UGA Pumpkin

Last year I had a blast carving the Knowshon pumpkin. I asked for suggestions this year, but my talent level is somewhere slightly less than "A ref with his head in his ass" and "Two thumbs up Willie" Unfortunately outside of AJ Green saving our collective tails week-in and week-out, there haven't been too many memorable moments captured in photograph...so I figured I would turn back the clock this year.

Step 1: Choose a favorite Bulldog memory...


Step 2: Tape it down and use a nail to outline the graphic puncturing the skin JUST ENOUGH to leave an outline...


Step 3: Look at it...(this step isn't necessary, but I had a picture to take up space so I'm using it).


Step 4: Use a rotary tool to scrape around the punctured outline of your pumpkin graphic. I'd suggest using eye protection because after you're done there will be so much pumpkin shard slung at your face you'll look more orange than Sinbad.


Step 5: Make sure if you use a candle to cut enough ventilation (because technically you haven't opened any holes, you've only carved the skin).


Step 6: If you don't think a candle will be bright enough, I decided to cut a gap in the back and use a Maglite instead.


Step 7: Hang a sign by your front door that reads...


Happy Halloween! Go Dawgs!

JERRY!! JERRY!!! JERRY!!!

It appears Junior has taken a page out of the Mackalicious Guide to Surviving Prison, as seen here.

For those of you unfamiliar with my guide, it is as follows:

Step 1.
Enter prison.

Step 2.
Locate a small length of metal pipe. (pick it up)

Step 3.
Locate the meanest MF'r of all your fellow inmates.

Step 4.
Walk up to said inmate and swing that pipe as hard as you can at his mouth.

Step 5.
(as he lays stunned & bleeding) Loudly proclaim, "I AIN'T NOBODY'S BITCH AND I'M NOT GONNA GET BUTT RAPED!"

Step 6.
Immediately start getting butt raped because people see through your guise and know you're just a scared little boy out of his element.

Oh well, I don't plan on going to prison anytime soon.

However, Lane Kiffin is talking a MUCH bigger game than he ought to be at this point. I prefer Coach Richt's approach of speak softly and carry a big stick. That way if you get your salad tossed (by a team of Wyoming's calibre) every once and a while you're not stuck eating your words.

Also it is reported officials from the University of Alabama are relieved the Knoxville Newshounds have found another violations whipping boy to focus their attention on.