Blogging Pantsless

Close the book.

2012-01-10T07:27:00.006-05:00

That's it folks. The 2011 football season is officially over. Congratulations to my team-in-law on their 14th National Championship, @Olivethetweets was ecstatic last night and I was happy for her (regardless of how much gloating she did...and YES Sweetheart, calling the Dawgs "the Cubs of the SEC" is gloating no matter how kind-hearted your intent was).

But that brings me to my next point, one thing I REALLY was not looking forward to is our fanbase today. Almost as much as I dreaded reading about us after the Outback Bowl. Be it on Twitter or some of the blogs I read, I just know somebody is going to compare our current state to that of Alabama football. It's not that I can't handle reality, because I can. I can admit that Alabama and LSU are both programs much better than ours. What I can't stomach is our fanbase. Yes, our fanbase.

I love a good 90% of you guys. But the remaining 10% lack a fundamental understanding of...well...understanding.

Every fanbase has it, but lately I just get fed up with hearing the whining and bitching that we aren't Alabama, or we aren't LSU...can you not be happy just being Georgia?! College Football is cyclical and here is how I see it following our last 10 win season in 2008:

2009 - New QB leadership (Joe Cox). No Stafford. No Knowshon. Lots of NFL talent lost following previous season. Willie's last year as DC.

2010 - New Freshman QB. New defensive staff working with players they didn't recruit. OUR RUNNING BACKS WERE CALEB KING, RICHARD SAMUEL, AND WASHAUN EALEY.

I'm making a lot of excuses, but when your cogs and personnel turnover happen at the rate it happened for us over the past 3 years...then YEAH expect a dip in quality for your program.

2011 - Started out like crap. Lost to the 2 toughest opponents on our schedule right out of the gates, but we saw a few signs of hope. When was the last time you had an ounce of faith in your defense? Did you see the season Jarvis Jones had? We watched Malcolm Mitchell become our next big passing threat. And our fans who want to bitch about Isaiah Crowell not playing on an injured ankle which NONE OF YOU, NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU WITH A "source" IN THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT OR A FRIEND WHO HEARD SOMETHING knows the extent of pain he felt trying to turn on a dime while carrying nearly half of our team's rushing yardage.

Getting suspended for smoking weed? "Yeah, what an idiot" says the guy in Law School who took a year off to follow Widespread Panic. Crowell has a ton of talent, and probably an attitude to match it, but we stuck a ton of pressure on an 18 year old kid and he performed well when able. Cut him some slack.

Remember the difficult time we had recruiting when these superstar high school athletes wanted playing time instead of earning reps behind AJ Green? Well, they went to other schools and some of these other schools are performing with them. But with a couple of down years, now it's UGA's turn to recruit high profile talent who can come in and make an instant impact. Last year's Dream Team did a helluva job for a bunch of young guys. I'm pretty pumped about the prospect of guys like John Theus, Jordan Jenkins (whom I just found out about this morning), and Keith Marshall (Isaiah Crowell is gonna grow up REAL FAST this off season).

We've got a defense that will return a lot of guys, really hoping Bacarri comes back for what could be an awesome year. The biggest names we lose offensively are Ben Jones (which will hurt) and with a little luck Orson Charles sticks around (which my insider source in the athletic department heard from a friend of a friend that he will).

This is Mackie being honest. Take a step back from the ledge. UGA football is not in a downward spiral following a 10 win season where we won the East with a bunch of young guys. In watching my wife's excitement last night searching out Bear Bryant quotes to post, it made me think. The Bear is without a doubt in my mind the absolute best coach in the history of the game. Mark Richt will probably never be Bear Bryant, but there was time in college football where patience paid off.

1967 - 8-2-1 (73%)
1968 - 8-3-0 (73%)
1969 - 6-5-0 (55%)
1970 - 6-5-1 (50%)

That's Alabama football, correction, that's Bear Bryant football in a 4 year stretch between some of their program's most storied seasons.

The game has changed, I'm well aware. Every fanbase expects a new coach to win immediately (see our jort-wearing neighbors to the south). But it's a cycle and as long as you aren't in the lower echelon of the SEC you'll have your time to shine in the national spotlight. Eventually Tennessee will be Tennessee again, eventually South Carolina will be South Carolina again. When my wife and I were still dating, I saw some pretty awful Alabama football games. Since my wife and I have been married, she's seen some pretty awful UGA football games. And now that we're expecting our first child there is a pretty good chance he or she will see some pretty good and pretty awful games in their lifetime.
(...still looking for one of these)

I've always been a patient person, sometimes too patient. It probably doesn't help that I'm turning into this worthless ball of emotion when I see a sonogram of my baby. I might be going soft when it comes to taking a stand against what is acceptable from UGA Football, but when I put it into perspective I like what I see, no matter how frustrating it can be sometimes. I'm happy we went for it on 4th and 1 in Michigan State territory last week. You know why? Because we didn't go for it on 4th and 1 in Central Florida territory last year. We wanted Mark Richt to take more chances this year and he did. On-side kicks against South Carolina and LSU were huge (yes even though the USC one was overturned on a crap call) but if you're willing to take the good when it happens, then suck it up and take the bad too.

Mark Richt is not Nick Saban, but Nick Saban isn't Mark Richt either.

2012 can be something special for the Dawgs. Stop bitching and get on the bus.

Go Dawgs.

Halloween Pumpkin

2011-10-24T06:30:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the light posting...PPPTTpTtppttt. Sorry couldn't pull that off with a straight face. Been busting my tail with work, travel, and fine tuning my yet-to-be-picked-up television pilot where I dress up as an old white woman, say crotchety old things to young folks, and have a bunch of mis-pronounced catchphrases...OH LERRRD!

But every year I do a UGA themed pumpkin. This year I originally had a stencil for a Wrath of Todd Grantham pumpkin, but decided against it.
Too much detail, not enough motivation, so instead I decided to do a funny clown!

If you're familiar with Muschamp Stare...
...then you'll LOVE...

...MusCHUMP Stare Pumpkin!

Just a warning for the children who come to our door for candy this year, if you stand in front of Muschump Stare Pumpkin for too long the eyes will burn the phrase "BOOM MOTHERF%#KER" across your forehead. Not a good idea if you plan on having a professional career one day.

...and as always, I'll provide the official Halloween sign for Dawg Fans to be printed out and nailed to your front door.

Happy Halloween, kiddos! Hate a Gator today.

Alabama fans...

2011-08-30T06:00:00.003-04:00

...being Alabama fans.

While doing some covert-ops in Birmingham, @OliveTheTweets and I stumbled across this little gem at a College Sports store at The Summit.

Being that my wife is a graduate of the red elephant school, I had to talk her out of purchasing 37 of them (one for each of their National Championships by her count), but I still love her.

Pantsless Predictions: Parts IIII - IIIIIIIIIIIII

2011-08-24T05:08:00.003-04:00

Working out of state this last couple of months has really screwed up my ability to write meaningful, quality predictions of UGA's upcoming 2011 football schedule...

PPSPSPSTTTPTPPTTTTT!!!1

I couldn't really write that without laughing in my hotel room, everyone knows my blind faith that UGA should win every game and a few "C-"s is what hold me back from quality journalism and writing good and doing other stuff good too.

So while I'm taking a break from surviving massive earthquakes (that could have passed as a violent gaseous emission and/or a brief encounter with 2 beers at lunch) I figured I'd spend a little time on the ol' blog wrapping up my season predictions for the Dawgs.

9/24 - at Ole Miss
I'll go out on a limb and call this one a "W". With a little luck one of their 3 QBs will get into a fight and cap off the night in a jail cell after popping a cop in the lip. Nah, that'd be far too unrealistic to expect in the SEC. Lets just hope we show up and play a solid game and get some back-ups in early for reps.

10/01 - Missy State
Part of me fears this game more than the Auburn matchup later in the year, the other part reminds me that they are Mississippi State and up until last year we hadn't lost to them since '74 ten meetings prior. Unfortunately for us these aren't the same lousy Bulldogs that base a good season on winning the Egg Bowl...Dan Mullen has these guys wanting the West (however unlikely that may be).
This is a toss-up, but for S's & G's I'll call it a loss because running on the South Carolina theory of "I don't know if we suck or are teh awesomexorez" I'll play it safe and call it a Loss. Please prove me wrong in October, I'd love it.

10/08 - at Tennessee
To win this game you've got to have opportunity, and by now we all know where opportunity is in Knoxvegas. "W" for the good guys.

10/15 - at Vandy
Hope they get that bull semen cleaned up off the floor because we're going to drop a lot of Vandy jaws. Not just a "W" but perhaps the biggest hurtin' we've put on Vanderbilt in the last 20 years.

10/29 - Florida (WLOCP)
I'm not entirely convinced Florida will win a single game in the month of October. Bama>LSU>Auburn>UGA...that's a helluva stretch and even with their bye week before the Cocktail Party they've faced some real bruisers leading up to us. Toss in a new coaching staff and the fact that everyone but UF thinks John Brantley sucks and I think we've got a win over the team I like to beat most. "W"!

11/05 - New Mexico $tate
...give 'em a paycheck and send 'em back west. "W".

11/12 - Auburn
(prior to reading, press play on YouTube player below)
Phil Steele said these guys are gonna go from first to worst, I love Phil Steele. If you were as pissed off as I was about Auburn's foul play last year...AND DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A SORE LOSER BECAUSE I DIDN'T WAIT 6 LOSSES INTO THE SEASON TO MAGICALLY START THINKING THE WINNING TEAM IS PLAYING DIRTY...then you'll agree we've got some demons to exercise. Therefore I hearby declare Slayer the official house-band of Blogging Pantsless during the week leading up to the Auburn game, and "Raining Blood" shall be our National Anthem.
I don't want to beat Auburn this year, I want to absolutely dismantle them. I want to see John Jenkins with a piece of Auburn jersey in his mouth a la Ben Jones dining on Tech's field. I want to see the ENTIRE Auburn coaching staff have to sit through a game we dominate from start to finish. I want us up by 50 at the end of the first minute. I want the student section to photoshop Cam Newton's face on a bunch of $200,000 bills and make it rain onto the Auburn sideline every time we score. Honestly, if we're kicking ass all season and Auburn is haplessly flopping around with a losing record, I wouldn't mind us breaking out the black jerseys again just to completely obliterate this team emotionally as well. Last year's game lit something in me that burns with the fire of a thousand suns in the Hate-O-Sphere. If there was ever a time for Todd Grantham to prove to me that he cares about this team and will hold a grudge, this is it. If we're up by a million in the 4th quarter with :10 left, BLITZ 11. If they get a first down with :09 left, BLITZ 12. Put your hob-nailed boot on their worthless mullet-covered necks and squeeze the love of T-Top Camero's out of them. We will win this game, and we will destroy Auburn. "W" period.

Well, that was cathartic...now where was I? Ah yes...you may stop the YouTube player now.

11/19 - Kentucky
Lots of people calling this a trap game, I'm not one of them. Kentucky will be horrible this year. We'll still be so jacked up from beating Auburn we'll handle them easily. "W".

11/26 - at Nerds
The in-state rivalry game always tends to be a little close. If we're the real deal this year Tech will try and play spoiler to a great rebound season for the Dawgs. What exactly will Tech be playing for? The ACC Coastal?!? One man's trash is another man's treasure...I guess. Anyway, Coach continues his streak of away wins against Tech and we keep calling it Bobby Dodd Stadium at Historic Mark Richt Field. "W", Tech fans finally begin to question whether or not Coach Manboobs' is actually going to live up to Mark Bradley's expectations.

So with a little quick math that puts us at.....(scribbles on paper, mumbles somthing)...(carry the 1)...(rabblerabblerabblerabble)....10-2!

Does that win the East? Dunno, depends on if South Cackalacky decides to fold under the pressure of Media expectations. Everyone assumes they'll win the East, I hope they sincerely believe that and assume the East will be a cake walk...makes it easier for us.

GO DAWGS!

Random Thought

2011-08-23T15:27:00.001-04:00

With every passing day, I want to win the first 2 games against Boise State and South Carolina more and more.

So considering the condition of our backfield, I thought I'd throw this out there for Isaiah Crowell...whom I'm sure is an avid reader of blogs who post sparingly.

If you turn out to be the real deal and we start the season 2-0, I'll buy a super-thuggin' Georgia hat like yours and wear it for the rest of the season.

If we win the East I'll wear it through the end of your college career.

If we win the SEC championship, I'll wear it until the damn thing rots off my head.

Now I understand the team will not win or lose on Isaiah's shoulders, but I have faith in our defense, QB, and for the most part the wide receivers (hearing some INCREDIBLE things about Malcolm Mitchell's amp going up to 11)...but if our O-Line can bust open some holes I'd love for Isaiah Crowell to give us the offensive weapon we recruited him to be.

GO DAWGS!

Redcoats...up your game.

2011-08-01T10:40:00.002-04:00

As a former drum-major and band geek I didn't find it hard to appreciate this.

...I'm thinking the Redcoats should do an AC/DC show and utilize the low brass for a closer of "For Those About To Rock".

Pantsless Predictions: Part III of IIIIIIIIIIII

2011-07-01T10:09:00.007-04:00

September 17, 2011
Coastal Carolina School for the Paycheck
Athens, GA

Looking back, I've got us at 1-1 going into this game, but I'll make this quick since I want to get started on my long weekend.

Dawgs 100, Chinnuts 3

I'm assuming these guys are earning somewhere in the upper hundred-thousands to come to Athens and play the Dawgs. But as you can tell, I'm also assuming we win heartily.

I know very little about Coastal Carolina, but last year they got a 31-0 paycheck from West Virgina, and were co-champs of the Big South Conference with a 6-6 overall record...so that gives me a little insight.

They aren't actually called the Chinnuts, Coastal Carolina's mascot is the Chanticleer...

...which appears to be a teal rooster with set of these under his beak, the eyes of Raiden, and a sweet arm tat!

Aside from making fun of their mascot, I got nothin'. I'm hoping our offensive line makes it safely through the first 2 games of the season and we give our back-ups the chance to earn some playing time. Lord knows we need some experience and depth up-front in case any starters get injured later in the season. Fingers crossed everyone's ankles/knees/extremities stay connected and safe throughout, but you can never be sure due to how often these guys get piled up.

Have a good July 4th weekend ere'body! If you have a desk-job avoid Alabama firecrackers. Just try hitting "Enter" with your ring-finger, you'll never hold a lit M-80 again.

GO DAWGS!

Les Miles > M. Night Shyamalan

2011-06-21T08:39:00.007-04:00

Over Twitter this morning we were discussing Les Miles and his brand of football. I'm a fan of ALL college football, but lets face it...LSU football under Les Miles is extremely entertaining and enjoyable for those of us without an emotional attachment to the Bayou Bengals.

Whether it's eating grass, mismanaging the clock, or no-look-pass "Field Goals" (h/t @BernieDawg) even as a die-hard Georgia fan I find Les Miles to be wildly entertaining in a Faces of Death style football sort of way.

