Alabama fans...

...being Alabama fans.


While doing some covert-ops in Birmingham, @OliveTheTweets and I stumbled across this little gem at a College Sports store at The Summit.

Being that my wife is a graduate of the red elephant school, I had to talk her out of purchasing 37 of them (one for each of their National Championships by her count), but I still love her.

UGA/Bama '02

Since we are sub-80 days until college football starts, I get in the habit of searching out old YouTube videos of the Bulldogs. I came across the UGA/Bama game from 2002 and it reminded me of how special this game is to me, personally.

When @OliveTheTweets (OTT) and I first started dating, the first college football game we went to together was UGA at Alabama in 2002. Many of you know this as the "Man enough, Dawg enough" game because of Pat Dye's redonkulous claim that UGA wasn't "man enough" to beat the Crimson Tide at Bryant-Denny Stadium.


Since OTT was still a student at Alabama during this season, she was sweet enough to get us tickets to the game...in the Alabama Student Section.

I wore my UGA gear and cheered when the Dawgs played well, and took my lumps when the Dawgs blew their lead later in the game. As Billy Bennett sent it through the uprights for the game-winner I WOOFed even as the cups came raining down.

OTT and I would eventually attend 3 future UGA/Bama contests where the Dawgs hold a 3-to-1 record (yes we were at the Blackout Game). But the '02 game is special to me because it was the first time we didn't cheer for the same team. The week leading in to these games is ALWAYS fun, and as I sit here reading Phil Steele predicting UGA and Bama in the 2011 SEC Championship Game I get all excited and tingly. I promised her anytime our 2 teams play I'd do my best to get our butts in the seats, so in this regular season when we don't faceoff a Championship on the line would be pretty sweet.

This isn't a great post, if you've been reading Blogging Pantsless for the last 4 years you understand mediocrity is the norm and greatness should be left to the awesome bloggers in my blog-roll (column right). But when I saw this game on YouTube I felt compelled to dedicate a post to my wife, who gave me Alabama as a team-in-law, and makes me laugh with her trash-talk on the rare occasions our 2 teams meet.

I long for the days when Alabama was just an okay team and Georgia found a way to win. I've got high-hopes Coach Richt will turn our team around, but I'm a self-professed Richt apologist so even if he doesn't I'll probably be the only Dawg fan left saying "give him one more shot".

Keeping the faith in 2011, happy Friday folks.

GO DAWGS!

UGA Husband, BAMA Wife

I am a Georgia fan. I bleed red & black. I married a girl who went to Alabama. I've already covered the concept of "team-in-law" but I'm a little unsure about the following:

I don't think the Razorbacks will beat the Crimson Tide this weekend, but who exactly should I cheer for? Do I love Georgia so much that I would actually root against my team-in-law so to not make our loss look that bad? Because obviously if the #1 team in the country couldn't beat Arkansas either then perhaps Georgia's loss wasn't really all that unexpected...right?

I was pondering the above and then I saw this little piece of magic.


Now everything seems so clear!

WOOOOOOOO PIG SOOIE!!1

Charles Barkley, Auburn Fan

When I think of Charles Barkley, I think of 2 things.

"Fat" and "gambler".

If I were to throw in a 3rd, it'd be "bad golf swing". Make it a 4th and I might associate him with playing basketball or something.

But it takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. Barkley's bad golf swing might not be pretty to look at, but any Auburn grad will gladly cheer him on when he achieves these types of results (see 0:32 second mark).

...yep, they done lost their minds.

My wife owns a Fort Knox-size vault of criticism for my desire to name our spawn Herschel Munson Alicious (should my wife eventually grow to see me as a suitable procreator).

But until that day comes, the Georgia fan-base will always have THIS to hang over the Alabama fan-base.

This isn't naming your dog, "Dooley" or "Loren"...this is the Alabama version of some nutjob actually naming their kid "Georgia Bulldog Smith".

