Fun with Stats!

Since Mark Richt took over as head coach of the Dawgs in 2001 we have only won 2 of the 7 Cocktail Parties.

Of the 5 we've lost, the average defeat was by exactly 7 points.
Of the 2 we've won, the average victory was by 9.5 points.

This is interesting to me if only because we will be know for our offensive firepower this year. Averaging a 1 TD and PAT yearly loss to the Gaytors doesn't seem like that big of a deal with the guys we've got controlling the ball this season.

On the other hand, when we've won it's been by 9.5 which would mean Team Tebow would need either their defense to step up and keep the game within a TDs value, or their offense is gonna have to produce and produce quick.

Of course these are only numbers and don't really have any relevance to what will happen on November 1st in Jacksonville...but it's fun to look at.

...this is fun to look at too!

Also as an unrelated side note on the subject of bowl games, from 1997-2007 our bowl record is 9-2.

Our average bowl win was by 12.888 points in those 9 victories.
Of our 2 losses (the '01 Music City Bowl against Boston College and the '05 Splenda Bowl against West Virginia) our average loss was by 3.5 points. Regardless of what the score was after the 1st half of the Mountaineers game, the final loss was by 3 and if Dick Rod hadn't gone for it on 4th down we would have tied it...but I'm not bitter...I promise.

December 31, 2005 "Steve who?!?"
January 2, 2006 "...don't talk to me."

When it's all said and done, we've had a pretty fine run these last 10 years. This season promises to be as entertaining as any, especially considering how the media has been pulling our meat. Keep the faith Dawg fans, we've got a potential Heisman winner, a quarterback with ALOT to prove, the unveiling of a new mascot, the finest coach to never win a National Championship, and most importantly Larry Munson calling the play-by-play.

GO DAWGS!

MAGRUBER!

I had a bit of a Magruber moment today at lunch.

...I mean seriously, what office kitchen DOESN'T have a can opener?!?

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?!?" or as everyone else calls it "Bye Week"

October 4th and November 22nd. Circle those dates. If your wife says, "Hey honey my friend I haven't seen in 6 years and you've never met is getting married October 4th or November 22nd can you go with me?" you'd better say yes because that should meet your wedding quota for the Fall and you won't miss any Georgia games.

However, if you find yourself friendless, wifeless, etc... I thought I'd provide a few examples of things I like to do in the fall that could help fill the void (assuming you have ZERO interest in how your rivals are doing, in which case if you do, you'd better not miss their game!)

#1: Gatlinburg, TN
It's like Aspen, but with better junk food, and a ski lift that doesn't actually let you get off and ski back down.

Get your fill on taffy, candied apples, and corndogs while you take in the Ripley's Aquarium and Believe it or not! museum (that still has the same stuff you believed or didn't believe when you were 9 and went there with your parents). I will say the aquarium is pretty impressive but if you live anywhere near Atlanta you've got a much better one. Also if you're a Dukes fan there is a replica of Cooter's Garage complete with The General Lee sitting out in the parking lot.

Tell me what else you need...I DARE YOU!

#2 The Corn Maize at Cagle's Dairy

The last time I went there my wife and I stood in line for 30-40 minutes to get in. As we got to the ticket booth some teenager walks up and says, "Hey, old man (okay he didn't really call me old man), if I give you $40 will you buy tickets for me and my girlfriend so I don't have to wait in line?" Being the enterprising businessman that I am of course I took him up on it and before long Mrs. Mackalicious and I were roaming about the corn fields essentially free of charge.


Just a short drive up 75 from Atlanta, Cagles plows down sections of corn to create 3 unique corn mazes (enough already, we get the maize = corn joke). My best piece of advice to you would be DO NOT THROW THE FREE MAP THEY GIVE YOU AWAY! I had to use my cellphone as a flashlight to read it, but one of those mazes is so blasted huge we never would have found our way out and would have had to eat our way through the never-ending walls of corn, and we all know how corn goes straight through you!

#3. Oktoberfest in Helen, GA
If you want a beautiful drive through the mountains as the leaves are changing, this is for you. It also helps they serve booze by the gallons, but that only makes the colors that much more vivid. Anyway, if you decide to go, make sure you plan on arriving BEFORE 8am to get a parking place. Arrive early, grab a large breakfast at Hofer's, then spend the rest of the day with a beer in your hand a stupid green hat on your head.
It's a lot like tail-gating, but with more tubas

Either way, I know I enjoy it if nothing else for the killer hotdogs and funnel cakes. If you're going to make a weekend out of it I'd definitely suggest one of the wine-pairing dinners up at the Frogtown Winery too. For Georgia wineries (that aren't strawberry based) this is about as fine as you'll get. Just make sure you get a reservation in because the slots fill up quickly.

Feel free to leave ideas as to what you plan on doing for the 2 bye weeks we get this year. My hope is to enter the first one with a 5-0 record because we'll be needing our batteries charged up 110% for the following stretch.

