A Brush With Obesity

So today I had this "great" idea.

Monday, April 12th marked the official unveiling of the KFC dream sandwich, The Double Down. Also, I've lived in the Marietta area most of my life and not once have I ever actually eaten at The Big Chicken (Its been one of those places I drive by but never actually stop...in Auburn, AL they call this "church"). The stars aligned and it only made sense to kill two birds with one stone.

Follow me as I take you on a trip down dietary Hell.

There she is, rising like a Phoenix from the Arizona.

Hmmm...I should probably go ahead and tell you I can count my total trips to KFC in the last decade on Lance Armstrong's testicles.

I am officially the proud owner of 1 KFC Double Down "sandwich".


So here it is. A bacon & cheese sandwich held together by 2 fried chicken "buns".

...NOM

...NOM NOM

...NOM NOM NOM

FINAL VERDICT:
Patton Oswalt once referred to KFC's Famous Bowl's as "Failure Bowls". I will hereby refer to this beast as a Failure Sandwich. Why? Because I feel like Hell right now. The damned thing was salty, heavy, and 100% vegetable free...unless the USDA convinced you that condiments are a vegetable, then you got your daily serving of Colonel's Sauce. Seriously would it have killed you to put a tomato or a pickle on this thing?!?

I'm not a health-nut by any stretch of the imagination. I can't eat my wife's Kashi cereal without wanting to empty the hole-punch into the bowl to give it some taste. But if you find yourself able to eat one of these on a regular basis, chances are you either have a Dale Earnhardt tattoo or are wearing an over-sized Tweetie Bird t-shirt. Diabetes are in your not-too-distant future and your long hair compliments your red neck.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go fix myself a Lipitor and Maker's Mark...then call it a night.

Not sports related...

...unless you consider eating a sport!

(I sweat when I eat so it's technically exercise...right?)

Entertain my rant for a moment, but I've got a craving for something that isn't served in the United States.

Long story short, over in Europe (and maybe elsewhere but I've only seen them in France and Italy) the McDonalds there serve a unique breakfast thingy. It's similar to the top of a chocolate chip muffin filled with chocolate and it's awesome. I believe it's called a "Mandise" overseas which loosely translates to "OMFG YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!" in English.

Here is a picture I was able to track down through McDonald's French website...
(click for grande)

If you're asking yourself why would he eat at McDonalds when he's overseas...well the answer is simple. I went to France first and just like the French people, their food sucks. I found a McDonalds and that's when I discovered the Mandise. Last year when the wife and I went to Italy I was able to track one down again because they make a great breakfast compared to the cold-cuts and cheese being served at the hotel.

Anyway, if any of you guys work at McDonald's and can convince someone to add these to the U.S. breakfast menu I will eat nothing but these for breakfast for a month just to prove my loyalty. Make it happen.

Life on the Beach

I'll readily admit something, I'm not a huge Jimmy Buffett fan. I like several of his songs, but I'm by no means a Parrot Head. There is something wrong with a grown-man wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops, drunkenly dancing around Lakewood listening to music about life on the sea...when you're at LAKEWOOD! Even worse are the women who readily lift their shirts to these goons. Chances are these women are hearkening back to life 20-30 years ago when their boobs didn't look like a tennis ball in a tube-sock.

Anyway, my point being I just got back from 4 days at Tybee Island and my radio was mostly glued to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville station on XM. That seems to be the only time I'm patient enough to listen to Jimmy's B-Sides and not mind. Chillaxin on the beach with beer in hand...nothing else like it.

I ate my weight in shellfish and ceremoniously downed my share of raw oysters at Uncle Bubba's.
Where else but at the beach would anyone feel perfectly comfortable eating something that looks like this?

It was tough to leave, but I take solace in knowing the only way to sustain that type of life would be to constantly deal with Hurricanes, Tourists, Sand Gnats (not the baseball team), D-Bag Spring Breakers, and the lack of a decent BBQ restaurant. Also, the wife and I noticed there never seems to be a shortage of glassy-eyed, sun-burned, rednecks (redundant?) drunkenly swearing up a storm and hollering at the women they rode in on. I'm used to this in the Gulf, but I expected a little less around the Atlantic...my mistake.

Back to work and the daily grind, lots to catch-up with so light posting this week...but seriously would you expect anything else?!? It's May for Pete's sake!

