Close the book.

That's it folks. The 2011 football season is officially over. Congratulations to my team-in-law on their 14th National Championship, @Olivethetweets was ecstatic last night and I was happy for her (regardless of how much gloating she did...and YES Sweetheart, calling the Dawgs "the Cubs of the SEC" is gloating no matter how kind-hearted your intent was).

But that brings me to my next point, one thing I REALLY was not looking forward to is our fanbase today. Almost as much as I dreaded reading about us after the Outback Bowl. Be it on Twitter or some of the blogs I read, I just know somebody is going to compare our current state to that of Alabama football. It's not that I can't handle reality, because I can. I can admit that Alabama and LSU are both programs much better than ours. What I can't stomach is our fanbase. Yes, our fanbase.

I love a good 90% of you guys. But the remaining 10% lack a fundamental understanding of...well...understanding.

Every fanbase has it, but lately I just get fed up with hearing the whining and bitching that we aren't Alabama, or we aren't LSU...can you not be happy just being Georgia?! College Football is cyclical and here is how I see it following our last 10 win season in 2008:

2009 - New QB leadership (Joe Cox). No Stafford. No Knowshon. Lots of NFL talent lost following previous season. Willie's last year as DC.

2010 - New Freshman QB. New defensive staff working with players they didn't recruit. OUR RUNNING BACKS WERE CALEB KING, RICHARD SAMUEL, AND WASHAUN EALEY.

I'm making a lot of excuses, but when your cogs and personnel turnover happen at the rate it happened for us over the past 3 years...then YEAH expect a dip in quality for your program.

2011 - Started out like crap. Lost to the 2 toughest opponents on our schedule right out of the gates, but we saw a few signs of hope. When was the last time you had an ounce of faith in your defense? Did you see the season Jarvis Jones had? We watched Malcolm Mitchell become our next big passing threat. And our fans who want to bitch about Isaiah Crowell not playing on an injured ankle which NONE OF YOU, NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU WITH A "source" IN THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT OR A FRIEND WHO HEARD SOMETHING knows the extent of pain he felt trying to turn on a dime while carrying nearly half of our team's rushing yardage.

Getting suspended for smoking weed? "Yeah, what an idiot" says the guy in Law School who took a year off to follow Widespread Panic. Crowell has a ton of talent, and probably an attitude to match it, but we stuck a ton of pressure on an 18 year old kid and he performed well when able. Cut him some slack.

Remember the difficult time we had recruiting when these superstar high school athletes wanted playing time instead of earning reps behind AJ Green? Well, they went to other schools and some of these other schools are performing with them. But with a couple of down years, now it's UGA's turn to recruit high profile talent who can come in and make an instant impact. Last year's Dream Team did a helluva job for a bunch of young guys. I'm pretty pumped about the prospect of guys like John Theus, Jordan Jenkins (whom I just found out about this morning), and Keith Marshall (Isaiah Crowell is gonna grow up REAL FAST this off season).

We've got a defense that will return a lot of guys, really hoping Bacarri comes back for what could be an awesome year. The biggest names we lose offensively are Ben Jones (which will hurt) and with a little luck Orson Charles sticks around (which my insider source in the athletic department heard from a friend of a friend that he will).

This is Mackie being honest. Take a step back from the ledge. UGA football is not in a downward spiral following a 10 win season where we won the East with a bunch of young guys. In watching my wife's excitement last night searching out Bear Bryant quotes to post, it made me think. The Bear is without a doubt in my mind the absolute best coach in the history of the game. Mark Richt will probably never be Bear Bryant, but there was time in college football where patience paid off.

1967 - 8-2-1 (73%)
1968 - 8-3-0 (73%)
1969 - 6-5-0 (55%)
1970 - 6-5-1 (50%)

That's Alabama football, correction, that's Bear Bryant football in a 4 year stretch between some of their program's most storied seasons.

The game has changed, I'm well aware. Every fanbase expects a new coach to win immediately (see our jort-wearing neighbors to the south). But it's a cycle and as long as you aren't in the lower echelon of the SEC you'll have your time to shine in the national spotlight. Eventually Tennessee will be Tennessee again, eventually South Carolina will be South Carolina again. When my wife and I were still dating, I saw some pretty awful Alabama football games. Since my wife and I have been married, she's seen some pretty awful UGA football games. And now that we're expecting our first child there is a pretty good chance he or she will see some pretty good and pretty awful games in their lifetime.
(...still looking for one of these)

I've always been a patient person, sometimes too patient. It probably doesn't help that I'm turning into this worthless ball of emotion when I see a sonogram of my baby. I might be going soft when it comes to taking a stand against what is acceptable from UGA Football, but when I put it into perspective I like what I see, no matter how frustrating it can be sometimes. I'm happy we went for it on 4th and 1 in Michigan State territory last week. You know why? Because we didn't go for it on 4th and 1 in Central Florida territory last year. We wanted Mark Richt to take more chances this year and he did. On-side kicks against South Carolina and LSU were huge (yes even though the USC one was overturned on a crap call) but if you're willing to take the good when it happens, then suck it up and take the bad too.

