Close the book.

That's it folks. The 2011 football season is officially over. Congratulations to my team-in-law on their 14th National Championship, @Olivethetweets was ecstatic last night and I was happy for her (regardless of how much gloating she did...and YES Sweetheart, calling the Dawgs "the Cubs of the SEC" is gloating no matter how kind-hearted your intent was).

But that brings me to my next point, one thing I REALLY was not looking forward to is our fanbase today. Almost as much as I dreaded reading about us after the Outback Bowl. Be it on Twitter or some of the blogs I read, I just know somebody is going to compare our current state to that of Alabama football. It's not that I can't handle reality, because I can. I can admit that Alabama and LSU are both programs much better than ours. What I can't stomach is our fanbase. Yes, our fanbase.

I love a good 90% of you guys. But the remaining 10% lack a fundamental understanding of...well...understanding.

Every fanbase has it, but lately I just get fed up with hearing the whining and bitching that we aren't Alabama, or we aren't LSU...can you not be happy just being Georgia?! College Football is cyclical and here is how I see it following our last 10 win season in 2008:

2009 - New QB leadership (Joe Cox). No Stafford. No Knowshon. Lots of NFL talent lost following previous season. Willie's last year as DC.

2010 - New Freshman QB. New defensive staff working with players they didn't recruit. OUR RUNNING BACKS WERE CALEB KING, RICHARD SAMUEL, AND WASHAUN EALEY.

I'm making a lot of excuses, but when your cogs and personnel turnover happen at the rate it happened for us over the past 3 years...then YEAH expect a dip in quality for your program.

2011 - Started out like crap. Lost to the 2 toughest opponents on our schedule right out of the gates, but we saw a few signs of hope. When was the last time you had an ounce of faith in your defense? Did you see the season Jarvis Jones had? We watched Malcolm Mitchell become our next big passing threat. And our fans who want to bitch about Isaiah Crowell not playing on an injured ankle which NONE OF YOU, NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU WITH A "source" IN THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT OR A FRIEND WHO HEARD SOMETHING knows the extent of pain he felt trying to turn on a dime while carrying nearly half of our team's rushing yardage.

Getting suspended for smoking weed? "Yeah, what an idiot" says the guy in Law School who took a year off to follow Widespread Panic. Crowell has a ton of talent, and probably an attitude to match it, but we stuck a ton of pressure on an 18 year old kid and he performed well when able. Cut him some slack.

Remember the difficult time we had recruiting when these superstar high school athletes wanted playing time instead of earning reps behind AJ Green? Well, they went to other schools and some of these other schools are performing with them. But with a couple of down years, now it's UGA's turn to recruit high profile talent who can come in and make an instant impact. Last year's Dream Team did a helluva job for a bunch of young guys. I'm pretty pumped about the prospect of guys like John Theus, Jordan Jenkins (whom I just found out about this morning), and Keith Marshall (Isaiah Crowell is gonna grow up REAL FAST this off season).

We've got a defense that will return a lot of guys, really hoping Bacarri comes back for what could be an awesome year. The biggest names we lose offensively are Ben Jones (which will hurt) and with a little luck Orson Charles sticks around (which my insider source in the athletic department heard from a friend of a friend that he will).

This is Mackie being honest. Take a step back from the ledge. UGA football is not in a downward spiral following a 10 win season where we won the East with a bunch of young guys. In watching my wife's excitement last night searching out Bear Bryant quotes to post, it made me think. The Bear is without a doubt in my mind the absolute best coach in the history of the game. Mark Richt will probably never be Bear Bryant, but there was time in college football where patience paid off.

1967 - 8-2-1 (73%)
1968 - 8-3-0 (73%)
1969 - 6-5-0 (55%)
1970 - 6-5-1 (50%)

That's Alabama football, correction, that's Bear Bryant football in a 4 year stretch between some of their program's most storied seasons.