This reminded me of the ending to last year's LSU/Tennessee game. I watched this game at The Golfsmith in Kennesaw while putting around with my father-in-law. In case you don't remember how this ended...here's a refresher.

LSU football (since Les Miles took the reigns back in 2005) has done what M Night Shyamalan has failed to do in every movie since The Sixth Sense, he gives the game a final plot twist that you don't expect. In every one of Shyamalan's films you go into it thinking, this is not how the story goes...something odd will happen at the end. But since football is such a conservative sport, even with a "Mad Hatter" type character in charge one is bound to think "Perhaps this time he'll play it safe and attempt a field goal for the win." ...Nope.

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't meant to be a Les Miles schmooze-fest. I'm merely pointing out that he brings a lot to the table when discussing the entertainment value of college football. LSU fans have an affinity for deep fryers at their tailgates, so when that much cholesterol mixes with stressful, intense sports management I'm sure Coach Miles has thrown the occasional corndog aficionado into cardiac arrest.

I find LSU to be the most watchable college football team that I could care less about. I root for them against the SEC East as long as they aren't playing Georgia, and if they want to pound Auburn on occasion I'll gladly cheer them on. Deep down, I think most of us would enjoy small amounts of crazy in our head coach. If it prevents all future field goals from the UCF 2 yardline, I'd take Timothy Leary drinking a Big Gulp of Mercury (Hg) rather than suffer through that frustration again.

Less that 75 days 'til football starts, oh how I long for thee...
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
GO DAWGS!

UPDATE:

Just saw this at Get The Picture...talk about timing.

UGA/Bama '02

2011-06-17T09:12:00.005-04:00

Since we are sub-80 days until college football starts, I get in the habit of searching out old YouTube videos of the Bulldogs. I came across the UGA/Bama game from 2002 and it reminded me of how special this game is to me, personally.

When @OliveTheTweets (OTT) and I first started dating, the first college football game we went to together was UGA at Alabama in 2002. Many of you know this as the "Man enough, Dawg enough" game because of Pat Dye's redonkulous claim that UGA wasn't "man enough" to beat the Crimson Tide at Bryant-Denny Stadium.

Since OTT was still a student at Alabama during this season, she was sweet enough to get us tickets to the game...in the Alabama Student Section.

I wore my UGA gear and cheered when the Dawgs played well, and took my lumps when the Dawgs blew their lead later in the game. As Billy Bennett sent it through the uprights for the game-winner I WOOFed even as the cups came raining down.

OTT and I would eventually attend 3 future UGA/Bama contests where the Dawgs hold a 3-to-1 record (yes we were at the Blackout Game). But the '02 game is special to me because it was the first time we didn't cheer for the same team. The week leading in to these games is ALWAYS fun, and as I sit here reading Phil Steele predicting UGA and Bama in the 2011 SEC Championship Game I get all excited and tingly. I promised her anytime our 2 teams play I'd do my best to get our butts in the seats, so in this regular season when we don't faceoff a Championship on the line would be pretty sweet.

This isn't a great post, if you've been reading Blogging Pantsless for the last 4 years you understand mediocrity is the norm and greatness should be left to the awesome bloggers in my blog-roll (column right). But when I saw this game on YouTube I felt compelled to dedicate a post to my wife, who gave me Alabama as a team-in-law, and makes me laugh with her trash-talk on the rare occasions our 2 teams meet.

I long for the days when Alabama was just an okay team and Georgia found a way to win. I've got high-hopes Coach Richt will turn our team around, but I'm a self-professed Richt apologist so even if he doesn't I'll probably be the only Dawg fan left saying "give him one more shot".

Keeping the faith in 2011, happy Friday folks.

GO DAWGS!

Helmet Archive

2011-06-09T07:35:00.005-04:00

I stumbled across this the other day and thought it was cool enough to share. It's a website of historical helmets encompassing college and pro ranks called, The Helmet Project.

Perhaps the coolest thing I found was regarding my most hated rival, the Florida Gators.

"In 1962, Florida put the Confederate Battle Flag on the side of their helmet for one game. That game was the Gator Bowl game with Penn State. Florida was 6-4 and Penn State was 9-1 and Penn State felt that playing Florida was a slap in the face since they were 9-1. Since Penn State felt that way Florida put Battle Flags on the side of the helmet to pump the team up. It worked when Florida won 17-7."

...as a fan of college football, history, and the South I'm neither appalled or offended (remember this was is 1962). In fact I find that to be pretty damn cool that an SEC team shoved it in Penn State's face. Perhaps the most shocking thing was discovering the Gators played football prior to the 1990's.

Another interesting bit of SEC history is what Tennessee did with their 1965 helmets...good luck to anyone attempting a design like that in 2011.

No real shockers in UGA's helmet history, but I take great pride in saying I saw in person how HIDEOUS the October 31, 2009 helmet was in person. Never forget, never use again.

Pantsless Predictions: Part II of IIIIIIIIIIII

2011-06-06T09:00:00.000-04:00

September 9, 2011
University of South Carolina
Athens, GA

Raise your hand if you SERIOUSLY thought Stephen Garcia would never play another down for the Gamecocks after the Old Balls Coach suspended him for the 5th time in his college career?

Alright, those of you with your hands raised lower your hand onto the hot eye of a stove because that's your punishment for stupid thoughts.

...yeah, this guy takin' a whiz at Augusta looks like a real rules Nazi.

5th year senior Stephen Garcia will in fact return to drive the Chevy Cruze of college football we know as the South Carolina Gamecocks. Why is USC like a Chevy Cruze? Well, one minute you're enjoying a fun ride in what you think is a quality, low-budget automobile...then next thing you know, disaster strikes and the steering wheel falls off.

Not that I'm slinging mud, because Lord knows Georgia fans aren't really in a great position to trash talk, but the Gamecocks are notoriously streaky. They usually end up with a few baffling losses each year after knocking off a big boy here and there and it costs them serious contention in what used to be a relatively difficult SEC East.

Well that's no longer the case. As I sit here reading prediction after prediction of South Carolina as the preseason favorite in the East (sans Phil Steele WOOT WOOT) I can't help but realize that yes, this Gamecocks team has the stability, experience, and talent to indeed win the East.

...but that doesn't mean the Bulldogs, Gators, and (oh why not?) the Vols are gonna just roll over from 20 years of division dominance and hand it over to them.

The Gamecocks play us like we're their 2nd biggest rival, we play them like they're our 4th biggest rival. That probably has a lot to do with why Georgia appears to embrace the shootout culture surrounding this game and occasionally loses it.

Last year's game in Columbia was frustrating.
...given, ANYTIME we have to travel and play at Dead Cockroach Stadium tends to be incredibly frustrating.

The only good thing to come out of that game was that Washaun Ealey got to see an example of what a program's premier running back looks like. That introduction to Marcus Lattimore exposed our weak tackling, and our inability to score a touchdown only compounded problems when #3 coughed up the ball on a relatively solid 3rd quarter drive toward the end-zone. AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!1

But the game wasn't lost by Washaun, it was lost as a team.

So this year, our TEAM went out and got our own Marcus Lattimore, bulked up our D-Line, and spiced up our S&C program. We as fans get to enjoy the game in an environment where trees grow and you're not in the middle-of-nowhere's warehouse district. I don't think there's a Dawg out there that doesn't know the importance of this game. Since South Carolina is the team to beat, we sure as hell need to beat 'em.

The only problem is South Carolina is a good, balanced team. If SOMEHOW we shut down Marcus Lattimore, we have to focus on Alshon Jeffrey. If Stephen Garcia doesn't get suspended for a 6th time and starts this game he's got the experience and know-how to pick us apart if we show a weakness. I'd love to get Big John in there and get some grass stains on the back of Garcia's jersey, but for a team as fundamentally sound as South Carolina the opportunities may come few and far between.

MY CALL:

UGA 20, South Cackalacky 24

I hate picking the Dawgs to lose, but until I see them play September 3rd I have no idea how this team looks.

Too many question marks and a thin O-Line makes me question whether we can keep Ellis Johnson's defense out of Aaron Murray's face-mask. Plus it doesn't help that this year we have to worry about the nation's #1 high school recruit, Jadeveon Clowney (who made grades).

If Isaiah Crowell lives up to his billing, our defense melds into the juggernaut we're hoping for, and the crowd makes Sanford Stadium's atmosphere electric this prediction could go out the window. I think Aaron Murray is twice the baller Stephen Garcia is, and if Orson Charles and Tavarres King pick up 1/2 the slack free'd up by AJ Green's departure we'll be in good shape.

I love the Dawgs, and I want them to win, but since we all know there is no such thing as WILLING your team to victory (even against a Conference USA opponent), at this time I'm not quite ready to say we can beat South Carolina.

Please prove me wrong, I would be delighted.

GO DAWGS!

Pantsless Predictions: Part I of IIIIIIIIIIIII

2011-05-31T07:15:00.002-04:00

September 3. 2011
Boise State
Georgia Dome

Let me preface this post with a little-known fact about yours truly.

I EFFING HATE HORSES.

I hate the way they smell, the way the prance around, and their stupid Sarah Jessica Parker faces.

On my honeymoon I was viciously attacked by one of these beasts on a nightmare experience I refer to as the 1st/last/only time I went horseback riding.

Long story short, after 2 hours of being bounced around uncontrollably by one of these monsters, my horse takes off galloping. Apparently the lead horse didn't like the way I was managing my horse...because we all know these horses listen to first time riders and not their owners who direct them with a series of whistles. But anyway, my horse gallops past the group and as we approach the lead horse, that MF-er reached out and BIT me on the leg like it was an ear of delicious, grilled silver queen corn.

I'm not over-reacting and saying he nipped at me, that horse LATCHED ON to my leg just above my right knee-cap. So I did what anyone in my position would do, I yelled "SON OF A BITCH!" and punched him in the nose.

...yes, I punched a horse in the face. IN THE FAAAAAAACE!

And then, the world went in slow motion, just like in Rocky 5 when Rocky punched a horse, the 1000 lb animal reared back on his 2 hind legs, whinnied, and then fell over like a little bitch.

I felt sorry for the woman riding the lead horse, I immediately hopped off my horse and went to make sure she was alright. I (and most of the civilized world) knew I was strong...but I didn't think I was knock-out a horse strong. So I apologized to the woman (but not the horse, he can rot in horse Hell because there is no way those soul-less, dead-eyed savages are welcome in Heaven) and I said SCREW THIS and hopped on an ATV to go back to the ranch while my wife finished the ride.

So now, with that background knowledge, you can understand why the Boise State Broncos are not quite in my circle of trust due to my history with their mascot's breed.

Aside from this, myself like most people in the SEC, don't take Boise State seriously. They've got a nice, shiny 0'fer going against Arkansas, South Cackalacky, and us in 4 attempts. Not the conference's worst trio, not our best, but I'd say that's a good middle-to-upper echelon of SEC opponentry.

My only problem with this match-up is that now most people in the SEC don't really take Georgia seriously either, and who can blame them?!? We've had two real stinkers of a season the past couple of years. But here's my call on this game (keep in mind, predictions 100 days out tend to be as accurate as government forecasting and incredibly bold).

UGA 26, Boise St. 17

I think our biggest problem going into this game is going to be our offense. If the line holds up, if the running game gets going, and if our receivers can hold onto passes we're golden.

I think Boise State has a great team that will win a lot of games this year, but the Chick-Fil-A College Kickoff ain't one of them.

I'm so pumped up about our defense this year with Big John Jenkins (6'4"-340 lbs) and Kwame Gathers (6'5"-350 lbs) at Nose. Watching either one or a combination of the two plowing over Boise States starting Center (Thomas Byrd, 5'11"-284 lbs) should be a lot of fun. If this puts pressure on *COUGH* Heisman *COUGH* candidate Kellen Moore to rush his passes and hopefully not give him the opportunity to pick apart our weakness at Safety, then the score difference might be greater than I predicted.

Can't wait to see Isaiah Crowell on the field to see what this kids got. I doubt he'll get the first round of carries, but you're smoking crack if you think homeboy is sitting out this dawg-fight. There's a lot of hopes/dreams riding on this young man's shoulders and if he's got the motor and the legs to give our running game new life, UGA could have a great season.

Go to the :21 mark, if you think Washaun Ealey wouldn't be downed BEHIND the 40-yd line, then go ahead and make him your school's Premier Running Back.

Go Dawgs!

New Enemies for 2011

2011-05-29T21:29:00.002-04:00

If you'll scroll down and take a look at the "Know Thine Enemies" section of the blog, you'll notice links have been provided for the scheduled opposition. Feel free to click around and troll their posts with trash talk.

GO DAWGS!

Pantsless Predictions: Preamble

2011-05-28T20:40:00.007-04:00

We are less than 100 days away from college football. In fact, 98 would be the exact count until the Dawgs head downtown to tee it up between the hedge-funds.

But this brings us to the time of year where college football junkies like myself start to declare this the "Year of the Dawg" and slowly begin a downward spiral towards "OMG HOW R WE GOING TO BEAT (insert worst team on schedule)!?!1?" by the first game's kickoff.

For the guy that once declared Joe Cox would shock the world and lead the Dawgs to victory over the Gators, 2011 year is going to be different.

I expect great things year to year from Georgia. Every Summer, I assume we're going to win the East and then play for a National Championship...then Fall comes around and for the last 2 seasons reality sets in and next thing you know, you put all your hopes and dreams on beating Tech just to save face.

It's been a REALLY long time since UGA had a season as craptacular as last year's. In fact, I believe the Olympics were in town if that tells you anything.
A losing season?!? WHATIZIT?

The SEC East is a bust, South Carolina is the expected to win the division by people OUTSIDE of Columbia?!? When the Gamecocks have established themselves as a front-runner in football, we've GOT to figure this thing out.

I'm a notorious Mark Richt apologist, and I was furious with the guy after we started out kicking a fieldgoal in the red zone against UCF in our post-season celebrity appearance (please dear God don't tell me that was our bowl game). He has a way of melting my heart with his Mayberry smile, his Slingblade haircut, and his overall nice-guy-ness. But dammit under things I want separate, I file my church, my state, my football, and my football coach's likeability.

For Pete's sake the guy can't even sell his lake house out of fear of losing his job!

Aside from what an awesome human being Mark Richt is, we wouldn't know his name if he wasn't the coach of the most popular football team in our state. Sad, but true. We expect this man to lead our football team to Championships every year, so there's a lot on the table for Markie-Mark. My hope is that he shuts up his critics and gets to stay around for another 10 years, but my next few posts will focus on whether or not I think the Dawgs have got what it takes to rebound from an AWFUL season and make the Bulldog Nation fall back in love with Mark Richt.

GO DAWGS!

Columbus-Carver

2011-04-18T14:39:00.005-04:00

...perhaps Coach Richt should ban all Columbus-Carver players from visiting until Coach McGee apologizes. That would be poetic justice.

I perhaps they'll get the chance to play with Zach Mettenburger someday in the prison yards (or LSU).

