UGA/Bama '02

Since we are sub-80 days until college football starts, I get in the habit of searching out old YouTube videos of the Bulldogs. I came across the UGA/Bama game from 2002 and it reminded me of how special this game is to me, personally.

When @OliveTheTweets (OTT) and I first started dating, the first college football game we went to together was UGA at Alabama in 2002. Many of you know this as the "Man enough, Dawg enough" game because of Pat Dye's redonkulous claim that UGA wasn't "man enough" to beat the Crimson Tide at Bryant-Denny Stadium.


Since OTT was still a student at Alabama during this season, she was sweet enough to get us tickets to the game...in the Alabama Student Section.

I wore my UGA gear and cheered when the Dawgs played well, and took my lumps when the Dawgs blew their lead later in the game. As Billy Bennett sent it through the uprights for the game-winner I WOOFed even as the cups came raining down.

OTT and I would eventually attend 3 future UGA/Bama contests where the Dawgs hold a 3-to-1 record (yes we were at the Blackout Game). But the '02 game is special to me because it was the first time we didn't cheer for the same team. The week leading in to these games is ALWAYS fun, and as I sit here reading Phil Steele predicting UGA and Bama in the 2011 SEC Championship Game I get all excited and tingly. I promised her anytime our 2 teams play I'd do my best to get our butts in the seats, so in this regular season when we don't faceoff a Championship on the line would be pretty sweet.

This isn't a great post, if you've been reading Blogging Pantsless for the last 4 years you understand mediocrity is the norm and greatness should be left to the awesome bloggers in my blog-roll (column right). But when I saw this game on YouTube I felt compelled to dedicate a post to my wife, who gave me Alabama as a team-in-law, and makes me laugh with her trash-talk on the rare occasions our 2 teams meet.

I long for the days when Alabama was just an okay team and Georgia found a way to win. I've got high-hopes Coach Richt will turn our team around, but I'm a self-professed Richt apologist so even if he doesn't I'll probably be the only Dawg fan left saying "give him one more shot".

Keeping the faith in 2011, happy Friday folks.

GO DAWGS!

Happy Birthday!

Today is my birthday. I turned 28 this morning to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls and coffee my wife had prepared before I departed for work. When I rolled my sorry tail outta bed I was met with a heartwarming "HAP-PY BIRTHDAAAAAY!" like something straight out of Frosty the Snowman a la Rankin-Bass.

It doesn't feel much different than 27, and I'm pretty sure I'm reaching that point where birthdays aren't what they used to be. I've got everything in the world I could ever need, and the only thing that I want is to spend time with my family once I'm off work.

Perhaps this is what birthdays are meant to be about after the thrill of turning 21 wears off. But don't get me wrong, I still like to get my blackout on just as much as the next guy. Now-a-days it just means my tolerance is so low that now I only require a few drinks to party. I would file that under "fiscal responsibility" but the beer I used to drink in college cost $10 for a 500 pack. Refined taste comes with a price tag.

All that aside, I'm looking forward to this evening with my wife and parents. I couldn't be luckier to have people who care this much about me and the occasional person who swings by my blog to read about it.

As a side note, since most of you know what a music fanatic I am, today is also Frank Zappa's birthday. He should be 70 today but instead he's stretched out in an unmarked grave in Los Angeles somewhere. Unfortunately prostate cancer research wasn't really what it is now back in the early 90's (so guys, get your poopers checked). The man was a musical genius and a warrior for the 1st Amendment. Take a minute to watch this interview of Frank on The Today Show that was done just before he passed away.

5 Year Anniversary

If you've noticed the lack of posting lately, that's been due to me busting my tail trying to get work wrapped up.

Why am I getting work wrapped up?

Well, today 5 years ago I married the girl of my dreams. You might know her as "Sweetie" from the comments section when she tells me my post wasn't funny or I've made an ass out of myself.

Aside from all that, Sweetie has put up with a lot of my crap in a 5 year time-span. I'm a very lucky guy to be married to such a great girl, so for that I'm preparing for a nice little vacation.