If I've ever wanted a child to rebel against their parents, this is it. Dear Almighty Creator, please let this kid grow up to be a Plainsman/Tiger/War Eagle...that would be divine.
Perhaps he could one day grow up to kick Bo Jackson JerdenHayre's ass (pictured above, hanging in the homemade Jumparoo!)

The Many Faces of Nick Saban

So I'm dicking around Yahoo! and there is a story about Nick Saban getting ready to take his place in history, blah blah blah...

Then I scroll down and see a picture of Nick Saban from his Michigan State days:
We'll call this the Stephen King phase...

Now he's at Alabama:
Clearly going through a Bill Lumbergh phase...

We don't know what the future holds for Nick, but I got my money on him eventually landing real estate on Nathan Davis.
...presumably to cover up the goalpost Bear Bryant is leaning against due to it's poor performance as "anything other than a winner".

But best of luck to the Bammers tonight. By law I'm required to wish you well due to my wife's alumni status, but I hope the Texas fans are able to be on the receiving end of "RammerJammer" like I was 2 years ago. It's a Texas-sized kick in the nuts, so it'd be only fitting for them to hear it after another SEC victory in the MNCG.

Team-in-Law

I'm really looking forward to the Georgia/Abuurn game this weekend. I think the implications of this game will center on who will have the best of two opposing bad seasons. With the best of luck we can match Auburn with a 7-5 season. With a "Jesus in my french-toast" kinda miracle we can win out and sit at 8-4 going into bowl season. I like our chances Saturday, but I wanted to clarify before I go into the meat of this post, that I am a Dawg fan through-and-through. I don't change hats mid-season, and I sure as hell don't fall off any bandwagon the moment Georgia fails to get 10 wins. I bleed red (and black) and there's no doubt in my mind that Georgia Football is NOT dead.

So now that I've cleared the air with verifying my allegiance, I wanted to get some input regarding the metaphorical (and somewhat literal) elephant in the room.

My subject of this post is to address a different issue regarding your Team-in-Law.

For those who don't understand the concept of "Team-in-Law" it's pretty much the same thing as your mother-in-law...it's the team fanbase you marry into.

Many of you do not have this problem because you either:
A: Aren't married
B: Didn't marry outside your supported institution's fanbase.

As much fun as it was avoiding "Rammer Jammer" the 3 previous times our teams met, last year this picture was taken...

...just before my wife loudly proclaimed that she just beat the hell outta us.

I can admit I have a "BAMA" shirt I wear when Georgia has a bye week. I respect Alabama for their history and The Bear. But should I be in attendance at the SEC Championship what is the appropriate attire in order to support one's Team-in-Law?

I wouldn't want to go all out and be confused with all those "BAMA'S BACK BABY, WOOOOoooooo!!!!1" people but clearly, they are the lesser of the 2 evils meeting in the Dome December 5th. Any help you guys could provide I'd greatly appreciate because you know where my heart is...and it's not with Nick Saban...but it does belong to one of his worshipers.

GO DAWGS!

Large Hill Cody

...Terrance is going the wrong way!

COACH SABAN, I CAN HAS?!?

Innerview with the Enemy: Bama Report

Here to represent the Bama fan-base, a young house-wife from Marietta and Alabama grad, everyone's favorite wife I've ever had, Mrs. Mackalicious!

-Why will your team win this game?

We have a great defense that has been able to contain the running game all season. The gators believe they’ve already won the SEC, so they’ll be too busy looking ahead to the National Championship.

-Why will your team lose this game?

JPW’s frat bangs get in his eyes, and he’s unable to throw the winning touchdown… just kidding. I’m fearful of the costly, stupid mistakes that have plagued the Tide during previous seasons.

-If your team’s coach was a tree, what kind of tree would he be? Why?

Money tree. Get it? Because, we’re paying Saban a boatload of money to win.

...wishes Tuberville all the best.