News Quickie

2011-02-17T08:16:00.010-05:00

The Senator does a good job of summing up the story on Al from Dadeville. Pro-choice Al perform this Arbortion after being provoked by seeing a Cam Newton jersey on the Bear Bryant statue in Tuscaloosa.

This admission is a complete shock to me. My initial accusations went to Yella Fella whom I presume had a beef with the Auburn Athletic Department. That guy knows all about treating lumber and has told the ticketing office NUMEROUS TIMES to change the nameplate on the Osmose Suite to the YellaWood Suite.

Calls immediately went out for crimson colored Spike 80DF t-shirts to be printed (and I'd be lying if I told you I wouldn't throw $20 toward that investment). But seriously, Al, if you're reading this. Please send some Spike 80 this way so I can finally kill off that holly bush that rears it's ugly sprouts every year in my landscaping. I've tried everything but it keeps coming back.

Aside from the Barners whining about someone poisoning their old-ass trees, the other big news yesterday dealt with the hiring of a new coach for our defensive staff. On Twitter yesterday there were several "knock out" lines being thrown around regarding who the new coach might be...

...this of course led ME to believe the Dawgs were going to hire...

...unfortunately, Iron Mike was NOT the hire our friends at UGASports.com were referencing. Looks like Todd Grantham landed a guy actually capable of coaching and not just a former-boxer-turned-actor-slash-Phil-Collins-enthusiast who will scare the hell out of our players into making plays.

So allow myself to welcome Kirk Olivadotti to our Coaching Staff. I always love bringing NFL experience down to the college level because my assumption is the kids you're coaching respect where you've been and trust your advice to get them there as well. I shouldn't have gotten my future hopes up to purchase a noble-looking, Irk Russell-esq portrait of Mike Tyson with blood running down his chin...but that falls on me, not Coach Olivadotti.

I'm making the same yearly mistake of getting my hopes WAAAAAY to high on the Dawgs, but all signs are pointing to a solid foundation for the 2011 season. I shouldn't assume 2010 is in the distant past, but we gotta move on and drink that memory away. There's a lot to be excited about for our defense this year, but I'm most pumped to see Big John Jenkins (6'4", 340 lbs) going nose-to-nose with Boise States' Center Thomas Byrd (5'11", 281 lbs). Here's hoping for a massacre in the Dome September 3rd...Lord knows both the fan-base AND Coach Richt need a big win.

Go Dawgs!

Milestones > Kidney Stones

2011-02-16T13:51:00.002-05:00

While I wasn't blogging I happened to notice I crossed the threshold of 150,000 hits.

Thanks for your support during busy work season (aka slow blogging season). Hope to have a season worth writing about this year.

GO DAWGS!

@Reverendraydrew

2011-02-11T08:29:00.004-05:00

I hope it's not her Favorite Things episode, I don't want every other school to have their own Ray Drew at DE.

QB Trickshot Vid

2011-02-10T05:00:00.001-05:00

Your move, Aaron Murray. (I think he should film his video set to the music of The Clash's "Straight to Hell" as a rebuttal to M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" sampling)

Thanks, Dr. Saturday.

Dawg Suspended.

2011-02-09T09:43:00.004-05:00

If the rumors are true that Washaun was just being a punk with an attitude, I really hope he gets his act together. It's beginning to look like Caleb King was feeding his homework to UGA VIII and we'll need a veteran RB out on the field this Fall.

We're all pumped about Isaiah Crowell getting some carries, but in addition to him Ken Malcolm and Carlton (Banks) Thomas would be our only other options if Caleb flunks and Washaun decides he's more important than the team he plays for. Malcolm is a question mark, Thomas is undersized, and we're looking at a true freshman to be our own Marcus Lattimore. I'm glad to have him, but lets keep the horse before the cart.

Last season I had no faith in our running game. I wanted fresh legs to play because our corp was NOT getting it done. I had high hopes after watching Washaun run all over Georgia Tech in 2009, but he started to buy into his own hype and he's looked like a thug ever since. I hope the new S&C program teaches him some humility and gets him prepared to be a leader for these new guys. Otherwise keeping Ealey around to "mentor" highly touted freshmen is a recipe for disaster.

For Coach Richt's own good, here's hoping for an off-season where our players don't attempt to emerge from any alleys. Go Dawgs!

Ray Drew

2011-01-28T15:54:00.003-05:00

A lot has happened in the last month. For one thing, I haven't posted a dadgum thing. Secondly, Georgia dropped a deuce of a game at the Liberty Bowl and Dawg fans were slightly less than sunny toward Coach Richt. Then out of nowhere we start landing huge recruits for the DreamTeam and now people are ready for Coach to turn things around and get UGA back where they SHOULD be.

Today's big recruit started my day off right. Ray Drew's 10am-ish announcement put me in a fantastic mood and the day only got better.

After his announcement he issued the following statement:

"I just want to say, after the end of Jay's (Rome) announcement, I heard your call," said Drew. "Isaiah Crowell, we're waiting on you. Antonio Richardson, we're waiting on you. John Jenkins, we're waiting on you, and Jeoffrey Pagan, we're waiting on you. Come join what we have put together as the Dream Team. But remember, a dream is only a dream, until you make it a reality. I'm calling you out on this one. I hope you're not afraid to be thrown into the fire, I hope you're not afraid to be the ones who make the change."

Immediately turning around and trying to recruit our next biggest targets will get you brownie points, but NOTHING will make the fanbase love you more than if you turn into David Pollack reincarnate.

It'll be good to see the old #47 jerseys in the stands again (another beautiful reason to love college ball...constant turnover of uni-#'s).

But heres a vid of our new Five Star recruit, The Pastor of Disaster, the Minister of Defense, whatever you want to call him...lets hope he pans out and makes the Dawg Nation proud we waited anxiously for his decision.

3 Independence Bowl Thoughts

2010-12-28T13:52:00.002-05:00

1. AAaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

2. Since we got a great deal of crap from last year's Orange Bowl losers about how much it must suck to go to a crappy bowl, I found this outcome only fitting. At least their streak is still alive, 6 straight bowl losses...AND COUNTING!

3. AAHAHAHAAaaaaHAHAHAHa!

I picked against Tech in my pick-em group (because the ACC is a safe-bet "Loss") but I expected Tech to win. I didn't watch the whole game because...well...because it was really boring. Anyway, nice losing season, Nerds.

(Hoping my beloved Bulldogs get their act together and finish strong against an inferior UCF team so the same fate doesn't befall us)

Happy Birthday!

2010-12-21T08:45:00.003-05:00

Today is my birthday. I turned 28 this morning to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls and coffee my wife had prepared before I departed for work. When I rolled my sorry tail outta bed I was met with a heartwarming "HAP-PY BIRTHDAAAAAY!" like something straight out of Frosty the Snowman a la Rankin-Bass.

It doesn't feel much different than 27, and I'm pretty sure I'm reaching that point where birthdays aren't what they used to be. I've got everything in the world I could ever need, and the only thing that I want is to spend time with my family once I'm off work.

Perhaps this is what birthdays are meant to be about after the thrill of turning 21 wears off. But don't get me wrong, I still like to get my blackout on just as much as the next guy. Now-a-days it just means my tolerance is so low that now I only require a few drinks to party. I would file that under "fiscal responsibility" but the beer I used to drink in college cost $10 for a 500 pack. Refined taste comes with a price tag.

All that aside, I'm looking forward to this evening with my wife and parents. I couldn't be luckier to have people who care this much about me and the occasional person who swings by my blog to read about it.

As a side note, since most of you know what a music fanatic I am, today is also Frank Zappa's birthday. He should be 70 today but instead he's stretched out in an unmarked grave in Los Angeles somewhere. Unfortunately prostate cancer research wasn't really what it is now back in the early 90's (so guys, get your poopers checked). The man was a musical genius and a warrior for the 1st Amendment. Take a minute to watch this interview of Frank on The Today Show that was done just before he passed away.

Aaron Murray Highlight Reel

2010-12-02T08:28:00.005-05:00

Stole this from Paul at GSB because watching it made me feel hopeful about next year. Great job pr1sonmike!

Outside of Aaron's outstanding play, and AJ Green's catches, the biggest surprises for next year might be WR Tavarres King and TE Orson Charles.

I know I've been M.I.A. since before the Auburn game but just because I haven't been posting doesn't mean I haven't been following the Dawgs.

6-6 isn't how any of us thought this season would end...especially not with THIS schedule.

If nothing else the Tennessee win was fun, but that was probably the apex of the season for me. But I liked that we didn't get obliterated in any games like last year...unfortunately we didn't win many of the close ones either.

I'm surprised at the disappointment in Todd Grantham's defense. Perhaps I'm out of the loop but I planned on giving him a pass this season. Here's hoping he gets the big-ass Nose Tackle he needs this off season.

As far as where my disappointment lies, it's not so much on Coach Grantham, not so much on Coach Bobo, and I still haven't turned on Coach Richt. I don't know who this falls on besides the players themselves, but whomever is in charge of making sure we secure the football...THAT is the guy I'm pissed at.

I didn't relish the win over Tech like I have in the past. My wife is a huge Bama fan and she nailed it when she said "One of us handled a loss to our in-state rival better than the other handled a win." The sloppy play, the fumbles, and our inability to stop their running game was so frickin' irritating.

It reminded me of a fundamentals problem like our receiving corps had when Matthew Stafford was in his early seasons. The frustration I had with our dropped passes back then was surpassed by my outright ANGER at Caleb King and Washaun Ealey coughing up the ball this year.

I lost faith in our running game and our offensive line this season. Compounded with our losses and the learning curve on defense made for the 6-6 nightmare of 2010's regular season.

I'm thrilled we got a "W" over Tech, but I don't think we continue a 9-of-10 style streak very long playing like we did. The best part of the victory was getting more practice in for a Bowl game which hopefully gets us ready for Boise State next season.

I'm not a believer in the Blue-turf Broncos. I think they are a junk team that lucked their way into a few wins over big names. But they are solid in their fundamentals and right now we are not. Advantage Boise State. A loss to them might be the last nail in Coach Richt's coffin for the Dawgs on the fence about his coaching.

Looking forward to the Liberty Bowl, I love my Dawgs even during down years (I fell in love with Georgia during Ray Goff's 4-7 season...that's gotta be worth something). It looks like we'll either be matched up with SMU or UCF...I'd love to face George O'Leary again for old time's sake, but I'd be more comfortable if I was 100% sure we could beat them.

GO DAWGS!

ARGH!!!!

2010-11-28T12:09:00.001-05:00

That was the most frustrating game of the season for me.

I'm glad we won, because I frickin' HATE Tech...but we have some serious issues with fumbles.

@#$%^@$%&@$^*#%^&@#$^&*@!#$^%!(*#&$*^&!(*#&$

That is all.

Motorized Barstool

2010-11-11T16:19:00.004-05:00

While many tout the iPad or some other garbage Apple product as the greatest invention of the last 10 years...I beg to differ. I totally could have used one of these the other night when I was in no condition to walk. Apparently it's pretty simple to construct. All you need is:
1. counter stools
2. an old lawnmower
3. a friend who can weld (...you're on your own there).
4. a good lawyer

VOILA! Merry Christmas.

Remember 2006

2010-11-09T12:21:00.005-05:00

I know Georgia has had a tough season this year. But heading into the Auburn game this year, I'm reminded of 2006.

We were a 4-loss team wrapping up a rebuilding year. Our highly touted, freshman quarterback had looked shaky at times...but he was a freshman so we chalked it up to inexperience. There wasn't much else to play for that year but at least we were already bowl eligible.

My boss has been a season ticket holder since he graduated in the 80's and when I asked him if he was making the trip to Auburn that year he laughed and said "If the Dawgs can't show up for Vanderbilt or Kentucky, I wouldn't put much money on me showing up for #5 Auburn."

Cam Newton is good. Auburn is a well-coached team. All signs point to a loss for the Dawgs.

But when we hit the Plains this Saturday, remember 2006. It was the Matthew Stafford & Tra Battle Electric Boogaloo that kicked off a 3 game win-streak and had fans pumped up for the 2007 season. I'm not saying we'll beat them, but we haven't been blown out all year, and I think even the most pessimistic Dawg fan knows that. Our loss average this year has been by 7 points. Last year our loss average was 16+. We're a couple of tipped passes in the Cocktail Party from playing for the East (if's & but's, who cares).

We can't change the past, but we can be supportive and hold our heads high. You can hate Mike Bobo, you can hate Mark Richt, if you dare try to strangle Todd Grantham clearly you will have a fight on your hands...but you can even hate him too. But it won't change the fact that they're in charge of OUR team for the next 3 weeks, and I say, hopefully longer.

It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, and it sure as hell ain't over until WE SAY IT IS!

Aaron Murray, this is your time to shine. Put down the Shake Weight and uncork the magic we felt back in 2006. GO DAWGS!

5 Year Anniversary

2010-10-22T10:47:00.004-04:00

If you've noticed the lack of posting lately, that's been due to me busting my tail trying to get work wrapped up.

Why am I getting work wrapped up?

Well, today 5 years ago I married the girl of my dreams. You might know her as "Sweetie" from the comments section when she tells me my post wasn't funny or I've made an ass out of myself.

Aside from all that, Sweetie has put up with a lot of my crap in a 5 year time-span. I'm a very lucky guy to be married to such a great girl, so for that I'm preparing for a nice little vacation.

The house-sitters are moved in, the dogs are at the puppy resort, our bags are packed, and after a great dinner tonight we plan on getting very little sleep as we anticipate our return to one happy island.

We first vacationed in Aruba on our honeymoon and have been waiting 5 years to make it back. In fact, you might not realize this, but everytime you visit Blogging Pantsless you see a picture from my honeymoon. Recognize this bad boy?

But long story short, I'm going to be even more lazy with my posting over the next week so lets keep those expectations to a minimum, folks. I fully expect UGA to mop the floor with Kentucky and beat the crap out of Florida while I'm gone. I've picked against the Dawgs in my Fantasy Pick'em groups which generally guarantees a victory for us. I'll catch the final scores overseas, but football will be a distant 2nd focus over the next week. I plan on giving all my time,attention, and charm to the love of my life...even if she is a Bama fan.

GO DAWGS!

Bulldog action in your home via Dish Network Georgia

The Shakeweight Fiasco

2010-10-15T08:03:00.005-04:00

...is this Aaron or Josh? (please say Josh)

If we somehow turn this season around and finish strong enough to get a Gameday hosting, I wouldn't expect this picture to completely disappear. Even those idiots in Auburn are smart enough to blow-up a picture at Kinkos.

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica

2010-10-14T13:35:00.002-04:00

At least Ole Miss picked the "best" bear.

...well, actually there are 2 schools of thought.

Still waiting on the lines to come out showing the Over/Under on # of days until an Ole Miss fan photoshops blackface onto a picture of Paul Bryant in a cleaver attempt to exercise politically incorrect mascottery.

