Tax Day

I'd like to write a quick post today regarding something I have little to no respect for. That would be our governing tax system.

The first year my wife and I were married, we ended up cleaning out our first year of savings in order to pay our first tax bill together. I will accept blame for this because neither of us had any idea how to properly fill out a W-4 form. Combine that with our status of Married filing separately and we pretty much shot ourselves in the foot.

If you're a liberal or a conservative I can't imagine it matters much, tax season sucks. Since our first mishap I've become more educated in the vast details of our tax system and set out with a personal vendetta against it. That's why even though I think Sean Hannity is somewhat of a D-bag I'll be in Atlanta tonight protesting our country's tax policy.

I've looked at several other plans and personally I find the FairTax to be the most beneficial for the country. The funny thing is I hear people say they like the idea but it'll never happen. Did you ever think the country would be borrowing money from China to give its residents as a "stimulus"? Did you ever think the government would be the main shareholder in any banking operation? Did you ever think your tax money would be helping companies with bad business models continue to do what drove them toward bankruptcy to begin with?

...then don't tell me the FairTax will never happen.

Job growth would explode, take-home income across the country increases, the government still gets the funding it needs to operate, and (for you bleeding hearts out there) the poor are still taken care of.

So take just a minute today and imagine what it would be like to actually take home your full paycheck. Someone making 35,000 per year under the FairTax actually takes home more than someone making $50,000 per year under our current system (unless my math is WAAAAY off). Imagine not being taxed on inheritance from deceased relatives (who have already paid tax on their possessions). Imagine the job growth as the United States becomes a haven for businesses looking to run a more effective operation without payroll, business, and operational taxes.

If you want to see how this would benefit you, click here for the FairTax Calculator.

The whole deal is much bigger than I can cover in a blog post, but do some research. If you think it doesn't effect you because you get money back, you need to get educated. Hopefully people are getting passionate about this stuff because complacency never accomplished anything. These are your elected officials we're talking about, they work because we allowed them to get the job. Let's make sure they're working for us.

So I'm sorry I'm not covering any sports news this morning. Did you really want me to bitch about the Braves/Dawgs losing? I didn't think so.

How to Piss Your Wife Off on Valentine's Day

...that was easier than I thought.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I think dropping $80 + shipping for a teddy bear is necessarily a BAD idea. My issue comes with the fact that any woman who isn't 6 years old could possibly be woo-ed by a stuffed animal (regardless of the occupational outfit it's wearing).

In total opposition to the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. I offer a list of $80 alternative gifts that might be more useful.

1. Vacuum cleaner.

2. A massage (you can find women on Craiglist who will barter a massage for ROSES instead of CASH!)

3. Gym membership.

4. Eighty double cheeseburgers (which you could trail back to the bedroom from the front door for a naughty surprise!)

5. $80 cash

6. iTunes giftcard so she doesn't have to hear you talk about football all Summer.

7. Speaking of football...Georgia Tech season tickets + hotdogs & Cokes! HEEY-OOooO!

8. A giftcard to a clothing store named after a woman (Ann Taylor or Lane Bryant) she'll love either one!

9. Guitar Hero: World Tour.

10. Cocaine

Yep, by my count any of those 10 would be more useful than a stupid teddy bear from a stupid state. Serious, beside Ben & Jerry's what has Vermont done for you lately?

They've got a LeFevour, and the only perscription is...

...more cowbell?

So, I hear on AM750 this morning CMR pulling LeFevour's meat about how he was as good as Tebow production-wise (27 passing TDs / 19 rushing TDs) but because of what Tebow did by himself he wasn't getting the coverage. He also said their spread offense is similar to Southern's but they aren't trying to break in rookie QBs.

Well, when I go up to Athens this Saturday here is what I want to see.

1. A beautiful day (right now they have Hanna pulling a Reggie Ball and choking out just north into Charleston) but it should be mostly sunny, high of 89 come game time.

2. Willy Martinez lighting a fire in the jock-straps of his defense. I want to see LeFevour on his back more than (current popular ho-bag) at (place where current popular ho-bags go to get laid). None of this opening day BS where we're jumping offsides 14 times before the ball is snapped. No seams, no gaps in coverage, no scores in their column that aren't multiples of 3 and it better not break two digits...bottom line. This game is a great opportunity to impress this guy.

3. Get Knowshon in there, let him score 3 TDs to keep his stats up, then take him out. We saw Caleb King, AJ Green, and Richard Samuel be competent guys on offense so let them get some reps in. Keep Knowshon healthy for conference games...please.

4. More on-the-job training for Blair Walsh. You know what happens to Tennessee @ UCLA if they have a competent kicker? I guarantee you it wouldn't result with Fat Phil eating his weight in calzones at the California Pizza Kitchen Monday night to "kill the pain". Their guy was missing distance shots Walsh was splitting 50/50 last weekend. I'd really like to see him give it a shot around the 50 yard line going into the half...just for craps & giggles.

5. Coach Richt to take our ranking downgrade to heart. Yeah, I've heard a lot of response about how we should be glad we're not #1 anymore, but you know what? I've also had Marshall Applewhite tell me black Nike's and UFO-comets kick ass but I ain't buyin' it so stop trying to sell it.

Don't be upset, my child. Here, have some Kool-Aid and watch Ohio State play Ohio.

I think we should approach this just like the Hawaii match-up. If they want to see a real team play, we need to take the Dawgs off the leash. We've fed the boys a cup cake, now it's time to throw 'em some red meat.

Tentatively I'm calling it UGA 40+, CMU <10...what do you guys think?

...geez.

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Paul over at Georgia Sports Blog has the story, but pretty much here's the summary...

USC beat a crappy team in a crappy conference in an away game with a final score of 599-1. Coach Richt beat a crappy Div I-AA team at home 45-21 getting a ton of freshmen playing time for the upcoming Apocalypse called the SEC regular season schedule just in case he's got to go deep into position players.


Bottom line, Zack Morris accidentally killed Slater's pet lizard, Artie, and tried to replace it with another one while Slater was on vacation. The only difference is that in this episode Slater comes back to town and rewards Zach with the #1 ranking because he's two stupid to realize Zack Morris killed his best friend and successfully passed a new lizard off as a real football team...

Okay, yeah, this post might be pretty lame. But it surely isn't as gay as 3 teams winning over unranked pee-on opponents and both #1 UGA and #2 Ohio State getting jumped by #3 USC.

"Yeah but USC actually played a 1A opponent..."

Don't try to justify this...I'm not listening.

Alls I know is CMR should be using this as a tool so his boys know to knock the ever lovin' shart outta' Central Michigan next Saturday while USC is taking a bye week. Because if we do that and the rankings don't immediately flip back into our favor then I'm going over to Jessie Spanos' house and downing her entire bottle of caffeine pills before running down to Mr. Belding's yard and dance the running man butt-nekkid scream-singing "I'M SO EXCITED, AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT!" at the top of my lungs.

gay.gay.gay.gay.gay.