-For each situation you only have 1 option, would you rather your team win or…

1. Have the pet of your choice live forever.

I love my dogs more than I love college kids who play football (Note: it says “dogs” not “dawgs”). Long live Olive, the Chihuahua. Sorry, Pepper.

2. End world hunger.

Since I’m not entirely heartless, I’ll go with ending world hunger.

3. Never know the feeling of throwing up again.

ROLL TIDE! I’ll take that feeling to see the Tide roll to victory.

4. Win the lottery (I’m talking powerball, not scratch-offs).

I’m old school, like the Tide’s Process this season, so I prefer work ethic and smart business sense to handouts on the road to financial success. I’ll go with Bama.

5. Have Heath Ledger alive again to reprise his role as the Joker. (I stole this one).

Roll Tide! Sorry, Heath Ledger fans.

6. Be assured you would die of old age (not a car crash or painful disease).

I’ll leave it up to the Man Upstairs to decide. Roll Tide.

7. Have your own personal sushi chef to impress your friends and fix you sushi whenever you wanted.

I’m already great cook, so ROLL TIDE!

8. Be friends with me.

You have to be my friend because you married me. ROLL TIDE!

9. Have your favorite television show never get cancelled and always not suck.

Have you watched TV lately? It’s already crappy. ROLL TIDE!

10. Never be too cold or too hot ever again.

ROLL TIDE!

-If your team wins, it is likely they will play for the National Championship. In a dream world, who would you like to be able to say you beat for the National Championship (assuming you don’t have a visceral hatred for Oklahoma)?

Well, this is really easy. In a dream world, we would play Auburn and beat them mercilessly... just like last weekend. However, beating Oklahoma would be nice. We played a #3 Oklahoma team to start the regular season my junior year of college and lost a very close game. It would be pretty sweet to avenge that at a National Championship game.

-How gay is it that Georgia lost to Tech last weekend? I mean really, be honest?

Honestly, it’s awful. I have to listen to you moan about losing. Therefore, I would prefer if Georgia always beat Tech.

-Who do you consider to be your school’s most famous alumni? If you could replace him/her with the celebrity, politician, artist of your choice whom would it be?

I will go with Harper Lee, because I was an English minor. She’s irreplaceable. You can’t beat the Pulitzer Prize winning To Kill a Mockingbird.

Boo Radley approves.

-Early picks for next year, take into account your team’s loss of seniors/early draftees, what will be your team’s record and which bowl will they attend?

I actually thought that next year would be Bama’s year. We’re losing JP-Dubs, but most of our talent is very young. The future looks bright. If we don’t go to the National Championship this year, I think we have a shot again in the next couple of years.

-What will you be drinking as you watch the game on Saturday, any good luck traditions?

I don’t know what I’ll be drinking. As far as good luck traditions, I will get up and run 9 miles. The last time I did that, we beat a team that was projected to win that day. I’m looking at you, Georgia Bulldogs.

-It’s pretty cold outside, eh?

It’s all that global warming.

-In the year 2019 there will be another famous football player become a national embarrassment to his school (Example: Orenthal James Simpson early 90’s to USC), which current NCAA football player do you wish this to be? Why?

I don’t really know. I’ll go with De’Shon Sanders of Texas Tech, given today’s headline. If you can’t keep in line in college, you sure aren’t going to have an easy time in the real world.

____________________________

ALRIGHTY! That wraps up the SECCG Innerviews. I want to thank our lovely guests Fake TT and Mrs. Mackalicious for taking time out of their busy day to take part in my bullcrap blog non-sense. I will say the win goes to Mrs. Mackalicious based soley on her jab at Fake TT for being a UF grad-student studying the effect of "global warming" on sea coral. Sweetie assured me his degree will go a long way toward getting him a job funded by taxpayer dollars somewhere! Hopefully 10 years from now he'll be able to find a good job based on something that actually exists.

