Coach Derpboobs

...that is all.

Farewell, David Hale

I believe it was somewhere around Blogging Pantsless' 1 year anniversary. I'd gotten to the point where I felt I was pretty hot s#*% because I was averaging somewhere between 60-70 UNIQUE hits per day.

I don't remember what exactly I posted that day, but I saw my counter jump by 500 hits over the course of morning to noon. I immediately went to my log of referrals and saw 499 of them had come from David Hale's Bulldogs Blog.
My first thought was to write a post thanking him for the link and throwing a week's worth of traffic my way in one morning. My second thought was I probably shouldn't call opposing team's star players "gay" anymore if I'm going to be getting serious about this blogging non-sense.

But as it turned out, most Georgia fans are just as juvenile as I and enjoy the occasional name-calling so I kept it up. Though, I can't say how many...IF ANY, of my current readers came from being linked by David that day. But I can tell you his referral of Blogging Pantsless did A LOT toward motivating me to keep this train rolling. So for that, Mr. Hale...

...WE SALUTE YOU!

I say it's one of the South's greatest losses since General Bobby Lee. But have fun up in Philthadelphia covering those good for nothin' Philthies. I wish you mountains of prosperity, but may your baseball team lose EVERY SINGLE GAME until the franchise ships off to Las Vegas as a new team. God Speed, David. You will be missed around these parts.

You feel that? Your chest hair just grew 3 inches.

You can go read Todd Grantham's quotes over at the AJC if you want to get pumped about our 3-4 defense.

The man has a way with words, lets just hope his money's where his mouth is...and that his foot is where slacking defensemen pass solids.

But aside from that manliness, I was making my rounds and found a movie trailer that will make men drool and women cower in fear. That film would be The Expendables. Here are the acting participants:

-Bruce Willis
-Sylvester Stallone
-Dolf Lundgren
-Steve Austin
-Arnold Schwarzeneggar
-Jason Statham
-Jet Li
-Mickey Rourke
-Terry Crews

Throw in "Paradise City" being blared throughout a trailer full of explosions/gun-fights/car-chases and you'd better check for porn under his mattress because your little boy just vicariously became a man...and he's only 4 years old.

For every wife/girlfriend who took their man to Sex and the City, The Notebook, Letters to Juliet, or anything starring Matthew Mcconaughey...payback is a HARSH MISTRESS!

(h/t Lucid Idiocy)

A Question Raised

What makes Get the Picture one of the best Georgia blogs out there, is the fact that it's still technically football off-season and the article I read 2 days ago is already bumped to Older Posts on the next page...dayyyuuuuuuum.

But I was reading through this post the other day and contemplated writing something and just now got to it (...way to show initiative, Mackie).

The Senator covers some of Mike Bobo's comments regarding our lack of depth at QB. And at the conclusion of his post Blutarsky states:

"Sure would be nice if ULaLa were a thirty-point blowout with the bench getting emptied in the third quarter."

So that got me thinking, Aaron Murray is our starting QB without any NCAA career starts. We are opening up against a cupcake, so here's your hypothetical...

If we are blowing out the Ragin' Cajuns in the 3rd quarter, should we use that time to get Hutson Mason some snaps? I'm not overly concerned about the back-up QB situation, but GOD FORBID anything happen to Logan Gray as a wide receiver AND Murray bites the dust, our hopes & dreams rest on the laurels of a true freshman.
...but let it be known, he was a state record-setting, Tire Swing All-American.

So you guys play coach. Vote in the poll, top right. Keep in mind South Carolina is the following week, that's when $#!% gets REAL!

Georgia Tech Wallpaper

Did you know if you wanted to visually tell the world what a dork you are, you can go HERE and download a sassy wallpaper for your computer desktop?!?


Nothing says, "Hi ladies, have you seen my collection of Star Wars Pez Dispensers?" like a GT Football computer background.

But you wouldn't want that, would you? Of course not. Chances are, if you're reading my blog on your own free will, you are a Georgia fan and know what a boobie looks like...in real life.

That's why you download THIS wallpaper instead!

...and the jokes write themselves.

Why We Won't Lose to USC

It's getting to the point where before too much longer every Georgia fan (myself included) will being making bold predictions regarding the wins/loses of our beloved Dawgs for the 2010 season.

I'm seeing a trend that many fear our first lost will come at the hands of South Carolina.

Reasoning:
-Road Game, in one of the worst places to ever see a football game.
-No0b QB
-USC has an experienced team

-Our new defense hasn't faced an SEC opponent yet...well, technically true.

