Team-in-Law

I'm really looking forward to the Georgia/Abuurn game this weekend. I think the implications of this game will center on who will have the best of two opposing bad seasons. With the best of luck we can match Auburn with a 7-5 season. With a "Jesus in my french-toast" kinda miracle we can win out and sit at 8-4 going into bowl season. I like our chances Saturday, but I wanted to clarify before I go into the meat of this post, that I am a Dawg fan through-and-through. I don't change hats mid-season, and I sure as hell don't fall off any bandwagon the moment Georgia fails to get 10 wins. I bleed red (and black) and there's no doubt in my mind that Georgia Football is NOT dead.

So now that I've cleared the air with verifying my allegiance, I wanted to get some input regarding the metaphorical (and somewhat literal) elephant in the room.

My subject of this post is to address a different issue regarding your Team-in-Law.

For those who don't understand the concept of "Team-in-Law" it's pretty much the same thing as your mother-in-law...it's the team fanbase you marry into.

Many of you do not have this problem because you either:
A: Aren't married
B: Didn't marry outside your supported institution's fanbase.

As much fun as it was avoiding "Rammer Jammer" the 3 previous times our teams met, last year this picture was taken...

...just before my wife loudly proclaimed that she just beat the hell outta us.

I can admit I have a "BAMA" shirt I wear when Georgia has a bye week. I respect Alabama for their history and The Bear. But should I be in attendance at the SEC Championship what is the appropriate attire in order to support one's Team-in-Law?

I wouldn't want to go all out and be confused with all those "BAMA'S BACK BABY, WOOOOoooooo!!!!1" people but clearly, they are the lesser of the 2 evils meeting in the Dome December 5th. Any help you guys could provide I'd greatly appreciate because you know where my heart is...and it's not with Nick Saban...but it does belong to one of his worshipers.

GO DAWGS!

...the "eyes" have it.

My wife (who is a Bama fan, God bless her heart) made the following statement regarding Mr. Spike's behavior:

"So, I'm guessing the punishment would be the same if another team were to tackle Tebow in a game and proceed to gouge at his eyes... right?"

I went to Rivals and sure enough, Coach Nick Saban has about 10 freshman and sophomore LB's he would probably be willing to "discipline" for the first half of the National Championship Game, you know, until they've learned their lesson for getting Tebow Cornea on their Under Armour following Florida's first offensive possession.

I would find it terribly hard to believe that any DIV 1 coach would stoop that low to purposefully hurt a player...but of anyone in the SEC, whom would you not put past it?

Nick Saban seen showing Mr. Spikes proper form.

Movember

I'm breaking character in this post to help promote a great charitable cause I'm taking part in this month.

The Movember Foundation was created to raise funding for men's prostate and testicular cancers. In doing so participants grow a mustache all month long, garnering support from friends and family in the form of donations.

The money raised in the U.S. will be split between the Prostate Cancer Foundation and the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

The Prostate Cancer Foundation will use the money raised by Movember to fund research to find better treatments and a cure for prostate cancer.

The Lance Armstrong Foundation will use the money raised by Movember to fund:
• the LIVESTRONG Young Adult Alliance program which has the goal of improving survival rates and quality of life for young adults with cancer between the ages of 15 and 40.
• research initiatives to further understand the biology of adolescent and young adult cancers.

I'm dreaming big, friends...REEEEEAAAAAL big.

So, that being said I'd like to ask you to either join my team or support me through my donations page in raising funds for this great cause.

I will be able to track donations and I'm making a special offer to my readers:

Any Blogging Pantsless readers who donate $20 or more will receive an autographed picture (by mail) of my final mustached face taken December 1st before I shave it off.

With an offer like that I don't see how you can turn it down...especially if you are a fan of "To Catch a Predator" because I can readily admit I look like a total pedophile with a mustache.
PARKINZ N UR NAYBURHOOD!

If this sounds too good to be true, you can verify here, but whether it's starting your own team or sponsoring mine, please support this cause. If you make the $20 donation shoot an email to "bloggingpantless(at)yahoo(dot)com" and I'll verify with the site and get a mailing address where I can send you an autographed picture when December rolls around!

Cheer Up Dawg Fans

If I have to hear another Georgia fan telling me I picked a bad year to go to my first Cocktail Party I'm going to start handing out kicks to the sac like it's already Halloween.

Georgia fans have apparently turned into cutters.