The house-sitters are moved in, the dogs are at the puppy resort, our bags are packed, and after a great dinner tonight we plan on getting very little sleep as we anticipate our return to one happy island.

We first vacationed in Aruba on our honeymoon and have been waiting 5 years to make it back. In fact, you might not realize this, but everytime you visit Blogging Pantsless you see a picture from my honeymoon. Recognize this bad boy?

But long story short, I'm going to be even more lazy with my posting over the next week so lets keep those expectations to a minimum, folks. I fully expect UGA to mop the floor with Kentucky and beat the crap out of Florida while I'm gone. I've picked against the Dawgs in my Fantasy Pick'em groups which generally guarantees a victory for us. I'll catch the final scores overseas, but football will be a distant 2nd focus over the next week. I plan on giving all my time,attention, and charm to the love of my life...even if she is a Bama fan.

GO DAWGS!

Bulldog action in your home via Dish Network Georgia

New Look

Going into my 3rd year, I finally updated the layout of BloggingPantsless. I've also updated the "Know Thine Enemy" section for this year's opponents on the schedule.

Of course I couldn't find any hardcore Ragin' Cajun or 'Tater fans who have a blog dedicated to their favorite whipping boy, so those paychecks will have to wait.

Also, I might need a little help from those in the know. Being a small-time blogger I prefer to link other small-time guys in the Know Thine Enemy section, but sometimes I have to go with SB*Nation blogs.

Nothing against SB*Nation, but they don't need the clicks and us little guys get a thrill out of traffic so I try to help them out the best I can. I'm looking for blogs supporting the following teams:

-Mississippi State
-Colorado

Let me know if you guys run across any, I'd love to stick a poorly disguised attempt at humor (AKA, link name) to it and send a few clicks their way.

But let me know what you think of the new layout, I'm pretty proud of it and I think it'll last us a few more years. Or at least until the Mayan calendar or nuclear holocaust wipes everything off the face of the Earth except roaches and Williams Brice Stadium.



...both are faking dead and will get up and crawl away once you walk off.

Roger Waters: The Wall Tour

I'm a HUGE Pink Floyd fan. I've been a fan ever since I was in middle school and played little league baseball. How am I able to trace it back to little league baseball? My wife LOVES this story...

One day at baseball practice, I notice one of my teammates mom (whom I thought was HAWT) was wearing a Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt...yep...my love for Pink Floyd started because I bought an album based on the fact my friend's hot mom was wearing their shirt. But that's the shallow side of the story, once I bought the CD I listened all the way through and recognized 4 songs I'd heard from Z93's rotation (R.I.P. Z93) but didn't know the band.
Hey DaveFM, BITE ME.

That record had a listenability that was unique...you didn't put it on to listen to one individual song, you wanted to listen to the whole album start>finish. That was my first brush with concept albums and I was hooked. Pink Floyd immediately became MY band and I've been a huge fan ever since...well...ever since I found out how crappy their last 2 albums were.

How in the world could this incredible band who changed the way I listen to music produce such a poor product?!? The answer lies in the voice that is noticeably missing from those last 2 albums. Roger Waters had left the band.

For those who don't know much about Pink Floyd (or their following) this is a point of contention among the fanbase. Ford fans and Chevy fans, Georgia fans and Tech fans, Coke fans and Pepsi fans, Roger Waters fans and David Gilmour fans. The band split in the mid-80's because Roger Waters left due to the rest of the band not contributing anything worthwhile to the records...can you tell which side I took?

But I've bought all of Roger Waters' solo albums and seen him the last 2 times he came to Atlanta (1999 and 2006) on tour. To me Roger Waters is the voice and creative genius of Pink Floyd's greatest work, and he's on tour again this year.

November 18th at Philips Arena, you can catch what might be the last great rock & roll theatrical experience. He's touring The Wall which is available as an album, a film, or a live performance.

If you are a fan of classic rock, and you haven't experienced this, I strongly urge you to shell out and buy The Wall. You'll be a better person for it and chances are you'll be interested in catching the show in November after a few listens.

