Guitar Hero: Metallica

I don't really follow college basketball all that much.

I don't really like Metallica either.

...actually, I effin' hate Metallica.

However, Guitar Hero is something I hold very near and dear to my heart.

Therefore, I think this is hilarious...until Metallica ruined it by sucking so hard.


Fortunately, Bobby Knight was able to throw something and completely redeem the watchablity factor. That said I'm still glad he's not coaching at UGA.

One more thing:
The fact Coach Knight says "We're playing the Guitar Hero" like my Grandmother would say, "I'll search for it on the Google" is a small triumph for whoever snuck that into his script for this commercial. Chances are he was none the wiser.

The Little Things

Busy day at work this morning, but it already had a bad start.

We don't have "personal parking spaces" at work, but I park in the exact same place everyday...the word "RESERVED" is even painted in front of it. Yet officially anyone can park there if the need arose.

Someone was in my place this morning...

This is a picture of my car in it's proper place.


I have diagramed below where I am parked this morning due to the inconvenience.


Though similar to something Bill Lumbergh would do, its still different. I only parked in the slashed paint area next to my usual spot not in a handicap space. That would be rude...and I think enough offensive actions have been taken today, I will take the high road.

Lets hope the day gets better.

Braves Blog

I don't know if any readers are Braves fans, but after I made sure he provided regular updates I'm now linking my buddy The Goat's blog, A Lucid Interval. It actually highlights a current sport unlike Blogging Pantsless which attempts to make UGA news the same way Air Supply attempts to make love (...out of nothing at all).

So catch up with The Goat, or as his filthy lawyer buddies call him "Joe", if you wanna know what my old college roommate thinks about the Bravos. You can find him under the Amigos section.

Personally I'd love to see more speculative rumor-mongering instead of being presented with a bunch of factually correct gobbledygook. Here's a few good places to start for you Goat...

BREAKING NEWS!
Braves sign veteran outfielder, Kenny Lofton to 5 year deal!

Chief Noc-a-homa arrested after rousing game of grab-ass with newest bunch of Chop Chicks!

Chipper to star in Herpacil commercial!

Francoeur takes out restraining order on local blogger, legal representation for Mackalicious could not be reached for comment.

You can thank me later, Goat.

Why Nick Montana Won't Be Wearing Red & Black

Unless you've been living under a rock you've heard the big news over the weekend. Nick and his father, Joe were in Athens scoping out the Classic City for the 2010 recruit. As incredibly awesome as the publicity of having Joe Montana's son be a Dawg would be...it ain't gonna happen.

Here's why.

We are deep in 2009 QBs...2 deep. Unless this kid is a rare example of patience shown in celebrity children, he'll be looking for field time right out of the gate. Aaron Murray and Zach Attack-Mettenberger are our two freshman stallions right now and either one could potentially stay 4-5 years (barring early drafts...but surely not both would leave early). Though it's a fact Nick doesn't mind competing for his position, he already went head to head with Wayne Gretzky's boy for snaps in high school. It's rumored Trevor Gretzky's dad lost a fortune betting on his son winning the position battle (If I make up rumors, you hear it here first).

Also, ESPN has a pretty rough breakdown of his weaknesses...

He possesses the mechanics to throw when off balance and just enough strength to get the ball where it needs to be, but he does not have an elite arm. If Montana's feet are not set or he is unsettled, he is not the same player in terms of accuracy and production. To get the most out of his arm, he must utilize his entire body and be mechanically sound. At times if pressured he will look flustered and lose zip and confidence in where he's going with the ball. As with Jimmy Clausen in 2007 who attended the same school we are concerned about the overall level of competition he faces each week. Overall, Montana is going to be a player that needs to be in the weightroom and add strength and bulk not only for arm strength improvements, but for durability as well. He has a late bloomers frame and the tools to really develop into a sound, competitive prospect at the next level. Best football is definitely down the road.

...the two words that should scare you, Jimmy Clausen.
Look this douche-nozzle in the frosted tips and tell me it ain't a complement.

Anyway, if Nick wants to be a Dawg he's gonna have to earn his starting time. Matthew Stafford had to prove his worth before he got his first start against UAB his Freshman year. Biggest difference? Nick isn't competing with Joe T-3 and Blake Barnes, we've got 2 of 2009's finest QBs ready to piss in the new kid's Powerade.

