Hey Ole Miss...DON'T BLOW IT!

It was the Fall of 2005. I had just graduated from college and was working at Hartsfield. I met numerous Boise State fans flying into town the week before college football started. They were flying in to take on our Georgia Bulldogs and we were nervous as hell.

Like Southern Miss decades ago, Boise State had a Giant Killer reputation...and it didn't help UGA was starting a Senior QB who had only seen playing time when David Greene was resting.

But I will always remember the day we learned DJ Shockley was the real deal, and it came by making Boise State's defense look foolish.
(the defense wasn't too bad lookin' either)

All-time Boise State is 0-4 against the SEC, and perhaps it's that unique conference pride we have, but I hope Ole Miss has their act together when they open the season against the Broncos in 2011.

I harbor no ill-will against the Broncos, but I'm not a fan. I didn't buy into Hawaii 2007, and I don't buy into Boise State in 2010. Preseason #2? Give me a break.

Blatant homerism aside, I'm not sure this is UGA's year to win the East (South Carolina fans are telling me it's FINALLY their year...pptptpttttt). But I do think of all the SEC teams there are maybe 4-or-5 who could knock off the Broncos. Of course to counter myself, the SEC hasn't faced the Blue Turf Horsies without Dan Hawkins behind the wheel.

On that note Chris Petersen is a helluva coach, and he's done wonders to recruit kids to play in BOISE, IDAHO. But I stand behind my POV that if Boise State were in a solid conference (PAC-10, maybe? "solid conference" used loosely) they'd be middle of the pack with the occasional upset win over USC, Stanford, Oregon or whichever team is supposed to be good that year.

I can admit I don't know enough about Ole Miss, nor do I care enough to research and find out what year Jevan Snead is. But I hope Colonel Reb, Admiral Ackbar, or Captain Giggity fields a team competent enough to not lose their opener against these guys. Pride on the line, fellas...don't blow it.

UPDATE: Apparently Boise State's coach in 2000 was Dirk Koetter when they lost to Arkansas...Hawkins was still an assistant. My bad.

Morning After Pill

I had 2 people offer me tickets to the Arizona State game. RARELY will I pass up free tickets to a Georgia game, but the stars aligned against me for Saturday's matchup. A rainy forecast in combination with a 7pm kickoff (which puts me back home in Marietta by Sunday) doesn't equal tons of fun for yours truly.

BEFORE YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS ABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU LET ME PREFACE IT WITH THE FACT I AM A TOTAL WHORE FOR GREAT SEATS.

I did end up going to the Tech/UNC game Saturday at noon. I was offered tickets by a church member who has club seats at Historic Mark Richt Field. We were 7 rows up on the 35 yd line with access to the club level and 2 free beers or glasses of wine (no Cokes, no hotdog, but free booze is better anyway). I remained neutral, I didn't cheer for Tech but I did clap whenever UNC had a big play. I wore red shorts, my University of Colorado 1990 National Champions t-shirt, and a black & red Grateful Dead hat. I only got a smattering of comments from under the breath of surrounding nerds (who were able to stop bitching about there not being WIFI in the stadium long enough to notice someone not wearing a variation of mustard yellow was seated around them). But I went, and had a relatively good time mocking all of Techs ...(COUGH)...."traditions".
Like the "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh-Oh" song, (you may know it as the annoying techno song played at Braves games after someone hits a homerun).

But anyway, back to the point I'd originally wanted to make...ah yes.

Georgia could easily be 0-4 right now. EASILY. 9 times out of 10 the better team prevails in a football game, and we've had our share of tough breaks. But I will tell you once again, you can't "lucky-bounce" your way into a winning season in the SEC. The turnovers are killing us and had we been playing one of the teams we are about face in the next 4 games (yes, Vandy too) we would be standing at the summit of Mount .500.

Other facts of note regarding the weekend in College Football:

-Joe Paterno coached a football game in the rain last night, I presume he will die of pneumonia by Thursday.

-LSU doesn't look quite as daunting after 2 successful goal-line stands against...wait...my notes say Mississippi State, that can't be right. Let me get back to you on this one.

-Alabama's defense held Arkansas to 7 points, yep, 7 points. AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!1

-#6 Cal lost to a bunch of clowns in glowing green neon prison jumpsuits.

-Phil Steele is full of @#$% and I'm never ever ever ever EVER allowing him to assist me in my Grill Topper Open picks...EVAH!

-I will never talk trash to Ally again regarding our Grill Topper Open picks.

-Tebow 3:16 got hauled away in an ambulance filled with crucifixes and holy water because Corch Irvin Meyers is a numbnuts who is trying to have his meal ticket break records instead of pulling him out with a 4 possession lead against KENTUCKY!

That's about all I got regarding everyone else's team. I plan to have a couple of subsequent posts up tomorrow, one about the good...and one about the bad of our boy's win. Can you guess which post will be longer?!? Until then, rejoice in the victory Dawg Nation...you never know if it will be your last.

America Loses Faith in USC

...apparently America knows something Las Vegas bookies don't.

Christmas

Well, I told you guys earlier I'd made out pretty dang good over the course of Christmas. So here, in no particular order (though the best ones seem to stay in the front of my mind) are some of the gifts I got.

#1. A banjo...you're damn right, a banjo!

(also pictured, a Rush 2112 album. WOOT WOOT!!1)

#2. Various reading material.

(you can never be too well informed)

#3. UGA grill cover and a UGA Grill Topper!

(now all my wieners shall be branded with "Georgia"...all of them)

#4. Underwear
(not pictured)
...funny story, I figured I wouldn't take a picture of the underwear I was given and look online for a skimpy man-thong or something to be funny. Little did I know if you go to google and do an image search for "man thong"...you don't get a picture of underwear laying out on the counter, you get male models...Ugh.

