
-Jon & Kate announce they're working it out tonight...for the kids.
-Once you get past the stank, Indian food is actually quite delicious.
-Women who sound like Macho Man Randy Savage probably don't smoke.
-The boys at Georgia Tech are capable of picturing a woman naked in their imagination without tentacles present.
-There are benefits to cocaine.
-Our tax dollars are being used in the most efficient and cost-effective manner possible.
-Seeing this with my wife won't make me want to hang myself in the theater.
Bottom line, I have no idea what to make of Arkansas. Some people think this is the year Petrino gets all his boys on the same page, others think they're still a year or two away. But I have been burned so many times by Georgia trying to cakewalk through their mid-to-lower SEC schedule that I can't help but think the stars will align for Arkansas. On the otherhand, Arkansas does have quite the "Oh-fer" record against us in the last 14 years* (last win came in '93 in Athens). In Coach Goff's defense, he was out-coached by the legendary Danny Ford.
I don't think Arkansas has anything special this year, but I think they catch a travel-weary UGA team with their pants down in a game we should have won...but didn't. Plus if I set myself up for failure, it'll hurt less when it actually happens. (That means I will be assuming UGA goes 1-13 on their way to winning the 2009 National Championship.)
Arkansas has an uber-fast RB in Michael Smith, go here and fastforward to the :47 second mark. If you think our infamous shoulder-tackles will stop this kid...you're a moron. Transfer QB Ryan Mallett is a 6'7" hoss, but he's still relatively green and his O-Line might be better suited to protect a D-III quarterback. If Willie is hungry, he'll have his plate full but we've got to put Mallett on his back a few times. I'm counting on Demarcus Dobbs to throw that big meaty paw up in the air and knock some passes down too. Between that and stopping Michael Smith we should find out if we are men or...men shaped mice in this game.
The upside:
Their defense should be the biggest weak spot. If Joe Cox still wants to put up some large numbers, he'll get his chance here. AJ Green should have a field day, but anytime the football isn't tucked safely under the pads of someone with a bigass "G" on their helmet it's up for grabs. In other words, it'd be nice to have Caleb, Richard, or Carlton step up and give us some quality runs.
My final call is Arkansas 27, Dawgs 24. They will have played Missouri State and taken a "bye" week over the same span of time we've traveled to Stillwater for Okie State, back to Athens for SCU, then back out again to Fayetteville (for a grand total of 2,620 miles by the 3rd week). It sucks, and I hate to lose...but I'm being a realist here and I think this is the first loss of the season.
If nothing else, take comfort in knowing a team with 1 loss has nothing to lose in regards to playing any undefeated counterparts.
LSU? YOU AIN'T SO BAD! Florida? YOU AIN'T SO BAD! Rocky got his mouth shut once by Clubber Lang. Once. And it never happened again.
*That sounds a lot better than it actually is, we've only played 5 times since then but they haven't won in 14 years so I'll go with the wording which makes us sound better.
If I was to dress up like a Hasidic Jew and take a stroll through downtown Tehran, I might still have a better time than I had in Columbia, SC last year.
If you were one of the fortunate few to make a long-ass drive to a boring-ass warehouse district on a hot-ass day to watch a pathetic-ass game AND you found a gas station that didn't charge $7/gallon (limit 5 gallons) on the ride home...then you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
Just their luck, the USC fans get to come to our campus where trees abound and the occasional breeze and/or cloud blows through. Their fans should consider this an "Away Game" as much as I should consider my trip to Disney this September as "5 Consecutive Sick Days"...it looks tough on paper, but you know they're looking forward to it.
We will be making a long trip home after our 34-10 victory in Stillwater, riding a media wave of "WHERE DID THESE GUYS COME FROM?!?!?" ...which we couldn't need LESS.
CFN doesn't tell us anything we don't already know, that USC has been a picture of mediocrity since the OBC took over. They predict the same song & dance for the offense, but sophomore QB Stephen Garcia could possibly develop into an excellent QB in the next year or two. Unfortunately another year wiser doesn't make a competent offensive line appear out of nowhere. As we all know, you can have a superstar QB...but without protection he's fertilizer.
They're defense might be their strong suit which will come as a change for our boys from the previous week. Since 2000 (with the exception of blowout victories in 2003 & 2006) the average margin of victory has been...get this...5 1/2 pts. We can poor-mouth their offensive prowess until the sun goes down, but until we can guarantee a touchdown+ against these visor wearing goons they're going to keep hanging with us and get the occasional victory.