Our new defensive scheme will not have faced an SEC opponent. But our new Defensive Backs Coach, Scott Lakatos, coached the secondary of UConn last year and held the 'Cocks to 7 points and Stephen Garcia to a completion percentage of 42%.

So it is correct to say our new and (hopefully) improved defense hasn't faced a conference opponent. BUT to say our defensive coaching staff doesn't know what they're getting into couldn't be more wrong (which no one is saying, just thrown out for dramatics). Lets just hope Coach Lakatos kept his Trapper Keeper full of notes from UConn DC Todd Orlando, I think they'll come in handy.
GO DAWGS!

UGA/Tenn Arrest-off 2010!

Nothing took the spotlight off Damon Evans like the word-play associated with the arrest of Da'Rick Rogers and his band of merry outlaws.

Not to be outdone, Dontavious Jackson and Tavarres King, recent graduates from the Damon Evans School of Decision Making, saw a golden opportunity to get UGA athletics back in the headlines.

I know many of you might look at these headlines and shake your head thinking, "What has become of our beloved Bulldogs?" But I tell you, dear friends, if this formula holds true:

(Alcohol Arrests)-(Violent Crime)/non-starters > 0 = Futball Excelsiorz!

2010 looks to be a great year for the Dawgs. I hate losing players to athletic suspensions, and you definitely want your top talent against SEC opponents, but we didn't have any off-season arrests last Summer. This year our freakin' Athletic Director got canned for getting his swerve on (double entendre).

How can you not expect great things this year?!?

Where that little snot, Derrick Dooley made his mistake was thinking that face-stomping an off-duty cop increases team talent. That's a first-year SEC coach's mistake. Veterans like Coach Richt know non-violent crimes (MIPs, DUIs, beating up hospital signage, Emerging from alleys, and other scooter-related offenses) are where it's at. Bottom line, if you can't associate The Who's, Quadrophenia album cover to the offense...it probably won't make you play better.

I think it'll be interesting to see what Dooley does with Da'Rick who essentially MADE his recruiting class. You can bet your bottom dollar he's hoping for anything that allows him to pin this all on Darren Myles (who has already been dismissed) so he has reason to suspend Rogers for the opener against Tennessee-Martin. You want your 5-star recruits to learn their lesson before Oregon comes to town in week 2...pptptttt!

Either way, lets get through the remaining 54 days and take the field September 4th with the rest of our team, back-ups included, intact. GO DAWGS!

Gator Country

...there is a part of me that assumes this is just normal, everyday life down there.

Damon Evans Needs to Go

...damn, Damon.

It took less than 24 hours for all Hell to break loose on your "DUI". If the DUI was your biggest problem my post below would have stood. But from police reports it sounds like the DUI is going to be the least of your worries.

I'd say Mama Bear (far left) allowing your testicles to stay attached is #1.

AND, as I write this I get an update from AJC saying you've been canned. Way to go, pal. In one night you managed to get a DUI, get busted cheating on your wife, and lose your job. I would have let the DUI slide, but you've got to be a real dirtbag to cheat on your wife, family man. That's why the official position of Blogging Pantsless has performed an about face.

Have fun celebrating your Independence, Damon. You've let more people down than you realize, and to top it you've made me look like a fool for supporting you which is the WORST of all your offenses. I wanted to eat burgers today, not crow.

Why I Support Damon Evans

I'm sure since this story has broken you've read all sorts of posts with everyone's opinion regarding Damon. If you're looking at this now, you're about to get another one.

I'll preface this by saying it is incredibly stupid to drive when you are sloppy-drunk and have no business operating heavy machinery. What I won't do is crucify someone for getting a DUI who just blew a .081 because there isn't that much of a difference between a person with a B.A.C. of .079 and someone with .081. The only difference is the latter's life is screwed because our government established .08 as the legal limit and anything beyond is an offense that can be held over your head for the rest of your life.

I've never had a DUI, but I couldn't honestly tell you I haven't driven with questionable BAC levels. But I didn't have a breathalyzer to tell me, and Damon Evans didn't blow in one so we will never know if he was 3 beers or 10 beers into the evening.

I've told my wife numerous times that I would NEVER put our lives at risk and I'm man enough to tell her we need to sit at the restaurant drinking water and eating crackers for another hour if she can't take the wheel for us.

