Monday, April 12, 2010

A Brush With Obesity

So today I had this "great" idea.

Monday, April 12th marked the official unveiling of the KFC dream sandwich, The Double Down. Also, I've lived in the Marietta area most of my life and not once have I ever actually eaten at The Big Chicken (Its been one of those places I drive by but never actually stop...in Auburn, AL they call this "church"). The stars aligned and it only made sense to kill two birds with one stone.

Follow me as I take you on a trip down dietary Hell.

There she is, rising like a Phoenix from the Arizona.

Hmmm...I should probably go ahead and tell you I can count my total trips to KFC in the last decade on Lance Armstrong's testicles.

I am officially the proud owner of 1 KFC Double Down "sandwich".


So here it is. A bacon & cheese sandwich held together by 2 fried chicken "buns".

...NOM

...NOM NOM

...NOM NOM NOM

FINAL VERDICT:
Patton Oswalt once referred to KFC's Famous Bowl's as "Failure Bowls". I will hereby refer to this beast as a Failure Sandwich. Why? Because I feel like Hell right now. The damned thing was salty, heavy, and 100% vegetable free...unless the USDA convinced you that condiments are a vegetable, then you got your daily serving of Colonel's Sauce. Seriously would it have killed you to put a tomato or a pickle on this thing?!?

I'm not a health-nut by any stretch of the imagination. I can't eat my wife's Kashi cereal without wanting to empty the hole-punch into the bowl to give it some taste. But if you find yourself able to eat one of these on a regular basis, chances are you either have a Dale Earnhardt tattoo or are wearing an over-sized Tweetie Bird t-shirt. Diabetes are in your not-too-distant future and your long hair compliments your red neck.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go fix myself a Lipitor and Maker's Mark...then call it a night.

8 comments:

fourboysbrewpub said...

Mackie,
You are a better man than me. I don't think I could get half way through that and I am a fast food junkie.

婉菁婉菁婉菁 said...

It's great!!..........................................

HamDawg11 said...

Dude, I had my first one of these today. I am by no means a health nut, but I'm considering giving it a shot after eating this thing. I wasn't expecting the amount of grease I encountered, and the only napkin they gave me was the super-thin one inside the plastic with the fork. I had to pull over and get some paper towels from a gas station windshield wash dispenser.

Anyway, I fell I have checked the block and won't be partaking of this flatulence-producing item any time in the near future. Fortunately for my wife I'm on the road, so she doesn't have to deal with the consequences! haha

PorshaCoghlan梁子珠 said...

優質的好部落格,需要大家的支持! ........................................

RexTemples20144 said...

thank u........................................

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Goat said...

I am totally undetered by your negative feedback. I refuse to believe you until I try it for myself. Fortunately, I've just restocked by Prilosec supply.

amanda young said...

KFC is a tender looking good and very yummy.. especially fried chicken..Amanda Vanderpool