Mark Richt is not Nick Saban, but Nick Saban isn't Mark Richt either.

2012 can be something special for the Dawgs. Stop bitching and get on the bus.

Go Dawgs.

It's Gameday!

...and because ESPN won't change the damned theme song back, I will.



Georgia loves Bubba Sparxxx. GO DAWGS!

Good News

Just saw this at Get the Picture, T-Mo is out! The only thing I don't understand is why the AJC offered him a buyout?!?!

Terence Moore is the author of such great fictitious articles as:

-Why aren't there more black coaches in the NCAA?
-Why do the Braves not have any black players?
-Why do the Thrashers not have any black players?
-Why do the Hawks have a white player?

...as quoted by the AJC, he will be ending a "stellar 24 years" as a sports writer.

In other news, after a large Mexican dinner the other night my stomach hurt so I went to the restroom and dropped a huge "stellar".

I say, good riddence.

The Little Things

Busy day at work this morning, but it already had a bad start.

We don't have "personal parking spaces" at work, but I park in the exact same place everyday...the word "RESERVED" is even painted in front of it. Yet officially anyone can park there if the need arose.

Someone was in my place this morning...

This is a picture of my car in it's proper place.


I have diagramed below where I am parked this morning due to the inconvenience.


Though similar to something Bill Lumbergh would do, its still different. I only parked in the slashed paint area next to my usual spot not in a handicap space. That would be rude...and I think enough offensive actions have been taken today, I will take the high road.

Lets hope the day gets better.

Monday Quick Hits

After an awesome weekend of laying in a hammock and going to a hockey game (with the longest man-to-man fight I've ever seen, the AJC clocked it at around 2:00 minutes) it's time to get back to work.

I'm assuming GoDaddy let this domain name register at a premium. I'm still looking to purchase www.iwaspistolwhippedbyJeriSpurrier.com

The OBC golfs to escape the domination.

Coach Mark Richt was asked about an 0-4 skid on NSD before eventually signing Marlon Brown. Coach claimed that keeping score with recruits was "kind of nutty". Out in Los Angeles Pete Carroll caught wind of that statement and jokingly asked if "Mark would be disciplining his players like Ward Cleaver handled the Beaver's hijinx". Coach Richt responded that any player who violates team policy will endure a stern talking to, then taken out to Floyd's Barbershop for a shave & trim just to let him know he's not mad at THEM, just their behavior.

file photo from the Donovan Baldwin aftermath last year

...to this Lane Kiffin threatened NCAA sanctions.

Weekend thoughts

Things are finally starting to soak in, football season is essentially over (in regards to the stuff I really care about). My fix will now have to be strung out over recruiting news and draft decisions. As I've said before I assume 24 and 7 to be stackin' cheese next year, but a little part of me deep down wonders how awesome it would be for one (or both) of them to say "Screw the Pros, I can play in Detroit or Oakland next year but right now I'm gonna become a legend in Athens, GA." (cue John Cafferty's "Hearts on Fire")


Either way, I'm not holding my breath, but if they show their loyalty I'll buy their NFL jersey in 2010 as show of mine.

Also, I didn't watch the Sugar Bowl in realtime. I was actually at the Thrashers / Canucks game that night and I set the DVR to record it. The hockey game was great and apparently 2 guys had unfinished business before the puck was dropped. Once the ref started the game these guys were dropping gloves and going to town...ahh the joy of hockey in 5 minute penalties, is there anything better?

After Atlanta won in an overtime shootout we avoided all contact with radio and television to make it home and start the game from the beginning...and it was all downhill from there for Saban's Elephants. Their offensive line looked like is was comprised of 5 Mackalicious's trying to ward off a defense who wanted to smell John Parker Wilson's hairspray.

To help my wife get over the loss of her team, we decided we'd go to a movie on Saturday. So we went to go see the best feel-good movie since The Notebook, that's right, Marley & Me. If you thought Old Yellar was a hilarious romp, you'll LOVE Marley & Me. Needless to say my wife had to talk me off the balcony by bribing me with Swedish Fish and Reese's Pieces.