So, I think it'd be awesome to have Nick in Athens, but I doubt the atmosphere will overtake his desire for facetime landing him at Georgia. Sorry to start your Monday out on a sour note, but this dose of reality can't be any worse than...this news.

...oh Vince, I thought you were different.
(Camera guy, you gettin' this?)

FUN FACT:
Not only did Nick Montana compete against Wayne Gretzky's son, but they were throwing passes to Trey Smith...Mr. Wild Wild West's offspring. Coming soon to the Disney Channel, Celebrity Highschool Musical.

You love me, you REALLY love me!!1

A special thanks to Bernie for the heads up, but I just got a huge bump from being linked to AJC's College Recruiting Twitter.

And it reads:

Best blog name to come 'round the pike in a while from Bulldogs Nation: "Blogging Pantsless"

Thanks a bundle! I completely take back all the nasty stuff I ever wrote about Terence Moore...

...Ppphhtt...

BWHAHAHAAAHAHA...AHAAA...Ahaaaaa...aaaahhhh...just kidding, I couldn't even type that without knowing I was totally full of crap. But seriously, thanks for the traffic and recognition!

Any blogger will tell you this kind of attention inspires creative writing, unfortunately for me it only inspires the same type of garbage posts I've been doing for nearly a year now. But nonetheless, I appreciate it and I'll continue to try my best to provide some laughs during the off-season.

GO DAWGS!

IN ADDITION:
I also forgot to mention I'm linked to the AJC's UGA sports section under More College Football, Ya'll. For a while now I've say idley by and watched Bernie's Dawg Blawg being linked in a jealous rage. The only comparison I can think of is to that of the hit television series, Cheers. Where Rebecca Howe had to sit and watch Sam Malone constantly getting to knock boots with Diane Chambers. All she wanted was a piece of that washed up Red Sox pitcher (and recovering alcoholic)...but Diane got all the attention. Now both Diane (Bernie) and Rebecca (Mackie) are getting to have a wicked hot 3-way with Sam (the AJC)...and it's all good. If it hadn't worked out, the same fate would have befallen me as did Kirstie Alley. I would have ballooned up to 400 lbs while eating my feelings (all while carrying John Travolta's talking baby). A fat Mackie, is a sad Mackie...and nobody wants that.

MarkRicht

It takes a man like Mark Richt getting into something like this for me to even be remotely interested.

According to the AJC, Coach Richt is now on Twitter. You can follow him here if you're into that sort of thing.

I see Twitter as being a social network of Facebook Statusees. I don't really care what most people are up to, I just want to look at everyones pictures and see if they're having more fun now that I'm not around.

...(sigh).

He's a Ford Truck Man.

We've all seen Coach Richt's Ford F-150 commercial. He touts:

-Sweat feeding the soul
-Mental & physical toughness
-Success on and off the field
-Outworking the competition
-Hooking up with the watergirl
-Georgia Saturdays being built Ford tough

Apparently, Newnan recruit Alec Ogletree got to experience this first-hand. Last weekend Coach Richt gave him a ride from the weightroom to practice during Junior Day in his truck. He talked to Alec about staying close to God, living life to the fullest, playing in-state where his family could come watch him play and how he wanted nothing but the best for Alec. What a classy guy.


Whos got 2 thumbs and has to use seatcovers so the charisma don't stank up his leather upholstery?

But what really interests me in this story is Alec Ogletree's top choice right now is...Miami?!?! It's not surprising because Miami is a crap hole, it's surprising because he HASN'T EVEN BEEN THERE. I think if this guy is used to the suburban nightlife of the best Newnan, GA has to offer...Miami would eat him alive. I think it'll only take witnessing a couple drive-bys, a few bad drug deals, and catching a bad case of Feugo Cubano from the local mistresses in order to send this kid packing back north to Georgia. Randy Shannon, I'm sure you will show this kid Miami's finest.

"You know Alec, Larry wasn't the only one they called Coker."

"Do you know what a hassa is, Alec?!?"

Of course I've never actually been to Miami either. But I assume it's alot like the movie Scarface...still. Overrun by Cuban gangsters, out of control coccaine usage, discos, and gunfights in broad daylight. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Anyway I've said it before, I think the city of Athens is one of our greatest recruitment assests. We've got churches for the straightlaced kids and Toppers for the wild ones. If you want trouble you can find it, but it's not running rampant throughout the college town.