The game has changed, I'm well aware. Every fanbase expects a new coach to win immediately (see our jort-wearing neighbors to the south). But it's a cycle and as long as you aren't in the lower echelon of the SEC you'll have your time to shine in the national spotlight. Eventually Tennessee will be Tennessee again, eventually South Carolina will be South Carolina again. When my wife and I were still dating, I saw some pretty awful Alabama football games. Since my wife and I have been married, she's seen some pretty awful UGA football games. And now that we're expecting our first child there is a pretty good chance he or she will see some pretty good and pretty awful games in their lifetime.
(...still looking for one of these)

I've always been a patient person, sometimes too patient. It probably doesn't help that I'm turning into this worthless ball of emotion when I see a sonogram of my baby. I might be going soft when it comes to taking a stand against what is acceptable from UGA Football, but when I put it into perspective I like what I see, no matter how frustrating it can be sometimes. I'm happy we went for it on 4th and 1 in Michigan State territory last week. You know why? Because we didn't go for it on 4th and 1 in Central Florida territory last year. We wanted Mark Richt to take more chances this year and he did. On-side kicks against South Carolina and LSU were huge (yes even though the USC one was overturned on a crap call) but if you're willing to take the good when it happens, then suck it up and take the bad too.

Mark Richt is not Nick Saban, but Nick Saban isn't Mark Richt either.

2012 can be something special for the Dawgs. Stop bitching and get on the bus.

Go Dawgs.

Dawg Suspended.

If the rumors are true that Washaun was just being a punk with an attitude, I really hope he gets his act together. It's beginning to look like Caleb King was feeding his homework to UGA VIII and we'll need a veteran RB out on the field this Fall.

We're all pumped about Isaiah Crowell getting some carries, but in addition to him Ken Malcolm and Carlton (Banks) Thomas would be our only other options if Caleb flunks and Washaun decides he's more important than the team he plays for. Malcolm is a question mark, Thomas is undersized, and we're looking at a true freshman to be our own Marcus Lattimore. I'm glad to have him, but lets keep the horse before the cart.

Last season I had no faith in our running game. I wanted fresh legs to play because our corp was NOT getting it done. I had high hopes after watching Washaun run all over Georgia Tech in 2009, but he started to buy into his own hype and he's looked like a thug ever since. I hope the new S&C program teaches him some humility and gets him prepared to be a leader for these new guys. Otherwise keeping Ealey around to "mentor" highly touted freshmen is a recipe for disaster.

For Coach Richt's own good, here's hoping for an off-season where our players don't attempt to emerge from any alleys. Go Dawgs!

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica

At least Ole Miss picked the "best" bear.

...well, actually there are 2 schools of thought.


Still waiting on the lines to come out showing the Over/Under on # of days until an Ole Miss fan photoshops blackface onto a picture of Paul Bryant in a cleaver attempt to exercise politically incorrect mascottery.

I think the only thing worse than being a coward and bowing down to bed-wetters is losing to Jacksonville State in football. It'll be funny to watch how poorly Pedobear is received by the fanbase on Saturdays.

Sing Along, Dog Nation.

...because sometimes you just want to take a walk in outer-space and sing about feelings with your short, effeminate, perm-haired friend.



Go Dogs!

...and one more thing.

We lost our right to be the "Dawgs" this year. Please mail your card to:

Dan Mullen
c/o Athletic Dept.
Mississippi State, MS 39762

Play like dogs, get called Dogs.

This sucks.

Quinton hit the nail on the head...and I read:

To borrow a metaphor from nineteenth century European history, Georgia is the "sick man" of the SEC. A former power that has run into hard times due to repeated setbacks, relevant only because of its reputation, size and affiliation with other great powers. Georgia is withering before our eyes. When a team that has won championships in recent memory begins to lose battles with State, Kentucky, Arkansas, and South Carolina, none of whom have won a championship in longer than recent memory, the only conclusion is a degenerative, sustained illness. An illness consuming the patient, who is condemned to a slow and painful death.
I am still hesitant to jump on the Fire Coach Richt bandwagon...but this team isn't making that decision easy. What I'm experiencing is a sense of questioning, and that doesn't bode well for our current coaching staff.

My biggest concern is that football (pro and collegiate) is an ever-evolving sport. In this arena of SEC competition you've ALWAYS got to be 1 step ahead of the other guys. I used to think it was important to have a consistent staff for recruiting and coaching purposes. Perhaps the regular turnover of coaching staffs in the SEC is due to necessity rather than an irrational fanbase running these guys out of town.