So that's where I stand on the D.U.I issue, we'll never know IF he was drunk or HOW drunk he was, but his mug-shot isn't going to do him any favors.

Which brings me to my next point...the mug-shot. The dude looks like he's about to fall over. Did the camera operator say, "Alright Damon, smile and say GO DAWGS!" and that was the best he could muster? I doubt it. Perhaps I'm going over the limit (no pun intended) of defending the guy, but if the angry, overweight woman at the DDS isn't going to give ME the heads-up to smile I'm not going to assume Damon was given a 3-2-1 countdown either.

The last point is the girl in the car. I can't help him on this one, it looks skeezy as hell to be a married man with bambinos driving around Atlanta with a 28 year old woman close to midnight. He says they're just friends, the only thing we'll know to counter that is if he told Mrs. Evans he's going out to pick up some "groceries"...and by groceries he meant Courtney Fuhrmann.

So, that's where I'm at on this. I can't see how one night of exposed personal life should wipe out 7 years of OUTSTANDING service to UGA athletics. Mark Bradley of the AJC thinks UGA should send him packing...I've thought many-a-time the AJC should send Mark Bradley packing for much lesser offenses.

It's a touchy subject, and I'm sure anyone who has been personally affected by the death of a loved one see's this through a different light. I've lost a child-hood acquaintance to a drunk-driver who blew through a stop sign after a softball game. But what "I" think of the situation doesn't matter, his fate doesn't depend on my approval. I'm glad he didn't resign, and I think if he were to be released from Georgia he'd find another school in a heartbeat because he's great at what he does. A black eye for the program that's for sure, but as someone who has been hit in the face MANY TIMES, I assure you black eyes heal.

If nothing else, we can turn this event into an a photoshop free-for-all and pretend what it would have been like if Damon had just been drinking at the fraternity houses instead.


Let me know if my stance is way outta line. I mean no harm to the program, but I think we're better WITH Damon than without him. And for those concerned about how he can possibly tell athletes not to Drink and Drive now...look at the media circus that's followed him since this story broke yesterday.

Oh, Damon.

The bright-side is, neither him or the dead hookers in the trunk were attempting to text while driving.

I'll admit, it really sucks to think we might lose a great Athletic Director over this...but so goes the world of unforgivable offenses.

...never gets old.

Herschel Walker Cuyler Them Dawgs Is Hell Don't They

Coach Richt: Soul Saver

A little while ago, my wife and I rented Facing the Giants. If you're familiar with the movie it's a pretty basic, low-budget football movie shot by a group out of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, GA.

My cousin recommended it and said Coach Richt made a guest appearance so that was enough for me...shoot, it's only $1/day from RedBox. But the movie was alright, the acting isn't going to win any awards and there were a few continuity issues, but it is what it is.

While I have SEVERAL theological issues with the storyline, I think most people of Christian belief can agree the movie means well. But I found this supplemental material on YouTube and wanted to share something I thought was interesting.



In reading the comments posted under this video, I came across this one:

That's why he can't win the big one. Too complacent. Too concerned with saving souls than winning games.

Of course opinions are like football conferences and this guy's is the ACC, but I'm as skeptical of fundamentalists as the next guy. Though the one thing I will never question regarding Coach Richt is his sincerity. Say what you will about his priorities, but I'll take a Coach Richt who never wins "the big one" over a Lane Kiffen who might dips#*t his way into a National Championship victory over Ohio State (once USC gets off probation).

That being said, I'm assuming terms that UGA football remains competitive in SEC play. I doubt even Jesus would keep his job as head coach if the Dawgs posted a string of losing seasons. (AND I SAY THAT KNOWING THAT JESUS WOULD NOT USE HIS MIRACLE POWERS TO WIN A GAME BECAUSE DESPITE WHAT TIM TEBOW'S EYE-BLACKS TOLD YOU JESUS DOESN'T CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL) I can hear the call in shows now, "Yeah Hondo, now I think Jesus is a great guy and he's my Lord & Savior and everything...but that call to go for it on 4th and long against LSU was just bad coaching. I'll hang up and listen to ye."

If I've offended your religious beliefs, I apologize. As football fans I think even Muslims would agree that Mark Richt is a helluva coach, regardless of his infidel status. I think it's his sincerity that recruits appreciate and they strive to perform well because you don't want to let the man down. So if he's not a great actor, I can look past that...but one thing you can't look past is that he's still a better actor than Urban Meyer.

Here's to Coach Richt, a damn good Dawg if you ask me.