You can learn more about the tour at www.rogerwaters.com and if you're looking for show tickets, check out Lava Tickets if you want great seats. Now that I'm gainfully employed and can afford it, I'm flying down to Tampa for the show and THEN coming back up to Atlanta where I've landed 10th row floor seats.

I know the musicians look tacky in this...but it was 1990, I'm pretty sure they've dropped the leather pants and mullets 20 years later.

A Brush With Obesity

So today I had this "great" idea.

Monday, April 12th marked the official unveiling of the KFC dream sandwich, The Double Down. Also, I've lived in the Marietta area most of my life and not once have I ever actually eaten at The Big Chicken (Its been one of those places I drive by but never actually stop...in Auburn, AL they call this "church"). The stars aligned and it only made sense to kill two birds with one stone.

Follow me as I take you on a trip down dietary Hell.

There she is, rising like a Phoenix from the Arizona.

Hmmm...I should probably go ahead and tell you I can count my total trips to KFC in the last decade on Lance Armstrong's testicles.

I am officially the proud owner of 1 KFC Double Down "sandwich".


So here it is. A bacon & cheese sandwich held together by 2 fried chicken "buns".

...NOM

...NOM NOM

...NOM NOM NOM

FINAL VERDICT:
Patton Oswalt once referred to KFC's Famous Bowl's as "Failure Bowls". I will hereby refer to this beast as a Failure Sandwich. Why? Because I feel like Hell right now. The damned thing was salty, heavy, and 100% vegetable free...unless the USDA convinced you that condiments are a vegetable, then you got your daily serving of Colonel's Sauce. Seriously would it have killed you to put a tomato or a pickle on this thing?!?

I'm not a health-nut by any stretch of the imagination. I can't eat my wife's Kashi cereal without wanting to empty the hole-punch into the bowl to give it some taste. But if you find yourself able to eat one of these on a regular basis, chances are you either have a Dale Earnhardt tattoo or are wearing an over-sized Tweetie Bird t-shirt. Diabetes are in your not-too-distant future and your long hair compliments your red neck.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go fix myself a Lipitor and Maker's Mark...then call it a night.

April Fools Day

I absolutely hate April Fools Day. The pessimist in me refers to April 2nd as "HOLY S#$% HE WAS ACTUALLY IN A FATAL CAR ACCIDENT?!?! Day".

That being said, the humorist in me has always had an affinity for great pranks. If you've ever seen College Humor's Prank Wars, #8 is clearly the front-runner so far.

Enjoy.

Green UGA Stuff...not A.J.

As many of you know, today is St. Patrick's Day (or for the undergrads, Wake Up With Sharpie Penises Drawn on Your Face Eve). It's a day where the people of Ireland celebrate a liturgical day of solemnity, and the rest of the world mocks the Irish by drinking, fighting, and vomiting green fluids. It also happens to be the only day of the year all nationalities get away with wearing "Kiss me I'm Irish" shirts and it's alright!

...clearly not Irish.

But I also wanted to use today to address something I've never really understood. That would be the issue of Lucky St. Patrick's Day team paraphernalia. Now don't get me wrong, I'm as big of a UGA gear junkie as the next guy. I've got UGA socks, lawn ornaments, flags, trailor-hitches, etc... but I have never understood the draw toward GREEN stuff for St. Patrick's Day especially when it's not a school/team color (Tulane, feel free to party on with your St. Patrick's Day specials).

Perhaps if the Diamond Dawgs are playing, (I don't follow college basketball close enough to know if March Madness would ever be played on SPD), or I guess a Thrashers/Hawks/Braves Spring Training game it's acceptable for the day...but when else do you expect to wear this?!?

You would stick out like a sore-thumb any of the remaining 364 and 1/4 days of the year should you attend an event. But in my honest opinion, green team wear is nothing more than a scam to get you to buy stuff...no different than Valentine's Day or your Wedding Anniversary.

I could be way outta line on this, and I'm not calling those who do buy the green stuff "tools", but come on guys...don't be a marketing sucker. There. I think it needed to be said.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've finished my morning coffee and I need to go brush my teeth.