I think the only thing worse than being a coward and bowing down to bed-wetters is losing to Jacksonville State in football. It'll be funny to watch how poorly Pedobear is received by the fanbase on Saturdays.

Cry me a river, Gaytors.

2010-10-14T09:34:00.003-04:00

Anytime bloggers write a letter to the fanbase telling them to chill the 'eff out, it means they have doubts...such doubts.

But as a Georgia fan, who has endured losses to Mississippi State and Colorado, I would like to let the Gator fans know that if they want my sympathy they can find it in the dictionary between "s#*t" and "syphilis".

...it's from a song, people.

2010-10-14T09:29:00.002-04:00

No, ELO isn't actually saying "Bruce" but it's like the CCR song that goes "...there's a bathroom on the right".

Don't bring me down, Bruce.

2010-10-13T21:33:00.005-04:00

That's a fine lookin' dawg.

I'm wearing my bold prediction pants...just kidding, I'm not actually wearing pants right now...but I declare UGA VIII will end the Florida dominance streak.

Why do I say this?

No idea. But it's time, and this is the mascot I'm pinning all my college football hopes & dreams on. I'm looking forward to seeing the changing of the collars ceremony this Saturday. So a new era begins in Athens, but first, I'd like to address our interim mascot.

Dear Russ:
Thank you for your service to the Bulldog Nation. You beat some big names, and your lost to some slopsuckers. But during your tenure we went through a period of self-discovery that was long overdue. You transitioned us into a new breed of Bulldawg ready to take the field. For that, we salute you, and from all the Dawg fans out there I want to extend to you a laurel and hardy handshake...

...good dog, damn good.

Sincerely:
Mackie

Big Bad, lets get those nuts iced down, Noon games are warm out there. You've got a team to represent and one helluva grind coming up in 2 weeks. Make it happen, boy.

Teh Georgia Running Game

2010-10-12T20:17:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty excited about the chance #24 Kendrun Malcome might play this weekend.

When was the last time you had this little faith in our RB's ability to:
#1. Run with authority.
#2. Hang on to the ball.
#3. Make big gains.

I was actually surprised Caleb King is averaging 5.2 yds/carry, but given we've been sending guys up the gut of an O-Line that hasn't opened up gaps I guess I should be "pleasantly" surprised. I enjoyed watching Aaron Murray carve up Tennessee's defense through the air, but the remainder of our schedule doesn't consist of Tennessee's defense. We've got to establish a running game that is competent, dependable, and sticky-fingered.

Malcome isn't a squirrely, juke-machine...he's a big, hard-running tailback who might spin his way into a few extra yards here and there. He ought to get a few carries in the first 1/2, but once we put it away give it to him often so he gets the reps. Start him in our impending loss to Kentucky, (cricket sound...cricket sound), then if he's the real deal let him split carries with the vets in the Cocktail Party.

If we're gonna be coughing up more balls than Christian LeMay's highschool-lady-friend we might as well get our youth some experience...am I right?

I'm pretty pumped because I'm finally getting some free-time to get up to Athens for a game. As you can tell by the splotchy posting I've been busy doing things that pay bills rather than blogging. Hopefully I'm catching a break just in time to leave the country later this month, but I'll try to get as much posting in as possible until vacation time. If not, I'll see you suckers in November when the Dawgs are back over .500.

GO DAWGS!

GrillTopper Open Issues

2010-09-28T08:01:00.003-04:00

Alrighty, folks.

I got an email response back from my contact at GrillToppers who was in charge of operating the GrillTopper Open. As it turns out he has taken a new job, he's no longer with the company, and nobody was willing to run the group in his absence.

I'm sorry the game got cut short, but unfortunately that's the end of the GrillTopper Open for the 2010 season. Maybe next year I'll take the bull by the balls and run one myself.

Sing Along, Dog Nation.

2010-09-27T10:32:00.002-04:00

...because sometimes you just want to take a walk in outer-space and sing about feelings with your short, effeminate, perm-haired friend.

Go Dogs!

...and one more thing.

2010-09-27T09:07:00.002-04:00

We lost our right to be the "Dawgs" this year. Please mail your card to:

Dan Mullen
c/o Athletic Dept.
Mississippi State, MS 39762

Play like dogs, get called Dogs.

This sucks.

2010-09-27T08:44:00.002-04:00

Quinton hit the nail on the head...and I read:

To borrow a metaphor from nineteenth century European history, Georgia is the "sick man" of the SEC. A former power that has run into hard times due to repeated setbacks, relevant only because of its reputation, size and affiliation with other great powers. Georgia is withering before our eyes. When a team that has won championships in recent memory begins to lose battles with State, Kentucky, Arkansas, and South Carolina, none of whom have won a championship in longer than recent memory, the only conclusion is a degenerative, sustained illness. An illness consuming the patient, who is condemned to a slow and painful death.
I am still hesitant to jump on the Fire Coach Richt bandwagon...but this team isn't making that decision easy. What I'm experiencing is a sense of questioning, and that doesn't bode well for our current coaching staff.

My biggest concern is that football (pro and collegiate) is an ever-evolving sport. In this arena of SEC competition you've ALWAYS got to be 1 step ahead of the other guys. I used to think it was important to have a consistent staff for recruiting and coaching purposes. Perhaps the regular turnover of coaching staffs in the SEC is due to necessity rather than an irrational fanbase running these guys out of town.

I love Coach Richt, he is a great guy and has a history of quality coaching. But he's got to prove that his gameplan is still relevant in this conference. Otherwise the barking will continue to get louder until Greg McGarity's will be forced to make a career-defining decision.

I'm still holding out hope that this team won't throw in the towel and start phoning it in on Saturdays. But when I enjoyed watching the Falcons more than the Dawgs our team is in a sad state of affairs. Our fanbase is hurting, we want to believe in you, Coach...please get it together.

GrillTopper Open

2010-09-27T08:24:00.004-04:00

I've received a lot of emails saying the GrillTopper Open booted you out. I tried to sign in today and it wasn't even appearing on my Fantasy League board anymore. Once I figure out what's going on I'll let you know. Until then, I'm working on it.

Bubba Sparxxx

2010-09-25T07:56:00.001-04:00

Since bringing back the old Gameday theme didn't work last week, we'll try a different Bubba Sparxxx jam.

GO DAWGS!

UGA Husband, BAMA Wife

2010-09-24T09:59:00.004-04:00

I am a Georgia fan. I bleed red & black. I married a girl who went to Alabama. I've already covered the concept of "team-in-law" but I'm a little unsure about the following:

I don't think the Razorbacks will beat the Crimson Tide this weekend, but who exactly should I cheer for? Do I love Georgia so much that I would actually root against my team-in-law so to not make our loss look that bad? Because obviously if the #1 team in the country couldn't beat Arkansas either then perhaps Georgia's loss wasn't really all that unexpected...right?

I was pondering the above and then I saw this little piece of magic.

Now everything seems so clear!

WOOOOOOOO PIG SOOIE!!1

Rush Concert

2010-09-24T09:32:00.002-04:00

I figured it would be worth a shot at asking, but do any of you guys have some extra Rush tickets for next Wednesday? I can find tickets, but I'm looking for 2 good seats. I've never been to the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in Alpharetta so I don't know much about the venue, but I'm a HUGE Rush fan. Shoot me an email if you're trying to get rid of a couple of tickets and we'll work something out (email listed in the column to the right).

I saw them back in mid-2000 for the R-30 Tour but it was at that crap-hole Lakewood. That venue (and area) is so awful I refuse to see concerts there anymore.

But like I said, I'm a huge Rush fan. I have all their albums (live and studio), I went to see their limited release documentary in theaters, and my wife hates my 2112 t-shirt...help a brotha' out. There are few things more spectacular than hearing the opening "BBZZZZZZZZYYYYYYUUUUUUUUU" of Tom Sawyer live and hearing the crowd go nuts.

Missy State

2010-09-24T08:50:00.003-04:00

Dawgs win big. We lost to two unusually talented Arkansas and South Carolina teams. There is a talent gap between Mississippi State and Georgia that gives me confidence we take care of business this weekend. The players know we've given away all our freebies, it's time for the lines to gel, players to step-up, and errors to disappear.

Dawgs 34 - Dogs 10

I plan on sitting down and watching UGA football with the volume turned off. I just saw on The Senator's page that Bob Rathbun is calling this one. This clown used to call Braves games and if I'm not mistaken still does the Hawks play-by-play. He is by far my #1 most hated voice in sports, I'd rather listen to Pam Ward than Bob Rathbun if that puts this into perspective.
The voice matches the face...think about this picture when you watch the game tomorrow night.

Dunphys at the Rose Bowl

2010-09-23T07:23:00.004-04:00

If you love Modern Family as much as I do, you watched the season premier last night. Phil and Claire were going to sell the station wagon they drove to the Rose Bowl in, and began to reminisce about the good times of that trip. When asked by their son "what happened?" Phil stated the outcome of the game was "...we got pummeled by Penn State."

Well, I did a little research and apparently Phil and Claire Dunphy attended the Rose Bowl in 1995 (for the 1994 season) and if "WE" got pummeled by Penn State, that means THEY are Oregon fans...which is unfortunate.

Penn State is 1-2 all time in the Rose Bowl, and the only time they won was in the mid-90's. If in fact Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal in the Parade of Roses (as Phil stated), then "good times, she wrote" indeed.

Thoughts on the Dawgs

2010-09-22T07:07:00.002-04:00

I've been pondering how exactly to approach the status of UGA football. I don't want Coach Richt fired (ftr I didn't want Jim Donnan fired at the time either) but I don't want to settle for mediocrity. If this just another rebuilding year? The best possible outcome from here is for us to run the table and watch South Carolina and Arkansas play in the SEC Championship Game...(yawn).

I'm not hopping on the FIRE RICHT/BOBO/RUSS bandwagon quite yet. I'm giving this season a chance. I thought Aaron Murray fought valiantly to get us into a tie game after we came out sluggish. I thought the defense made some great stops. I also think Arkansas and South Carolina have some superstar athletes and right now Georgia is struggling to identify a leader while AJ Green is on the sideline.

I think the season can turn around, I really do. Seeing what Paul wrote about the improvement from last year on Defense was a ray of hope toward that. More than 2 TDs and 2PAT cut from the totals against each of the MUCH improved Arky and USC teams is a step in the right direction.

You can say I'm settling for mediocrity and that under Richt Georgia will never win the big one. But right now I don't see any viable options that WILL win the big one. Chris Petersen?!? Bitch, please. Even Dan Hawkins says you have a weak argument.

I'm giving the Dawgs until 2012 to get 10 wins and beat the Gators at least once. If they don't, it doesn't matter because the Mayan calendar says we're all screwed by then anyway.

Time to go on a 5-game tear Dawg fans. Mississippi State is next, time to step up because you can't afford to drop this one! GO DAWGS!

Tight Ends

2010-09-21T11:29:00.001-04:00

...BTW did anyone ever discover why exactly our Tight Ends were a non-factor last weekend? Were they covered THAT well or did we just avoid them like the plague. Orson Charles is RARELY contained which makes me assume he didn't return Aaron's copy of Halo: Reach and that pissed him off.
Halo: Reach, your game-time may depend on it.

...sigh

2010-09-20T06:00:00.001-04:00

Yeah, I'm officially killing the Thursday Homeless 3. That segment has been nothing but bad luck. I'd probably have much better luck with slot machines and online video poker than assuming one of those stinkin' bums would correctly pick a Georgia opponent to lose.

Thoughts and more later this week...busy at work.

It's Gameday!

2010-09-18T09:57:00.002-04:00

...and because ESPN won't change the damned theme song back, I will.

Georgia loves Bubba Sparxxx. GO DAWGS!

Homeless Thursday 3

2010-09-16T08:32:00.006-04:00

After a surprising turn of events, last week our homeless panel of experts went 1-2 on their picks. Unfortunately for the Bulldog Nation the bum who picked South Cackalacky was correct.

This week, we've got a whole new set of urban outdoorsmen to assist us in picking 3 of the SEC's biggest conference match-ups!

Looks like Sam Walton III picks the Razorbacks.

Nu'Keese Richardson likes Derek Dooley's chances this weekend!

Ol' Jackie Sherrill could use some work...ON HIS PICKS!

Oh Noes Teh Dawgs Iz Failxorz!!1

2010-09-13T07:58:00.005-04:00

Yep, Georgia lost an ugly game Saturday. Somehow Carolina found a way to stop runs up the middle, and Georgia didn't. However, that is NOT intended to devalue the run-away pantie-magnet that is Marcus Lattimore. Seriously, I don't think any SEC team is looking forward to trying to stop that kid. Aside from our missed tackles (taking no less than 3 defender's touches to get the kid down) I would love to ask Stephen Hawking what kind of physics based, time-space continuum allows a human who is 2 yards tall to fall forward 7 yards.

But Lattimore or no Lattimore, if Orson Charles catches the TD pass and Washaun Ealey doesn't fumble in the red zone and we score, we've got a tie ball game. Also, if "IF's" and "BUT's" were candy and nuts...then we'd all have...candy and nuts...or whatever.

I would have liked to see Mike Bobo call some non-running plays when our backs were against the wall, but he didn't and I'm not the OC so really all I can do is bitch about how much losing sucks. I will say I was amazed how quickly it seems everyone has bought into Paul Finebaum's Fire Mark Richt campaign. The best retort to this I can find comes from Lucid Idiocy who argues,

"Misspell "lose" once, and it's not worth mentioning. Do it three times and it discounts your opinion considerably."

Claiming he doesn't "want it" enough doesn't really mean anything to me. I'm pretty sure if not "wanting it" equaled losses then Bobby Johnson was skipping practices to smoke weed and listen to Panic. The better team won Saturday, blame whomever you want...(like you needed my blessing).

If you're looking for a blog to support opinions like this: ...then you might want to take Blogging Pantsless off your RSS feed.

Perhaps I'm too patient (hell, I thought Jim Donnan should have gotten another year) but realistically I expected Georgia to go 9-3 regular season. Freshmeat QB and a new defensive package isn't going to give you an undefeated season in the SEC. That being said, if we don't OBLITERATE the next 6 opponents I'll be a little nervous about where we're headed. If I'm wrong and we screw the pooch over next few weeks I'll dim my outlook, but for now I think South Carolina will surprise some folks this year. Will they win the East? Well...not quite ready to fit them with that crown just yet because they've got Auburn, Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Florida to get through.

Don't jump off the bandwagon just yet, Dawg fans. We've still got some good opportunities to get back in the race. Hopefully we've breaking down film, learning to wrap-up, and REMOVING THE SHOULDER TACKLE from our habits. GO DAWGS!

Has the NCAA seen our Trapper Keeper?

2010-09-10T06:00:00.001-04:00

Lets just pretend, instead of asking the NCAA for an appeal on AJ Green's excessive ~~celebration~~ suspension that we're asking them about our Trapper Keeper...

...either way, the response is probably the same.

Making Green Lemonade

2010-09-09T07:05:00.004-04:00

By now you've probably heard AJ is suspended 4 games for selling a jersey. I don't know anything about it you haven't heard already but I'm here to provide a little sunshine.