So hopefully Alec gets his visits in and comes back to UGA. This is out of Coach's hands now but the personal time riding in his truck couldn't have done anything but help. Rumor has it Paul Johnson is taking the same approach to landing his bounty of 2 and 3 star recruits for 2010.

Hurry boy! We gotta get over to the Varsity before the Nursing Students herd that way!

Happy Friday, Suckers!

Thank God for Photoshop...without it I'm nothing.

Today's Big Thing

So I stole this from Today's Big Thing but only because I was really excited about it. I'm not gonna lie to you, this book scared the balls outta me when I was a little kid (thus leaving me incapable of fathering children or being harmed when knee'd in the groin). Though, I'm really interested in how this will translate into live-action film.

I warned you.

It's time to start scraping the bottom of my creative barrel.

SEC East Headcoaches as fastfood restaurants.

#1. Coach Steven Spurrier

This one is quite possibly the most obvious of the pack. Spurrier is McDonalds because he's old as hell and only poor people like him.


#2. Coach Mark Richt

Coach Richt would most likely be Chick-Fil-A. Good quality and a solid Christian foundation, sound familiar? Also, whether you want to admit it or not (as far as fast-food goes) your wife finds him delicious.


#3. Coach Bobby Johnson

Bobby Johnson will be represented by Arbys. Slightly more class than other restaurants, and the Vanderbilt faithful can use their ascots to wipe the extra horsey sauce off their chin. You never really pay much attention to Arbys until you take in too much and it rips you a new one. Then you try to forget the experience until a few years down the road it happens again.


#4. Coach Lane Bryant...I mean Kiffin...Kiffin.

New Tennessee coach, Lane Kiffin will be represented by Fatburger. Fatburger is a relatively new burger franchise from California who thinks it is ready to take on the bigboy burger chains but has yet to establish anything in Tennessee. No seriously they don't have any locations in Tennessee and have failed to dominate any of the surrounding Southeast states so far...hmm...interesting.


#5. Coach Rich Brooks

Coach Brooks will be represented by Cracker Barrel. While not technically fast food, is Kentucky even technically a football school?!? Anyway, Coach Brooks is old, crotchety, and loves a good veggie plate. He eats dinner at 4:00pm anyways so give me one good reason why he shouldn't be Cracker Barrel.


#6. Corch Irvin Meyers

I was really hoping to find a San Fransisco based Queer Burger or something to that effect but no such luck. Instead Corch Meyers will be represented by Five Guys. Those little burger joints that have been popping up and dominating the state of Georgia for the past few years??? That's Five Guys. You better take notice Chick-Fil-A, we're in an all out war here and it's time to get back on track! The more Five Guys start popping up around here the more highschool phenoms are going to get sucked into their glitz and glamour! Sure you only order a small fry but after they've got your to-go order ready they put A WHOLE 'NOTHER ADDITIONAL SCOOP OF FRIES IN THE BAG TO FILL SPACE!!! What the crap kind of trick is this?!?! It's time to wake up kids! Don't you see what this man is doing will leave you with nothing more than a knowledge of Spread Offense and a gigantic muffintop?!? If nothing else newspaper clippings of self-praise will adorn the walls of your building and any horse$h*t speeches you make will be immortalized in plaques for others to see how great you think you are. Meanwhile I swear I'm gonna be pissed if this crap doesn't turn around soon. I hate you Corch Meyers, I hate you.


...alrighty!

Tune in next time for the SEC West coaches! If you completely disagree with my analysis of headcoaches please feel free to let me know which restaurant you believe better coincides with said coach. Otherwise, take this as the gospel and never dispute it.

Look-a-likes

I know a lot of people aren't fond of the type of articles like:

"SEC Football Teams as Seinfeld Episodes"

"Mascots as Sex & the City Characters"

"NCAA Headcoaches as Fastfood Restaurants"
(hmmm...not a bad idea, I may run with this ball tomorrow)

...but anyway, I love me some celebrity look-a-likes (as referenced...'chare)

Here is something I found via FOX Sports...I wanted to link it but then you'd have to look at all the unfunny ones also (for Pete's sake we all know John Gruden looks like Chucky already!!1).

So to get around their little "I'm not going to let anyone save the pictures I photoshopped together because I'm a gay" attitude, I just did a few screen captures for your amusement.