I love Coach Richt, he is a great guy and has a history of quality coaching. But he's got to prove that his gameplan is still relevant in this conference. Otherwise the barking will continue to get louder until Greg McGarity's will be forced to make a career-defining decision.

I'm still holding out hope that this team won't throw in the towel and start phoning it in on Saturdays. But when I enjoyed watching the Falcons more than the Dawgs our team is in a sad state of affairs. Our fanbase is hurting, we want to believe in you, Coach...please get it together.

UGA Husband, BAMA Wife

I am a Georgia fan. I bleed red & black. I married a girl who went to Alabama. I've already covered the concept of "team-in-law" but I'm a little unsure about the following:

I don't think the Razorbacks will beat the Crimson Tide this weekend, but who exactly should I cheer for? Do I love Georgia so much that I would actually root against my team-in-law so to not make our loss look that bad? Because obviously if the #1 team in the country couldn't beat Arkansas either then perhaps Georgia's loss wasn't really all that unexpected...right?

I was pondering the above and then I saw this little piece of magic.


Now everything seems so clear!

WOOOOOOOO PIG SOOIE!!1

...sigh

Yeah, I'm officially killing the Thursday Homeless 3. That segment has been nothing but bad luck. I'd probably have much better luck with slot machines and online video poker than assuming one of those stinkin' bums would correctly pick a Georgia opponent to lose.

Thoughts and more later this week...busy at work.

Oh Noes Teh Dawgs Iz Failxorz!!1

Yep, Georgia lost an ugly game Saturday. Somehow Carolina found a way to stop runs up the middle, and Georgia didn't. However, that is NOT intended to devalue the run-away pantie-magnet that is Marcus Lattimore. Seriously, I don't think any SEC team is looking forward to trying to stop that kid. Aside from our missed tackles (taking no less than 3 defender's touches to get the kid down) I would love to ask Stephen Hawking what kind of physics based, time-space continuum allows a human who is 2 yards tall to fall forward 7 yards.


But Lattimore or no Lattimore, if Orson Charles catches the TD pass and Washaun Ealey doesn't fumble in the red zone and we score, we've got a tie ball game. Also, if "IF's" and "BUT's" were candy and nuts...then we'd all have...candy and nuts...or whatever.

I would have liked to see Mike Bobo call some non-running plays when our backs were against the wall, but he didn't and I'm not the OC so really all I can do is bitch about how much losing sucks. I will say I was amazed how quickly it seems everyone has bought into Paul Finebaum's Fire Mark Richt campaign. The best retort to this I can find comes from Lucid Idiocy who argues,

"Misspell "lose" once, and it's not worth mentioning. Do it three times and it discounts your opinion considerably."

Claiming he doesn't "want it" enough doesn't really mean anything to me. I'm pretty sure if not "wanting it" equaled losses then Bobby Johnson was skipping practices to smoke weed and listen to Panic. The better team won Saturday, blame whomever you want...(like you needed my blessing).

If you're looking for a blog to support opinions like this: ...then you might want to take Blogging Pantsless off your RSS feed.

Perhaps I'm too patient (hell, I thought Jim Donnan should have gotten another year) but realistically I expected Georgia to go 9-3 regular season. Freshmeat QB and a new defensive package isn't going to give you an undefeated season in the SEC. That being said, if we don't OBLITERATE the next 6 opponents I'll be a little nervous about where we're headed. If I'm wrong and we screw the pooch over next few weeks I'll dim my outlook, but for now I think South Carolina will surprise some folks this year. Will they win the East? Well...not quite ready to fit them with that crown just yet because they've got Auburn, Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Florida to get through.

Don't jump off the bandwagon just yet, Dawg fans. We've still got some good opportunities to get back in the race. Hopefully we've breaking down film, learning to wrap-up, and REMOVING THE SHOULDER TACKLE from our habits. GO DAWGS!

Making Green Lemonade

By now you've probably heard AJ is suspended 4 games for selling a jersey. I don't know anything about it you haven't heard already but I'm here to provide a little sunshine.

#1. Georgia Tech is lucky, they never have to worry about athlete/agent interaction.