That's all for now, I'm gonna get my work wrapped up and then swing by the package store to get all the supplies my wife has requested. Being a die hard Bama fan, she obviously knows more about downing hard liquor than I do, so I'm gonna take her word for it when she requests the ingredients for Russian-Jager Bombs. I never thought about dropping a shot of Jager into a pint of Vodka then dropping the pint of Vodka into a pitcher of beer...and pouring it all into a funnel. But hey, marriage is a journey, even if it takes you through the hard calloused liver of Tuscaloosa!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, SUCKERS!

Oh, final verdict? ROLL TIDE! #$%^ the Gaytors!

BAMA's Back B'yotch!

...and their fans don't want no lip!

This is a cut & paste job from AL.com.

An Escambia County couple died Saturday after an argument over the Alabama/LSU football game ended in shotgun blasts, according to Conecuh County authorities.

District Attorney Tommy Chapman identified the people killed as Dennis and Donna Smith of Appleton Road near Brewton.

The shooting allegedly occurred about 7 p.m. at the home of Michael Williams near the Owassa community in Conecuh County, Chapman said.

Williams was arrested, Chapman said, and charged with two counts of murder.

Dispatchers at the Conecuh County Sheriff's Office declined to comment about the case.

Investigators said witnesses told them that Dennis Smith, an LSU fan, called Williams, a fan of the Crimson Tide, after the game Saturday evening and an argument ensued.

Officers said Donna Smith was a relative of Michael Williams' girlfriend.

Soon, the Smiths arrived at Williams' home and the men wound up in a physical altercation, officers said.

Smith retrieved a pistol from his vehicle, and threatened Williams, who armed himself with a shotgun and fired two blasts, striking and killing Dennis Smith, officers said.

Donna Smith then threatened Williams, who shot and killed the woman, they said.

AND NO STORY IS COMPLETE WITHOUT THE GRANDE FINALE...

Investigators said alcohol was believed to have been a factor in the killings.

I completely understand, after all I received threats from my wife before the Georgia/Alabama game. I just fear what could have happened if UGA won.


(h/t Drudgereport)

Ignorance in the Presence of Greatness

Paul over at the Georgia Sports Blog posted yesterday how Herschel Walker was selling cupcakes in New York. Aside from making me want to catch a plane up to New York for cupcakes, it reminded me of a story, a shameful story, a VERY shameful story.

Imagine, if you will, back to the year 2007. The streets were filled with horseless carriages, gasoline was a mear $3.68/gallon, and the wife and I had just made a long trip to Tuscaloosa, AL to watch the Classic City Canines take on the Alabama Elephants in a match for the ages. After stopping by a local speakeasy to get our fill on bootleg corn whiskey, a Tuscaloosa Teetotaler...okay I gotta stop with this schtick.

We went to Tuscaloosa for the UGA/Bama game and made plans to stay with one of her friends who was still living there. After the game we went to said person's home where we met up with some of my wife's other college friends who were in town for the game. This is where this story takes a foul and disgusting turn.

My wife's friend, for privacy sake we'll just call her "Lydia", had just met up with us at the house. Of course I am the only Georgia fan there and "Lydia" starts talking about the football game we'd just witnessed that ended with a spectacular overtime win for the Dawgs. You see, "Lydia" had been invited to sit in the Ivory Boxes with an old roommate who is very well to do. The conversation is summarized as follows:

"Lydia": Mackie, there was a Georgia fan in the suite with us!

Me: Oh yeah? I hope he was obnoxious to everyone.

"Lydia": Oh no, he was really nice. I sat next to him and we talked for nearly the entire game, he was just a really nice person!

Me: That's great, I'm glad we were well represented.

"Lydia": Yeah, as a matter of fact, I think he said he played for Georgia!

Me: Oh yeah? What was his name?

"Lydia": I don't remember what he said his name was, but he said he played back in the 80's or something like that, I think he was a rushing back?

Me: I think you mean running back, but wow, that's pretty cool.