The guy who was saved by Ace Ventura and The 'Hoff


Nick Johnson and Roy...the paper warehouse guy.


Big Papi and the mother from Goodtimes...nice!


QB Flacco and Ernie's mustache ride.

...you know what? If I ever get any motivation to be a decent blogger I might decide to crop future image postings...maybe.

Until then, I'm tired like Percy Harvin after the Wonderlic...lots of thinkin' today, brain hurts. I'll be a little less worthless tomorrow and hopefully do something right.

Good Lord

This garbage comes up every year, unfortunately by Georgia fans.

I'll be making my first trip to Jacksonville this year. I think one of the most exciting aspects of college football is going to a football game AWAY from your stadium (be it neutral site or not) and winning outside of your friendly confines. Yes, we haven't done a terribly good job of doing that the last 20 years, but you don't chance the tradition until you change your record. If we bitch and moan about moving the site while we're losing the game 4 out of every 5 years we look like a bunch of Yella' Fellas (sorry Osmose).

No problem Mackie, hey hows that deck coming?

Vince Dooley didn't need to play Florida at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, Coach Richt doesn't need to play the Gators in the Dome. What we need to do is stop pooping our pampers at the aura of a football team every year. We don't lose homefield advantage if a stadium is half red pants and half jean shorts between the goalposts.

From what I gather from the diehard fans who make the trek every year, half the fun is skipping a 1/2 week of work (WED), driving down to St. Simons for golf and beach time (THURS/FRI), tailgating & catching the game (SAT), confessing sins against your fellow man and driving home (SUN).

What's say we start wearing our ovaries on the outside and play some dad-blamed football?!?!

Week in review

Well, I'm back at work after spending part of the week in Helen with my inlaws. Aside from 3 screaming babies (age 1,2, and 3) crying at 2am and 6am...it was a pretty nice trip. We did a lot of gay little kid activities like take pictures, petting zoo, and Babyland General (in Cleveland, GA where Cabbage Patch Kids are born) but it was fun to see incoherent little kids attempting to be amused by grown adults who should know better.

Without a doubt the highlight of the trip was the time spent with my wife making smartass comments about anything and everything to each other. I think I'm a pretty funny guy, but my wife's wit is so sharp it will cut you faster than SUR 13. We had a blast being the only people without kids...because it's really for the best.

HIGHLIGHT MOMENT OF THE WEEK:
At Babyland General we were able to see the miracle of life take place...under the magic crystal tree.

...this picture is either new or 20 years old, because Babyland hasn't been updated in a while.

We were told all about the birth we witnessed including the dilation of the cabbage and how fairies sprinkle magic dust over the cabbage patch to make either the babies either boys or girls! As the Cabbage Patch Kid was born they ask the audience to raise their hand if they've got a name for the child, so I raised my hand. Unfortunately they picked some little girl who suggested some trailor-trash name like Skylar or Crystal.

I was going to offer up the names my wife and I have decided for our first child, Herschel Munson Alicious if it's a boy, or Dooleyanne Belue Alicious if it was a girl. Feeling a little irritated due to the slight, this is when I asked my wife if all the aborted babies get sold off to Boarshead...

...who doesn't like a good abortion joke to kickstart their weekend?!?

But anyway we're back and starting work again. It was good to hear Matthew Stafford put on a laser show rivalling Stone Mountain at Pro Day. Completing 45 of 50 is a good sign you're able to connect to your receivers. Hopefully that translates well in Detroit where Calvin Johnson might be your only hope for completions...if the O-Line gives you enough time. Otherwise on Thanksgiving we'll be watching our boy take more shots to the face than Tebow at Pridefest.


Anyway, happy Friday, suckers.

Enjoy the weekend.

Something to deface next time I'm in Gainesville.

...Ugh, this lovefest has reached a new low.

30,000

Thanks for the numbers we hit over the weekend. Light posting this week, I'm taking a mini-vacay up to North Georgia for some time in the mountains.

Also, I know it's about time to get your season ticket paperwork in. If anyone is able to order 2 extra seats to Oklahoma State let me know, I don't think my contact is going to have that flexibility with his point level.

If you are able to get me a couple of tix we'll meet before the game and find a bar somewhere in the Gomorrah-esq town of Stillwater and the first round's on me.

Post a comment for me to check my email and shoot me one to:

bloggingpantsless(at)yahoo(dot)com

I appreciate it.

