Work has been bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I don't know why I ever feel the need to explain myself when I don't post at least 3-4 times per week...but work has been insane this week and frankly, we're not playing football right now so what's the big deal?

Anyway, my inner commentator is screaming like a female curler to be expressed so I figured I'd throw it a bone.

Baseball:
In the wake of Spring Training and the Braves getting their roster worked out, Bernie made a trip out to Foley Field last night to watch the Diamond Dawgs man-handle a bunch of Presbyterians looking for a quick game after Wednesday Night Supper and Choir Rehearsal. As cold as it was out there I'm assuming cups weren't necessary, but either way Dawgs won 11-3 and Bernie was able to pick up his limited edition Chance Veasey ballcap. If you're able to make it up to Athens to catch a game sometime, make sure to make a donation to the Prayers for Chance fund. The first 500 people who donate $20 will get one of these hats for their generosity and you know it's going to a good cause.

MMA:
In the wake of Herschel beating the dog squeeze outta some guy in Mixed Martial Arts, apparently Knowshon is testing the waters as well. From what I'm hearing some 18 year old got hopped up on goofballs and liquid courage then approached Mr. Moreno about his bicycle. Fortunately, Blogging Pantsless was able to obtain this exclusive video of the incident (NSFW)
Tough call on who made the worse decision, and I'm no lawya', but I'm going to assume this kid thinks he's going to get some of $$$uperman's money before it's all said and done.

AKC Dawg Show:
It could be that I've been so dang busy it slipped my mind, but I don't know how I could have completely forgotten that we don't have a mascot right now. David Hale does his best David Hale impression and gives us a great look into the goings on of the Seiler families search for UGA VIII. My favorite part is where Sonny delves into the PETA story and tells it like it is FAAAAAAR more eloquently than I would have.

Though I don't subscribe to the "Russ For 8" talk, I think Russ has done a great job with his role as fill-in. There is something to be said for patiently looking for the right Dawg for the job instead of seeing a void and filling it with any ol' dog. The good news is, no matter how "mascot-less" we might feel, at least we aren't trying to replace 80 years of tradition with a Star Wars character. If you asked me 10 years ago which NCAA school I thought would have a Star Wars character as their mascot, it likely would have been: It's really a better representation of their institution's interest AND female constituency.

Skeleton? Put it in the closet with the others.

To further compound my plan to never run for public office, a picture has surfaced from a party I attended last week. The picture below is from the Johnny Weir Viewing Party MY WIFE AND I attended last Thursday. People from across the state gathered to watch Johnny Weir's Free Skate Program last week and once everyone discovered he was the 2nd-to-last skater most of us just drank and went back home.


But aside from any excuses I could make to justify my presence at said event, I feel the need to make 3 points proving my heterosexuality.

#1. Wedding ring, left-hand.

#2. Look at the masculine grip I have on that rose...nothing gay about that.

#3. Closing argument, "Flora-Bama" coozie stuffed with Coor's Banquet...'nuff said.

Of course the glaring obstacle to these points is the "Queer 4 Weir" shirt I'm wearing, but Blogging Pantsless has been around 2 years. If this surprises you, then you haven't been paying attention.

Happy Birthday, Coach

...every 25 years, Coach gets a thumb.

I know we're a day late, but we started partyin' early yesterday and crashed early. When I turned 25 I got to eat BBQ three days in a row, went out drankin' with friends and ended up puking on the Downtown Connector. I'm going to go ahead and assume your 50th was twice as badass as that.

NBC's Olympic Athlete Application

Name:

Sport:

Hometown:


In the following space please list all "special needs" relatives:





If you have no retarded relatives, please list deceased relatives for whom you would like your backstory based on:






If you have no deceased relatives who have inspired your competitive spirit, please name pets who's honor you will compete in:






If you have no pets, disabled relatives, deceased family members, or anything else we can exploit in an overly dramatic backstory; we at NBC ask that you only compete in Olympic events nobody watches (I.E. Biathalon...what kind of sport is that?!? Skiing and shooting a gun?!? pppttttt!!! Sounds more like my last trip to Sugar Mountain, NC if you know what I mean and I think you do! Seriously though, Biathalon is the worst.)


Sincerely:

Bob Costas
NBC Commentator

Winter Olympics

I'm pretty pumped about the Winter Olympics. Until I got married and my wife introduced me to the greatness of Olympic sports, I had little to no interest in them. Yeah, when they were in Atlanta I went with my parents to see Boxing (and I got my picture taken with Butterbean...I'll have to post that one later), but I wasn't enthralled with it like I am now.

So, with the opening ceremonies kicking off, I wanted to post the greatest moment in sports history.


This was the equivalent of a college baseball team beating the Yankees. It's watching Appalachian State beat NOT MICHIGAN, but the New Orleans Saints. I would say it's like watching me (from my college years) taking down Roger Federer in a tennis match but the 1980 US Hockey team wasn't THAT awful.

Aside from sport, it was watching the beginning of the end of the Cold War. We beat the Soviets at their own game.

If I remember correctly, this is where the "U-S-A! U-S-A!" chant came from. And I like to believe without THAT chant, we have no "S-E-C! S-E-C!" chant.

If you haven't seen the movie Miracle, add it to your Netflix queue. It ranks just ahead of Cool Runnings in the "Best Olympic Movies" and slightly behind Chariots of Fire.

It also leads to awesome moments in parenthood like this.
...I could eat this child. No seriously, I want to bite him.

Your Favorite Olympic Athlete

The year, 1992. The Winter Olympics were held in Albertville, France. YouTube didn't exist...and neither did their "Embedding disabled by request" policy.

Few people remember this, but all Georgia fans had the same favorite Olympic bobsledder that year. Unfortunately the Olympic uniforms didn't include printing "34" in twelve inch lettering on the back.

Also, I remember 2 years ago watching replays of this video and thinking "Herschel Walker is doing MMA?!?"

After he demolished the competition in his first MMA fight last month, someone label Herschel Walker the "Alpha Human" on Twitter. You'll get no argument outta me. At 48 years old, if the man wanted to wear a bedazzled unitard and ice-dance with Johnny Weir, I wouldn't tell him no.
Do not poke the bulldog, or he will bite.

Super Bowl Photography Tricks

You know it's going to be a good day when someone sends you a semi-subtle gay joke pictorial to kick it off.

Thank you Fake TT...you've started my day on a high note.