#2. If we had to lose AJ for a sequence of 4 games, I would rather it be the first 4 (ULaFa,USC,Arky,Miss St) than the middle 4 (Col, Tenn, Vandy, KY), or GOD FORBID the last 4 (UF, Idaho St, Auburn, Nerds).

#3. When the best receiver in college football is eligible again, he will be 4 Saturdays fresher than any of his defenders (assuming they haven't also been suspended).

#4. The Senator reminded me, we beat a Top 10 opponent (Tech) last year without AJ Green.

#5. Should Georgia run the table on South Carolina, Arkansas, and Miss St without #8, by the time AJ returns we should be getting some serious love from the polls. What do you think a mid-season boost by adding a playmaker like AJ Green is going to do?


Stay limber, #8. We are going to expect the world out of you in October...it's kinda our thing.

Watch a Nerd Get Hurt

If you live in the metro-Atlanta or Macon area, you probably can pick up the The Regular Guys show on Rock 100.5. There is a snotty little douche named Sebas on the show who went to Tech and does nothing but brag about how smart he is. Lucky for us, they did a bit where we get to see him get blasted with a pressure washer...enjoy.



I love watching nerds get hurt being stupid, it makes me happy.

Disillusionment

The wife was on a business trip in Little Rock this week. She, being of the Crimson Tide persuasion, was getting an ear-full from the Razorback fans over there. She was kind enough to email me some of their disillusioned statements. And I read:

•This is Arkansas’s year.

•We will beat Alabama in Fayetteville this year.

•We have a Heisman trophy candidate playing for our team, so we will win against Alabama.

•Alabama has an unknown defense, so Mallett can easily put up 50 points against Alabama. The question is whether Alabama can score 51 points.

•Arkansas will run all over Alabama’s defense.

•If we beat Georgia, there’s no way we’ll lose to Alabama the next week. If we lose to Georgia, it will be tougher for us to win against Alabama, but it still can and will be done.

•We are ranked higher than any other SEC team (…except Alabama and Florida).

•After we win, we’re calling you, and you have to “call the Hogs” for us.

•Back in the day, Arkansas and Alabama was a huge rivalry game (...back in the day?!? 1992 when we played you for the 3rd time eva?!?). You had to come to the state of Arkansas to find the best coach in history. We’re ready to reignite that this year with a win.

•Arkansas could very easily go undefeated. Worst case, we’ll lose one game the whole season.

•Arkansas almost beat both Alabama and Florida in the last few years (then time spent reminiscing the moral victories of almost winning).

•The referee kept us from beating Florida last year.

•Arkansas will be playing for the SEC Championship this year.

•Nick Saban is an evil man who will leave Alabama soon for something else (okay… everyone kind of says that).

Just wanted to share that with you guys. Apparently Arkansas = University of South Carolina West.

Pantsless Predictions: Preview of Part I of IIIIIIIIII (10)

So last year I did a HATCHET job picking the Wins/Loses of the Dawgs.

Long story short, I did a lot of traveling last year to watch UGA football and they didn't win a single game I went to...that's pretty crappy to experience (especially because Stillwater, OK is a helluva drive).

But this year I opted to not buy any tickets off the season ticket form I share with a guy. Instead, I decided to spend a jillion dollars on 10th row seats for when Roger Waters comes to town touring the Pink Floyd classic The Wall. That should resolve the bad luck I brought to the team in 2009, but if nothing else you can thank me for getting us enough losses to can Willie Mart...or you can thank Willie yourself...whatever.


I'm omitting UL-Lafa and Idaho State from the Predictions only because I assume we will win...so there's your prediction, looks like they aren't actually omitted after all.

First up will be South Cackalacky. I've been busy the last week dealing with homeowner pleasantries like a broke-down washing machine.
You might be tempted to say "Hey Mackie, it looks like you're missing a few pieces to your washing machine."

I would be tempted to answer "You're right, but she's travelling and she'll be back Friday." ...but I wouldn't do that because my wife reads the blog and would give me that look that encompasses anger, regret, and sadness all in one roll of the eyes.

But I'm getting my act together and as long as the Braves continue to fall apart my focus will continue to shift toward the Dawgs and blogging like kudzu to a telephone poll. Thanks for your patience, football is nearly upon us. Masses rejoice!