Important Dates

Just so you know:

28 more days until G-Day.

176 more days until Kickoff in Stillwater.

...these can't come soon enough.

(occurances that shall not be named)

As many of you know I'm a slightly superstitious person (see GameDay traditions) and I hesitate to bring this up for fear of jinxing it. Therefore I will refer to them as (occurrences that shall not be named).

You know what I'm talking about, and it is still early yet. But I think the best way for the Georgia Bulldogs to prove they are serious about improving team discipline would be to completely eliminate off-season (occurrences that shall not be named).

Of course, like I said, it's still WAAAAAY early. But the fact Everyday Should Be Saturday already has their Fulmer Cup scoreboard up again shows it's openseason for off-season (occurrences that shall not be named).

A tall order? You're damn right it is, do you know how tough it is not to jay-walk in Athens?!? But the coaching staff has gone so far beyond beating a dead horse on the penalties/discipline issue it is nearing the point of necrophilia and molestation charges. There is a fiery red-headed team leader who is stepping up to take charge and will play Little Spoon to no one...well...except.......you know.


So that's my challenge to the Dawgs this Summer. Focus on your game, not your downtime. This will prevent off-season (occurrences that shall not be named) AND improve your skills/talent. If you want to party, party in the weight room. You can do either to the point of vomiting...believe me I know because I puked in the bushes outside the Marietta Salvation Army office when I thought I could hang with my wife's bootcamp class.

Our 2009 class is finalized, we got who we wanted. Now it's time for the coaching staff and upperclassmen to step up and mould these guys into NO LIMIT SOUL-JA's so we don't get our fudge packed when I make a trip down to Jacksonville this Fall.

GATA!



...also Happy Friday, suckers.

New Cah'

I finally found a replacement for my truck some douchenozzle totalled when he ran into me. I'm now the proud owner of a 2009 Honda Pilot. It's well equipped, got a 100K mile Honda warranty, and I got it $1,000 BELOW Kelly Blue Book's dealer invoice.

So in honor of my new toy, I give you Frank Zappa with a moving rendition of Joe's Garage straight into Why Does it Hurt When I Pee? Of course Joe's Garage is the only relevant song to this post, but I can't edit out the latter movement (pun completely intended).


In the Frank Zappa movie, his role is destined to be performed by Dustin Diamond.

Comparison: Rotten Apples to Oranges

...if Paul Westerdawg doesn't have to update, then I don't either!

Sorry posting has been light, work is a harsh mistress right now.

Until then I want you to check out my buddy The Goat(or as his ambulance chasin' lawyer buddies call him "Joe")'s blog, A Lucid Interval. At the moment he's covering mostly Braves stuff but I'm sure once football season rolls around he'll be all over the Dawgs.

As a little backstory, The Goat was one of my college roommates. Over the course of the second half of my freshman year this made him completely repulsed by the following:

-Pink Floyd
-Older women
-PT Cruisers
-Roommates who only wear band t-shirts
-Roommates who only sleep on the couch
-Ramen
-Green throw-up on St. Patricks Day
-Red throw-up on Valentines Day
-Pastel colored throw-up on Easter
-Miller High Life
-PEZ


He put up with a lot of my crap until I moved into the fraternity house...then he was able to reach equilibrium while my life continued to spiral out of control.

Last year he did travel with me out to the wasteland of Columbia, SC for the nightmare of a football game the Dawgs played against USC. Sure it was mid-90's, no wind, no clouds, no shade, no gas on the drive home...but Georgia won so I shouldn't complain. It could have been worse though, if I was a USC fan I would have to spend 1/2 a season out in that warehouse district.

Movie Review

Since the Orson Charles story is now old news, I decided to post a movie review from my latest trip to the cinema.

Last Friday my buddy Adam Riggins (from the critically acclaimed AdamRiggins.com) invited me to go see Watchmen with him. I'd seen the previews and thought it looked cool even though I knew little to nothing about the movie.



The laughs started before the movie as we discovered a shared affinity for sneaking outside food in. Adam had a large soda from McDonalds stuck in his coat jacket (draped over his arm) and I had a dozen buffalo wings, a small order of chili-cheese potato wedges, celery, bleu cheese dressing, and a 40oz of King Cobra in the front pocket of my hooded sweatshirt.