I was pleased to learn UGA landed Branden Smith (verbally) over the weekend. He's a monstrous DB and hopefully he'll turn into an all-around football machine like Champ Bailey was. That would require his potential be full filled with competent coaching though, that's what we'll have to trouble shoot during the off season.

I'm glad UGA's season ended on a high-note. The only good thing I can imagine about football season ending is hopefully Tebow declared himself eligible for the CFL's running back draft so he can get the hell off my television with that stupid-ass clip of him walking angrily up and down the sideline with field paint smeared all over his face. If my math serves me correctly
Tim Tebow + Angry Eyes + Field Paint = "OMG TTbow is teh futball Gawd Obamaxorz OMGZ!!!1"

Lord, please let him go pro...and not in Atlanta.

...good Lord, Pam.

For anyone who is watching the Independence Bowl, hopefully you saw how handsome Pam Ward looked in the broadcast booth. Apparently George Zimmer gave her the finest suit Men's Warehouse had to offer.

...hottie.

Bowl Projections

I recently checked ESPN's Bowl Projections and I saw UGA is no longer projected to play Ohio State in the What's In Your Wallet Bowl. Yes we are still a likely candidate for Capital One's Bowl game, but we're actually paired with Michigan State according to Mark Schlabach and Bruce Feldman.

If we had beaten Tech, I would say I'm disappointed in this match-up because Ohio State is by far a much larger marquee brand of football. Unfortunately we were unable to win a football game against the ACC by scoring 42 points which means we obviously don't have our act together. As sucky as it was to lose to Tech this year, it would have been equally as embarrassing for UGA's name to be shown as a statistic everytime Ohio State weaseled their way into a National Championship game against an SEC opponent (That name would have appeared under the only win against our conference).

Could Georgia beat Ohio State? I think we could, but I wouldn't want to test it this year. I have a lackluster confidence in our defense after losing to a much lesser Georgia Tech team running a gimmicky offense. Call me a pessimist, but I think a Michigan State match-up would be much more beneficial to our ability to salvage a quality end to this season. I know this is a crappy attitude to have as a Dawg fan, but like Santa told the know-it-all kid from The Polar Express last night on the Family Channel, "A little humility would serve you well". (btw that kid had the same voice as Mandark from Dexter's Laboratory if I remember correctly)

The humility line was initially meant for all you Tech nerds, I'm using it in another context.

But as you can tell, since ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas is still showing strong in my household I'm obviously not over the Tech loss so it could be the sorrow speaking.

In other news I do want to wish Tech the worst of luck at the Peach Bowl...and yes it is still the Peach Bowl no matter who sponsors it. I'd be lying if I told you I think it's a crappy bowl game because to be honest, anything not in Boise, Idaho is a step in the right direction for the North Avenue Nerds. Plus, when UGA played Virginia Tech there 3 years ago it was the setting for one of Matthew Stafford's most impressive comeback wins.

Finally, I wanted to mourn the loss of a true Atlanta food legend. James Paschal who opened Paschal's Restaurant passed away at 88. Many people know Paschal's as being the restaurant that fed those who fought in the Civil Rights Movement. Being that I'm neither 60 years old, black, or racist; I only remember a different Paschal's location as being the only place worth eating at when I was on my lunch breaks when I worked at Hartsfield years ago. Soul food at it's finest, even when served in an airport terminus. God speed, James Paschal...God speed.

I hope you're serving this in Heaven's airport.

Real Quick

I know I've been hard on Georgia the last few weeks, but I think we all can agree how frustrating the last half of this year has been. Seeing extremely talented players underperform can be quite disheartening. I think it's great a few of our starters might leave for the NFL having never lost to ABUURN, lets just hope they do the same to Tech in a couple of weeks.

That being said, we all know I'm one of Willie Martinez' smallest fans. I don't think he's getting the job done motivationally or schematically and I think Georgia is due a change of defensive personel. Also, I'm one of the rare people who wants Willie gone and DOESN'T want Brian Van Gorder back. I'll admit BVG is more like the person I want coaching out defense, but if anyone watched the second half of the Falcons game yesterday you'd know BVG's boys weren't getting the job done against a team we could and should have beaten. We need someone with the exact same blood pressure reading and a solid understanding of adjusting sets with our defense packages.

The Dave Trifecta on Raycom last Saturday could talk about what a great defensive battle it was...but I ain't buyin' it. Georgia's defense made Kodi Burns look competent, that is unacceptable. Somebody, ANYBODY needs to step in over the bye week and figure out what is going on. Special teams, Defense, and red zone Offense are all teh suxorz. I'm not paid to be a coach (and if I was you'd finally get Coach Richt to admit firing someone is the right thing to do) but I'm a concerned fan who bleeds red & black and doesn't really know what to make of this year. We just as easily could be 6-5 right now but regardless of the unlucky breaks we've received, we got the lucky ones right when we needed them.