On the Road

I'm about to head out for the day. I'm running a project in Milledgeville and it's a good 2 hour drive away. Anyone familiar with the area I would definitely love a good lunch suggestion. I love BBQ, hotdogs, and hamburgers so let me hear it!

Large Hill Cody

...Terrance is going the wrong way!

COACH SABAN, I CAN HAS?!?

I warned you.

It's time to start scraping the bottom of my creative barrel.

SEC East Headcoaches as fastfood restaurants.

#1. Coach Steven Spurrier

This one is quite possibly the most obvious of the pack. Spurrier is McDonalds because he's old as hell and only poor people like him.


#2. Coach Mark Richt

Coach Richt would most likely be Chick-Fil-A. Good quality and a solid Christian foundation, sound familiar? Also, whether you want to admit it or not (as far as fast-food goes) your wife finds him delicious.


#3. Coach Bobby Johnson

Bobby Johnson will be represented by Arbys. Slightly more class than other restaurants, and the Vanderbilt faithful can use their ascots to wipe the extra horsey sauce off their chin. You never really pay much attention to Arbys until you take in too much and it rips you a new one. Then you try to forget the experience until a few years down the road it happens again.


#4. Coach Lane Bryant...I mean Kiffin...Kiffin.

New Tennessee coach, Lane Kiffin will be represented by Fatburger. Fatburger is a relatively new burger franchise from California who thinks it is ready to take on the bigboy burger chains but has yet to establish anything in Tennessee. No seriously they don't have any locations in Tennessee and have failed to dominate any of the surrounding Southeast states so far...hmm...interesting.


#5. Coach Rich Brooks

Coach Brooks will be represented by Cracker Barrel. While not technically fast food, is Kentucky even technically a football school?!? Anyway, Coach Brooks is old, crotchety, and loves a good veggie plate. He eats dinner at 4:00pm anyways so give me one good reason why he shouldn't be Cracker Barrel.


#6. Corch Irvin Meyers

I was really hoping to find a San Fransisco based Queer Burger or something to that effect but no such luck. Instead Corch Meyers will be represented by Five Guys. Those little burger joints that have been popping up and dominating the state of Georgia for the past few years??? That's Five Guys. You better take notice Chick-Fil-A, we're in an all out war here and it's time to get back on track! The more Five Guys start popping up around here the more highschool phenoms are going to get sucked into their glitz and glamour! Sure you only order a small fry but after they've got your to-go order ready they put A WHOLE 'NOTHER ADDITIONAL SCOOP OF FRIES IN THE BAG TO FILL SPACE!!! What the crap kind of trick is this?!?! It's time to wake up kids! Don't you see what this man is doing will leave you with nothing more than a knowledge of Spread Offense and a gigantic muffintop?!? If nothing else newspaper clippings of self-praise will adorn the walls of your building and any horse$h*t speeches you make will be immortalized in plaques for others to see how great you think you are. Meanwhile I swear I'm gonna be pissed if this crap doesn't turn around soon. I hate you Corch Meyers, I hate you.


...alrighty!

Tune in next time for the SEC West coaches! If you completely disagree with my analysis of headcoaches please feel free to let me know which restaurant you believe better coincides with said coach. Otherwise, take this as the gospel and never dispute it.

Oh. Hells. Yes.

The Hamburger Bed

...sign me up.

Five Hour Energy and Sickness

I just want to go on the record and say Five Hour Energy is an incredible invention.



Free advertising from me is the equivalent of an endorsement, but I might not have made it through work Wednesday without this stuff. Following the AC/DC concert I couldn't hear a thing, and I stumbled into the house after midnight (wearing horns) fully prepared to hop into bed. Mrs. Mackalicious was on her game telling me to "Take those stupid horns off" and "Lord, you stink". So I went to bed, and shut my eyes for what seemed like 10-15 seconds and then my alarm went off...and I had to drag my sorry @$$ outta bed.

Work was hell, I had projects to do and wasn't in the mood to do anything but sleep. A mute reminder I'm not in college anymore where I could rock and roll all night and party ev-er-y-day. The concert was awesome and the 50-60 year old guys on stage were rocking like they weren't a day over 25. My problem is I felt like a 50-60 year old and I couldn't sleep it off. So I went to the gas station down the street and picked up a 5 Hour Energy.