To sum it all up, if you're a fan of Richard Nixon, sex scenes, excessive gore, slo-mo action shots, incredible special effects, and you've always wanted to see a dude from Blue Man Group do full frontal nudity...then you'll love Watchmen.

The storyline was a bit of a mash-up the hardcore fans knew about. However, walking in not knowing anything other than these are a bunch of superheros I've never heard of, I was able to follow it well enough. The only problem was the dang thing lasted for nearly 3 hours and seemed to drag on during some parts. Sure it's for "plot development" but I wasn't so impressed with the story I felt it justified 3 hours.

Oh well, if you're familiar with the graphic novel or going with some other guys I say go for it. Chicks won't be impressed but if nothing else they'll get to see some wieners which I think balance out the boobs for the guys, it's really basic nudity to viewing pleasure mathematics.

Just whatever you do, don't refer to it as THE Watchmen while in line to purchase tickets...all the Georgia Tech fanboys will be quick to correct your titular misnomer. I'm sure the fact they know the proper name of a graphic novel from the '80s gets them poon lined up and down the block so more power to 'em.

EXCELSIOR!

Dear Head:

SUCK IT!

Love,
-Heart

Orson's a Dawg!

If we win a National Championship in the next few years I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have knock it over and shatter the blasted thing into a million pieces.

Mackie's Bodypart Roundtable:

Welcome to the bodypart roundtable for a discussion on Plant High School TE, Orson Charles. Head, you start us off.

Mackie's Head:
Orson Charles will be in Southern California getting more play than a stripper at a Duke Lacrosse party. Between the weather, the beaches, the loose hedonistic women, and the coolest headcoach on Twitter, Charles will be (and wear) a Trojan. Pete Carroll pillaged a #7 jersey and scribbled Charles on the back of it with a Sharpie. The kids going to USC, get over it Heart you still got a great '09 class.

Mackie's Heart:
I beg to differ, Head. If you haven't noticed all the reports from the AJC the kids a good Christian and is praying over his decision with his family. With a classy head coach like Mark Richt who is value-oriented the two personalities line up and everyone who purchased a Matthew Stafford jersey will be able to wear it a few more years as UGA welcomes a new Tight End. Also, 2006 called they want their reference to Duke Lacrosse back.

Mackie's Head:
Charles is playing you for a fool. He told the LA News he was praying to David Lee Roth's hot-pink headband over the decision. I'm sure he spoke with the Knoxville paper regarding his college choice and made them aware he was praying to a tube of Fixodent. He's playing the locals by making them think he's their kind of guy and praying to what's important to them.

Mackie's Heart:
Well, that may be true because I haven't verified. But I think he's a good kid and Athens, GA would be a great fit for him. Not to mention his highschool QB whom he is good friends would still be his QB as a Dawg.

Mackie's Head:
...you're naive.

Mackie's Heart:
Well, you're excessively critical, skeptical, and lack faith...just like the entire state of California.

Mackie's Rectum*:
I think Knoxville would be a gre...

Heart & Head:
Shut-up Rectum, he's not going to Knoxville.

Mackie's Rectum:
Why not? Knoxville's a great place(...ppppprrrrrrrrrrrrtt) it's got a great marble quarry, excellent women's basketball, that awesome looking gold ball building from the 1982 World's Fair, (...pppprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttt) what's not to love!?!

Mackie's Head:
Ugh, Rectum that f#$%'in stinks man!

Mackie's Heart:
I'm glad I'm not near a nose.

AND SCENE!

See poll to the top right.


*damn near killed 'em!

D-Day for Orson

By the time you make your afternoon commute back home, we'll know if Orson Charles will be our future Tight End (not me, I'm hangin' a bird at The Man and Crip walkin' out the door at 1:00pm).

Thanks Pimpmywalk.com!!!

Regardless of where he commits, I wish nothing but the best for Orson as long as he goes to UGA...

Also, where the normal human mind might associate the name "Orson" with such famous people as Orson Wells, where I differ is I never got past associating him with Orson the Pig from U.S.Acres...go figure.


Happy Friday, suckers.

UGA Basketball

...WHHHAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!??????

Of course, I don't keep up with UGA basketball until the bandwagon begins to fill. This surprised me because I remember back when there were concerns of UGA basketball losing every single conference game this season. So far we've managed to squeeze a few wins out, a couple of which were against usual conference powerhouses (Florida, Kentucky).