Tough schedule or not, we've got to finish the friggin' drill. Yeah we've been on the road for the last month, but we get one more shot at impressing a home crowd November 29th. If it was next weekend I don't think we'd win, fortunately the thugs from Miami get to rough up the North Avenue Nerds before the last regular season game.

Go Dawgs, and for cryin' out loud GATA!

The State of Politics in Tennessee

Dear Tennessee:

Stop being crazy. Perhaps the fact it's a down year for the Vols has you turning your attention to politics, but please stop. Perhaps your governor could do a broadcast letting you know guerrilla campaigning of the Tennessee nature isn't really effective for either candidate. At the moment we've got...

-Sarah Palin's email hacker.

-Crazy girl who carved a "B" into her face and claimed a black guy did it.

-White supremacists who plot to assassinate Obama.

This isn't a political blog, but I am seeing a strange trend growing from our neighbors to the north. I'm just ready for the elections to be over nationally AND locally. I can only hear about how Jim Martin kills children and Saxby Chambliss is a tree with the roots of all evil so many time.

But now back to something we can all agree on!

How to reply to LSU heckling...

LSU Fan: EEEEY BOODAWG! NIZE ROUGE PAINTS! HAW HAW HAW!

Approved Blogging Pantsless responses...

#1.

UGA Fan: Nice fat guy dance moves.

#2.
UGA Fan: Come on Beaux, we goin' to DA game, you can bring your purple hat!



(and by the way, red pants ain't got nothing on #2 from the left's LSU pattern prints)


#3.
UGA Fan: Nice...ugh...paint job!
(photo from RJYH)

#4.
UGA Fan: Nice face!


#5.
UGA Fan: Nice life!


#6.
UGA Fan: Nice college town!


#7.
UGA Fan: ...What?!? I can't understand you! SPEAK ENGLISH!

(With all due respect, Justin Wilson was the man as far as chefs go. I remember watching his cooking shows when I was a kid on GPTV just because I thought his accent was hilarious. I doubt he would have made it on the Food Network in today's world, I hear they look down on eating squirrel.)

Blast Bama Week

This is what life is like when you're a Georgia fan married to an Alabama fan.

The folded white shirts are her Bama Homecoming t-shirts...the other ones (not folded) in the foreground are mine.



Oh this is cute, all my Georgia decor is knocked over...funny.



Alright, this has gone too far, Guitar Hero isn't even related to football.

...dude.

What the Hell!?!

I haven't bought a bottle of coke in a while. They've changed their bottle caps and I can't get a grip on the dang thing to twist it off. I had to have a girl in my office open it for me. The new caps aren't even a 1/2" tall which is WAY smaller and on top of that it doesn't have the little notches around it to get a grip!

Yes or No: I'm a numb-nuts for not being able to open the new Coke bottles?

A Dialogue Between Olympic Athlete Tyson Gay and NBC Commentators

NBC Booth: "These false starts are really going to be straining Tyson's hamstrings which we've just finished presenting you a 15 minute backstory on how hurt his hamstrings are. Luckily the second start is quality, Gay seems to be in fifth place, it really must be due to that hamstring. (8 seconds later) And that's the end of the heat, lets go down on the track to speak with Tyson Gay, who just ran through some obvious hamstring pain to finish 5th in the qualifier which eliminates his chance of running for a metal."

NBC: "Thanks Tom, I'm down here with Tyson Gay. Tyson, great run my friend, how did that hamstring treat you?"

Gay: "Hamstring?!? Oh, the hamstring is fine. I just wasn't able to get it done today. "

NBC: "Yeah, I'm sure that false start didn't help it either. Tyson, we know the Jamaicans are fast, with your hamstring hurting you what will your plan of attack be in future races?"

Gay: "You serious? Uh, well...if my hamstring were to start hurting me anytime soon, I guess I'd just have to take it easy until race time, keep it loose, you know."

NBC: "Yeah, you'd better keep some ice on it too! Tyson, when you're running as hard as you can to the finish, and you feel the pain of your hamstring tightening up. What runs through your mind? Do you fear any permanent injury to it?"

Gay: "Look man, I don't know where you got the idea that I was running with a hurt hamstring, but I'm not injured. I'm feeling great! I just wasn't as fast as the Jamaican today."

NBC: "I'm afraid I can't let you say that, Dave."