If you've never had this stuff it tastes awful, but its only a shot-worth so you can down it quickly. This stuff is 1000% B Vitamins and gives you a boost within 2 minutes. The best part is, unlike Red Bull or Cocaine there isn't a harsh crash when everythings done working. I was right as rain for the rest of the day and got everything I needed done wrapped up.

I guess the only downside was it was mostly vitamin B and not vitamin C because I think I picked up a bug or something at some point. Now I've got lungs full of mucus and can't take a deep breath without coughing up slugs...ugh. Hopefully I can pull another miracle recovery as I did earlier this year when I tried to drink a gallon of OJ in one day while sickly, then 3 days later I was a champ again.

Either way, sorry to be gross but that's why posting has been so infrequent. My original assumption was my sickness was due to football withdrawal...but we all know that's more of a gastro-intestinal thing not so much respiratory. Oh well.

Have a great weekend and enjoy the craptacular bowl games. There really isn't much worth writing about for any of them...that's how awful they will be. But you know we'll still watch them anyway (/sigh).

A Brief Lesson on Peppers

There are 3 things I do well in life...

1. Hold my liquor.




2. Outdoor grilling (be it ribs, steaks, or ice cream...I can grill them all to perfection).

3. Jambalaya.

(no photo available, reduces risk of secret recipe being stolen)

This year for the SEC Championship Game we had a few friends over and I thought I'd make my world famous recipe for Jambalaya. There is nothing like a warm bowl of stewed cajun yumminess to warm the soul on a chilly day. I figured the recipe tasted good enough, I'd add a little bit to help it look more presentable with larger chunks.

The recipe is moderately spicy and aside from the little dash of red pepper, there isn't really anything else to add spice. As I perused the aisle of my local grocer looking for cool stuff to throw in, I ran across the produce section with a wide selection of fresh peppers.

Eventually I figured if I threw in a couple of these pretty little yellowish/orange colored peppers I found, they'd look really cool floating around in the stew.

I have very little knowledge about peppers. I know Habaneros are a NO-NO, I know Jalapenos are awesome on cheeseburgers, and I know the long skinny red one that comes with my chinese food is damn near inedible.

So these little bitty yellowish/orange peppers (called Scotch Bonnet peppers) were no larger than a golf ball, and I'd always assumed as long as they were yellow they were pretty mild. Long story short, when it came time to throw everything in the pot, I cut these bad boys length-wise and tossed 'em in.

They looked a lot like this.

To put how incredibly frickin' holy hell hot the jambalaya turned out can only be best described with a bit of Mr. Roger's style schooling.

The degree of "hotness" in a pepper is measured in Scoville Heat Units.

The spicy Jalapeno weighs in at a hearty 5,000 units. The flame throwing Cayenne comes in at 60,000 units.

The Scotch Bonnet (of which I used 2 in a single pot) lands in the 325,000 range...second only to the Habanero which ranges from 100,000-1,000,000 units.

...Mrs. Mackalicious says I am no longer allowed to run Helter Skelter through the grocery store purchasing ingredients I think look pretty. Oh well, my punishment was having to eat the leftovers which stewed for 24 hours only to become more pungent to the taste. But since I enjoy spicy food, and she still has to sleep next to me...who is really getting punished here?

...heh, heh, heh.

Bowl Projections

I recently checked ESPN's Bowl Projections and I saw UGA is no longer projected to play Ohio State in the What's In Your Wallet Bowl. Yes we are still a likely candidate for Capital One's Bowl game, but we're actually paired with Michigan State according to Mark Schlabach and Bruce Feldman.

If we had beaten Tech, I would say I'm disappointed in this match-up because Ohio State is by far a much larger marquee brand of football. Unfortunately we were unable to win a football game against the ACC by scoring 42 points which means we obviously don't have our act together. As sucky as it was to lose to Tech this year, it would have been equally as embarrassing for UGA's name to be shown as a statistic everytime Ohio State weaseled their way into a National Championship game against an SEC opponent (That name would have appeared under the only win against our conference).

Could Georgia beat Ohio State? I think we could, but I wouldn't want to test it this year. I have a lackluster confidence in our defense after losing to a much lesser Georgia Tech team running a gimmicky offense. Call me a pessimist, but I think a Michigan State match-up would be much more beneficial to our ability to salvage a quality end to this season. I know this is a crappy attitude to have as a Dawg fan, but like Santa told the know-it-all kid from The Polar Express last night on the Family Channel, "A little humility would serve you well". (btw that kid had the same voice as Mandark from Dexter's Laboratory if I remember correctly)

The humility line was initially meant for all you Tech nerds, I'm using it in another context.