I remember working on a project in Lexington, Kentucky when there were signs in the windows of local businesses to "Fire Tubby". I wonder how Minnesota is doing this season?

Tech Spelling Errors

Normally I don't try to rub mistakes in anyone's face, but the fact Georgia Tech students do nothing but brag about how S-M-R-T they are...I feel this is a little bit justified.

I can't access the actual page because when I click on it a window pops up that says:

"You Do Not Have Permission To View The Requested File"
(I think this is due to me being at work)

But The Regular Guys from Rock 100.5, a local Atlanta morningshow, have a link on their website to a page from Georgia Tech's College Newspaper which is absolutely wrought with errors. Someone took the time to edit the page with a red pen and the link is posted on their website under "FROM THE EMAIL BUCKET".

Here is the link to their website:
www.regularguys.com

You have to scroll halfway down the page to find the link, but if you're able to view it let me know (because I don't know why I'd be restricted).


Sir, our spellcheck security stronghold has been breached.

Your Next Big Thing

Lets get this all out on the table right now. Football is gone and I'm struggling to fill the void. Usually in this lull I turn to hockey, but the Thrashers' season is borderline unwatchable it's so bad. If nothing else I take comfort in Braves baseball being right around the corner. Having to put up with our players going to that ridiculous World Baseball Classic is lame and I'd rather the best baseball team in the world be determined at the Olympics...at least then we'd get a decent drug test out of our players.

Until the 30-something days until the MLB season opener, I have allowed my time to be occupied with my new favorite competitive sport...

Competitive Collegiate A Cappella Singing

Much like UGA football, I prefer the college game because the players show more heart and aren't just in it for the money like in professional competitive a cappella singing.

MEET YOUR UGA ACCIDENTALS!!!!
/lasers
/confetti
/Technotronic music

Not since Andy Bernard's involvement in Cornell's own Here Comes Treble has competitive a cappella been this exciting!

Check out our guy's video cover of the classic Phil Collins hit, Another Day in Paradise


Their website needs a little updating because at the moment we are awaiting the results of the February 7th ICCA Quarterfinals which were hosted at the Morton Theatre in Athens. If any of you guys know the outcome, please post in comments.

UPDATE:
The Varsity Vocals ICCA website posted that our UGA Accidentals defeated a lesser UGA squad (UGA Noteworthy, which are like the Mets of competitive A Cappella) by a score of 410 to 335 points! Also, placing third was the Rice University Philharmonics who only managed 326 points (yet due to a scorecard error still advanced to the Semifinal round...I kid you not).

The Semifinals will be hosted by UNC-Greensboro on March 14th. Our very own Accidentals will be taking on competition from cupcakes like Another Level from Appalachian State to top tier talent like FSU's own AcaBelles who completely DEMOLISHED the University of Florida's Sedoctaves at the UF hosted Quarterfinal 3 last February 28th!

So wet your whistle and don your classiest ascot, it's time for some SERIOUS March Madness competition!

Your Money & Your Bowels...but no football.

Mrs. Mackalicious and I have been conducting a little experiment this past month.

We took up the challenge of the leopard-print clad financial sex-cougaress herself, Ms. Suze Orman, and attempted not to eat out for an entire month. Luckily for us February is like the shortest month EVER!

"Ms. Orman are you trying to seduce me? ...No? ...Well, should I purchase this new Lexus now that I've got a mortgage and making $35,000/year with nothing in savings???"


So essentially the wife and I haven't spent a dime at any food serving establishment. You always hear people say "If you want to save money don't eat out so much and pack your lunch!" Take it from me, this is true.

Question.

What would you do with an extra $200 each month? I know it's a toughie, right? By eliminating two $30 meals each week ($60 total/week) and instead adding roughly $10-$15 extra to your grocery bill each week to cover adding one more big meal and leftovers...you, yourself could easily add an extra $200 to your income.

These figures were based off the Mackalicious household who is generally pretty good about eating a homecooked dinner most nights of the week, yet occasionally goes out for La Parilla or sushi if it's been a particularly craptacular day at work and we don't wanna cook.

Was it tough for an entire month? You bet. We both went through weak moments the first half of the month but once we got in the swing of things it was actually quite refreshing to sit down with each other over a fail-proof dinner. Unless you are my sister, you probably cook better than restaurants do anyway (...she found a way to smoke out her apartment by burning a loaf of store-bought bread in the oven...still wrapped in the bag of plastic).

