well...I figured it out.

Earlier this morning I was having trouble figuring out who to give the (Sammy) "Hagar Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Screwing Things Up for the Rest of Us", and I finally figured it out.

Yes Officer, that is definately the woman I saw kill Van Halen.


I love movies. Sometimes I'm even willing to give movies I don't think I'll like a shot, sometimes. Imagine if you will, you are a top-dog at Disney several months ago. In the near future your Pixar studios will release WALL-E which you know is going to make you millions. As you lean back in your office chair and light your cigar with a $100 bill, a lowly employee enters your office to pitch an idea to you.

You hear him out, thank the guy, send him out, then immediately proceed to call your superior telling him you've got an idea that is nothing less than solid gold. He gives you funding, you pass it on to production and tell them to make you this movie.




Someone is responsible for this...whomever it is, you just got yourself a Hagar Award.

My beef with Beverly Hills Chihuahua is the sheer un-originality of the idea. I know it's not targeted to me, but geez, if I had kids I don't think I'd take them to see this movie. Perhaps this is why I'm not in Hollywood because I don't understand, but I'll take a movie based on the life & times of one Larry Munson in the near future if they want my ideas.

Until then, congratulation "Go Ahead" guy at Disney, you're a douche, and you just won yourself the Hagar Award!

WOOT WOOT IT'S WEEKLY AWARDS TIME!!1

If you will recall, at the end of the week is when I award people who exemplify awesomeness with the Lee Roth Award, and those whom are the picture of douche-i-ness with the Hagar Award.

This will be a two-part post because #1 boss-man's got me covered up, and #2 I still haven't figured out who I thought sucked the most this week.

So let's get this party started with some positivity!



This weeks winner of the Lee Roth Award for Awesomeness is...

Sol Price!!!

For those who may not know, Sol Price is considered the warehouse-retail store pioneer. Today we may know his most excellent achievement known as Costco which was merged with Price Club in 1993. A year and a half ago, a Costco opened near my house...my life has never been the same as evidenced by the photograph below.


That's right, the 72 pack box of Bagel Bites. I placed it next to my wife's stand-mixer so you can see the mammoth size of the box alone. Not to mention there are 6 individually wrapped packs of 12 inside just DARING me to eat them all in one sitting.

Sol Price, the roof of my mouth thinks you're a bastard, everyone else knows without you we'd have to buy our 50 gallon drums of mayonnaise from the Chinese...and nobody wants that. Therefore I honor you with the company of Senator Blutarsky in the inner circle of Lee Roth Award recipients.

Tune in later to see who gets to hang out with Terence Moore in the losers-bracket known as the Hagar Award winners.

WOOT WOOT IT'S WEEKLY AWARDS TIME!!1

Welcome to the first installment of The Weekly Awards!

Each week I will take the time to honor the biggest douche of the week with the Hagar Award. But not to end the work week with negativity I will also reward a scholar/gentleman with the Lee Roth Award!

As you might have noticed, these awards are named after former Van Halen singers Sammy Hagar (better known as the blonde chick who ruined Van Halen) and David Lee Roth (the guy who made kicking ass cool, then uncool, and then cool again all because he could).

So lets get this show started!

This weeks recipient of the Hagar award goes to...



TERENCE MOORE
Terence Moore, only you could make a living out of trying to piss off the majority of Georgia residents. If you're not complaining about why the Braves don't have any black players, you focus your attention on wondering why the death of the most beloved college mascot is such a big deal. In trying to figure it out you make the following statement...

"Other colleges have lovable mascots, and that includes Georgia’s dreaded rival in the Flats, where Buzz has ranked among the top of his profession for years."

I'm not even going to start on how many levels this is comparing apples to pimple-faced, Warcraft playin', socially retarded oranges. Mr. Moore, you deserve this award and I hope traffic is so bad on your drive home that you can't drive 55.

______________________________________________

The honorary first ever recipient of the Lee Roth Award is...



SENATOR BLUTARSKY
of the UGA blog Get The Picture

After a bit of flattery and a few large unmarked bills (mostly SCANA and COMCAST), the kind Senator gave me my first big addition to a Blogroll by someone who isn't a college friend of mine. Senator may every single firework you shoot off tomorrow land in the neighbor's yard who lets his dog poop on your property. As the first honorary winner, Mr. Blutarsky I believe teacher needs to see you after school.