Farewell, David Hale

I believe it was somewhere around Blogging Pantsless' 1 year anniversary. I'd gotten to the point where I felt I was pretty hot s#*% because I was averaging somewhere between 60-70 UNIQUE hits per day.

I don't remember what exactly I posted that day, but I saw my counter jump by 500 hits over the course of morning to noon. I immediately went to my log of referrals and saw 499 of them had come from David Hale's Bulldogs Blog.
My first thought was to write a post thanking him for the link and throwing a week's worth of traffic my way in one morning. My second thought was I probably shouldn't call opposing team's star players "gay" anymore if I'm going to be getting serious about this blogging non-sense.

But as it turned out, most Georgia fans are just as juvenile as I and enjoy the occasional name-calling so I kept it up. Though, I can't say how many...IF ANY, of my current readers came from being linked by David that day. But I can tell you his referral of Blogging Pantsless did A LOT toward motivating me to keep this train rolling. So for that, Mr. Hale...

...WE SALUTE YOU!

I say it's one of the South's greatest losses since General Bobby Lee. But have fun up in Philthadelphia covering those good for nothin' Philthies. I wish you mountains of prosperity, but may your baseball team lose EVERY SINGLE GAME until the franchise ships off to Las Vegas as a new team. God Speed, David. You will be missed around these parts.

Oh, Damon.

The bright-side is, neither him or the dead hookers in the trunk were attempting to text while driving.

I'll admit, it really sucks to think we might lose a great Athletic Director over this...but so goes the world of unforgivable offenses.

"Journalistic" Douchebaggery

According to the Orlando Sentinel's 2010 Countdown, Jeremy Fowler has UGA going 5-7*

The best comment thus far is by Macallanlover who call's Jeremy out and tells him to stick his money where his mouth is:

"...I will bet you a 5 figure amount UGA is closer to #1 than than #64 at the end of the year, and give you 2-1 odds. With those odds, that should be a no-brainer Jeremy. You have access to my email address if you would like to set this up with a 3rd party holding the money."

One thing I wouldn't put money on is Mr. Fowler actually taking this guy up on his offer. But not to be outdone, I've got the Florida Gators ranked at number 119 just above Western Kentucky (120), but below FIU (118)...so sit & spin, Fowler!

*That is assuming he thinks we're good enough to beat Division I-AA opponent Idaho State which isn't ranked in the D1 list of schools. Otherwise mark us down as a good, solid 4-8 team.

Touchdown Jesusees

According to THIS STORY about the state of Ohio's Touchdown Jesus, he's called that because:

The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way his arms were raised, as though reaching out to catch a football.

Now I always associate "Touchdown Jesus" with the mural of Jesus SIGNALING a touchdown at Notre Dame.

Perhaps I'm mistaken, and as the article states, this is the technique of which Notre Dame's receivers have been attempting "to reach out and catch a football".

Brian Kelly, your job just got a lot easier. Offensive woes, solved.

Coach Richt's Call for Warming

Per Marc Weiszer's blog:

“I’m kind of hoping for a hot summer,” Richt said. “I’m hoping our guys get acclimated to a real hot summer. There’s been seasons when we’ve had a real mild summer and then all of a sudden that opening game or first couple of games, it’s just smoking hot. It’s hard to be ready for that unless you practice in it, so I’m hoping we get some good heat in the summer and get used to it.”

I did my best to find the clip of Drew Carey doing his stand-up routine where he complains about how cold it is up north during winter so he's standing outside emptying cans of hairspray trying to speed up global warming. Unfortunately I couldn't find it...so completely unrelated, here is George Carlin's rant on global warming instead.


I don't believe in Global Warming, but I do believe in Coach Richt. If you believe in Coach Richt AND Global Warming, here are some tips to add additional heat to Summer and getting our boys ready for the early kickoff heat!

-Paper or Plastic? BOTH! Double bag those suckers.

-Stop your trash service and burn your garbage instead.

-Pave your yard.

-Drive...to the mailbox.

-Air conditioner set at 60 with the windows open.

-Discard old paint buckets and oil cans in your local flowing water-source.