Blair Walsh: A cold-blooded yogi

Between food poisoning blow-outs yesterday I checked AJC.com and read the story on Blair Walsh replacing Brandon Coutu. I found a common bond between myself and the freshman kicker Walsh, but first a little back story...

The last semester of my senior year in college, I had completed all my required business classes and needed only credit hours to qualify for my diploma. So I signed up for the following classes.

-Drama Survey
-Snow Skiing
(why this was taught in LaGrange, GA I'll never understand but I did get an "A")
-Tennis
-Internship
(where I counted the number of electric outlets in my dorm room)

and

-Yoga

This photo has not been altered in ANY way.


Needless to say that was one of the finest collegiate schedules ever established by yours truly, but of all the classes yoga was the most difficult.

#1. The teacher thought me and a couple of fraternity brothers were doing it as a joke.
#2. She wanted to make sure we knew it was a "serious" class.
#3. She might have known we knew she hooked up with an alumni of our fraternity...maybe.

Anyway, where this story is going is that AJC.com is reporting that...

Walsh picked up yoga during his sophomore year of high school. He said he has grown to love it and has found it helps his game mentally and physically.

"You just have to get in that mindset of putting yourself in game situations where it's tough, and that's what relaxes you and helps you focus on what's at hand, and not what else is going on in the game," he said. "It lets you be your own person."

He uses yoga stretches, like the praying mantis, during his pregame warm-up to stay loose.

"I know people still look and go, how is he that flexible?" he said. "But besides that, no real weird looks [from teammates], honestly."

So here is what this means to me, Blair Walsh is going to be getting the most tail EVER by any kicker in the history of kickers (yes even more than you Morton Anderson!) by going to yoga classes. Also, it means this year when we are down by 2 in Death Valley, on the 35 yard line, with 0:04 left on the clock; Walsh is going to run out onto that field take a few deep breaths, bust out a downward dawg and split the uprights like he's been doing it all his life. Blair was the #1 rated kicker by Rivals.com for his mad skills, I believe the common bond we share will allow him to pick up right where Coutu left off.

Long story short; Red Cross, don't expect this kid to give blood anytime soon because the stuff comes out in cubes, see below.

This was drawn from Blair's arm 20 seconds prior to the picture being taken...they just didn't have any smaller boxes.

...ugh.

Food poisoning = light posting.

Maybe later.

If you've never had this before it's pretty much the audible equivalent of having to listen to The Hot Dog Song for 13 straight hours.

...feel my pain.

10 things that look good to me: Nerd Practice Edition

Being the avid UGA fan that I am, I took a few exerpts from an AJC article about how Tech's first practice went yesterday.


#1 "...the offense looked brilliant at times, but more often than not, it looked like they were still learning."

#2 "Presumed starting quarterback Josh Nesbitt overthrew receivers on deep patterns, and occasionally put too much air under the ball, allowing a cornerback to recover and make a play."

#3 "Freshman Jaybo Shaw, presumably competing for the No. 2 job, worked mostly with the No. 2 offense, and didn't look particularly sharp."

#4 "He made a poor pitch in the 11-on-11s, and then he mishandled a snap."

#5 "None of the others - Tevin Washington, Bryce Dykes or Calvin Booker stood out either."

#6 "There was one series where Shaw mishandled the snap."

#7 "Nesbitt over threw an open receiver..."

#8 "...Washington mishandled the snap"

#9 "...Booker underthrew the ball and was picked off."

#10 "Good and bad," is how coach Paul Johnson called the morning practice and the play of his quarterbacks. "There's a lot of work to do and some young guys are going to have to push through."

Oh what the heck, here's one more thing that looks good to me...

...and something that looks REALLLLLLLLLY bad to me...

Former Gator QB hangs out with Jimmy Johns, breaks out da' mirror!

I know this isn't really relevant to the "HA HA your players are in trouble! EAT IT!" type of news I'm usually know for, mostly because this guy played back in the early 70's and I don't know who he is.

But if there was a 58 year old Florida equivalent to UGA's Quincy Carter, it would be in the form of John Reaves. AJC.com is reporting that Reaves is charged with aggravated assault with a firearm, possession of cocaine and introducing contraband into a detention facility. Again if this was any of the QBs from the 90's-2000's I might have more of a rub your face in it mentality...but unfortunately the coke habits of those players have been much better concealed.

Tebow was caught off guard returning from a "mission trip" to Columbia where he was "circumcising young Colombian boys"...and by circumcising young Colombian boys he means "like Jeezy I'm trafficking the white, please lord don't let me go to jail tonight."

After that came out, Urban Meyer cranked up the mass media cover-up for his golden boy, but fortunately I've got connections and was able to get a leaked copy of the infamous "Te-Blow" picture, also known as the Tim Tebow/Tyrone Biggums photo fiasco. The things I do for you, my readers.

Stay in school, kyyyds!


...in light of the recent gayness shown here I feel the need to let any readers who might misconstrue this fine journalism as "fact", that it is completely fake and as far as I know Tim Tebow doesn't do cocaine. Plus we all know meth is the drug of choice for Gators and Gator fans.