Gay: "Dave??!? Look man, I don't know what's going on here but my hamstring isn't hurting me, listen to me when I say, I'm 100%. Bottom line, I'm not hurt, I just didn't run well during the heat. My legs are fine, no hamstring problems. I'm going to walk away now, thanks." (walks away)


















NBC: "Alright, thanks again Tyson. Clearly not making any excuses for his performace. But it is more than obvious his hamstring prevented him from making the cut at this heat. Hopefully he'll get his trainer to take a look at it and keep him healthy for the next race. Now on to our next 15 minutes backstory feature on Dara Torres' daily calcium supplement regimen, Tom."

ugh...

Continuing my quest to title my posts today with "reaction words", I bring you a quick lunch-time story.

I brought my lunch to work today as I do most days. But today I just wasn't feelin' it. So I make my way over to the Checkers down the street from my warehouse. As I'm in my truck at the window receiving my order I see a big fat lady waddle up to the walk-up window and proceed to scream her order into the building.

The thing that got me was the fact she ordered "A NUMBER SIX COMBO UPSIZED WITH A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE, WITH EXTRA TARTER SAUCE ON THE FISH SANDWICH AND 2 APPLE PIES".


...and I'm sure it looked just like this.

I will admit I find excessively obese people who indulge themselves slightly gross, but ordering the fish sandwich at a fast food restaurant might be the closest thing to telling someone "you know what? surprise me!" when you order. Because fish sandwiches are the equivalent of eating fried fish particle-board. Then to top it off with extra tarter sauce just makes my stomach turn...ugh, disgusting.

To tell both sides of the story I did order 2 Checkerburgers, a medium order of fries and a milkshake which isn't much healthier. BUT, I weight 155 lbs and I'm 6'4" and I've eaten like a pig my whole life which means 1 of 2 things.
#1 My wife hates the very air I breathe when I tell people I don't gain weight, because she thinks she fat even though she's skinnier than I am.
#2 I have better metabolism than Otis Nixon after just snorting 2 bumps of cocaine through a tampon applicator...which just like Otis' career in baseball will eventually fade away and I'll end up looking like the pregnant man who wasn't really a man at all, no matter what Oprah told you.


Guess what America? I just got away with putting a picture of a topless woman on my blog AND you're wife won't care that you're looking! Thank me later, preferably when you finish vomiting.

That pretty much sums up my rant. Now to really man this post up a little bit here's a picture of a guy trying to light his fart and the Jackyl music video for their song Lumberjack (which includes a chainsaw solo). Enjoy, my fellow man!




I don't know about you, but my chest hair just got a little thicker watching that.

Who ordered the bullcrap?!?

I saw this on Yahoo and it caught my attention. As I'd mentioned in the comments section of the Tattoo post yesterday I think Dark Side of the Moon might be the best album ever, not because I'm biased, but because it sold a crap load, it holds the record for staying in the top 100 albums sales charts longest, it has only one song that you don't hear on the radio to this day (Great Gig in the Sky), and it was the kick start to Pink Floyd's concept album run.

Anyway, the nutsack who does music reviews at Yahoo came up with some mythical BCS-esq formula to rank the all-time albums.

Darkside was #2...behind Stevie Wonder's, Songs in the Key of Life, as #1.

Perhaps I'm a little out of bounds here, but come on...Stevie Wonder?!? I don't even think he saw that coming...what?...it's my blog I can make blind jokes if I want!

Anyway, I thought that was pretty gay. You can check out the entire list here.

Other beefs include The Eagles: Hotel California being in the top 10 (at number 8), George Michael: Faith being in the top 20 (at number 20), and a very one-sided opinion of my own thinking 1984 is a better Van Halen album than their self-titled debut...but that last one is a pretty weak argument on my end.



Van Halen 1's Hit Songs:
-Runnin' with the Devil
-Eruption/You Really Got Me
-Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love
-Jamie's Cryin'
-Ice Cream Man (hey, if you hear it on the radio in 2008, it's a hit)



1984's Hit Songs:
-Jump
-Panama
-Drop Dead Legs
-Hot for FRIGGIN' Teacher
(which without a doubt had the best music video of the 80's)
-I'll Wait

Going head to head I declare 1984 the superior album!

I'm sure everytime one of these bullcrap top _____ of all-time lists gets published everyone goes on a rampage, but to claim a formula and do it is WEAK! I'm sure Big Phil is complaining that Joshua Tree isn't higher-up because he likes U2. I'm sure Auburn fans are complaining that Poison didn't make the list because they are stuck in 1988. I'm sure Gayman is complaining that George Michael isn't higher-up because he's gay. And I'm sure my wife is complaining the Beatles aren't higher-up because she's classy like that. Anyway, I've wasted your time voicing my opinion, feel free to waste mine by posting yours in the comments section.