Sorry for the light posting...PPPTTpTtppttt. Sorry couldn't pull that off with a straight face. Been busting my tail with work, travel, and fine tuning my yet-to-be-picked-up television pilot where I dress up as an old white woman, say crotchety old things to young folks, and have a bunch of mis-pronounced catchphrases...OH LERRRD!
But every year I do a UGA themed pumpkin. This year I originally had a stencil for a Wrath of Todd Grantham pumpkin, but decided against it. Too much detail, not enough motivation, so instead I decided to do a funny clown!
If you're familiar with Muschamp Stare... ...then you'll LOVE...
...MusCHUMP Stare Pumpkin!
Just a warning for the children who come to our door for candy this year, if you stand in front of Muschump Stare Pumpkin for too long the eyes will burn the phrase "BOOM MOTHERF%#KER" across your forehead. Not a good idea if you plan on having a professional career one day.
...and as always, I'll provide the official Halloween sign for Dawg Fans to be printed out and nailed to your front door.
Anytime bloggers write a letter to the fanbase telling them to chill the 'eff out, it means they have doubts...such doubts.
But as a Georgia fan, who has endured losses to Mississippi State and Colorado, I would like to let the Gator fans know that if they want my sympathy they can find it in the dictionary between "s#*t" and "syphilis".
If I have to hear another Georgia fan telling me I picked a bad year to go to my first Cocktail Party I'm going to start handing out kicks to the sac like it's already Halloween.
Georgia fans have apparently turned into cutters.
I know cautious optimism is the best route, especially when playing the #1 team in the country, AND it being a series we haven't dominated in QUITE A WHILE. But for the most part you guys are comparing the Cocktail Party to forgetting your "safeword" (oh make it stop!)
Did anyone think Florida State would beat BYU? Did anyone think Junior had a shot of even keeping it close last weekend? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
HELL NO!
We play the games for a reason and I'm not assuming we'll win but I can point directly at 3 SEC games the Gators could have lost. Georgia will have to play loose, play consistent(ly good), and play with some balls, but we've got as good a shot as any to shock the world this weekend.
Poo poo it all you want Emo Dawgs, but we've got nothing to lose and the Gators haven't been as good as advertised. They'll get 4 fresh defensemen back from injury, but our players are so focused on this game they have resorted to ignoring the laws of man and traffic.
I've got a $50 bottle of booze riding on this game due to a bet I made 3 years ago and I'm not willing to let go of it without a fight. So hunker down you hairy Dawgs! Lets send "The Greatest Player of Our Era" into the CFL next year with a 1 and 2 record as a starter against his biggest SEC rival!
See you in Jacksonville tomorrow and keep a cold one in the cooler for me because I'll be making my rounds. For all the Dawgs with puppies who couldn't miss Halloween I understand. All I ask is you DVR the evening news Saturday to catch my mugshot, because as Munson said it best, "MAN, is there gonna be some property destroyed tonight!"
So I went dressed as Concussion Tebow for my church's Trunk or Treat yesterday. Overall I'd say it slayed. I only got called sacrilegious by one guy (who was an older Gator anyway) but he might have been referring to a testicle that may have popped out as I bent over to tie my shoe.
I got numerous compliments especially from a little kid who yelled out "Tebow wears jean shorts!" when he came to my truck. BTW any kid who yells anti-Florida rhetoric will get extra candy and bonus points from me.
The best part of the day was when a lady came up and said, "Mackie I thought you were a Georgia fan?" Apparently my costume was SO GOOD, she wasn't able to tell the difference between a Bulldog mocking the stereotype of Tim Tebow...and a real Florida fan.
Think of that when you dress like a zombie and don't hear "I didn't know you were the living dead?!?"
Finally to wrap this up, I wanted to let you know not a single penny went toward Florida Gator merchandise. I bought a plain blue sweatshirt from Wal-Mart, cut the sleeves off, and used iron-on graphics I printed off the interwebs. The jorts were made from blue jeans I had from highschool (plus a few washings to get the fray just right).
The only thing I lacked was a surgeon's mask and little bits of Phillipeno foreskin scattered about my jersey...then again, it's football season and it's hard to break away from not actually breaking Herschel Walker's record.
10.31.2009 Gators (Neutral) Where to start with this?
First, it's hard to argue when these guys are on your side. AC/DC recently added a show in Jacksonville for Friday night, October 30th. How do I know they'll cheer for Georgia? Compare everything Tim Tebow stands for with everything AC/DC stands for. I'm sure Nickleback or Creed will schedule locally so the jean-short faithful will have something to do Friday night.
Florida enters this game after a 3 game stretch @LSU, Arkansas, and @Miss State. LSU has the best shot of beating Florida, Arkansas and Mississippi State will both lose (regardless of what Dan Mullen knows). My hope is this run takes a toll on the Gators. I hope Tebow has to run directly into 300 lb. defensive linemen for three straight weeks (according to Thom Brennaman their lives will be better for it). I don't want injuries, I want weariness.
I want the Gators to enter this football game knowing they've owned us for 16 of the last 19 games. I hope they're still #1. I hope they've got a big ol' jug of Kool-Aid they're drinking on the sideline. I want their confidence to be a mile high in this game, because for once I think we've got the fire.