"Lydia": Yeah, he said he was on their National Championship team and he won a big trophy.

Me: ..."Lydia"...this wasn't Herschel Walker was it?

"Lydia": YEAH, that was his name! You've heard of him?

Me: ...@#$%&^@#$^*@##$%&@$%, DID YOU GET AN AUTOGRAPH OR ANYTHING?!?!? @#$^@&&@$

"Lydia": No I didn't know who he was!

Me: #$%&#@*^@$%%!@#^$%*#$

My Wife: MACKIE, PUT DOWN THE LAMP!

...END SCENE...


Bill Bates made a bad decision in trying to tackle him, but at least he knows who Herschel Walker is.


...sigh.

Picture with 0:51 left in the 4th.

This picture has not been altered, beating the Blackout really does that to your face.

My only satisfaction was gained by yelling "I HOPE YOU RUN OUT OF GAS!" at the Bama masses while we were leaving.

TGIBW

Well, that was a crappy weekend.

It's not that I mind losing, and furthermore it's not that I mind losing to my wife's school. It's that I don't like losing games that we get blown out in the first half. Why? Because the first half is all the media remembers.

This was The Splenda Bowl all over again. No one remembers we lost to West Virginia by 3 points. They just remember Dick Rod's boys having their way with us for 2 straight quarters. The Tide did the same thing and our defense crapped in their silver britches. However, I'm very proud of our fans for sticking around. Sometimes we get a bad wrap for leaving early when times are tough, but whatever happened in the locker room worked and we showed up for the last half. A 31 point deficit is hard to overcome, but we would have done it had we held them scoreless. Then again if "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts I wouldn't be eating this bologna sandwich for lunch...I be eating candy...AND NUTS!

Alabama has a good team, but their team isn't as good as we made them look for the first half. We got out-coached, out-played, and straight up bullied in our own stadium. At least now our boys know we're not invincible and hopefully will play the remainder of the season with a chip on their shoulder. If we run the table on the rest of our schedule (which is NOT what I banked on happening), we'll be back in the title hunt...but now my priority for the Dawgs is winning the East.

Congratulations to Sweetie and the rest of the Alabama fans who made the trip. It's a great feeling to win a big game in what should have been an impossible environment (The Blackout definitely had the fans there, next time if the team would show up it'd be nice, K thnx). I promised my wife we'd stick around until the end of the game regardless of the outcome. She's been a good sport the past 3 UGA/BAMA games, the least I could do was swallow my pride for the proverbial jackhammer to the sack we know as "Rammer Jammer".

As for the black jerseys, I have mixed feelings as to their future. Coach Richt wouldn't make a comment regarding what to do with them, but I know stuff like that dies hard in the SEC. Again, I like what it does for the fanbase, but if the players don't understand the concept of "we'll do our part, you do yours" the whole atmosphere concept is bunk.

All hard feelings aside, I had fun last weekend (and if I keep telling myself that I might begin to believe it). The tailgating was awesome and hearing Florida lose via the cheers coming across Williams Street from The Blind Pig Tavern was heaven on Earth. It was a tough week for the top 10, but the AP & Coaches polls were extremely kind to us. If I had known the worst case scenario was sitting at #11 after a loss I would have felt better Saturday night on the ride home. But we've got a loss under our belt, and it's time to hunker down for the long road ahead.

Go Dawgs, and 1000 Bloody Marys to the Crimson Tide. My only request is that you do the same thing to Auburn & Tennessee and hopefully we'll get another shot at you in December.

Tailgating Pantsless

The Alicious household has established it's plans for tailgating tomorrow. We'll be leaving Marietta, GA around 1-ish tomorrow with hopes of arriving at the Williams Street permit lot around 3pm. Feel free to swing by and say hey, I'll be the one wearing black.