But as you can tell, since ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas is still showing strong in my household I'm obviously not over the Tech loss so it could be the sorrow speaking.

In other news I do want to wish Tech the worst of luck at the Peach Bowl...and yes it is still the Peach Bowl no matter who sponsors it. I'd be lying if I told you I think it's a crappy bowl game because to be honest, anything not in Boise, Idaho is a step in the right direction for the North Avenue Nerds. Plus, when UGA played Virginia Tech there 3 years ago it was the setting for one of Matthew Stafford's most impressive comeback wins.

Finally, I wanted to mourn the loss of a true Atlanta food legend. James Paschal who opened Paschal's Restaurant passed away at 88. Many people know Paschal's as being the restaurant that fed those who fought in the Civil Rights Movement. Being that I'm neither 60 years old, black, or racist; I only remember a different Paschal's location as being the only place worth eating at when I was on my lunch breaks when I worked at Hartsfield years ago. Soul food at it's finest, even when served in an airport terminus. God speed, James Paschal...God speed.

I hope you're serving this in Heaven's airport.

155 lbs @ 6'5"

The title of this post is in regards to my dimensions. I am a skinny, tall guy who was born with the freakish ability to eat whatever I want and never gain weight. Women hate me, burgers fear me, ...come to think of it most women fear me too. Regardless, I wanted to post this tangent about one of my great loves, hamburgers (cheeseburgers to be precise).

I was uber-delighted when I found my new favorite blog. It's called A Hamburger Today and it's all about burgers across America. PLUS it's updated regularly!

From the Krispy Kreme burger:


To the grilled cheese (bun) burger:


This website has opened my eyes to the narrowness of my pleasure in the field of "burger". At the moment, my most exotic burger experience comes from Auburn, AL. When I pledged a fraternity at LaGrange College, we took a road trip to Auburn...for a dinner trip. We ended up at Cheeburger Cheeburger (which I was told closed down but recently heard conflicting reports) home of The Pounder.

The Pounder is a cheesburger that weighs one pound, clever huh? If a patron is capable of eating the whole thing they get their picture taken with a Polaroid camera and it gets put on the wall. Of my pledge class I was one of only 3 who was capable of eating a full pound of cheeseburger (which comes fully loaded with lettuce, tomato, etc...) My buddy Adam Riggins, whos blog is link on the right, also seemed to have room for a milk-shake and fries but that is neither here nor there. So if the Cheeburger Cheeburger is still open in Auburn there is a picture of me and two other guys next to the men's restroom.

This is no strange feat as many have accomplished it before me, but sadly that is all the excitement I have in the burger world. These days I usually stick to turkey burgers at home with the wife, or Bubba Burgers, which are boarderline shameful, when we visit my parents.

Either way, I just wanted to share this with you guys to see if you find the same pleasure I find when you sink your teeth into a thick, juicy cheeseburger. Burgers are not only a well balanced meal (beef-protein, bun-grain, lettuce/pickle-veggie, tomato-fruit, and cheese-dairy) but they are also extremely portable when you aren't in any condition to drive and there is a Wendy's down the street from the fraternity house. This, my friends, is truly God's most perfect meal. Amen!

Ben & Jerry's: Tennessee Volunteer Edition

In honor of the Dawgs' match-up with the Vols this Saturday, I bring you the newest flavor venture from the Vermont ice-cream king, Ben & Jerry's. A spokesman from the company states Ben Jerry's will be offering up custom flavors to local markets based in SEC college towns. The vendors will be allowed to create new flavors, package, and market their product to the same SEC fans who buy anything with their teams logo on it. The representative went on to say, if people will buy this, they'll buy just about anything.

So later this month in Knoxville, and surrounding...farmlands...the following flavors will be available from your local Piggly-Wiggly.

Fulmers Favorite - A delightful creation with vanilla bean ice cream mixed with real Krispy Kreme donut bits, peanut butter & chocolate swirl, Oreo chunks, Moon Pie bits, marshmallows, butter, bananas, french fries, pineapple, Kraft Singles, peanut M&Ms, chicken wings, ketchup, and topped with a big orange slice. Mmmm, Mmmmmmmmmm.

Straight Outta' Crompton - This flavor begins with a creamy mix of chocolate and vanilla swirled together and a blast of flavor with chocolate football helmets filled with real clumps of grass pulled from Jonathan's facemask!