I know cautious optimism is the best route, especially when playing the #1 team in the country, AND it being a series we haven't dominated in QUITE A WHILE. But for the most part you guys are comparing the Cocktail Party to forgetting your "safeword" (oh make it stop!)

Did anyone think Florida State would beat BYU? Did anyone think Junior had a shot of even keeping it close last weekend? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

HELL NO!

We play the games for a reason and I'm not assuming we'll win but I can point directly at 3 SEC games the Gators could have lost. Georgia will have to play loose, play consistent(ly good), and play with some balls, but we've got as good a shot as any to shock the world this weekend.

Poo poo it all you want Emo Dawgs, but we've got nothing to lose and the Gators haven't been as good as advertised. They'll get 4 fresh defensemen back from injury, but our players are so focused on this game they have resorted to ignoring the laws of man and traffic.

I've got a $50 bottle of booze riding on this game due to a bet I made 3 years ago and I'm not willing to let go of it without a fight. So hunker down you hairy Dawgs! Lets send "The Greatest Player of Our Era" into the CFL next year with a 1 and 2 record as a starter against his biggest SEC rival!

See you in Jacksonville tomorrow and keep a cold one in the cooler for me because I'll be making my rounds. For all the Dawgs with puppies who couldn't miss Halloween I understand. All I ask is you DVR the evening news Saturday to catch my mugshot, because as Munson said it best, "MAN, is there gonna be some property destroyed tonight!"

GO DAWGS!

UGA Pumpkin

Last year I had a blast carving the Knowshon pumpkin. I asked for suggestions this year, but my talent level is somewhere slightly less than "A ref with his head in his ass" and "Two thumbs up Willie" Unfortunately outside of AJ Green saving our collective tails week-in and week-out, there haven't been too many memorable moments captured in photograph...so I figured I would turn back the clock this year.

Step 1: Choose a favorite Bulldog memory...


Step 2: Tape it down and use a nail to outline the graphic puncturing the skin JUST ENOUGH to leave an outline...


Step 3: Look at it...(this step isn't necessary, but I had a picture to take up space so I'm using it).


Step 4: Use a rotary tool to scrape around the punctured outline of your pumpkin graphic. I'd suggest using eye protection because after you're done there will be so much pumpkin shard slung at your face you'll look more orange than Sinbad.


Step 5: Make sure if you use a candle to cut enough ventilation (because technically you haven't opened any holes, you've only carved the skin).


Step 6: If you don't think a candle will be bright enough, I decided to cut a gap in the back and use a Maglite instead.


Step 7: Hang a sign by your front door that reads...


Happy Halloween! Go Dawgs!

Happy Halloween!

...from Concussion Tebow.







So I went dressed as Concussion Tebow for my church's Trunk or Treat yesterday. Overall I'd say it slayed. I only got called sacrilegious by one guy (who was an older Gator anyway) but he might have been referring to a testicle that may have popped out as I bent over to tie my shoe.

I got numerous compliments especially from a little kid who yelled out "Tebow wears jean shorts!" when he came to my truck. BTW any kid who yells anti-Florida rhetoric will get extra candy and bonus points from me.

The best part of the day was when a lady came up and said, "Mackie I thought you were a Georgia fan?" Apparently my costume was SO GOOD, she wasn't able to tell the difference between a Bulldog mocking the stereotype of Tim Tebow...and a real Florida fan.

Think of that when you dress like a zombie and don't hear "I didn't know you were the living dead?!?"

Finally to wrap this up, I wanted to let you know not a single penny went toward Florida Gator merchandise. I bought a plain blue sweatshirt from Wal-Mart, cut the sleeves off, and used iron-on graphics I printed off the interwebs. The jorts were made from blue jeans I had from highschool (plus a few washings to get the fray just right).

The only thing I lacked was a surgeon's mask and little bits of Phillipeno foreskin scattered about my jersey...then again, it's football season and it's hard to break away from not actually breaking Herschel Walker's record.

FML

...I believe this says it all.



6 wins to become bowl eligible. We are 3-3.

After seeing how we played Tennessee last weekend which of these, not named Tennessee Tech, look like a sure-thing?

Vandy (10.17)

Florida (10.31)

Tennessee Tech (11.07)

Auburn (11.14)

Kentucky (11.21)

Nerds (11.28)


With any luck, we win 4 of the last 6.

Redemption bonus: Win on Halloween or any game scheduled after Thanksgiving and I'll not completely banish this season from my memory.