Macknac the Magnificent: BAMA Edition

Come in, my child, have a seat. I hope you brought some Wetnaps because I'm about to blow your mind all over the computer screen. I have here in my hand 3 envelopes with questions regarding this weekend's opponent and SEC rival, the Alabama Crimson Tide. I will use my psychic abilities to answer the questions before I open said envelope; and in turn will wow and amaze all you fine readers. Lets get started shall we?

Envelope #1 (holds to head)

Macknac: ...and the answer is, "Zero of the last Three".

Ed: ZERO of the last THREE Heh, Heh, Haaaaahhhh!

Macknac: ...thank you Ed McMahon.

Ed: ...YES SIR!

Macknac: (opens envelope) the question...How many of the past 3 hair plug operations have been successful enough for Nick Saban to fool people?

Ed: Heh, Heh, Haaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!! ZERO!!!

Macknac: (looks at Ed blankly) ...right, that's what I said, thank you Ed.

Ed: YES SIR!


Envelope #2 (holds to head)

Macknac: ...and the answer is, "Alabama Blackout"

Ed: Ala-Bama Blackout, Heh, Heh, Heeeehhhhh.

Macknac: (opens envelope) the question...What happens when Bama Defensive Tackle Terrence Cody stands in front of the Sun?

Ed: HAH HAH...YEEEESSSS SIIIIIRRRRRRR!!!!


Envelope #3 (holds to head)

Macknac: ...and the answer is, "Gene Stallings"

Ed: Gene Stallings, Heh, Heh, Haaaaaaa.

Macknac: (opens envelope) the question...What is the molecular explanation to Alabama's lack of athletic ability?

Ed: ...HEYOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1

{audience goes wild with applause, curtain draws}