#5. Premium Booze

(...technically I purchased the 1792 for myself to look good with gift #6)

#6. Denture-shaped ice cube trays.

(Yep, these are just as cool as they sound. Also, looks badass in a lowball glass with 1792 and a splash of lemon concentrate)

#7. My sister back home...with gifts!

This flag actually flew in Iraq, how cool is that?!? She also gave me one of those middle-eastern lamps like from Aladdin but there wasn't a genie in it.

#8. A home office

delivered next Tuesday, should look like this.

#9. Defensive Pressure

I believe a thank you is in order for Coach Martinez. But don't be surprised if I'm looking for this again in the Fall, deliver the goods or you're back on my $#!t list.

Happy New Year to you, as of right now Ole Miss is pillaging all of Coach Leach's booty. That would be a great start to 2009 for the SEC. Regardless of what Quinton at Georgia Sports Blog thinks, I always cheer for the SEC. Don't get me wrong, I hate Florida as much as the next guy but I do believe in the strength of conference unity. Seeing the ACC lose 2/3 of their bowl games hurts their street cred. At the moment South Carolina has been the only dud of our conference. (anyone surprised though?) The Big 10 is a proven bust yet again this year, watching the Big 12 bite the dust after their pomp would be just as entertaining.

Remember, it's not GO 'DORES, HOTTY TODDY, GEAUX TIGAH'Z, ROLL TIDE, or GO GATORS...it's chanting "SEC, SEC, SEC..." in the face of other conferences. That's how I justify it, take it or leave it. However, I still bleed Red & Black and hate Urban Meyer as much as the next Dawg.

...now the healing starts.

What's the best way to get over a loss to your instate rivals? Aside from firing high caliber weaponry and hand-to-hand combat with a sheetrock wall, I like to take a much less sensible approach.

Seeing that it's been 8 years since I last had to cope with this feeling, I was like a lost dawg trying to find a home. So I turned to the only comfort I could find.

I drank a lot of booze and watched the beginning of ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas kickoff. It was a made for TV movie about Dennis the Menace helping Mr. Wilson to find the Christmas spirit...it was corny, awful, poorly executed, and exactly what I needed (the pint of Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream helped too).



Yes my soul hurts, but it can't possibly hurt as bad as a man who has no compassion for Christmas.

My only hope now is we somehow find a way to contain Beanie Wells. Because if we play water-gun coverage on Ohio State like we tried with Tech, we'll go down in history as the only SEC team Ohio State has beaten. And just so you know, there aren't any Christmas movies on television after Jan 1st, this could get ugly.

Go Dawgs, Fire Willie.

Aw Hell.

...well, that sucked.

The worse parts of the loss?

1. The kind of day Mo Mass had we couldn't reward his last game between the hedges with a "W".

2. Terence Moore called it, so either we'll get a column with him gloating, or complaining about the lack of black coaches in the SEC (since Sylvester Croomed himself).

3. We obviously didn't field a very good scout team with our week off to prepare for the triple option.

4. I gotta hear about it at church tomorrow.

5. I can't joke about the triple option anymore this year...because it beat us.

The good news?

1. Tech didn't win their Division.

2. Having Tech score 45 points against us might speed up the departure of Willie Martinez.

3. We still don't play in the ACC.

4. I just saw a clip of the weather in Tallahassee, at least I'm not sitting in that quagmire.Pneumonia for Tebow? Alllll riiiiight!

Aside from all that garbage, does anyone know why we wouldn't try for an on-side kick with 4 minutes left? Given the fact our defense stopped Tech a whopping one time in the second half I figured we would at least try to keep our offense on the field.

It was a sloppy game, on a sloppy field, and we couldn't get the job done. But we only lost by 3 and that's within a pick 6's margin of error. Best of luck to the seniors, Knowshon, and Matthew next year wherever their career choice lands them. I just hate we're going to see Matthew Stafford in a Lions jersey next year (perhaps that will be enough to get him to stick around for another season???).

OOOO, I almost forgot, that was a HORSESH@# intentional grounding call...okay, now I'm done.

Florida on Upset Alert

I distinctly remember this commercial for Sportscenter last night with an intro something like...

"Up next, Steve Spurrier might have the Gators on upset alert. On Sportscenter, next!"



...yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt!



...OJ might be innocent.



...John Gruden might coach at Tennessee next year.



...popsicles might just mean popsicles.



...I might (be a vegetarian) and/or (start growing hair again). I couldn't decide which ball to run with so I went with both.



...these guys might ____________________ . (please feel free to come up with your own in the comment section. I'll get you started!)

Finally Friday

Posting will probably be light today. I've got a ton of work to do before I leave the office to get my gayness-on at Wicked tonight, THEN drive down to Callaway Gardens for the weekend. I'm sure if I get burned out I'll throw some stuff up later, but I wouldn't bank on much informative stuff today...or ever really.

If there was any news of awesomeness it's that my Mom's alma mater assisted in knocking a team out of UGA's way last night. So thanks TCU, you showed those Mormons who's boss! Poor Coach Mendenhall had to tuck his tail and return home to the wives & kids with his winning streak broken. I have no problem with either school, but in general I cheer against the team ranked ahead of the Dawgs.

Again, congratulations TCU, I'm sure my mom didn't even know you guys had a football team much less beat a Top 10 ranked opponent, but deep down inside she's going to be a little happier...because I'm happier, and she loves her baby boy.

GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

OK State

Zack Robinson; hair as black as coal, played a game as clean as zero-emission wind turbine energy.

T. Boone smiles and lights a cigar with a $100 bill.

Thanks Coach!

I'm a Pitt fan whenever you play someone ranked ahead of the Dawgs, and I might be the only person you never seem to let down, thanks Dave!