So USC comes to an amped up Sanford Stadium for a night game September 12th. To us it'll be like playing a mid-level SEC team...which is what it is. To the Gamecock's it's the Iron Bowl - East. They care about beating us WAAAAAY more than we care about beating them...which sucks. I'm just as guilty of it as the rest of you, but I don't see this as LSU, Florida, or Auburn. However, it's the mindset that "Oh it's just South Cackalacky" that drives me freakin' nuts when it comes down to the final play in the 4th as time expires. They play with a passion we used to only reserve for Georgia Tech, so we better have our @#$% straight.
Final call? Georgia wins a nail-biter 14-10 and time expires as Stephen Garcia throws a Hail Mary from mid-field.
Here's the vid from last years game. It'll really make you wish we had #24 out there, but make no mistakes about it AJ Green will have a career day against their pass defense. If nothing else seeing Spurrier's sideline mannerisms is worth listening to Journey for 5 minutes.
We'll need pinpoint accuracy from Joe Cox to seal the deal. It'll be your typical ugly UGA/USC early season game but Dawgs will be 2-0 when we visit Patrino's Pigs out in Arkansas.
9.5.2009 - Okie State (Away) They don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee, but they've been known to smoke unprepared defenses in Stillwater. The AP has us entering this game as #16 playing #13 Oklahoma State. Like I said I'll be taking preseason rankings with a grain of salt but that doesn't mean I should completely ignore them.
This will officially be the farthest distance I've ever traveled for a UGA football game (New Orleans 2008 drops into second). It gets said every time we start off with a big boy, this is the most important game of the year. It will set the tone for the remainder of a long and grueling season of SEC football. Few of us know much about Okie State other than they will be stacked on returning Offense and at one time their coach was 40.
Here is my completely one-sided, horse-squeeze prediction for UGA/OSU:
Final Score - UGA 34, Okie State 10...seriously.
Here's why, OSU has our attention right now especially with a higher ranking. I'll be the first to admit the Dawgs have a HORRIBLE habit of going into mid-level difficulty games with a gameplan of playing half-assed football (see Vandy, South Carolina, etc...) but we tend to show up for the (non-ACC) OOC games with a different mindset because they are a different breed. Boise State had our attention going into 2005 and we had the same questions yet to be answered.
The Cowboys have an offense that will be looking to put us away early, but it ain't gonna happen. Willie Martinez is ready to shut people up...and as much Hell as I've given him in the past I've got a gut feeling this will be the year he gets our boys in line and they perform the way we recruited them to perform. Just look to last years film minus WR d'Juan Woods to see what we have to stop. Our big boys will be ready, Willie's livelihood depends on it.
On Defense the Cowboys will have some serious question marks. Here are the words straight from mrorange from the Orange Power messageboards...
Our defense pretty much stunk last year, but we've got a new DC that should hopefully stop someone every once in a while. We had a good d-line last year, but most of them graduated. You could call it our most glaring weakness. Our secondary was iffy last year, but we played a lot of young players that have hopefully gotten better. Our linebackers should be really good, although legal issues may prevent one of our best defenders from playing. I'm still unsure about our corners; we got burned way too many times last year for me to get super excited about them.
...now THAT is what I like to hear. A vote of No-Confidence from the Cowboy faithful means there might be some serious problems to exploit. Here is the Dawg mindset for this. Joe Cox has been Led Zeppelin playing second ticket to Pink Floyd (Matthew Stafford) for the last 3 years. Both players are incredibly awesome but for two completely different reasons. Matthew is now out of the picture making money in a city where people don't make money (...other than Vegas) and it's Joe's time in the limelight. If my knowledge of red-headed stereotypes serves me right Joe Cox is the kind of guy who will hold a grudge and get fired up when he's challenged on his level of competence.
By our second possession, Joe Cox will have a good understanding of OSU's defense and he'll smell blood in the water. He will do anything and everything to get the football in the endzone because he's got a chip the size of T. Boone's bankroll on his shoulder. When it's all said and done, the score will 34-10 and just like Zeppelin Joe Cox will be beating his critics with a mudshark.
I'd look for UGA to put up some big numbers and get our hopes up for a great season before tragedy strikes in a subsequent game...you'll have to keep checking back to see which ones I think we drop. If there is any good to come out of this game for the Okie State faithful, it will be that T. Boone doesn't have to fly his solar powered helicopter too far after a crushing defeat. Hopeless optimism? Overly confident? Call it what you will, but Mackie's looking to start the season with a quality win.
