It took less than 24 hours for all Hell to break loose on your "DUI". If the DUI was your biggest problem my post below would have stood. But from police reports it sounds like the DUI is going to be the least of your worries.
I'd say Mama Bear (far left) allowing your testicles to stay attached is #1.
AND, as I write this I get an update from AJC saying you've been canned. Way to go, pal. In one night you managed to get a DUI, get busted cheating on your wife, and lose your job. I would have let the DUI slide, but you've got to be a real dirtbag to cheat on your wife, family man. That's why the official position of Blogging Pantsless has performed an about face.
Have fun celebrating your Independence, Damon. You've let more people down than you realize, and to top it you've made me look like a fool for supporting you which is the WORST of all your offenses. I wanted to eat burgers today, not crow.