Eric Berry Garcia - Pretty much the same as Cherry Garcia, except the mixture is extremely inconsistent and may include a swirl of Knoxville's own "Blown Coverage Fudge".

Chili Slaw-fense - Obviously since the term "claw-fense" is vomit inducing to most Tennessee locals, we created a more fan-friendly flavor! Granny's homemade peach ice cream mixed with real chunks of Oscar Meyer hotdogs, a swirl of Hormel chili, and a generous "spread" of coleslaw is sure to satisfy even the most bitter good ol' boy who's had his fill of Dave Clawson's playbook!

Fish Food - Not to be confused with Phish Food, the Knoxville version will be chocolate ice cream mixed in with shredded bits of Johnny Chavis' defensive schemes and comes in a 12 oz. weighted tub capable of reaching the Tennessee River if thrown from the upper deck of Neyland Stadium.

Rocky Topper - There is no better comfort food than this. Portable and refreshing, Rocky Topper is a spirit-warming base of corn whiskey ice cream with a blast of peanut butter & jelly sandwich bits. Under each lid is a picture of Tee Martin giving you a smile, a wink, and a thumbs up with a passage reading, "Never give up."

ugh...

Continuing my quest to title my posts today with "reaction words", I bring you a quick lunch-time story.

I brought my lunch to work today as I do most days. But today I just wasn't feelin' it. So I make my way over to the Checkers down the street from my warehouse. As I'm in my truck at the window receiving my order I see a big fat lady waddle up to the walk-up window and proceed to scream her order into the building.

The thing that got me was the fact she ordered "A NUMBER SIX COMBO UPSIZED WITH A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE, WITH EXTRA TARTER SAUCE ON THE FISH SANDWICH AND 2 APPLE PIES".


...and I'm sure it looked just like this.

I will admit I find excessively obese people who indulge themselves slightly gross, but ordering the fish sandwich at a fast food restaurant might be the closest thing to telling someone "you know what? surprise me!" when you order. Because fish sandwiches are the equivalent of eating fried fish particle-board. Then to top it off with extra tarter sauce just makes my stomach turn...ugh, disgusting.

To tell both sides of the story I did order 2 Checkerburgers, a medium order of fries and a milkshake which isn't much healthier. BUT, I weight 155 lbs and I'm 6'4" and I've eaten like a pig my whole life which means 1 of 2 things.
#1 My wife hates the very air I breathe when I tell people I don't gain weight, because she thinks she fat even though she's skinnier than I am.
#2 I have better metabolism than Otis Nixon after just snorting 2 bumps of cocaine through a tampon applicator...which just like Otis' career in baseball will eventually fade away and I'll end up looking like the pregnant man who wasn't really a man at all, no matter what Oprah told you.


Guess what America? I just got away with putting a picture of a topless woman on my blog AND you're wife won't care that you're looking! Thank me later, preferably when you finish vomiting.

That pretty much sums up my rant. Now to really man this post up a little bit here's a picture of a guy trying to light his fart and the Jackyl music video for their song Lumberjack (which includes a chainsaw solo). Enjoy, my fellow man!




I don't know about you, but my chest hair just got a little thicker watching that.

MAGRUBER!

I had a bit of a Magruber moment today at lunch.

...I mean seriously, what office kitchen DOESN'T have a can opener?!?

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?!?" or as everyone else calls it "Bye Week"

October 4th and November 22nd. Circle those dates. If your wife says, "Hey honey my friend I haven't seen in 6 years and you've never met is getting married October 4th or November 22nd can you go with me?" you'd better say yes because that should meet your wedding quota for the Fall and you won't miss any Georgia games.

However, if you find yourself friendless, wifeless, etc... I thought I'd provide a few examples of things I like to do in the fall that could help fill the void (assuming you have ZERO interest in how your rivals are doing, in which case if you do, you'd better not miss their game!)

#1: Gatlinburg, TN
It's like Aspen, but with better junk food, and a ski lift that doesn't actually let you get off and ski back down.

Get your fill on taffy, candied apples, and corndogs while you take in the Ripley's Aquarium and Believe it or not! museum (that still has the same stuff you believed or didn't believe when you were 9 and went there with your parents). I will say the aquarium is pretty impressive but if you live anywhere near Atlanta you've got a much better one. Also if you're a Dukes fan there is a replica of Cooter's Garage complete with The General Lee sitting out in the parking lot.