#1. Georgia Tech is lucky, they never have to worry about athlete/agent interaction.

#2. If we had to lose AJ for a sequence of 4 games, I would rather it be the first 4 (ULaFa,USC,Arky,Miss St) than the middle 4 (Col, Tenn, Vandy, KY), or GOD FORBID the last 4 (UF, Idaho St, Auburn, Nerds).

#3. When the best receiver in college football is eligible again, he will be 4 Saturdays fresher than any of his defenders (assuming they haven't also been suspended).

#4. The Senator reminded me, we beat a Top 10 opponent (Tech) last year without AJ Green.

#5. Should Georgia run the table on South Carolina, Arkansas, and Miss St without #8, by the time AJ returns we should be getting some serious love from the polls. What do you think a mid-season boost by adding a playmaker like AJ Green is going to do?

Stay limber, #8. We are going to expect the world out of you in October...it's kinda our thing.

The Homeless Thursday 3

2010-09-09T06:00:00.000-04:00

I'd like to institute a new segment here at Blogging Pantsless called the Homeless Thursday 3. These bums will give you thoughtful insight into which picks to make on the 3 biggest upcoming SEC games of the weekend. If you choose to tip the homeless for their sports expertise you might get your car windows cleaned with a spraybottle full of urine and wiped off with a Creative Loafing...God bless.

First up, Homeless Bill:

Our next bum is Ice T Bowman:

Our last expert requested to go by the name DJ X-fatty:

There you have it. Some bold predictions from our panel of urban outdoorsmen, but we will see how their picks unfold next week. Until next time, that's our expert's two cents...which they're going to need back if you can spare it.

Georgia Defense: The Joy

2010-09-08T08:24:00.005-04:00

Easily my favorite part of the opener against ULaFa was watching Todd Grantham chew out Bacarri Rambo. I only enjoyed this because I knew the win was ours (even before the first half) and because I knew Bacarri Rambo knows better and he just wanted to make a big hit...which didn't pan out and left him looking foolish for getting burned. Hopefully, lesson learned.

Lucky for me, The Grit Tree posted this video yesterday by Ghostoferkrussell:

Also, this could be completely unrelated, but if you're anything like me and you were wondering how Utah State was able to hang in with Oklahoma to a final of 31-24...you need look no further than here.

New Tailgating Toy

2010-09-08T07:22:00.000-04:00

It appears I'm going to be getting a new toy for this year's tailgating season. I've had several cool goodies in the past, but this one might take the cake. I'm not talking about new grill toppers or dutch ovens (click the link, I promise they aren't what you think).

Once I've officially received my new toy I'll do an indepth post regarding its awesomeness! Until then, GO DAWGS!

The Arrival of Football

2010-09-08T07:07:00.004-04:00

Just returning from a long weekend at Orange Beach, I've returned to the work force...yet something is different.

The work weeks will begin to fly by, the office talk will centralize around the happenings in Athens, and it is apparent that football has arrived.

The commute becomes a battle in-and-of itself. I drive the top end of the perimeter from I-75 to I-85 and back every day. My allegiance is to Georgia, should your vanity plate have anything other than a bulldog head on it...well...all I can say is hopefully someone else will let you merge from 400. The same goes for those of you with car magnets and window flags. Early on Tennessee fans will litter the roadways with their flags until they remember their spit-cups and stop rolling down the windows.

The mornings have a crispness to them. The evenings are made for eating ice-cream and watching the sunset through the trees. Thursday nights the Tech fan heads downtown for his hotdog and Coke dinner at Mark Richt Field.

Louisiana Community College, Arkansas Backwood U, Virginia Tech, and Tennessee College for the Blind have cashed their opening week paycheck to be another team's whipping boy. As long as you aren't Arkansas or ole miss (thank God) you are done with the cupcakes and ready to play some decent competition. Oh, and if the Mississippi fanbase can return their SEC membership cards to Mike Slive that'd be fantastic before Jacksonville State gets their version of this built on Hwy 78.

Football is upon us, and we've got a doozy of a game this weekend Dawg fans. I predicted a loss because it keeps the expectations of greatness slightly muted, but I will pick the Dawgs to win...you ALWAYS pick the Dawgs to win. It'll be a knock-down, drag-out because both teams looked really good. But if our defense can find a way to keep Lattimore and Garcia on their backsides we're going to win.

I wish cupcake blowouts didn't pump me up so much, but they do. Aaron Murray looked like a born leader out there and as long as we can keep him from scrambling this weekend he should remain in 1 piece. The defense shined 99% of the time, and the 1% they didn't Coach Grantham put the secondary in a human centipede with Bacarri Rambo at the #3 spot.

I love Georgia football, and it has arrived. Go Dawgs!

Watch a Nerd Get Hurt

2010-09-01T07:53:00.002-04:00

If you live in the metro-Atlanta or Macon area, you probably can pick up the The Regular Guys show on Rock 100.5. There is a snotty little douche named Sebas on the show who went to Tech and does nothing but brag about how smart he is. Lucky for us, they did a bit where we get to see him get blasted with a pressure washer...enjoy.

I love watching nerds get hurt being stupid, it makes me happy.

GrillTopper Open

2010-08-31T07:35:00.003-04:00

Just a quick update. The GrillTopper Open is up and rolling, you can make your Week 1 picks. Follow this link, and do your research 'cause there are some doosies this week.

LSU/UNC
Boise/VT
Mizzou/Illinois
TCU/Oregon St
Kentucky/Louisville

...smellin' some upsets!

Football, I missed you so much, never leave me again.

Disillusionment

2010-08-27T15:30:00.003-04:00

The wife was on a business trip in Little Rock this week. She, being of the Crimson Tide persuasion, was getting an ear-full from the Razorback fans over there. She was kind enough to email me some of their disillusioned statements. And I read:

•This is Arkansas’s year.

•We will beat Alabama in Fayetteville this year.

•We have a Heisman trophy candidate playing for our team, so we will win against Alabama.

•Alabama has an unknown defense, so Mallett can easily put up 50 points against Alabama. The question is whether Alabama can score 51 points.

•Arkansas will run all over Alabama’s defense.

•If we beat Georgia, there’s no way we’ll lose to Alabama the next week. If we lose to Georgia, it will be tougher for us to win against Alabama, but it still can and will be done.

•We are ranked higher than any other SEC team (…except Alabama and Florida).

•After we win, we’re calling you, and you have to “call the Hogs” for us.

•Back in the day, Arkansas and Alabama was a huge rivalry game (...back in the day?!? 1992 when we played you for the 3rd time eva?!?). You had to come to the state of Arkansas to find the best coach in history. We’re ready to reignite that this year with a win.

•Arkansas could very easily go undefeated. Worst case, we’ll lose one game the whole season.

•Arkansas almost beat both Alabama and Florida in the last few years (then time spent reminiscing the moral victories of almost winning).

•The referee kept us from beating Florida last year.

•Arkansas will be playing for the SEC Championship this year.

•Nick Saban is an evil man who will leave Alabama soon for something else (okay… everyone kind of says that).

Just wanted to share that with you guys. Apparently Arkansas = University of South Carolina West.

Pantsless Predictions: Speed Dating

2010-08-27T08:21:00.016-04:00

Since the paying job has thrown a huge wrench in my plans for blogging about Georgia's record this year, it looks like I'm forced to do a quick run-down instead of the usual mediocre analysis and garbage thoughts.

Thus far I've got us a 2-1 with a victories over U-LaFa and Arkansas. The sole loss coming at the hands of the Gamecocks. From here on out, here's what I'm thinking:

@Mississippi State - 9/25
Win.

Don't get me wrong, Dan Mullen is a great coach and will upset a team or two this year but it won't be the Dawgs. Fun fact: The last time UGA lost to Mississippi State there was no such thing as Wheel of Fortune...that's a long-ass time, folks. Dawgs win.

@Colorado - 10/2
Win.

"We won't have Joe Cox around to save Matthew Stafford's backside this time!" How weird was that to read? If you're like me you remember nothing about the Colorado game except we won by the skin of our teeth. Stafford played a stinker and Joe Cox saved the day. We'll be good, lets just hope we've got some oxygen tanks around for the big guys. Dawgs win.

Tennessee - 10/9
Win.

It's not about Lane Kiffin. It's not about the egg we laid last year. It's not about Da'Rick Rogers. It's about Vince Dooley "subtly and very conservatively" wearing something orange. Derek Dooley is a little snot and we will not lose this one. WILL. NOT. LOSE. Dawgs win big.

Vandy - 10/16
Win.

Everyone loves Bobby Johnson's replacement. Hopefully he learns his role early. Dawgs win.

@Kentucky - 10/23
Win?

Folks are calling this an upset game. I don't see it. I was at the pathetic display in Athens last year and it was embarrassing. Other than the last quarter, UGA outplayed Kentucky by leaps and bounds. Orson Charles had a banner day against the Wildcats last year and appeared to not get any touches in the second 1/2. Mike Bobo must have been fun to play NBA Jam against in the early 90's, God forbid he get the ball to anyone who's "ON FIRE". Dawgs win, why not.

Florida - 10/30
Loss.

I know nothing about how well our team will perform in this game. I see no reason to assume our team of new guys will beat their team of new guys. As I stated before I started making picks, I'm trying to play it safe this year...why not presume a loss and if we win say you knew all along we were gonna win? Dawgs "lose".

Idaho State - 11/6
Win.

Yawn. Dawgs win, this is the game to bring your toddlers and younger kids to...mark it down. Cheap, easy to find tickets, friendly-competitive atmosphere.

@OurBarn - 11/13
Loss.

We've beat Auburn for 4 straight years. I'd love to make it a .500 series (Auburn leads 53-52-8), but there is a small part of me that thinks we'll flop on this one as Auburn slowly becomes more competitive in the SEC. Therefore, I'll play it safe again and assume we lose against a hated rival. Dogs lose, but we'll finally get a bye week after a LOOOOOOONG stretch of tough football.

Kick back, relax, fire up the ELO, and watch the Egg Bowl...it's Bye Week, playa!

(cue Kernkraft 400, its time for...)
Georgia Tech - 11/27
Win.

Regardless of anything you hear from Heather Dinich, Georgia's rookie QB will probably have a good idea of how to play football by the LAST GAME OF THE SEASON. New defenses on both sides, but they are still Georgia Tech...so we win by default. 9 of 10. GO DAWGS! (Even if we've already got a new Uga mascot by this game, it might not hurt to bring Russ out with him just for good measure.)

Dawgs finish the regular season 9-3. Call it a 10-win season after the bowl game and the Dawgs keep the win-train rolling into an SEC Championship in 2011. Bank on it.

Falcons Poll Results

2010-08-25T13:09:00.005-04:00

The results are in, and it looks like I've got a plan now for the upcoming NFL season. As I posted earlier, I know little to nothing about professional football, but this year I'm willing to put forth effort in becoming a fan of the Falcons.

I committed to watching 3 Falcons games in their entirety this season, and you guys got to vote and pick which ones I WILL NOT MISS. You were able to select multiple opponents, and here are the teams you voted for:
87% of voters picked the Saints once.

46% of voters picked the Carolina Panthers once.

There was a tie for the 3rd and final spot with a 43% split between the Packers and the Eagles. But since I really like the Packers logo, and I despise everything about Philadelphia I figured it would be best if I gave the Eagles the last spot.

...because if you're going to cheer against a team, it might as well be a team from a city you hate.

But thanks for the help, I really don't know what to expect out of NFL football but hopefully I won't hate it too much. Go Falcons! WOOF WOOF WOOF!

GrillTopper Open 2K10

2010-08-24T05:19:00.001-04:00

Alright folks, it's that time again.

You've just been invited to 10-15 College Football Pick'em Groups. You've signed up for some, ignored the ones from your Facebook Friends you hate, and you're sitting pretty for college football to start next week. Well, it's time to add one more Pick 'Em Group to your list!

"But Mackie, why should I sign up for your group?"

Here's the answer, Son. For the second year in a row, Blogging Pantsless is teaming up with our fine sponsor, GrillToppers for the Grill Topper Open!!1

What's in it for you? Only the most badass tailgate grilling accessory on the market, Playa! Each week, the Group Leader in correct picks will win a prize. Last year we shipped out the Hotdog GrillToppers and several of you were able to seer your favorite football team's name into your food...outside of Heaven itself is there a greater prize in life?!? Me thinks not.

Here's how you sign up:

1. Follow this link to Yahoo's Fantasy League sign-in.
2. Group ID#: 12147
3. Password: grilltopper
4. Name your Set and make picks.
5. Prepare yourself for heartbreak after I mop the floor with you 13 consecutive weeks and hold a weenie roast in my honor where I seer "Go Dawgs" into a baker's dozen Oscar Meyer tube-steaks.

PRIZE UPDATE
I just saw on the message board for the GrillTopper Open, this year's prizes have expanded to include the following:
model HD Grill Topper (MSRP $17.99)
model 550 Grill Topper (MSRP $18.99)
Grill Topper Grill Glove (MSRP $18.99)
Grill Topper 3-piece BBQ Tool set (MSRP $19.99)
Grill Topper BBQ Apron (MRSP $34.99)
...nice!

Pantsless Predictions: Part II of IIIIIIIIII (10)

2010-08-18T19:56:00.008-04:00

Arkansas (9.18.2010)

The Deal: The Bulldogs under Mark Richt haven't lost to the Razorbacks in 5 meetings. In fact the Dawgs are 9-3 alltime against the Hawgs. But we are more than aware of the offensive firepower Petrino's Pigs will be bringing to Athens. An offense that AVERAGED 36 points per game last year(which is deceiving considering that includes 7 against Alabama and 63 against Eastern Michigan...whomp, whooooomp.)

But we are also aware of Willy Robinson's patented Country Crock Defense the Razorbacks field. A defense even Willie Martinez would scoff at, but that being said, he IS entering his 3rd year at UA and there is a slight chance some of the growing pains are in the past.

Here's what we were dealing with last year:

Richard Samuel might be mulling over a switch back over to RB after his performance in Fayetteville last year.

My call? Georgia wins...big.

This is our first home SEC game and the stadium crowd will be electric. I figured worst case scenario UGA splits their first two SEC opponents. Going on this logic, USC might not be the tougher opponent but Columbia is a hellish environment to play this early in the season at Noon. At least in Athens we have the benefit of burning up on our own turf with the crowd behind us and some SEC experience under our belt (Arky plays Tenn Tech and ULM before heading East to play us).

Aaron Murray will have a break-out game because if Joe Cox didn't have to thread the needle to put points on the board against their secondary, I doubt much has changed. HOWEVER, Coach Grantham better be showing OUR secondary the Ryan Mallet record breaking highlight reel from last year when they hosted us. He threw for over 400 yards and 5 TDs against our defense...no bueno. Raise your glass to Bean Anderson because if we're going to put Ryan Mallet on the ground he's going to have his hands full at Nose.