...seriously though, we'll be in a blue F-150 (with a grill guard) that has a Georgia flag on the drivers-side window and an Alabama flag on the passengers-side window. We'll have a grill around back and 2 red chairs. Sweetie will have a knife, so don't bark at her (I made that mistake once and now when we decide to have children they will either be all girls or all boys...the doctors don't know which testicle was salvaged).

We'll be there until an hour or so before gametime because we've got to meet up with some other friends at a fraternity house beforehand.

There likely won't be much posting action today because I want to tie up a few loose ends at work before I call it a day. That being said, I was completely clueless that USC got taco-popped by Oregon State until 8am this morning. Epic Fail, Zach Morris. That might make me the most ill-informed college football blogger out there, ouch!

UPDATE: Due to the gas crunch we might be in my truck or in my buddy's truck, don't know yet. Either way if you're swinging by look for the flags mentioned above. Also, hollering out "MACKIE" will get my attention.

Macknac the Magnificent: BAMA Edition

Come in, my child, have a seat. I hope you brought some Wetnaps because I'm about to blow your mind all over the computer screen. I have here in my hand 3 envelopes with questions regarding this weekend's opponent and SEC rival, the Alabama Crimson Tide. I will use my psychic abilities to answer the questions before I open said envelope; and in turn will wow and amaze all you fine readers. Lets get started shall we?

Envelope #1 (holds to head)

Macknac: ...and the answer is, "Zero of the last Three".

Ed: ZERO of the last THREE Heh, Heh, Haaaaahhhh!

Macknac: ...thank you Ed McMahon.

Ed: ...YES SIR!

Macknac: (opens envelope) the question...How many of the past 3 hair plug operations have been successful enough for Nick Saban to fool people?

Ed: Heh, Heh, Haaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!! ZERO!!!

Macknac: (looks at Ed blankly) ...right, that's what I said, thank you Ed.

Ed: YES SIR!


Envelope #2 (holds to head)

Macknac: ...and the answer is, "Alabama Blackout"

Ed: Ala-Bama Blackout, Heh, Heh, Heeeehhhhh.

Macknac: (opens envelope) the question...What happens when Bama Defensive Tackle Terrence Cody stands in front of the Sun?

Ed: HAH HAH...YEEEESSSS SIIIIIRRRRRRR!!!!


Envelope #3 (holds to head)

Macknac: ...and the answer is, "Gene Stallings"

Ed: Gene Stallings, Heh, Heh, Haaaaaaa.

Macknac: (opens envelope) the question...What is the molecular explanation to Alabama's lack of athletic ability?

Ed: ...HEYOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1

{audience goes wild with applause, curtain draws}

Just a thought...

If Matthew Stafford was a class act he'd request Wallace Gilberry send flowers to Larry Munson this year instead. But like I said, that's just a thought.

(because honestly, last year Gilberry got as close to Larry Munson as he did Matthew Stafford)

Terrence Cody

Terrence Cody (pictured w/o helmet) can only elicit the following responses from everyday "normal-sized" people.

Blast Bama Week

This is what life is like when you're a Georgia fan married to an Alabama fan.

The folded white shirts are her Bama Homecoming t-shirts...the other ones (not folded) in the foreground are mine.



Oh this is cute, all my Georgia decor is knocked over...funny.



Alright, this has gone too far, Guitar Hero isn't even related to football.

...dude.

Things I think are B.S.

The Georgia Sports Blog is the world-wide leader in all things UGA for a reason.

1. They're wearing black because they're going to a mother f---ing funeral!

Always remember how lucky you are to have a coaching staff with class. As a commentor on another blog put it, if you're wearing black to a funeral, you're not the one who's dead.

2. It's hard to score a goalline touchdown when Arizona State has more people on the field than you do...nice job Pac-10 refs. Just remember to keep calling your "Leaping" penalties and you'll be fine.

Blast Bama Week

Some of you may know I'm married to a graduate of Alabama University, this week could get ugly.

OJ: "Mama, I'm heading to Tuscaloosa! They don't look for Heisman winners there!"