Tell me what else you need...I DARE YOU!

#2 The Corn Maize at Cagle's Dairy

The last time I went there my wife and I stood in line for 30-40 minutes to get in. As we got to the ticket booth some teenager walks up and says, "Hey, old man (okay he didn't really call me old man), if I give you $40 will you buy tickets for me and my girlfriend so I don't have to wait in line?" Being the enterprising businessman that I am of course I took him up on it and before long Mrs. Mackalicious and I were roaming about the corn fields essentially free of charge.


Just a short drive up 75 from Atlanta, Cagles plows down sections of corn to create 3 unique corn mazes (enough already, we get the maize = corn joke). My best piece of advice to you would be DO NOT THROW THE FREE MAP THEY GIVE YOU AWAY! I had to use my cellphone as a flashlight to read it, but one of those mazes is so blasted huge we never would have found our way out and would have had to eat our way through the never-ending walls of corn, and we all know how corn goes straight through you!

#3. Oktoberfest in Helen, GA
If you want a beautiful drive through the mountains as the leaves are changing, this is for you. It also helps they serve booze by the gallons, but that only makes the colors that much more vivid. Anyway, if you decide to go, make sure you plan on arriving BEFORE 8am to get a parking place. Arrive early, grab a large breakfast at Hofer's, then spend the rest of the day with a beer in your hand a stupid green hat on your head.
It's a lot like tail-gating, but with more tubas

Either way, I know I enjoy it if nothing else for the killer hotdogs and funnel cakes. If you're going to make a weekend out of it I'd definitely suggest one of the wine-pairing dinners up at the Frogtown Winery too. For Georgia wineries (that aren't strawberry based) this is about as fine as you'll get. Just make sure you get a reservation in because the slots fill up quickly.

Feel free to leave ideas as to what you plan on doing for the 2 bye weeks we get this year. My hope is to enter the first one with a 5-0 record because we'll be needing our batteries charged up 110% for the following stretch.

The Man's Keepin' Me Down!

It'll mostly be light posting the rest of the day. I've got about $2.5 million in contracts sitting in my lap requiring a semi-competent person to review them. If I screw the pooch on this stuff I'll be in a world of hurt.

Anyway, I should have some interesting reads tomorrow as I wrap up the SEC teams reviews from Rivals.com Top 30 rankings. In case you didn't know UGA is ranked 2nd which is just fine by me. Check the link for that info.

http://collegefootball.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=831206

I'm also going with my family to Stone Mountain tonight. I expect to tear-up as Elvis' American Trilogy plays while Robert E. Lee breaks his sword in half and the pieces spin around to become the United States...gets me everytime. But I will not hide my patriotism just because my wife laughs at me, if nothing else I'll blame my eyes watering on the spicy chicken from Popeyes I plan to be eating tonight. But I swear the first kid who steps on my blanket chasing after their stupid glow-ring, glow-stick, glow-anything they've been throwing around, I'm going to trip them...and they will cry, because that's how I roll.

WOOT WOOT IT'S WEEKLY AWARDS TIME!!1

If you will recall, at the end of the week is when I award people who exemplify awesomeness with the Lee Roth Award, and those whom are the picture of douche-i-ness with the Hagar Award.

This will be a two-part post because #1 boss-man's got me covered up, and #2 I still haven't figured out who I thought sucked the most this week.

So let's get this party started with some positivity!



This weeks winner of the Lee Roth Award for Awesomeness is...

Sol Price!!!

For those who may not know, Sol Price is considered the warehouse-retail store pioneer. Today we may know his most excellent achievement known as Costco which was merged with Price Club in 1993. A year and a half ago, a Costco opened near my house...my life has never been the same as evidenced by the photograph below.


That's right, the 72 pack box of Bagel Bites. I placed it next to my wife's stand-mixer so you can see the mammoth size of the box alone. Not to mention there are 6 individually wrapped packs of 12 inside just DARING me to eat them all in one sitting.

Sol Price, the roof of my mouth thinks you're a bastard, everyone else knows without you we'd have to buy our 50 gallon drums of mayonnaise from the Chinese...and nobody wants that. Therefore I honor you with the company of Senator Blutarsky in the inner circle of Lee Roth Award recipients.

Tune in later to see who gets to hang out with Terence Moore in the losers-bracket known as the Hagar Award winners.