No stats or reasoning, because there is no reason we should win this game.
No gameplan, because the gameplan is to play Georgia Football.
No excuses for not being prepared.
Mark Richt will coach us into Jacksonville.
This guy will do his thing.
But this... ...will be the face you'll see on the front of the AJC November 1st when the Bulldogs shock the world.
I've been plugging away at work trying to get as much done as possible so that's my excuse for no posting. To make it up to you I'm dumping some links out on the table...
Per the Senator, these things will be the target of endless ridicule. I respectfully disagree, but only for lampoon purposes. I believe this idea is created for the same people who get a kick out being tacky, such as myself. If they ever slapped a UGA logo on a BabyBjorn I'd be all over the idea of spawning a child just to carry it around.
Coach Richt is seeking an NCAA waiver to attend the graduation of Chris Burnette. Being that I spent the 4 wildest years of my life in Troup County (for college), I assume Chris isn't the same kind of douchebag townie highschool kid who would come to our fraternity house asking for beer and wanting to hang out. He didn't make Valedictorian like we thought he would, but you can't complain when when a recruit is hanging with the top.
President Obama just gave me enough non-political incentive to dislike him with the picture on this page.
I wish the best for Matthew Stafford, I really do. I'm a bit torn though. While I want UGA to have a former QB be the 1st overall pick in the 2009 draft...I really don't want him in Detroit. Me thinks 85% Detroit selects the Texas native as their new face, but just knowing what awaits him makes me a little disappointed. However, I think it'd be hilarious if he intentionally didn't throw to Calvin Johnson (even though he's my only hope of the Lions making this selection a good thing).
Finally, this weekend holds great promise of me doing something stupid and it being televised. Mrs. Mackalicious will be running in the 2009 chickEKIDEN 26.2 Mile Relay up in Gainesville tomorrow morning. I'll be going with her just to cheer on the sidelines. My first order of business will be to land a spot near the Georgia Traveler TV cameras. Georgia Traveler is a show on GPTV that highlights random stuff around the state. I'll let you know when it airs and if I made any high/low-lights.
So thanks for the timeoff, I should be back on my game next week.
This garbage comes up every year, unfortunately by Georgia fans.
I'll be making my first trip to Jacksonville this year. I think one of the most exciting aspects of college football is going to a football game AWAY from your stadium (be it neutral site or not) and winning outside of your friendly confines. Yes, we haven't done a terribly good job of doing that the last 20 years, but you don't chance the tradition until you change your record. If we bitch and moan about moving the site while we're losing the game 4 out of every 5 years we look like a bunch of Yella' Fellas (sorry Osmose).
No problem Mackie, hey hows that deck coming?
Vince Dooley didn't need to play Florida at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, Coach Richt doesn't need to play the Gators in the Dome. What we need to do is stop pooping our pampers at the aura of a football team every year. We don't lose homefield advantage if a stadium is half red pants and half jean shorts between the goalposts.
From what I gather from the diehard fans who make the trek every year, half the fun is skipping a 1/2 week of work (WED), driving down to St. Simons for golf and beach time (THURS/FRI), tailgating & catching the game (SAT), confessing sins against your fellow man and driving home (SUN).
What's say we start wearing our ovaries on the outside and play some dad-blamed football?!?!
Yes, this was just a trip to the dentist for a young Gators fan (who is high as a kite). However, judging by his affinity for said college team, I doubt this is the last time you'll ever hear a drunken roar from this little guy.
So if this kid is approximately 8 years old, I'll expect to see him in 6 more stumbling up to my tailgate in Jacksonville screaming "You fags don't know how to drink some beers! Here, give me that, I'll show you how to drink some beers! I'M THE KING OF THE BEACH, RRAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHRRRRRRR!!!"
The character of Patrick Bateman may have coined a phrase regarding "That Yale Thing". However, I find the quote (cited in 2000, referencing 1987) more accurately pertains to the University of Florida (2009).
Today in a press conference Tim Tebow made the decision to stick around for his senior year at Florida. I imagine the press conference went a little something like this...
"Thanks everyone for showing up, I'd like to first start off with a prayer... (Tim recites lengthy prayer)...alright.
I guess you all are wondering why I called you all here today. Well, I wanted to let all my fans know, I've prayed about it for a long time...in fact...I'm gonna pray about it again right now (Timmy kneels down, bows his head...whispers, stands back up to mic).
Alright guys, I've talked to God, my family, my coach, and my boyfriend and I've decided to return to Florida for another season of football.
(Florida press goes nuts)
Alright, alright. I just wanted to say the main reason behind by decision to stay was because I felt God wanted me to stay and get my degree before I begin my pro career. The second most important reason was all the phone sex I receive from Kirk Herbstreit. Finally, knowing that Mackalicious from Blogging Pantsless would point a gun to his head anytime reporters started stroking their meat over me in a CBS backstory was all the motivation I needed to hang around one more season.
Actually, the phone sex with Herbie might be number 3...after all, it could be worse. I hear Clausen hates when Dr. Lou calls...poor little guy.