Who knows, we've still got 2.5 months, something could happen that makes this a whole new ballgame.
Be the voice of reason here, tell me why I'm wrong.
UPDATE: I'm a moron and did a copy & paste job of MRORANGE from a OSU messageboard from 2 years ago...the good news? Apparently things haven't changed too much! Try this article for a more up to date idea of the OSU defense. It's a damn good thing I claim no journalistic integrity, otherwise people would question my viability...HAHAHAHAHA!!!1
But if you want a serious professional's assessment of OSU, peep this.
The Yahoo! Sports Minute says Georgia is still in the running for QB Nick Montana. Among the other schools competing for Joe's spawn are:
-Alabama -LSU -Ohio State -Notre Dame -Some gay school -Some other gay school
(...wait I think I listed Ohio State twice. BOOM! Roasted.)
I still don't think he'll be in Athens due to the young competition he'd have for playing time. I'm assuming Notre Dame will be his pick because the timing would be right once the Clau-hammer wraps up his stay. Plus I heard his father was fond of the Irish.
Still no word on where Joe's daughter, Hannah will be attending.
The Bravos opened their baseball season in Philthadephia last night. It's a fun thing to watch and I hate my intensity for the sport begins to waiver once the silver britches take a different field 73 miles Northeast.
There was something different about Bobby Cox's boys last night. I personally see this year as a clean slate because we made many changes which many saw as being unpopular (and the hate for Frank Wrens rained down like R. Kelly at a highschool prom). New faces littered the field and the guys looked like they were having fun together.
Here's a quick rundown of things I learned...
1. Derek Lowe was THE MAN last night.
2. The HGH Jordan Schafer got busted with didn't help much.
Mainly because he looked like me wearing a Braves uniform. The biggest difference? I couldn't hit a homerun against the Phillies best pitcher in my first major league at bat. Also, I couldn't single up the middle against him my second time at the plate. Finally, I doubt they would pitch around me my third at bat. This kid has the opportunity to be something special, I just wish he didn't look like such a total douchenozzle. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but seriously...the guy looks like he'd be a total bastard if you ran into him in a public setting. Then again, opinions are like noses and mine are big and Jewish-looking.
3. Jeff Francoeur is a lot cuter when he doesn't groundout into an inning-ending double play.
You know what? I'm totally straight, I dig boobs, but I'm not afraid to have a man-crush. My wife is completely cool with it and I've come to accept it as a part of normal male adulthood. It doesn't mean I want to sword-fight with the guy, I think a man-crush is more of a "dude I'd like to hang with" sort of thing. Three to four years ago when Jeffrey broke out on the scene I had much respect for the guy. Then he got fat and the strikeout to double play ratio got way too high and I dropped Jeff in favor of former Atlanta Thrasher Marian Hossa.
4. Hey, speaking of fat & striking out anyone miss this guy??? ...nope? Alrighty!
That's about all I've got, aside from the overwhelming amount of sucktitude the ESPN broadcasters bring to the table the game was fun to watch. However listening to Joe Morgan and Wrongname McQueerballs stumble over awkward silences and calling players by the wrong name is borderline painful. In Heaven, Skip Carey just made a couple exceptions to his "Don't step on downed powerlines" PSA.
Quick football thought:
5 days until G-Day...I was mulling over whether or not I'd think making Red vs Black actually Red jerseys vs Black jerseys would be cool. Have people completely lost faith in how cool the black jerseys looked? I'm of the opinion if we are to wear them once this year it should be the G-Day game, not actually against competition. Bring them back to competitive play in 2010 after the 2008 Bama game is a distant memory. Poll @ top right, let me know Dawg Nation.
We've all seen Coach Richt's Ford F-150 commercial. He touts:
-Sweat feeding the soul -Mental & physical toughness -Success on and off the field -Outworking the competition -Hooking up with the watergirl -Georgia Saturdays being built Ford tough
Apparently, Newnan recruit Alec Ogletree got to experience this first-hand. Last weekend Coach Richt gave him a ride from the weightroom to practice during Junior Day in his truck. He talked to Alec about staying close to God, living life to the fullest, playing in-state where his family could come watch him play and how he wanted nothing but the best for Alec. What a classy guy.
Whos got 2 thumbs and has to use seatcovers so the charisma don't stank up his leather upholstery?