Football Nightmare

I had a REALLY bad dream last night. I dream that UGA Football opened the season against Wofford at Sanford Stadium and we lost 44-42. We lost because our Special Teams play was absolutely AWFUL! We couldn't cover returns whatsoever and it was like watching all your hopes and dreams come crashing down in EMBARRASSING defeat.

...isn't that pleasant?

Well, don't worry because I've never really been one to have prophetic dreams. If so, this whole terrorism nonsense would have been handled a while back when I first started having John Mclane style hero dreams.

For the record, in those dreams I single-handedly defeat the Russians, save my wife from her Ruskie captors, AND prevent The Pier in St. Petersburg, FL from being blown to pieces.
I'M A M-EFFIN' STUUUUUUUUD!

Winter Olympics

I'm pretty pumped about the Winter Olympics. Until I got married and my wife introduced me to the greatness of Olympic sports, I had little to no interest in them. Yeah, when they were in Atlanta I went with my parents to see Boxing (and I got my picture taken with Butterbean...I'll have to post that one later), but I wasn't enthralled with it like I am now.

So, with the opening ceremonies kicking off, I wanted to post the greatest moment in sports history.


This was the equivalent of a college baseball team beating the Yankees. It's watching Appalachian State beat NOT MICHIGAN, but the New Orleans Saints. I would say it's like watching me (from my college years) taking down Roger Federer in a tennis match but the 1980 US Hockey team wasn't THAT awful.

Aside from sport, it was watching the beginning of the end of the Cold War. We beat the Soviets at their own game.

If I remember correctly, this is where the "U-S-A! U-S-A!" chant came from. And I like to believe without THAT chant, we have no "S-E-C! S-E-C!" chant.

If you haven't seen the movie Miracle, add it to your Netflix queue. It ranks just ahead of Cool Runnings in the "Best Olympic Movies" and slightly behind Chariots of Fire.

It also leads to awesome moments in parenthood like this.
...I could eat this child. No seriously, I want to bite him.

A Kick in the Pants

Wow, you see the date on the post below this one? The one that reads November 24th? Well if your memory serves you right that was posted before Washaun Ealey ran this state.

As far as blogs go, there is an internet wasteland full of failed ventures. When I decided 2 football seasons ago to start Blogging Pantsless I was determined not to let it join the ranks of (insert name of dead blogs here).

Well, it appears as though I'd gone through a drought of spare-time and creativity. But today is my birthday, and my wife got me the coolest thing I couldn't have even guessed.



You know what this is? This is the complete 1st year of Blogging Pantsless in print. Apparently I had a lot more to write about during the 2007-2008 season because the damn thing is 250 pages long. I put a pencil in the side for a little perspective of thickness...




Here are a few excepts you die-hard pantsless fans might recall...
(this was when I photoshopped Tebow with Tyrone Biggums crackhead gear)


(ah the old, who would play the role of (SEC Coach) in a movie post...lolz)

There hasn't been any lack of news to write about, my work has just been crazy as we wrap up 2009. This gift was just the thing I needed to remind me how much I enjoy doing this. I'll get better, I promise...sometimes we just need a kick in the pants to remind us why we do the things we do. Thanks, Sweetie.

UGA Pumpkin Ideas

If you remember this post from last year, then you already know how serious my wife and I take our pumpkin carving.

I haven't hit a wall with my blog but work is at a very pivotal point. Right now if I play my cards right I could land myself in a good position financially. Therefore I'm taking my job very seriously which in turn means the posting has lacked creativity and enthusiasm...whoopsie.

Also, the rough start for our Dawgs isn't lending itself any real memorable moments that should forever be captured in pumpkin flesh. I've got some serious thinking to do but if you have any grandiose ideas you'd like to share, if I like it I'll immortalize it here Blogging Pantsless.

Throw me some bones, Dawg Nation.

In preparation for Stillwater...

First let me start out by saying this isn't about our football team prepping themselves for Stillwater, this is more or less about my party and what we're doing.

I good friend of mine whom I lived with at my fraternity house back in college, is making this trip with me.

His name is Josh Moor and apart from him being a total a-hole, he's a pretty damn good Dawg. We used to do all sorts of stupid stuff together like:

-Pour gasoline over a gravel parking lot and then lighting it on fire...because it looked cool watching a parking lot burn.