But I'd like to answer a few questions.
(ESPN's Mark Schlabach raises hand)
Mark: Timmy, how does this picture make you feel? (passes up picture)
<
Tebow: Mark, I feel this picture is an accurate portrayal of my interests and hobbies. I don't regret painting that on the side of the Kindercare building at all.
Actually guys, that's all the time I've got today. I've gotta get to my fourth Bible study of the afternoon, the fifth and sixth ones usually run a little long...but that's cool, JC's the man!"
...AND SCENE!
Like, I said I wasn't actually watching or paying attention to Tebow's announcement a buddy of mine sent me a text to let me know the story...I was less than pleased.
I'm sure Tebow's decision to stick around one more year had WAAAAAAY more to do with his desire to get an education, play Gator football one more year, and chase tail at the local Boy Scouts facility than it had to do with him being a system QB with Draft Stock lower than General Motors'.
Tebow's future might include breaking all the rushing records in Toronto Argonauts history, but he is to be commended for being a team player and a legend in the Jean Short Nation.
Seriously I can't believe I've gotta put up with this horse$#!% for another season.
If you read my last post and were amazed at how I was able to link law school, Indiana Jones, and 24/7's decision to turn pro...you'll love this!
My goal is to tell you why you should cheer for the SEC tonight and not Oklahoma.
My argument begins with a comparison to the movie Independence Day. First off, I was 13 or 14 when this movie came out. I saw the previews and knew I HAD to see this movie when it was released on July 4th. I even tried to trick my parents into letting me go see it by telling them as a marketing ploy to be the biggest movie opening ever it was only going to be shown for one day...that didn't work and I saw it when we got back from vacation that summer.
So lets pretend to entire Universe is the collective of NCAA football. The SEC is Earth and the Big 12 is Uranus or wherever the aliens from ID came from.
At this very moment the Big 12 is threatening the good name of the SEC (Aliens invading Earth). Sure they've got their flashy QB's (big awesome spaceships), but when it all boils down they're really just a society of men the size of men and women the size of men who are the same size and bleed acid (seriously, those chicks are huge). They might have big guns, but their defenses can be penetrated and when you think about it they aren't anything we can't defeat.
As Americans we have fought with many nations. Japan, Germany, Iran, Korea, the list goes on...but right now, there is a greater foe. The Big 12 (Uranus) is threatening our superiority and this isn't a case of "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." This is where we as a planet (conference) need to come together and defend ourselves.
Unfortunately the Jean Short Nation represents America in this example, yeah I don't like it anymore than you but Georgia can be the 2nd most awesome country, Australia. America had the most fire-power in Independence Day and since Florida won the conference, they represent America. I assume Vandy to be Japan (since they're so smart), South Carolina to be France (because they talk a big game but they're total pu$$!es), and Mississippi State to be Antarctica (because the campus has so much awesome stuff to do).
Even though I picture Tim Tebow as more of a Randy Quaid type character, he obviously is the main hero of the movie represented by Will Smith.
Alot like Tebow, except he's black...and doesn't like to touch wieners.
So the pretty boy has carried the storyline just fine, but it will be people like Percy Harvin and Brandon Spikes (the President and Randy Quaid's character) who get the job done by completing the dirty work.
Sure Tim Tebow flew into the alien mothership to upload a computer virus, but I don't really have time to argue details, just keep up with the basics.
Iran (Auburn) wasn't trying to blow up any American landmarks during the alien invasion, they were being supportive of America even though they don't have cool fire-power (players) to threaten the invading aliens. After we bring down the invaders, then we can turn back to our own conference squabbles. I hate Florida as much as the next Dawg...but right now it's not about Florida, it's about protecting the sanctity of planet Earth.
We must protect this house
THAT'S the SEC, baby.
...the comments section is for Dawgs with opposing views to tell me how ashamed I should be of myself. But don't worry, my feelings aren't hurt when I'm called a dumbass...I've been married for 3+ years now.
The AJC is running a story about Under Armour MVP DB Greg Reid. He is the guy who made big news by committing to Florida, then came forward saying "I made a mistake, once I got to know him I found Coach Urban Meyer to be a total douche." (or some variation of rushing into his decision...something like that)
After speaking with Coach Bobo and future Bulldog tailback Washaun Ealey, we've got a visit scheduled with Reid for January 30th. I've said before Athens, GA being Athens, GA is one of our greatest recruitment tools not on salary. Athens is generally at the top of most "Best College Town" polls and it's there for a reason...it's a GREAT college town!
The article used several blurbs making it sound like Greg Reid has a strong streak of state patriotism, after his trip this month I'm assuming his mind will be 75% made up. We can expect his decision on signing day and the AJC claims "it projects to be an all-out war between Georgia and Florida". The only downside of him coming to UGA would be some type of CBS backstory run during the WLOCP.
Come to Georgia, be a star player, I'll put up with your backstory.
If you are feeling a little sour today, you might want to either be dead or in the hospital before you think about missing work tomorrow. Come to work sick, vomiting, and with poo stains on your pants but DO NOT MISS WORK TOMORROW...
...then you'll LOVE...
(h/t Dr. Saturday, Matt Hinton)
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