Monday, April 6, 2009


The Bravos opened their baseball season in Philthadephia last night. It's a fun thing to watch and I hate my intensity for the sport begins to waiver once the silver britches take a different field 73 miles Northeast.

There was something different about Bobby Cox's boys last night. I personally see this year as a clean slate because we made many changes which many saw as being unpopular (and the hate for Frank Wrens rained down like R. Kelly at a highschool prom). New faces littered the field and the guys looked like they were having fun together.

Here's a quick rundown of things I learned...

1. Derek Lowe was THE MAN last night.

2. The HGH Jordan Schafer got busted with didn't help much.

Mainly because he looked like me wearing a Braves uniform. The biggest difference? I couldn't hit a homerun against the Phillies best pitcher in my first major league at bat. Also, I couldn't single up the middle against him my second time at the plate. Finally, I doubt they would pitch around me my third at bat. This kid has the opportunity to be something special, I just wish he didn't look like such a total douchenozzle. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but seriously...the guy looks like he'd be a total bastard if you ran into him in a public setting. Then again, opinions are like noses and mine are big and Jewish-looking.

3. Jeff Francoeur is a lot cuter when he doesn't groundout into an inning-ending double play.

You know what? I'm totally straight, I dig boobs, but I'm not afraid to have a man-crush. My wife is completely cool with it and I've come to accept it as a part of normal male adulthood. It doesn't mean I want to sword-fight with the guy, I think a man-crush is more of a "dude I'd like to hang with" sort of thing. Three to four years ago when Jeffrey broke out on the scene I had much respect for the guy. Then he got fat and the strikeout to double play ratio got way too high and I dropped Jeff in favor of former Atlanta Thrasher Marian Hossa.

4. Hey, speaking of fat & striking out anyone miss this guy???

...nope? Alrighty!

That's about all I've got, aside from the overwhelming amount of sucktitude the ESPN broadcasters bring to the table the game was fun to watch. However listening to Joe Morgan and Wrongname McQueerballs stumble over awkward silences and calling players by the wrong name is borderline painful. In Heaven, Skip Carey just made a couple exceptions to his "Don't step on downed powerlines" PSA.

Quick football thought:

5 days until G-Day...I was mulling over whether or not I'd think making Red vs Black actually Red jerseys vs Black jerseys would be cool. Have people completely lost faith in how cool the black jerseys looked? I'm of the opinion if we are to wear them once this year it should be the G-Day game, not actually against competition. Bring them back to competitive play in 2010 after the 2008 Bama game is a distant memory. Poll @ top right, let me know Dawg Nation.


Anonymous said...

Dude, I seriously thought I was going to throw something at my brand new LCD. I eventually muted Joe Morgan and did play by play by myself. It was at least as good, but with fewer Sparky Anderson references.

Mackalicious said...

"...I really think Logan Schafer is going to be something special. Logan Schafer, Logan Schafer, Logan Schafer...oh wait...his name is Jordan?"

The Tri Runner said...

"Jeff Francoeur is a lot cuter when he doesn't groundout into an inning-ending double play."

you got that right. if jeff can not do that this year the braves will be just fine.

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Josh G. said...

The Braves looked good last night, like competitors. It's only one game, but I haven't been this pumped about a Braves season in a long time. I hope they stay competitive at least until the end of August, so I can get my fan-jeeblies tickled until kickoff against the 42 year old man.

Mackalicious said...

I'll give you that Josh G.

He's a man, he's 42.