-Cut down trees and whittle them down to toothpicks. (it would help to have Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing in the background while you do so for maximum Looney Tunes effect)

World Cup VS College Football

Soccer, or futbol as the fans call it, is the most popular sport in the world. That's why I think we as Americans are some of the finest members of society because we couldn't give a RATS ASS about it. The more ESPN and my hipster friends try to persuade me that "Soccer is intense" or "Just stay awake until the game is over" the less interested I become. I'm the exact same way with bands people say I would like...chances are if I've made it 27 years thinking U2 blows, you aren't going to win me over with their latest album full of Bono's self-righteous garbage.

But aside from how boring soccer is, or the fact it's totally gay that the clock winds UP instead of down, and that even when time is up they continue to play from magic time the ref pulls out of his magic time bag...I just have zero interest in even attempting to be a fan because I don't want to BE a soccer fan. Same goes for NASCAR.

A friend of mine stated that the World Cup > College Football Bowl Series.

I have no interest in getting into a playoffs debate, and the two are run differently, but I disagreed if nothing else because it's a personal preference. I contest that I would rather sit and watch Georgia Tech play DeVry in the Humanitarian Bowl than sit through the final match of World Cup Soccer.

I find it to be THAT boring.

Now, Hamp Tanner took me to task on this saying the mere Schadenfreude factor would make watching Tech entertaining...and I'll credit him that. Also, I'm well aware that the ACC is no longer associate with the Roadies Humanitarian Bowl so our little brothers from North Avenue won't have the opportunity to play in Boise, Idaho in the bitter cold of winter...but Hamp was right, it was fun to see Tech on smurf turf.
SHOWIN' TULSA WHO'S BOSS, BITCHES!

But aside from Tech's 3-8 bowl record FAIL from the last 11 years, I would venture to say I have more interest in watching the first bowl game of Bowl Season than the last World Cup match-up of Soccer Season. There, end of story.

All you soccer fans can go back to being racist, hooligans who kill each other and riot...and us college football fans will go back to civilized American life...except LSU fans, they're probably more like the soccer fans.

We'll just sit in our air conditioned non-leanto houses and enjoy soccer the best way we know how...by laughing at guys getting kicked in the nuts!






WINNERS! THE WHOLE MESSA YA!

Hey Ole Miss...DON'T BLOW IT!

It was the Fall of 2005. I had just graduated from college and was working at Hartsfield. I met numerous Boise State fans flying into town the week before college football started. They were flying in to take on our Georgia Bulldogs and we were nervous as hell.

Like Southern Miss decades ago, Boise State had a Giant Killer reputation...and it didn't help UGA was starting a Senior QB who had only seen playing time when David Greene was resting.

But I will always remember the day we learned DJ Shockley was the real deal, and it came by making Boise State's defense look foolish.
(the defense wasn't too bad lookin' either)

All-time Boise State is 0-4 against the SEC, and perhaps it's that unique conference pride we have, but I hope Ole Miss has their act together when they open the season against the Broncos in 2011.

I harbor no ill-will against the Broncos, but I'm not a fan. I didn't buy into Hawaii 2007, and I don't buy into Boise State in 2010. Preseason #2? Give me a break.

Blatant homerism aside, I'm not sure this is UGA's year to win the East (South Carolina fans are telling me it's FINALLY their year...pptptpttttt). But I do think of all the SEC teams there are maybe 4-or-5 who could knock off the Broncos. Of course to counter myself, the SEC hasn't faced the Blue Turf Horsies without Dan Hawkins behind the wheel.

On that note Chris Petersen is a helluva coach, and he's done wonders to recruit kids to play in BOISE, IDAHO. But I stand behind my POV that if Boise State were in a solid conference (PAC-10, maybe? "solid conference" used loosely) they'd be middle of the pack with the occasional upset win over USC, Stanford, Oregon or whichever team is supposed to be good that year.

I can admit I don't know enough about Ole Miss, nor do I care enough to research and find out what year Jevan Snead is. But I hope Colonel Reb, Admiral Ackbar, or Captain Giggity fields a team competent enough to not lose their opener against these guys. Pride on the line, fellas...don't blow it.

UPDATE: Apparently Boise State's coach in 2000 was Dirk Koetter when they lost to Arkansas...Hawkins was still an assistant. My bad.