-Collect all the un-drank booze the Sorority girls would leave at our house and then have Girly Drink Night as we watched excessively violent movies to make up for the gayness of pounding Bartles & James.

-I think we disposed of a dead hooker into West Point Lake once...but that could have been with someone else...I forget.

We'd smoke cigars, listen to music, and pretty much be rowdy college boys...until Moor left for the Army. While he was in the Middle East kicking ass I was trying to fool teachers into believing I was capable of learning.

Here is what Moor was doing:




...unfortunately I only need one picture to show what I was doing.


We've been talking this trip up since I signed up for the tickets and as it stands now we are T-Minus 8 days from heading out of Marietta, GA on a 16 hour excursion to Stillwater. We're roughing it to say the least. We'll drive the entire distance in one day and we're camping out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. But we'll be touring around Tulsa and Stillwater looking for trouble so if you're familiar with the area (or already have your trip planned) and would like to make a few suggestions please do so in the comments section. We can use all the direction we can get (especially if you know of a good place to go tubing down one of the rivers around the area).

I know he's just as pumped about this trip as I am and we look forward to seeing a few friendly faces once we're up there. I don't know where we'll be tailgating yet, but if you see us wandering around the area make sure you have a cold beer handy for Moor because he's earned it. He's currently working on finishing his degree, but until then he's just a dude in search of a party...so Georgia fans better bring it!

If anyone else is traveling without their wife and wants to rough-it look for us our around Lake Carl Blackwell. I'll be the excessively tall-skinny guy who is capable of handling his alcohol and Moor will either be wearing his own vomit or making out with the local girls from Okie State. Either way, we can't wait to get back to feeling like we're still in our glory days. I hope to document it pretty well so when we get back I'll have some good pictures to show off. We're looking forward to it regardless of the fact we're sleeping out in the Oklahoma wilderness, it might not be the Ritz but it sure beats some of the other places we could be stuck.

Not sports related...

...unless you consider eating a sport!

(I sweat when I eat so it's technically exercise...right?)

Entertain my rant for a moment, but I've got a craving for something that isn't served in the United States.

Long story short, over in Europe (and maybe elsewhere but I've only seen them in France and Italy) the McDonalds there serve a unique breakfast thingy. It's similar to the top of a chocolate chip muffin filled with chocolate and it's awesome. I believe it's called a "Mandise" overseas which loosely translates to "OMFG YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!" in English.

Here is a picture I was able to track down through McDonald's French website...
(click for grande)

If you're asking yourself why would he eat at McDonalds when he's overseas...well the answer is simple. I went to France first and just like the French people, their food sucks. I found a McDonalds and that's when I discovered the Mandise. Last year when the wife and I went to Italy I was able to track one down again because they make a great breakfast compared to the cold-cuts and cheese being served at the hotel.

Anyway, if any of you guys work at McDonald's and can convince someone to add these to the U.S. breakfast menu I will eat nothing but these for breakfast for a month just to prove my loyalty. Make it happen.

Life on the Beach

I'll readily admit something, I'm not a huge Jimmy Buffett fan. I like several of his songs, but I'm by no means a Parrot Head. There is something wrong with a grown-man wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops, drunkenly dancing around Lakewood listening to music about life on the sea...when you're at LAKEWOOD! Even worse are the women who readily lift their shirts to these goons. Chances are these women are hearkening back to life 20-30 years ago when their boobs didn't look like a tennis ball in a tube-sock.

Anyway, my point being I just got back from 4 days at Tybee Island and my radio was mostly glued to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville station on XM. That seems to be the only time I'm patient enough to listen to Jimmy's B-Sides and not mind. Chillaxin on the beach with beer in hand...nothing else like it.

I ate my weight in shellfish and ceremoniously downed my share of raw oysters at Uncle Bubba's.
Where else but at the beach would anyone feel perfectly comfortable eating something that looks like this?