Hopefully we blitz him into making bad passes and we see immediate improvement from last years dreadful turnover-ratio. Dawgs D needs to come-up big, especially our secondary coverage against these guys if we want shot at the win. Should we not be prepared, September 18th could prove to be a LOOOOONG day for Dawg fans.

UGA/Arkansas: WIN

2/3 going into Week 4. GO DAWGS!

The World's Worst Falcons Fan

2010-08-09T10:17:00.006-04:00

That is the title I give myself. I know little to nothing about our team except that DJ Shockley is no longer employed by the organization and that is some UNEXCUSABLE BULL$#*+!!!

But seriously I've only attended 1 Falcons game in my lifetime of living in the metro-Atlanta area. I might have been 6 years old but I could be wrong on that, all I remember is someone spilled a beer on my sister and my father (who is a church minister) was FURIOUS! Unfortunately I doubt that was my sister's only encounter with alcohol in her lifetime. She being a huge Tech fan I'll assume drinking is what helped get her through the last 10 years...but I digress.

Back to topic, I wanted to make a commitment this year to watch more NFL football, primarily in my hometown market. After looking up their schedule I discovered the Falcons play 16 regular season football games. Therefore, I'm making a commitment to sit down and watch 3 Falcons games in their entirety this year. I know dedicating myself to less than 1/5 of a season is pretty underwhelming, but that's just the MINIMUM games I'm going to watch. I'd love to catch more, but I will watch NO LESS than the 3 best match-ups as voted by you. My wife would know best, that's a huge commitment for me.

But I'll need a little help from Falcons fans. Somebody has to instruct me about which games I should catch. Were a person to come to me and say "I want to watch 3 Georgia games this year, which ones should I catch?" my answer would be Florida, Auburn, and Tech (but the hammer-lock we're gonna put on Tennessee would be a SUPER-close 4th). The Falcon's schedule is posted top-right, vote so I have some good games to watch!

Also, please don't vote for a team just because former Bulldogs play for them. I love MoMass as much as the next guy but if the Browns are still the bums I assume they are then they probably shouldn't make the cut.

Pantsless Predictions: Part I of IIIIIIIIII (10)

2010-08-09T06:00:00.002-04:00

South Cackalacky (9.11.2010)

The Deal:
Look, I'm not going to tell you this is how it's gonna be. In doing so it would do nothing but jinx the exact opposite into fruition. The best I can do is tell you what I think might possibly have a small chance of maybe happening...possibly.

What does everyone say at the beginning of every season? ALL TOGETHER:

"SOUTH CAROLINA WILL SET THE TONE OF OUR SEC SEASON."

What that means is Georgia will probably blow out Louisiana LaFa and head into Columbia, SC with little to no idea about how we'll play against SEC caliber opponents. South Carolina won't be the toughest opponent we'll play all year, at best they've been a mid-level SEC opponent since the beginning. But for some reason they give us fits.

All the big boys have lesser opponents that do this. My best friend, who happens to be a Gator, told me Ole Miss is Florida's non-division parade-raining equivalent to our South Carolina. But I've long said the biggest problem we have with the South Carolina game is we play them before they realize they aren't a good team.

Every year South Carolina fans tell themselves they're going to win the East...every year they don't. This is a big rivalry game to them, but we've got so many freakin' "rivals" out there (Florida, Tech, Auburn, etc...) South Carolina falls off the radar of importance to us.

But people are calling South Carolina a dark horse for the East this year. To be honest, this might be the first year I take the threat of South Carolina to heart, because I have ZERO idea what expect from Georgia. If Todd Grantham's rhetoric stopped the ball I wouldn't doubt we'd beat the Gamecocks this year. But Steve Spurrier finally has a decent experienced offense in addition to the same stingy defense South Carolina has been known to field.

Aaron Murray doesn't have to beat South Carolina, the Bulldogs need to beat South Carolina. I think our offense is better than their offense, but is our offense better than their defense...hell, is our DEFENSE better than either their offense OR defense?!? I have no idea if we'll be ready.

But my final call on this game is for a Loss. I don't think we should lose, I don't really think we will lose, but I'm playing this year safe and trying to keep my expectations realistic.

I think after a few serious opponents we'll know what we're dealing with, but G-Day didn't tell me anything. Nothing. I want to believe we're going to be blitzing the balls off Stephen Garcia and nailing him to the salted Earth of Columbia, SC. But that's all wishing and hoping.

Fingers crossed I REALLY hope I'm wrong on this one. I've been wrong before, and my wife will be the first to let me know. I used to think Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady" was being sung as "Do the Lucky Lady"...as if "the lucky lady" were some dance to be done. When she found this out she nearly fell out of the car as it rolled down the interstate, I'm glad she had her seatbelt on.

You'll see a more reserved approach to my picks this year. I got burned pretty severely last year with some really crappy wishful thinking. The whipped dawg in me wants to play it a little safer, that way a loss will only ruin my Saturday and not my whole weekend. Perhaps I'm finally growing up...(fart joke).

UGA/USC: LOSS

1/1 going into week 3. Go Dawgs!

UPDATE: I also wanted to note, according to the poll posted last month, only 14% of you guys thought Aaron Murray needed more snaps if we're blowing out Louisiana LaFa in the 3rd. 53% said he should be pulled for Hutson Mason, and 31% thought he should be pulled for Logan Gray. I voted to get Hutson some snaps because if Logan Gray is going to put himself at risk of injury at WR then we gotta have a solid #2 Quarterback in reserve. Now if we stumble out of the gate (big IF), Aaron better get his act together REAL quick and play the entire game. But otherwise I'd say he's too valuable to leave out there in case some Linebacker thug from a whipping boy school wants to show how tough he is.

Pantsless Predictions: Preview of Part I of IIIIIIIIII (10)

2010-08-04T11:03:00.008-04:00

So last year I did a HATCHET job picking the Wins/Loses of the Dawgs.

Long story short, I did a lot of traveling last year to watch UGA football and they didn't win a single game I went to...that's pretty crappy to experience (especially because Stillwater, OK is a helluva drive).

But this year I opted to not buy any tickets off the season ticket form I share with a guy. Instead, I decided to spend a jillion dollars on 10th row seats for when Roger Waters comes to town touring the Pink Floyd classic The Wall. That should resolve the bad luck I brought to the team in 2009, but if nothing else you can thank me for getting us enough losses to can Willie Mart...or you can thank Willie yourself...whatever.

I'm omitting UL-Lafa and Idaho State from the Predictions only because I assume we will win...so there's your prediction, looks like they aren't actually omitted after all.

First up will be South Cackalacky. I've been busy the last week dealing with homeowner pleasantries like a broke-down washing machine.
You might be tempted to say "Hey Mackie, it looks like you're missing a few pieces to your washing machine."

I would be tempted to answer "You're right, but she's travelling and she'll be back Friday." ...but I wouldn't do that because my wife reads the blog and would give me that look that encompasses anger, regret, and sadness all in one roll of the eyes.

But I'm getting my act together and as long as the Braves continue to fall apart my focus will continue to shift toward the Dawgs and blogging like kudzu to a telephone poll. Thanks for your patience, football is nearly upon us. Masses rejoice!

Coach Derpboobs

2010-07-27T11:46:00.002-04:00

...that is all.

Farewell, David Hale

2010-07-19T10:57:00.004-04:00

I believe it was somewhere around Blogging Pantsless' 1 year anniversary. I'd gotten to the point where I felt I was pretty hot s#*% because I was averaging somewhere between 60-70 UNIQUE hits per day.

I don't remember what exactly I posted that day, but I saw my counter jump by 500 hits over the course of morning to noon. I immediately went to my log of referrals and saw 499 of them had come from David Hale's Bulldogs Blog.
My first thought was to write a post thanking him for the link and throwing a week's worth of traffic my way in one morning. My second thought was I probably shouldn't call opposing team's star players "gay" anymore if I'm going to be getting serious about this blogging non-sense.

But as it turned out, most Georgia fans are just as juvenile as I and enjoy the occasional name-calling so I kept it up. Though, I can't say how many...IF ANY, of my current readers came from being linked by David that day. But I can tell you his referral of Blogging Pantsless did A LOT toward motivating me to keep this train rolling. So for that, Mr. Hale...

...WE SALUTE YOU!

I say it's one of the South's greatest losses since General Bobby Lee. But have fun up in Philthadelphia covering those good for nothin' Philthies. I wish you mountains of prosperity, but may your baseball team lose EVERY SINGLE GAME until the franchise ships off to Las Vegas as a new team. God Speed, David. You will be missed around these parts.

You feel that? Your chest hair just grew 3 inches.

2010-07-16T09:35:00.003-04:00

You can go read Todd Grantham's quotes over at the AJC if you want to get pumped about our 3-4 defense.

The man has a way with words, lets just hope his money's where his mouth is...and that his foot is where slacking defensemen pass solids.

But aside from that manliness, I was making my rounds and found a movie trailer that will make men drool and women cower in fear. That film would be The Expendables. Here are the acting participants:

-Bruce Willis
-Sylvester Stallone
-Dolf Lundgren
-Steve Austin
-Arnold Schwarzeneggar
-Jason Statham
-Jet Li
-Mickey Rourke
-Terry Crews

Throw in "Paradise City" being blared throughout a trailer full of explosions/gun-fights/car-chases and you'd better check for porn under his mattress because your little boy just vicariously became a man...and he's only 4 years old.

For every wife/girlfriend who took their man to Sex and the City, The Notebook, Letters to Juliet, or anything starring Matthew Mcconaughey...payback is a HARSH MISTRESS!

(h/t Lucid Idiocy)

A Question Raised

2010-07-16T07:48:00.007-04:00

What makes Get the Picture one of the best Georgia blogs out there, is the fact that it's still technically football off-season and the article I read 2 days ago is already bumped to Older Posts on the next page...dayyyuuuuuuum.

But I was reading through this post the other day and contemplated writing something and just now got to it (...way to show initiative, Mackie).

The Senator covers some of Mike Bobo's comments regarding our lack of depth at QB. And at the conclusion of his post Blutarsky states:

"Sure would be nice if ULaLa were a thirty-point blowout with the bench getting emptied in the third quarter."

So that got me thinking, Aaron Murray is our starting QB without any NCAA career starts. We are opening up against a cupcake, so here's your hypothetical...

If we are blowing out the Ragin' Cajuns in the 3rd quarter, should we use that time to get Hutson Mason some snaps? I'm not overly concerned about the back-up QB situation, but GOD FORBID anything happen to Logan Gray as a wide receiver AND Murray bites the dust, our hopes & dreams rest on the laurels of a true freshman.
...but let it be known, he was a state record-setting, Tire Swing All-American.

So you guys play coach. Vote in the poll, top right. Keep in mind South Carolina is the following week, that's when $#!% gets REAL!

Georgia Tech Wallpaper

2010-07-14T05:27:00.001-04:00

Did you know if you wanted to visually tell the world what a dork you are, you can go HERE and download a sassy wallpaper for your computer desktop?!?

Nothing says, "Hi ladies, have you seen my collection of Star Wars Pez Dispensers?" like a GT Football computer background.

But you wouldn't want that, would you? Of course not. Chances are, if you're reading my blog on your own free will, you are a Georgia fan and know what a boobie looks like...in real life.

That's why you download THIS wallpaper instead!

...and the jokes write themselves.

Why We Won't Lose to USC

2010-07-12T14:43:00.004-04:00

It's getting to the point where before too much longer every Georgia fan (myself included) will being making bold predictions regarding the wins/loses of our beloved Dawgs for the 2010 season.

I'm seeing a trend that many fear our first lost will come at the hands of South Carolina.

Reasoning:
-Road Game, in one of the worst places to ever see a football game.
-No0b QB
-USC has an experienced team

-Our new defense hasn't faced an SEC opponent yet...well, technically true.

Our new defensive scheme will not have faced an SEC opponent. But our new Defensive Backs Coach, Scott Lakatos, coached the secondary of UConn last year and held the 'Cocks to 7 points and Stephen Garcia to a completion percentage of 42%.

So it is correct to say our new and (hopefully) improved defense hasn't faced a conference opponent. BUT to say our defensive coaching staff doesn't know what they're getting into couldn't be more wrong (which no one is saying, just thrown out for dramatics). Lets just hope Coach Lakatos kept his Trapper Keeper full of notes from UConn DC Todd Orlando, I think they'll come in handy.
GO DAWGS!

UGA/Tenn Arrest-off 2010!

2010-07-12T08:36:00.008-04:00

Nothing took the spotlight off Damon Evans like the word-play associated with the arrest of Da'Rick Rogers and his band of merry outlaws.

Not to be outdone, Dontavious Jackson and Tavarres King, recent graduates from the Damon Evans School of Decision Making, saw a golden opportunity to get UGA athletics back in the headlines.

I know many of you might look at these headlines and shake your head thinking, "What has become of our beloved Bulldogs?" But I tell you, dear friends, if this formula holds true:

(Alcohol Arrests)-(Violent Crime)/non-starters > 0 = Futball Excelsiorz!

2010 looks to be a great year for the Dawgs. I hate losing players to athletic suspensions, and you definitely want your top talent against SEC opponents, but we didn't have any off-season arrests last Summer. This year our freakin' Athletic Director got canned for getting his swerve on (double entendre).

How can you not expect great things this year?!?

Where that little snot, Derrick Dooley made his mistake was thinking that face-stomping an off-duty cop increases team talent. That's a first-year SEC coach's mistake. Veterans like Coach Richt know non-violent crimes (MIPs, DUIs, beating up hospital signage, Emerging from alleys, and other scooter-related offenses) are where it's at. Bottom line, if you can't associate The Who's, Quadrophenia album cover to the offense...it probably won't make you play better.

I think it'll be interesting to see what Dooley does with Da'Rick who essentially MADE his recruiting class. You can bet your bottom dollar he's hoping for anything that allows him to pin this all on Darren Myles (who has already been dismissed) so he has reason to suspend Rogers for the opener against Tennessee-Martin. You want your 5-star recruits to learn their lesson before Oregon comes to town in week 2...pptptttt!

Either way, lets get through the remaining 54 days and take the field September 4th with the rest of our team, back-ups included, intact. GO DAWGS!

Gator Country

2010-07-08T10:29:00.002-04:00

...there is a part of me that assumes this is just normal, everyday life down there.

Damon Evans Needs to Go

2010-07-04T07:39:00.002-04:00

...damn, Damon.

It took less than 24 hours for all Hell to break loose on your "DUI". If the DUI was your biggest problem my post below would have stood. But from police reports it sounds like the DUI is going to be the least of your worries.

I'd say Mama Bear (far left) allowing your testicles to stay attached is #1.

AND, as I write this I get an update from AJC saying you've been canned. Way to go, pal. In one night you managed to get a DUI, get busted cheating on your wife, and lose your job. I would have let the DUI slide, but you've got to be a real dirtbag to cheat on your wife, family man. That's why the official position of Blogging Pantsless has performed an about face.