But what really interests me in this story is Alec Ogletree's top choice right now is...Miami?!?! It's not surprising because Miami is a crap hole, it's surprising because he HASN'T EVEN BEEN THERE. I think if this guy is used to the suburban nightlife of the best Newnan, GA has to offer...Miami would eat him alive. I think it'll only take witnessing a couple drive-bys, a few bad drug deals, and catching a bad case of Feugo Cubano from the local mistresses in order to send this kid packing back north to Georgia. Randy Shannon, I'm sure you will show this kid Miami's finest.
"You know Alec, Larry wasn't the only one they called Coker."
"Do you know what a hassa is, Alec?!?"
Of course I've never actually been to Miami either. But I assume it's alot like the movie Scarface...still. Overrun by Cuban gangsters, out of control coccaine usage, discos, and gunfights in broad daylight. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Anyway I've said it before, I think the city of Athens is one of our greatest recruitment assests. We've got churches for the straightlaced kids and Toppers for the wild ones. If you want trouble you can find it, but it's not running rampant throughout the college town.
So hopefully Alec gets his visits in and comes back to UGA. This is out of Coach's hands now but the personal time riding in his truck couldn't have done anything but help. Rumor has it Paul Johnson is taking the same approach to landing his bounty of 2 and 3 star recruits for 2010. Hurry boy! We gotta get over to the Varsity before the Nursing Students herd that way!
As many of you know I'm a slightly superstitious person (see GameDay traditions) and I hesitate to bring this up for fear of jinxing it. Therefore I will refer to them as (occurrences that shall not be named).
You know what I'm talking about, and it is still early yet. But I think the best way for the Georgia Bulldogs to prove they are serious about improving team discipline would be to completely eliminate off-season (occurrences that shall not be named).
A tall order? You're damn right it is, do you know how tough it is not to jay-walk in Athens?!? But the coaching staff has gone so far beyond beating a dead horse on the penalties/discipline issue it is nearing the point of necrophilia and molestation charges. There is a fiery red-headed team leader who is stepping up to take charge and will play Little Spoon to no one...well...except.......you know.
So that's my challenge to the Dawgs this Summer. Focus on your game, not your downtime. This will prevent off-season (occurrences that shall not be named) AND improve your skills/talent. If you want to party, party in the weight room. You can do either to the point of vomiting...believe me I know because I puked in the bushes outside the Marietta Salvation Army office when I thought I could hang with my wife's bootcamp class.
Our 2009 class is finalized, we got who we wanted. Now it's time for the coaching staff and upperclassmen to step up and mould these guys into NO LIMIT SOUL-JA's so we don't get our fudge packed when I make a trip down to Jacksonville this Fall.
1. I'm expecting Georgia to have a 2 loss season in 2009.
2. I'm expecting us to drop an ugly game we should have won, perhaps one we didn't prepare for properly.
3. I'm expecting Tim Tebow to leave the University of Florida with a 1-2 record as a starter against Georgia. 2-1 is not an option, it must be 1-2 and I'm counting on Joe Cox to make this happen.
4. The evening of November 28th, 2009 I'm expecting us to leave a few blocks of property across the interstate from the Varsity the same way that heathen bastard William Tecumseh Sherman left it.
5. I'm expecting a minimum of 1 sack & 1 INT by our defense each game. This we are owed.
6. I'm expecting our QB to have 3-4 seconds minimum per snap in the shotgun formation. This Joe Cox is owed.
7. I'm expecting Blair Walsh to kick the football and have it go between the goalposts for each fieldgoal, point-after, AND KICKOFF. Give up the directional garbage.
8. I'm expecting my Dawgs to still be playing football in January of 2010.
9. I'm expecting a harsh welcome to the SEC for both Coach Kiffin and Coach Chizik sincerely from the Red and Black.
10. Season openers have become the new Christmas, I'm expecting the next 235 days to DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAG by.
Today in a press conference Tim Tebow made the decision to stick around for his senior year at Florida. I imagine the press conference went a little something like this...
"Thanks everyone for showing up, I'd like to first start off with a prayer... (Tim recites lengthy prayer)...alright.
I guess you all are wondering why I called you all here today. Well, I wanted to let all my fans know, I've prayed about it for a long time...in fact...I'm gonna pray about it again right now (Timmy kneels down, bows his head...whispers, stands back up to mic).
Alright guys, I've talked to God, my family, my coach, and my boyfriend and I've decided to return to Florida for another season of football.
(Florida press goes nuts)
Alright, alright. I just wanted to say the main reason behind by decision to stay was because I felt God wanted me to stay and get my degree before I begin my pro career. The second most important reason was all the phone sex I receive from Kirk Herbstreit. Finally, knowing that Mackalicious from Blogging Pantsless would point a gun to his head anytime reporters started stroking their meat over me in a CBS backstory was all the motivation I needed to hang around one more season.
