Braves/Phils

The Bravos opened their baseball season in Philthadephia last night. It's a fun thing to watch and I hate my intensity for the sport begins to waiver once the silver britches take a different field 73 miles Northeast.

There was something different about Bobby Cox's boys last night. I personally see this year as a clean slate because we made many changes which many saw as being unpopular (and the hate for Frank Wrens rained down like R. Kelly at a highschool prom). New faces littered the field and the guys looked like they were having fun together.

Here's a quick rundown of things I learned...

1. Derek Lowe was THE MAN last night.



2. The HGH Jordan Schafer got busted with didn't help much.


Mainly because he looked like me wearing a Braves uniform. The biggest difference? I couldn't hit a homerun against the Phillies best pitcher in my first major league at bat. Also, I couldn't single up the middle against him my second time at the plate. Finally, I doubt they would pitch around me my third at bat. This kid has the opportunity to be something special, I just wish he didn't look like such a total douchenozzle. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but seriously...the guy looks like he'd be a total bastard if you ran into him in a public setting. Then again, opinions are like noses and mine are big and Jewish-looking.


3. Jeff Francoeur is a lot cuter when he doesn't groundout into an inning-ending double play.


You know what? I'm totally straight, I dig boobs, but I'm not afraid to have a man-crush. My wife is completely cool with it and I've come to accept it as a part of normal male adulthood. It doesn't mean I want to sword-fight with the guy, I think a man-crush is more of a "dude I'd like to hang with" sort of thing. Three to four years ago when Jeffrey broke out on the scene I had much respect for the guy. Then he got fat and the strikeout to double play ratio got way too high and I dropped Jeff in favor of former Atlanta Thrasher Marian Hossa.


4. Hey, speaking of fat & striking out anyone miss this guy???

...nope? Alrighty!


That's about all I've got, aside from the overwhelming amount of sucktitude the ESPN broadcasters bring to the table the game was fun to watch. However listening to Joe Morgan and Wrongname McQueerballs stumble over awkward silences and calling players by the wrong name is borderline painful. In Heaven, Skip Carey just made a couple exceptions to his "Don't step on downed powerlines" PSA.

Quick football thought:

5 days until G-Day...I was mulling over whether or not I'd think making Red vs Black actually Red jerseys vs Black jerseys would be cool. Have people completely lost faith in how cool the black jerseys looked? I'm of the opinion if we are to wear them once this year it should be the G-Day game, not actually against competition. Bring them back to competitive play in 2010 after the 2008 Bama game is a distant memory. Poll @ top right, let me know Dawg Nation.

How to Piss Your Wife Off on Valentine's Day

...that was easier than I thought.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I think dropping $80 + shipping for a teddy bear is necessarily a BAD idea. My issue comes with the fact that any woman who isn't 6 years old could possibly be woo-ed by a stuffed animal (regardless of the occupational outfit it's wearing).

In total opposition to the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. I offer a list of $80 alternative gifts that might be more useful.

1. Vacuum cleaner.

2. A massage (you can find women on Craiglist who will barter a massage for ROSES instead of CASH!)

3. Gym membership.

4. Eighty double cheeseburgers (which you could trail back to the bedroom from the front door for a naughty surprise!)

5. $80 cash

6. iTunes giftcard so she doesn't have to hear you talk about football all Summer.

7. Speaking of football...Georgia Tech season tickets + hotdogs & Cokes! HEEY-OOooO!

8. A giftcard to a clothing store named after a woman (Ann Taylor or Lane Bryant) she'll love either one!

9. Guitar Hero: World Tour.

10. Cocaine

Yep, by my count any of those 10 would be more useful than a stupid teddy bear from a stupid state. Serious, beside Ben & Jerry's what has Vermont done for you lately?

You May Not Know It But...

...this is what Bobby Johnson looks like when he smiles.

Congratulations Commies, break out the ascots because you're going bowling! (and not lawn bowling like you're used to or the wretched alley bowling us common folk masquerade)

...one more thing about Kentucky

I'll admit I wasn't happy about the Kentucky game even though we won, but let me drop this bug in your ear.



I very well may be the only one making this correlation, and let me say for the record I DO NOT think the two are comparable on the level of importance to Bulldog history, but...

When I saw the first play of the TD drive where Stafford connected with MoMass for 77yds, a little piece of me was screaming "RUN LINDSAY!". Of course Buck Belue to Lindsay Scott will forever be one of the best moments in UGA football, but other than MoMass not making the most of his blocker, this would have been a similar situation. We would be on the verge of losing a game we should have won and in the final minutes we get a huge play for huge yardage.

I know they are completely different situations (so don't give me that crap about the Dawgs playing for an undefeated season during the Run Lindsay! call), but if I was over the fact we haven't lived up to our potential and was able to appreciate the Kentucky win for what it truly was (a pretty damn entertaining game), then I might be willing to underscore the silliness of the whole thing. I just know this would have been one of the moments a healthy Larry Munson would have been worth his weight in Munson's Greatest Calls DVDs had he been in Lexington last weekend.

FOLLOW UP: Does anyone have the Scott Howard audio to this drive?

Also, I love the Kentucky fan in the bottom right hand corner at minute 2:15-2:16 who appears to try and reach into the sky to grab the sun and then slam it to the ground once it becomes clear AJ Bryant...I mean AJ Green caught the pass. LOVE IT!

What time will it be in Arizona?

This is what the bottom of my analysis barrel looks like...

I know a lot of teams who travel West to play games complain about the time change. I saw our team won't be leaving until Friday to prepare for the game the following night. If you noticed our game-time is 8:00pm EST; out in Tempe, AZ the gametime will be 5:00pm MST.

In the map above Mountain Standard is the small orange-colored time zone which runs on the same time as Pacific Standard (3 hours ahead of us EST people). However, based on my extremely limited knowledge of general geography, the 5 o'clock gametime in Arizona is going to look/feel like a 6 o'clock gametime according to people in Utah, most of Idaho, and western Montana.

I've been to Las Vegas before, and I know all about the "dry-heat" out in the desert. Once, I decided I wanted to see the famous Welcome to Las Vegas sign and decided it was no big deal to walk to it from my hotel, New York, New York, around lunch-time...

I took this picture...you might be able to see the hotel if you squint.

So yeah, it's hot as balls out there, but the difference between 12-noon and the atmospheric equivalent of 6pm is literally night & day...heh, get it?!?

I'm not worried about the heat or the time, I'm worried about us not showing up to play. Georgia should man-handle the Sun Devils, keyword SHOULD.

Any thoughts/concerns from you guys?