Thursday, September 4, 2008

A brief convo between USC's Steven Spurrier and Vandy's Robert Johnson

The following takes place last night between the hours of 10:00pm and 10:04pm EST.

(phone rings)

BJ: (answers) Johnson residence.

OBC: Bob-O, how's it hangin'? It's you're ol' boy Stevey Spurr!

BJ: (sets down brandy sniffer) Hello Steven, is this important? I'm watching Gov. Palin's speech right now.

OBC: Hell, put a tape in the VCR and record it I wanna talk some ball!

BJ: VCR? Steven, I'm really busy can we discuss this tomorrow morning?

OBC: I ain't gonna' take long. I just wanna talk with you about the game tomorrow night. Now we all can admit I blew it last year against your team, and don't get me wrong, they were a fine bunch a ladies. But I need a solid here buddy, we can't let that happen to me again.

BJ: Look Steven, the gentlemen here at Vanderbilt strive to perform at the top level of competition regardless of opponent. Last year your team was decimated with injury and we took advantage of the weaknesses we found in your defense. I'm doing my best to bring this team around and if it means knocking off a USC or Tennessee every now and then, so be it.

OBC: Yeah yeah yeah, I know and don't forget you nearly beat Georgia for 2 straight years.

BJ: I pray nightly to forget it, it was an injustice against our brethren neighbors to the south which I will forever regret allowing to happen once in the first place. (NOTE: This might have been slightly altered during editing).

OBC: Well, cut us some slack tomorrow night, I've gotta get the SEC lead going into next weekend before the mutts come to Willy-Brice or else my players are gonna play flatter than Fulmer's car tires. Heh heh heh.

BJ: ...that doesn't make sense.

OBC: 'cause Fulmer's fat, it weighs his car down.

BJ: OH I GET IT, I GET IT, WISE ONE STEVEN! Myah myah myah!!!

OBC: Heh heh heh!!!

BJ: Myah myah myah!!! Well Steven I make no promises, my boys handled Miamo Ohio pretty well last week, best of luck to you and your team but this will be settled tomorrow night in Nashville. May the best man win.

OBC: Aight, fine. I guess that's all I got Bobby J. Hey one more thing, can you talk to the fans and ask them to lay off the "It's alright, it's okay, you will work for us one day!" chant?

BJ: (running fingers over ascot) Steven, I believe our graduates are well aware South Carolina "degree holders" aren't capable of keeping a steady job so I doubt we'll have to worry about hiring them.

OBC: You're razor sharp Johnson, I like that! Heh, take it easy. Boy, that Palin's got some jugs don't she!?

BJ: ...goodbye Steven. (hangs up)


Sammy the Taint said...


Joe said...

You're rediculous man. Funniest guy I know.