Have fun celebrating your Independence, Damon. You've let more people down than you realize, and to top it you've made me look like a fool for supporting you which is the WORST of all your offenses. I wanted to eat burgers today, not crow.

Why I Support Damon Evans

2010-07-02T08:23:00.004-04:00

I'm sure since this story has broken you've read all sorts of posts with everyone's opinion regarding Damon. If you're looking at this now, you're about to get another one.

I'll preface this by saying it is incredibly stupid to drive when you are sloppy-drunk and have no business operating heavy machinery. What I won't do is crucify someone for getting a DUI who just blew a .081 because there isn't that much of a difference between a person with a B.A.C. of .079 and someone with .081. The only difference is the latter's life is screwed because our government established .08 as the legal limit and anything beyond is an offense that can be held over your head for the rest of your life.

I've never had a DUI, but I couldn't honestly tell you I haven't driven with questionable BAC levels. But I didn't have a breathalyzer to tell me, and Damon Evans didn't blow in one so we will never know if he was 3 beers or 10 beers into the evening.

I've told my wife numerous times that I would NEVER put our lives at risk and I'm man enough to tell her we need to sit at the restaurant drinking water and eating crackers for another hour if she can't take the wheel for us.

So that's where I stand on the D.U.I issue, we'll never know IF he was drunk or HOW drunk he was, but his mug-shot isn't going to do him any favors.

Which brings me to my next point...the mug-shot. The dude looks like he's about to fall over. Did the camera operator say, "Alright Damon, smile and say GO DAWGS!" and that was the best he could muster? I doubt it. Perhaps I'm going over the limit (no pun intended) of defending the guy, but if the angry, overweight woman at the DDS isn't going to give ME the heads-up to smile I'm not going to assume Damon was given a 3-2-1 countdown either.

The last point is the girl in the car. I can't help him on this one, it looks skeezy as hell to be a married man with bambinos driving around Atlanta with a 28 year old woman close to midnight. He says they're just friends, the only thing we'll know to counter that is if he told Mrs. Evans he's going out to pick up some "groceries"...and by groceries he meant Courtney Fuhrmann.

So, that's where I'm at on this. I can't see how one night of exposed personal life should wipe out 7 years of OUTSTANDING service to UGA athletics. Mark Bradley of the AJC thinks UGA should send him packing...I've thought many-a-time the AJC should send Mark Bradley packing for much lesser offenses.

It's a touchy subject, and I'm sure anyone who has been personally affected by the death of a loved one see's this through a different light. I've lost a child-hood acquaintance to a drunk-driver who blew through a stop sign after a softball game. But what "I" think of the situation doesn't matter, his fate doesn't depend on my approval. I'm glad he didn't resign, and I think if he were to be released from Georgia he'd find another school in a heartbeat because he's great at what he does. A black eye for the program that's for sure, but as someone who has been hit in the face MANY TIMES, I assure you black eyes heal.

If nothing else, we can turn this event into an a photoshop free-for-all and pretend what it would have been like if Damon had just been drinking at the fraternity houses instead.

Let me know if my stance is way outta line. I mean no harm to the program, but I think we're better WITH Damon than without him. And for those concerned about how he can possibly tell athletes not to Drink and Drive now...look at the media circus that's followed him since this story broke yesterday.

Oh, Damon.

2010-07-01T12:14:00.003-04:00

The bright-side is, neither him or the dead hookers in the trunk were attempting to text while driving.

I'll admit, it really sucks to think we might lose a great Athletic Director over this...but so goes the world of unforgivable offenses.

...never gets old.

2010-07-01T11:10:00.001-04:00

Herschel Walker Cuyler Them Dawgs Is Hell Don't They

Coach Richt: Soul Saver

2010-07-01T07:26:00.013-04:00

A little while ago, my wife and I rented Facing the Giants. If you're familiar with the movie it's a pretty basic, low-budget football movie shot by a group out of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, GA.

My cousin recommended it and said Coach Richt made a guest appearance so that was enough for me...shoot, it's only $1/day from RedBox. But the movie was alright, the acting isn't going to win any awards and there were a few continuity issues, but it is what it is.

While I have SEVERAL theological issues with the storyline, I think most people of Christian belief can agree the movie means well. But I found this supplemental material on YouTube and wanted to share something I thought was interesting.

In reading the comments posted under this video, I came across this one:

That's why he can't win the big one. Too complacent. Too concerned with saving souls than winning games.

Of course opinions are like football conferences and this guy's is the ACC, but I'm as skeptical of fundamentalists as the next guy. Though the one thing I will never question regarding Coach Richt is his sincerity. Say what you will about his priorities, but I'll take a Coach Richt who never wins "the big one" over a Lane Kiffen who might dips#*t his way into a National Championship victory over Ohio State (once USC gets off probation).

That being said, I'm assuming terms that UGA football remains competitive in SEC play. I doubt even Jesus would keep his job as head coach if the Dawgs posted a string of losing seasons. (AND I SAY THAT KNOWING THAT JESUS WOULD NOT USE HIS MIRACLE POWERS TO WIN A GAME BECAUSE DESPITE WHAT TIM TEBOW'S EYE-BLACKS TOLD YOU JESUS DOESN'T CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL) I can hear the call in shows now, "Yeah Hondo, now I think Jesus is a great guy and he's my Lord & Savior and everything...but that call to go for it on 4th and long against LSU was just bad coaching. I'll hang up and listen to ye."

If I've offended your religious beliefs, I apologize. As football fans I think even Muslims would agree that Mark Richt is a helluva coach, regardless of his infidel status. I think it's his sincerity that recruits appreciate and they strive to perform well because you don't want to let the man down. So if he's not a great actor, I can look past that...but one thing you can't look past is that he's still a better actor than Urban Meyer.

Here's to Coach Richt, a damn good Dawg if you ask me.

Ole Miss Mascot Selection

2010-06-30T08:28:00.009-04:00

Blogging Pantsless would like throw a hat into the Ole Miss Mascot Concept ring.

Say hello to Rebel, the Empty Sack! Because nothing says "Rebel" like caving into the demands of idiots.

Aside from this concept, my second favorite idea is Hotty & Toddy the "muppet-like" characters. Hopefully it'd turn out to be an odd-couple Sweetums & Pepe style muppet combo but really I just want their fightsong replaced with:

...because it really is like a kind of torture to have to watch Ole Miss football.

(Though still 100X more interesting than The World Cup.)

Garrison Hearst: Video Sync

2010-06-29T12:40:00.007-04:00

...he don't drive the same Grand Cherokee you do, playa.

Here's what you do. Turn the volume up on the top video, and the volume down on the bottom one. Move the timer of the top video to 0:25. Then proceed to hit both play buttons at the exact same time but watch the bottom video. Makes for a pretty sweet 5 second clip.

Next week we'll be syncing Pink Floyd's, Animals with Larry Munson's Greatest Calls, Vol 2.

"Journalistic" Douchebaggery

2010-06-28T14:11:00.005-04:00

According to the Orlando Sentinel's 2010 Countdown, Jeremy Fowler has UGA going 5-7*

The best comment thus far is by Macallanlover who call's Jeremy out and tells him to stick his money where his mouth is:

"...I will bet you a 5 figure amount UGA is closer to #1 than than #64 at the end of the year, and give you 2-1 odds. With those odds, that should be a no-brainer Jeremy. You have access to my email address if you would like to set this up with a 3rd party holding the money."

One thing I wouldn't put money on is Mr. Fowler actually taking this guy up on his offer. But not to be outdone, I've got the Florida Gators ranked at number 119 just above Western Kentucky (120), but below FIU (118)...so sit & spin, Fowler!

*That is assuming he thinks we're good enough to beat Division I-AA opponent Idaho State which isn't ranked in the D1 list of schools. Otherwise mark us down as a good, solid 4-8 team.

New Look

2010-06-28T09:57:00.007-04:00

Going into my 3rd year, I finally updated the layout of BloggingPantsless. I've also updated the "Know Thine Enemy" section for this year's opponents on the schedule.

Of course I couldn't find any hardcore Ragin' Cajun or 'Tater fans who have a blog dedicated to their favorite whipping boy, so those paychecks will have to wait.

Also, I might need a little help from those in the know. Being a small-time blogger I prefer to link other small-time guys in the Know Thine Enemy section, but sometimes I have to go with SB*Nation blogs.

Nothing against SB*Nation, but they don't need the clicks and us little guys get a thrill out of traffic so I try to help them out the best I can. I'm looking for blogs supporting the following teams:

-Mississippi State
-Colorado

Let me know if you guys run across any, I'd love to stick a poorly disguised attempt at humor (AKA, link name) to it and send a few clicks their way.

But let me know what you think of the new layout, I'm pretty proud of it and I think it'll last us a few more years. Or at least until the Mayan calendar or nuclear holocaust wipes everything off the face of the Earth except roaches and Williams Brice Stadium.

...both are faking dead and will get up and crawl away once you walk off.

Call It: Tonight's Match-up

2010-06-28T09:13:00.007-04:00

Tonight's Braves game might end in under 2 hours.

I'm setting the Over/Under of combined strikeouts at 17.

Call it.

A Tribute to the Stupid, Non-threatening Mascot Hat

2010-06-24T05:16:00.002-04:00

Any ideas what this style of hat is called? It's the undersized hat mascot designers of the 1940's thought made their mascot appear uber-threatening. Anyway, we at BloggingPantsless salute you, undersized-hat-wearing mascots!

TEXAS!

OREGON!

ME-YAMI!

...and don't you worry, the SEC wasn't exempt from this.

AUBARN!

LSU!

Of course the most famous illustration of our mascot, Uga, is wearing a hat as well...but it's a normal ball cap still found in places that aren't submarines.

...for which we are ALL thankful.

Just like me, the ball cap is primarily used to cover up hairline issues.

Tailgating Must-haves

2010-06-17T05:00:00.000-04:00

Oh. Hells. Yes.

Remember, Father's Day is just around the corner. I mean, this is clearly advertised for Dawgs...LOOK AT THE GUY'S PANTS!

Touchdown Jesusees

2010-06-15T08:15:00.005-04:00

According to THIS STORY about the state of Ohio's Touchdown Jesus, he's called that because:

The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way his arms were raised, as though reaching out to catch a football.

Now I always associate "Touchdown Jesus" with the mural of Jesus SIGNALING a touchdown at Notre Dame.

Perhaps I'm mistaken, and as the article states, this is the technique of which Notre Dame's receivers have been attempting "to reach out and catch a football".

Brian Kelly, your job just got a lot easier. Offensive woes, solved.

UGA Gear Review: Part Eins

2010-06-14T08:38:00.003-04:00

82 days.

That's how close it is. You can't taste it, you can't smell it, but you can buy it...and if you're like me, you start eyeballing the gear for the upcoming season right about now.

Not so much the high-end market (polos/red pants) that's more for the time period after the All-Star break ...or as I call it the official end of baseball season. Right now it's when I'm looking at the t-shirts, hats, etc...

But as I'm sure I've posted before, I have a real problem with knock-off, sub-standard UGA stuff. You know, the Wal-mart FAILjersey that AJ Green wears every Saturday in the Fall.
...it's not that I think the guy who wears it is a bad person, he clearly isn't as bad as the one who shells out $75 for the replica Gators jersey. But like anyone who shows up to a wedding in jeans, we're glad you made it, but we're all secretly judging you.

That brings me to the point of my post...THIS SHIRT.
I can admit, I don't know the entire ins-and-outs on the history of UGA logos. I know a good bit, but I can't find a single instance where the Samford Bulldog (as I call it) was considered a graphic representation. Yet even Sportslogos.net (my go-to source for school logo graphics) has it in their catalog (and in the comments section you can see a few fans disagree about it's authenticity).

I don't hate the shirt, I assume if it was a licensed product it would be semi-authentic and probably some 40's/50's era design. But as I scrape the bottom of the barrel for non-PAC-16 expansion posts I try to stick to the basics and get the fan-base thinking. Anyone else seen this before?

Coach Richt's Call for Warming

2010-06-08T13:05:00.003-04:00

Per Marc Weiszer's blog:

“I’m kind of hoping for a hot summer,” Richt said. “I’m hoping our guys get acclimated to a real hot summer. There’s been seasons when we’ve had a real mild summer and then all of a sudden that opening game or first couple of games, it’s just smoking hot. It’s hard to be ready for that unless you practice in it, so I’m hoping we get some good heat in the summer and get used to it.”

I did my best to find the clip of Drew Carey doing his stand-up routine where he complains about how cold it is up north during winter so he's standing outside emptying cans of hairspray trying to speed up global warming. Unfortunately I couldn't find it...so completely unrelated, here is George Carlin's rant on global warming instead.

I don't believe in Global Warming, but I do believe in Coach Richt. If you believe in Coach Richt AND Global Warming, here are some tips to add additional heat to Summer and getting our boys ready for the early kickoff heat!

-Paper or Plastic? BOTH! Double bag those suckers.

-Stop your trash service and burn your garbage instead.

-Pave your yard.

-Drive...to the mailbox.

-Air conditioner set at 60 with the windows open.

-Discard old paint buckets and oil cans in your local flowing water-source.

-Cut down trees and whittle them down to toothpicks. (it would help to have Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing in the background while you do so for maximum Looney Tunes effect)

World Cup VS College Football

2010-06-08T11:14:00.006-04:00

Soccer, or futbol as the fans call it, is the most popular sport in the world. That's why I think we as Americans are some of the finest members of society because we couldn't give a RATS ASS about it. The more ESPN and my hipster friends try to persuade me that "Soccer is intense" or "Just stay awake until the game is over" the less interested I become. I'm the exact same way with bands people say I would like...chances are if I've made it 27 years thinking U2 blows, you aren't going to win me over with their latest album full of Bono's self-righteous garbage.

But aside from how boring soccer is, or the fact it's totally gay that the clock winds UP instead of down, and that even when time is up they continue to play from magic time the ref pulls out of his magic time bag...I just have zero interest in even attempting to be a fan because I don't want to BE a soccer fan. Same goes for NASCAR.

A friend of mine stated that the World Cup > College Football Bowl Series.

I have no interest in getting into a playoffs debate, and the two are run differently, but I disagreed if nothing else because it's a personal preference. I contest that I would rather sit and watch Georgia Tech play DeVry in the Humanitarian Bowl than sit through the final match of World Cup Soccer.

I find it to be THAT boring.

Now, Hamp Tanner took me to task on this saying the mere Schadenfreude factor would make watching Tech entertaining...and I'll credit him that. Also, I'm well aware that the ACC is no longer associate with the Roadies Humanitarian Bowl so our little brothers from North Avenue won't have the opportunity to play in Boise, Idaho in the bitter cold of winter...but Hamp was right, it was fun to see Tech on smurf turf.
SHOWIN' TULSA WHO'S BOSS, BITCHES!

But aside from Tech's 3-8 bowl record FAIL from the last 11 years, I would venture to say I have more interest in watching the first bowl game of Bowl Season than the last World Cup match-up of Soccer Season. There, end of story.