Anyway, I was able to break my fast food-fast today at lunch by taking a trip to one of my favorite establishments...McDonalds.

If you have ever gone a long time without eating fast food, and out of nowhere you are compelled to down a Big Mac and large order of fries, then you feel my pain.

The term "massive dirrhetic blowout" really fails to embody the demon I've been exercising since 3pm...but that's all beside the point.

During this down economic cycle I highly recommend this exercise. Fortunately for me we were able to attempt this not out of necessity, but simply for the helluvit. But I am now able to rest assured knowing if for some reason I ever needed to tighten the belt on the family budget, the wife and I are more than capable.

My only suggestion would be to break your cycle with a trip to Doc Greens or somewhere...light. Otherwise you'll feel like you've got a huge purple Grimace shaped turd blocking your digestive tract.

"EAT SOME BRAN FLAKES, BITCH!"

Herschel on Celebrity Apprentice: or what Mackie calls news during off season

I'm not a terribly huge fan of Donald Trump, I think he is a relatively decent businessman who made a couple of stellar real estate decisions. Then he made a bunch of really really BAD investments, one of which included a girlfriend when he was already married (I subscribe to the Frank Barone philosophy of "If you're having problems with your woman, don't go out and get another one because then all you've got are two problems"). Anyway, he made a couple more good financial calls and ended up back on top and landed a television show.

But the only reason I'm relatively interested in Celebrity Apprentice is because #34 is on this season. In case you missed it, here's a summary!

Herchel is elected by Brian Boytano or Scott Hamilton (whoever the gay little ice skating guy was) to be the PM of the men's team. They gave themselves a horrible team name, KOTU which is an acronym for "Kan't Otherwise Think Upaname"...don't quote me on that.

Anyway a while back the Georgia Sports Blog sent a PSA out to any Dawgs in or around New York City to go buy a cupcake from Herschel Walker. That happened to be the first challenge for both the male and female teams of Celebrity Apprentice.

Long story short, the male celebrities lost to the female celebrities who's Project Manager was either Joan Rivers or a siamese cat riding in a car with its head out the window. The good news is, Herschel didn't get fired even though he was in charge of the men's team. The bad news is, now I'm probably going to have to watch Celebrity Apprentice again.

Apparently The Donald thought Andrew Dice Clay was enough of a D-Bag to fire instead so he did. That being said, the Dice Man took his firing relatively well. In his cab ride away from Trump Towers ADC parted ways with this inspirational piece of philosophy...

"Hickory, dickory, dock. The mouse ran up 'da clock...so I f*@%ed Trump's mutha. OOOoOOOOOOO!!!1"

...if nobody got that joke, it just goes to show how irrelevant Andrew Dice Clay is by today's standards.

The highlight of the show for me was seeing a Georgia fan on television holding his freshly autographed UGA helmet in the middle of downtown New York beaming with joy. There is something to cherish about SEC football fanaticism and I'm glad we were represented well by a rebel transplant (opposite of yankee transplant?).

My other opinions of the show:

-Melissa Rivers is every bit as ugly as her mother.

-Tom Green should always have a beard.

-There is a reason nobody knows who Khloe Kardashian is.

-A little part of me was scared Clint Black would suggest one of his black teammates be fired.

-Scott Hamilton must have lost his testicles in a tragic ice skating accident.

-My wife and I mistook Playboy Playmate, Brande Roderick for Gene Simmon's wife (Shannon Tweed).

-I'm glad the majority of high definition television came after Dennis Rodman stopped playing basketball.

-Professional poker players come across as very sleazy people to me.

-I can't tell you a single song Brian McKnight sings.

-I don't consider the women who hold briefcases on Deal or No Deal to be "celebrities".

-Donald Trump mistakenly referred to Herschel Walker the greatest college running back of all time, what he meant to say was he is the greatest college football player of all time.

As a footnote to this story, I'm sure all of us got a little bit of snow yesterday. I found the most entertaining aspect of this inclimate weather to be watching Channel 2 Action News and seeing the pictures people sent in showing off the snow in their yard, much in the same manner shortbus kids show off their macaroni artwork to the school janitor.

...here is the one I sent in.

...his name is Pepper, and he is cold.