Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu 2K9 Pandemic Watch Alert!!1

So seriously how did all the coeds from Tennessee get sick at once?!?!


Seriously though, this if virus can take down Bea Arthur no one is safe...hold on...I'm getting an update on this story...yes....uh huh.....alright, my mistake. I apologize, apparently is wasn't swine flu that took down Maude, it was details coming though but I'm assuming it was cancer of the prostate. Rose, Blanche, and Sophia could not be reached for comment...

Congratulations to Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno for getting their draft on in the first round. It's great publicity for the Dawgs and big dolla'-dollaz for the two players. It'll be interesting to see how they grow through the system of their respective teams. Can Knowshon still be the first one up off the ground when there are five 400lb defensemen laying on him??? Will Matthew's big arm be able to help Detroit win 1 frickin' game?!?! It'll be great fun to watch and I think I heard the Falcons open up with a scrimmage game against the Lions.

Finally, I was challenged by a Florida Gator to call out our boy, Stafford. And I ain't skuurd.

Matthew Stafford knew he was going to be the first to be drafted overall. He knew he was a pastey white boy. Finally, he put 2 and 2 together to realize he was going to be getting his picture taken ALOT for the event. So what does he do???

He caked on make-up to a depth that rivaled most pre-pubescent tween girls when they first discover foundation...that's what he did.

Do I blame him? Nope. Do I think he looks a little silly? Yep. But if he wants to look like Clayface from Batman the Animated Series while he makes enough money to turn me gay...that's his business.
He will throw a football through you, Calvin Johnson...right. through. you.

Working from home today. They are tearing my roof off my house to replace 3 layers of shingles with just 1 layer. I figured if I had 3 layers of shingles on my house there is no way I'd ever get a leak (you know, taking the idea of "double-bagging" to a third level). This however was incorrect and downright stupid now that I think about it. So, check me out on Twitter throughout the day and I'll try to post some pics as progress...progresses.

Happy Monday, you lucky S.O.B.s!


Fake TT said...

It should be noted that one needs to click on the Stafford picture to and see it at a larger size to really appreciate Matthew's new look.

Bernie said...

I heard some of that foundation rubbed off of Erin Andrews when they were...uhhh...canoodlin'.

So I give him a pass.