All you soccer fans can go back to being racist, hooligans who kill each other and riot...and us college football fans will go back to civilized American life...except LSU fans, they're probably more like the soccer fans.

We'll just sit in our air conditioned non-leanto houses and enjoy soccer the best way we know how...by laughing at guys getting kicked in the nuts!

WINNERS! THE WHOLE MESSA YA!

UgA futball iz teh dOOm3d!

2010-05-17T09:18:00.010-04:00

Welcome back to the 10 o'clock hour of the Paul Finebaum Radio Network. Today we're talking about the future of Georgia Football and I gotta tell you, folks...it's not looking good.

When you look around the SEC, one thing is becoming more and more GLARINGLY OBVIOUS. Coach Nick Saban is building something at Alabama and the rest of the conference isn't keeping up. It couldn't be any more GLARINGLY OBVIOUS than when you look at the SEC East...which is in shambles. Tennessee is a wreck, Florida took a hit with the departure of Tim Tebow who has MADE that team for the last 3 years. South Carolina is looking to be the strongest of the pack, and aside from the other 2 whipping boys, you've got Georgia who couldn't be in more of a downward spiral if Russ went down with heartworms. And by the way let me throw this in, MARK MY WORDS, Russ WILL be named UGA VIII for the 2010 season.

So at Georgia, you've got 3 big issues. #1. The state of the defense is up in the air, #2. The poor recruiting class of 2010 isn't going to fare well, and #3. the fans are tired of Mark Richt's excuses.

Lets take a look at these one by one.

#1. State of the defense. So the heat behind Mark Richt finally got so hot he had to make a move and kick his long-time buddy Willie Martinez to the curb to save his own job. After getting turned down not once, not twice, not THRICE, but FOUR PLUS times by Defensive Coordinators who are now currently employed and pulling serious green...Mark Richt had to settle for some NFL defense lines coach whom nobody's ever heard of in Rod Graham.

Make no mistakes about it, the Dawg fans are trying to spin this as a huge win. "OH WE WANTED AN NFL GUY ALL ALONG" or "KIRBY SMART WASN'T EVEN ANYONE WE WERE LOOKING AT" these blind fans are beating their chest over this guy and in reality they're scared to death. Nobody knows a thing about him, and all their hopes and dreams are resting on this guy turning their team around. It's GLARING OBVIOUS the Georgia Bulldogs are in for a rude awakening when 2010 wraps up and they're sitting at 8-5 again...no, I tell you what, MARK MY WORDS they'll be LUCKY to get to 7-6.

#2. Lets take a look at how shoddy the state of recruiting has turned at Georgia. 2010 had kids JUMPING SHIP because they saw it was going down quick. DaRick Rogers was smart enough to see it coming and headed to Tennessee to a team that's starting to look pretty solid with that Quarterback kid who would have been second string, but we'll hit on the VOLs another day. The Dawg fans are HOWLING about who's going to even want to step foot in Athens much less sign up to play ball.

It's GLARINGLY OBVIOUS the fanbase is writing off the latest class as a fluke down year, but the storm is coming Dawg fans, MARK MY WORDS. You're about to hear them bragging about the 2011 class, they'll start throwing around "WE GOT A VERBAL FROM THE SPORTING NEWS' #1 QB PROSPECT" or "THE FASTEST KID IN THE STATE JUST COMMITTED"...but if you see either of Christian LeMay or Justin Scott-Wesley wearing a "G" on their helmet I'll eat my crow. And lets not forget about this Sterling Bailey character either, these 3 huge commitments, with a total of nearly 50 offers between them, will have the Dawg fans barking loudly...but its only May, it took them nearly THREE WHOLE WEEKS this month to get verbals outta these guys. Lets see if they decide to stick around.

That brings me to our last point. #3, and MARK MY WORDS, I'm going on record here...Mark Richt will be looking for work in January of 2011. Trust me, I know how fickle the Georgia fanbase is. They are tired of the down seasons. Yes, this was the first one they've had in a while but they aren't going to put up with another one over in Athens this year. And it's unfortunate, I've met Mark Richt many times, he's a great guy, a good person spiritually, but the fans don't want a good person, they want to beat Florida...like Alabama does.

It's gotten so poisonous over in Athens, I've read on many message boards they're starting to burn effigies of the guy. Rumor has it, if Les Miles turns down the Michigan job he'll be heading East because he can beat Florida and he's tired of losing to Alabama in the West. MARK MY WORDS, its GLARINGLY OBVIOUS, the fans are sick of him and don't even turn out for his excuse making news conferences anymore...

So best of luck Bulldogs, and you know I mean it with the most heartfelt sincerity. I want you to do well, and I want the ship to get turned around, but the Dawg Nation is headed for a world of hurt. There are many rumblings out there that if the SEC proves too tough for the Dawgs, they might petition to join the ACC in an effort to get some wins and not have to play Alabama because they wouldn't be able to beat the Crimson Tide EVER in a million years. But after the beating they took in 2008 at the hand of their instate ACC rivals I doubt that'd be the answer...but I don't make the news, I only report it like I see it.

We're gonna pause for a break on the Paul Finebaum Radio Network, stick around after a word from our sponsor...Golden Flake Potato Chips!

DJ Mettenberger

2010-05-14T08:56:00.005-04:00

This post couldn't be any less about football. In fact the content is the WORST ENEMY of College Football.

But it's Friday and I wanted to share the funniest video you'll see all day.
WARNING: Phil Collins in use!

Zach Mettenberger, Wedding DJ for hire. (h/t allydawg)

Hey Ole Miss...DON'T BLOW IT!

2010-05-14T08:02:00.005-04:00

It was the Fall of 2005. I had just graduated from college and was working at Hartsfield. I met numerous Boise State fans flying into town the week before college football started. They were flying in to take on our Georgia Bulldogs and we were nervous as hell.

Like Southern Miss decades ago, Boise State had a Giant Killer reputation...and it didn't help UGA was starting a Senior QB who had only seen playing time when David Greene was resting.

But I will always remember the day we learned DJ Shockley was the real deal, and it came by making Boise State's defense look foolish.
(the defense wasn't too bad lookin' either)

All-time Boise State is 0-4 against the SEC, and perhaps it's that unique conference pride we have, but I hope Ole Miss has their act together when they open the season against the Broncos in 2011.

I harbor no ill-will against the Broncos, but I'm not a fan. I didn't buy into Hawaii 2007, and I don't buy into Boise State in 2010. Preseason #2? Give me a break.

Blatant homerism aside, I'm not sure this is UGA's year to win the East (South Carolina fans are telling me it's FINALLY their year...pptptpttttt). But I do think of all the SEC teams there are maybe 4-or-5 who could knock off the Broncos. Of course to counter myself, the SEC hasn't faced the Blue Turf Horsies without Dan Hawkins behind the wheel.

On that note Chris Petersen is a helluva coach, and he's done wonders to recruit kids to play in BOISE, IDAHO. But I stand behind my POV that if Boise State were in a solid conference (PAC-10, maybe? "solid conference" used loosely) they'd be middle of the pack with the occasional upset win over USC, Stanford, Oregon or whichever team is supposed to be good that year.

I can admit I don't know enough about Ole Miss, nor do I care enough to research and find out what year Jevan Snead is. But I hope Colonel Reb, Admiral Ackbar, or Captain Giggity fields a team competent enough to not lose their opener against these guys. Pride on the line, fellas...don't blow it.

UPDATE: Apparently Boise State's coach in 2000 was Dirk Koetter when they lost to Arkansas...Hawkins was still an assistant. My bad.

Auburn has Bieber Fever

2010-05-14T07:20:00.003-04:00

Because you hate Auburn and because this is an actual video...

Please participate in Everyday Should Be Saturday's call to arms.

Charles Barkley, Auburn Fan

2010-05-12T07:04:00.004-04:00

When I think of Charles Barkley, I think of 2 things.

"Fat" and "gambler".

If I were to throw in a 3rd, it'd be "bad golf swing". Make it a 4th and I might associate him with playing basketball or something.

But it takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. Barkley's bad golf swing might not be pretty to look at, but any Auburn grad will gladly cheer him on when he achieves these types of results (see 0:32 second mark).

Keith Hernandez...I DESPISE KEITH HERNANDEZ.

2010-05-11T12:41:00.004-04:00

Completely unrelated to anything, I read this story on Yahoo Sports today...and all I could think about is...NICE GAME PRETTY BOY!

So upon rewatching this scene, I'd completely forgotten Braves Pitching Coach Roger McDowell was responsible for spitting on Kramer and Newman...I wonder if anyone ever brings that up to him anymore?

Roger Waters: The Wall Tour

2010-05-11T07:30:00.006-04:00

I'm a HUGE Pink Floyd fan. I've been a fan ever since I was in middle school and played little league baseball. How am I able to trace it back to little league baseball? My wife LOVES this story...

One day at baseball practice, I notice one of my teammates mom (whom I thought was HAWT) was wearing a Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt...yep...my love for Pink Floyd started because I bought an album based on the fact my friend's hot mom was wearing their shirt. But that's the shallow side of the story, once I bought the CD I listened all the way through and recognized 4 songs I'd heard from Z93's rotation (R.I.P. Z93) but didn't know the band.
Hey DaveFM, BITE ME.

That record had a listenability that was unique...you didn't put it on to listen to one individual song, you wanted to listen to the whole album start>finish. That was my first brush with concept albums and I was hooked. Pink Floyd immediately became MY band and I've been a huge fan ever since...well...ever since I found out how crappy their last 2 albums were.

How in the world could this incredible band who changed the way I listen to music produce such a poor product?!? The answer lies in the voice that is noticeably missing from those last 2 albums. Roger Waters had left the band.

For those who don't know much about Pink Floyd (or their following) this is a point of contention among the fanbase. Ford fans and Chevy fans, Georgia fans and Tech fans, Coke fans and Pepsi fans, Roger Waters fans and David Gilmour fans. The band split in the mid-80's because Roger Waters left due to the rest of the band not contributing anything worthwhile to the records...can you tell which side I took?

But I've bought all of Roger Waters' solo albums and seen him the last 2 times he came to Atlanta (1999 and 2006) on tour. To me Roger Waters is the voice and creative genius of Pink Floyd's greatest work, and he's on tour again this year.

November 18th at Philips Arena, you can catch what might be the last great rock & roll theatrical experience. He's touring The Wall which is available as an album, a film, or a live performance.

If you are a fan of classic rock, and you haven't experienced this, I strongly urge you to shell out and buy The Wall. You'll be a better person for it and chances are you'll be interested in catching the show in November after a few listens.

You can learn more about the tour at www.rogerwaters.com and if you're looking for show tickets, check out Lava Tickets if you want great seats. Now that I'm gainfully employed and can afford it, I'm flying down to Tampa for the show and THEN coming back up to Atlanta where I've landed 10th row floor seats.

I know the musicians look tacky in this...but it was 1990, I'm pretty sure they've dropped the leather pants and mullets 20 years later.

The Great Tech Conspiracy

2010-05-06T09:45:00.003-04:00

I'm not gonna lie, I got a HUGE kick out of the Senator's commentary on the cancellation of the Tech/Bama series.
The first post was the best with this little gem from Sting Talk:

My friends in Tuscaloosa say Saban admitted that Bama wimped out. He said when they scheduled us they thought they’d face a Chan Gailey-caliber team, but now they don’t think they could handle us on top of their SEC schedule. They’re going to postpone the series until after Groh is too old to possibly coach our defense.

I don't know which is funnier, the fact Tech assumes another team would "wimp out" against an ACC opponent, or the attempt at passing a lie that Tech fans actually have friends.

But as stated, once the black helicopter's stopped circling and Tech's AD, Rad Dan Rad, stated the series was postponed in order to balance THEIR schedule...the lolz commenced 3-fold at our nerdly in-state rivals.
But never fear Tech fans, you are still feared...not in football, but in Kennesaw, Georgia where they fear your LARPing will interfere with their Civil War reenactments.

...AND WE'RE BAAAAACK!!1

2010-05-06T09:00:00.003-04:00

So I've been out for a while. I've gone on vacation, survived some nasty malware on my laptop, and worked my tail off in the past 3 weeks. But it couldn't have come at a better time because it's football off-season and with the exception of the occassional food challenge post (see KFC DoubleDown) that's my blog's primary focus.

Just because it's off season doesn't mean there isn't news going on. We, as SEC football fans, are very similar to East Cobb housewives. They don't have REAL stress because they aren't working...so instead they take the next biggest deal and blow it out of proportion just so they have a steady dose of drama in their life. (That would explain why they get hysterical about not having the snacks together for Junior's little league team...and nobody cares)

So Mettenberger tried his hand at the ladies (rimshot) and Logan Gray is 50/50 about sticking around to fair-catch punts. Does that leave us thin at QB? Yes, but the realist in me isn't expecting a cinderella season this year anyway. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect better than 8-5, but if I'm not mistaken (which I very well may be) Alabama lost to UL-Monroe after installing the 3-4...but look at 'em now (also I'm well-aware this was the first year after a coaching change so don't rip me to pieces on this).
"You will NOT bring that up again."

I still believe we've got the players and the personnel to compete for the East, but of all the stuff to fret about, the fact that football season is still 4 months away is more scary to me. The annual relinquishing of sanity will commence as usual following the MLB All-Star Game in July.

A Brush With Obesity

2010-04-12T20:16:00.009-04:00

So today I had this "great" idea.

Monday, April 12th marked the official unveiling of the KFC dream sandwich, The Double Down. Also, I've lived in the Marietta area most of my life and not once have I ever actually eaten at The Big Chicken (Its been one of those places I drive by but never actually stop...in Auburn, AL they call this "church"). The stars aligned and it only made sense to kill two birds with one stone.

Follow me as I take you on a trip down dietary Hell.

There she is, rising like a Phoenix from the Arizona.

Hmmm...I should probably go ahead and tell you I can count my total trips to KFC in the last decade on Lance Armstrong's testicles.

I am officially the proud owner of 1 KFC Double Down "sandwich".

So here it is. A bacon & cheese sandwich held together by 2 fried chicken "buns".

...NOM

...NOM NOM

...NOM NOM NOM

FINAL VERDICT:
Patton Oswalt once referred to KFC's Famous Bowl's as "Failure Bowls". I will hereby refer to this beast as a Failure Sandwich. Why? Because I feel like Hell right now. The damned thing was salty, heavy, and 100% vegetable free...unless the USDA convinced you that condiments are a vegetable, then you got your daily serving of Colonel's Sauce. Seriously would it have killed you to put a tomato or a pickle on this thing?!?

I'm not a health-nut by any stretch of the imagination. I can't eat my wife's Kashi cereal without wanting to empty the hole-punch into the bowl to give it some taste. But if you find yourself able to eat one of these on a regular basis, chances are you either have a Dale Earnhardt tattoo or are wearing an over-sized Tweetie Bird t-shirt. Diabetes are in your not-too-distant future and your long hair compliments your red neck.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go fix myself a Lipitor and Maker's Mark...then call it a night.