Actually, the phone sex with Herbie might be number 3...after all, it could be worse. I hear Clausen hates when Dr. Lou calls...poor little guy.
But I'd like to answer a few questions.
(ESPN's Mark Schlabach raises hand)
Mark: Timmy, how does this picture make you feel? (passes up picture)
<
Tebow: Mark, I feel this picture is an accurate portrayal of my interests and hobbies. I don't regret painting that on the side of the Kindercare building at all.
Actually guys, that's all the time I've got today. I've gotta get to my fourth Bible study of the afternoon, the fifth and sixth ones usually run a little long...but that's cool, JC's the man!"
...AND SCENE!
Like, I said I wasn't actually watching or paying attention to Tebow's announcement a buddy of mine sent me a text to let me know the story...I was less than pleased.
I'm sure Tebow's decision to stick around one more year had WAAAAAAY more to do with his desire to get an education, play Gator football one more year, and chase tail at the local Boy Scouts facility than it had to do with him being a system QB with Draft Stock lower than General Motors'.
Tebow's future might include breaking all the rushing records in Toronto Argonauts history, but he is to be commended for being a team player and a legend in the Jean Short Nation.
Seriously I can't believe I've gotta put up with this horse$#!% for another season.
Best of luck to Matt and Knowshon in the NFL. I think the most important thing about them leaving early is that we as fans not be "bitter" or "angry".
Look this guy square in the eyes and tell him you wouldn't have done the same thing. ...there, much better.
Imagine if you were in Law School and everyday you had to go through an obsticle course with fire, spikes, and one of those huge boulders from Raiders of the Lost Ark. If someone said, hey you're so talented you don't have to go to law school, come work at my practice and make eleventy bajillion dollars (even though you'd still have to go through an obstical course).
Okay so examples were never my forte. Bottom line, take the advice of these guys from one of my favorite television commercials. For some reason this always reminded me of the 35 year old douchebag professionals I've worked with who listen to rap music, kills me everytime.
It's time to look ahead and move on to the positives of next year. Yeah our new QB is a total ginger kid, but the guy with red hair and freckles stepped up against Colorado when Stafford wasn't getting the job done. Joe Cox's leadership abilities is the least of my worries, I'm more concerned about our running back corps.
Caleb King and 'Chard Samuel haven't really thrilled my socks off. Rumour has it we haven't seen much of Samuel because he's having trouble remembering routes. Of course either of them were totes in Knowshon's shadow and that'll be hard to shake off. My eyes turn to Dontavious Jackson to get into the mix and make things interesting...we'll just have to see in the Fall. Right now, I'd put money on Bobo calling more passing plays to make good use of AJ Green before he leaves in 2 years.
All is not lost, Dawg fans. Next year we will be in the position every team wants to be, presumably "rebuilding". We've got a commendible schedule with some big-name teams but it should be considerably easier than 2008's was. We'll have a valuable bye week before the Halloween Cocktail Party in Jacksonville. The Tech streak will end at 1 on their home field. The underestimating begins 9/5/2009 in Stillwater, let the countdown begin!
A few people commented on the last As Seen on TV post about the Snuggie. If you are unfamiliar with the Snuggie, check the commercial out below.
I'd seen this ad before, but the more I watch the creepier it gets.
A whole family decked out in these "blankets with arms" surrounding a fire smacks of Hale Bop.
If you are cold-natured (like yours truly) here is what I would do before considering the purchase of a Snuggie...
1. Turn the heat up...if someone complains tell them to SHUT THE @#$% UP OR ELSE YOU'LL BUY A SNUGGIE AND WEAR IT IN PUBLIC TO EMBARRASS THEM!!1
2. Throw on a sweatshirt. Who needs a blanket with sleeves when you can wear a shirt with sleeves.
3. Use a blanket (sans sleeves) and if the phone rings tell your wife to answer it while taking a break from the dishes/dinner/laundry/child birth.
4. Purchase multiple dogs to sit on and/or around you.
5. Drink hard liquor 'til the chill wears off.
...Hope that helps!
Finale: If I receive this for Christmas I will:
Have a pair of black Nike's, $5.75 is a cash advance, and a cup of phenobarbital laced Kool-aid ready to exchange with them. I'll also let them know the spaceship anxiously awaits their arrival. After all, it's what Marshall would have wanted.