It was tough to leave, but I take solace in knowing the only way to sustain that type of life would be to constantly deal with Hurricanes, Tourists, Sand Gnats (not the baseball team), D-Bag Spring Breakers, and the lack of a decent BBQ restaurant. Also, the wife and I noticed there never seems to be a shortage of glassy-eyed, sun-burned, rednecks (redundant?) drunkenly swearing up a storm and hollering at the women they rode in on. I'm used to this in the Gulf, but I expected a little less around the Atlantic...my mistake.

Back to work and the daily grind, lots to catch-up with so light posting this week...but seriously would you expect anything else?!? It's May for Pete's sake!

The Little Things

Busy day at work this morning, but it already had a bad start.

We don't have "personal parking spaces" at work, but I park in the exact same place everyday...the word "RESERVED" is even painted in front of it. Yet officially anyone can park there if the need arose.

Someone was in my place this morning...

This is a picture of my car in it's proper place.


I have diagramed below where I am parked this morning due to the inconvenience.


Though similar to something Bill Lumbergh would do, its still different. I only parked in the slashed paint area next to my usual spot not in a handicap space. That would be rude...and I think enough offensive actions have been taken today, I will take the high road.

Lets hope the day gets better.

Today's Big Thing

So I stole this from Today's Big Thing but only because I was really excited about it. I'm not gonna lie to you, this book scared the balls outta me when I was a little kid (thus leaving me incapable of fathering children or being harmed when knee'd in the groin). Though, I'm really interested in how this will translate into live-action film.

New Cah'

I finally found a replacement for my truck some douchenozzle totalled when he ran into me. I'm now the proud owner of a 2009 Honda Pilot. It's well equipped, got a 100K mile Honda warranty, and I got it $1,000 BELOW Kelly Blue Book's dealer invoice.

So in honor of my new toy, I give you Frank Zappa with a moving rendition of Joe's Garage straight into Why Does it Hurt When I Pee? Of course Joe's Garage is the only relevant song to this post, but I can't edit out the latter movement (pun completely intended).


In the Frank Zappa movie, his role is destined to be performed by Dustin Diamond.

D-Day for Orson

By the time you make your afternoon commute back home, we'll know if Orson Charles will be our future Tight End (not me, I'm hangin' a bird at The Man and Crip walkin' out the door at 1:00pm).

Thanks Pimpmywalk.com!!!

Regardless of where he commits, I wish nothing but the best for Orson as long as he goes to UGA...

Also, where the normal human mind might associate the name "Orson" with such famous people as Orson Wells, where I differ is I never got past associating him with Orson the Pig from U.S.Acres...go figure.


Happy Friday, suckers.

...AND WE'RE BAAAAAACK!

My people, I have returned from my voyage to Mecca.


...no, not that lame curry smellin' Mecca.



The redneck Mecca we Southerners know as Golden, Colorado.

I took myself a little vacay and tapped the Rockies with my beautiful wife. You guys are lucky she was there, otherwise who would have taken all these awesome pictures?!?


Mackie at the entrance to Golden, CO.


Mackie climbing the summit of Pike's Peak! (creative wording)


Coors Brewery Tour


Mackie at Estes Park


Ralphie's stomping grounds


...Yogi's stomping grounds

Anyway, not that I want to amaze you with my totally bitchin' pictures of Colorado. I just wanted to let you know I've taken a breather, collected my thoughts, and hopefully we're ready to unleash an avalanche of editorial sports ramblings. Also, my search for a new automobile is in full sprint due to the insurance company totalling my truck and writing me a fat-nasty check for like a million dollars.

But thanks for allowing me to take a leave of absence from the blogging world...thanks furthermore to those of you who continued to check my blog out even when I specifically wrote I wouldn't be posting until last Monday...which turned into Tuesday. Traffic was steady which meant there was a void left in the lives of 40-50 people who longed for my voice of reason in a world with free government money (if you suck bad enough at life) and moms with eight arms?!?

Hopefully if I get my desk cleared off at work I'll get some stuff up tomorrow. I'd especially love to have a little piece about Orson Charles up under the right circumstances...otherwise I totally knew that kid was a homo. But smoke 'em if you got 'em, it's time to get pantsless!