Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Ole Miss Mascot Selection

Blogging Pantsless would like throw a hat into the Ole Miss Mascot Concept ring.

Say hello to Rebel, the Empty Sack! Because nothing says "Rebel" like caving into the demands of idiots.

Aside from this concept, my second favorite idea is Hotty & Toddy the "muppet-like" characters. Hopefully it'd turn out to be an odd-couple Sweetums & Pepe style muppet combo but really I just want their fightsong replaced with:

...because it really is like a kind of torture to have to watch Ole Miss football.

(Though still 100X more interesting than The World Cup.)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Garrison Hearst: Video Sync

...he don't drive the same Grand Cherokee you do, playa.

Here's what you do. Turn the volume up on the top video, and the volume down on the bottom one. Move the timer of the top video to 0:25. Then proceed to hit both play buttons at the exact same time but watch the bottom video. Makes for a pretty sweet 5 second clip.

Next week we'll be syncing Pink Floyd's, Animals with Larry Munson's Greatest Calls, Vol 2.

Monday, June 28, 2010

"Journalistic" Douchebaggery

According to the Orlando Sentinel's 2010 Countdown, Jeremy Fowler has UGA going 5-7*

The best comment thus far is by Macallanlover who call's Jeremy out and tells him to stick his money where his mouth is:

"...I will bet you a 5 figure amount UGA is closer to #1 than than #64 at the end of the year, and give you 2-1 odds. With those odds, that should be a no-brainer Jeremy. You have access to my email address if you would like to set this up with a 3rd party holding the money."

One thing I wouldn't put money on is Mr. Fowler actually taking this guy up on his offer. But not to be outdone, I've got the Florida Gators ranked at number 119 just above Western Kentucky (120), but below FIU (118) sit & spin, Fowler!

*That is assuming he thinks we're good enough to beat Division I-AA opponent Idaho State which isn't ranked in the D1 list of schools. Otherwise mark us down as a good, solid 4-8 team.

New Look

Going into my 3rd year, I finally updated the layout of BloggingPantsless. I've also updated the "Know Thine Enemy" section for this year's opponents on the schedule.

Of course I couldn't find any hardcore Ragin' Cajun or 'Tater fans who have a blog dedicated to their favorite whipping boy, so those paychecks will have to wait.

Also, I might need a little help from those in the know. Being a small-time blogger I prefer to link other small-time guys in the Know Thine Enemy section, but sometimes I have to go with SB*Nation blogs.

Nothing against SB*Nation, but they don't need the clicks and us little guys get a thrill out of traffic so I try to help them out the best I can. I'm looking for blogs supporting the following teams:

-Mississippi State

Let me know if you guys run across any, I'd love to stick a poorly disguised attempt at humor (AKA, link name) to it and send a few clicks their way.

But let me know what you think of the new layout, I'm pretty proud of it and I think it'll last us a few more years. Or at least until the Mayan calendar or nuclear holocaust wipes everything off the face of the Earth except roaches and Williams Brice Stadium.

...both are faking dead and will get up and crawl away once you walk off.

Call It: Tonight's Match-up

Tonight's Braves game might end in under 2 hours.

I'm setting the Over/Under of combined strikeouts at 17.

Call it.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Tribute to the Stupid, Non-threatening Mascot Hat

Any ideas what this style of hat is called? It's the undersized hat mascot designers of the 1940's thought made their mascot appear uber-threatening. Anyway, we at BloggingPantsless salute you, undersized-hat-wearing mascots!




...and don't you worry, the SEC wasn't exempt from this.



Of course the most famous illustration of our mascot, Uga, is wearing a hat as well...but it's a normal ball cap still found in places that aren't submarines.

...for which we are ALL thankful.

Just like me, the ball cap is primarily used to cover up hairline issues.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Tailgating Must-haves

Oh. Hells. Yes.

Remember, Father's Day is just around the corner. I mean, this is clearly advertised for Dawgs...LOOK AT THE GUY'S PANTS!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Touchdown Jesusees

According to THIS STORY about the state of Ohio's Touchdown Jesus, he's called that because:

The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way his arms were raised, as though reaching out to catch a football.

Now I always associate "Touchdown Jesus" with the mural of Jesus SIGNALING a touchdown at Notre Dame.

Perhaps I'm mistaken, and as the article states, this is the technique of which Notre Dame's receivers have been attempting "to reach out and catch a football".

Brian Kelly, your job just got a lot easier. Offensive woes, solved.

Monday, June 14, 2010

UGA Gear Review: Part Eins

82 days.

That's how close it is. You can't taste it, you can't smell it, but you can buy it...and if you're like me, you start eyeballing the gear for the upcoming season right about now.

Not so much the high-end market (polos/red pants) that's more for the time period after the All-Star break ...or as I call it the official end of baseball season. Right now it's when I'm looking at the t-shirts, hats, etc...

But as I'm sure I've posted before, I have a real problem with knock-off, sub-standard UGA stuff. You know, the Wal-mart FAILjersey that AJ Green wears every Saturday in the Fall.'s not that I think the guy who wears it is a bad person, he clearly isn't as bad as the one who shells out $75 for the replica Gators jersey. But like anyone who shows up to a wedding in jeans, we're glad you made it, but we're all secretly judging you.

That brings me to the point of my post...THIS SHIRT.
I can admit, I don't know the entire ins-and-outs on the history of UGA logos. I know a good bit, but I can't find a single instance where the Samford Bulldog (as I call it) was considered a graphic representation. Yet even (my go-to source for school logo graphics) has it in their catalog (and in the comments section you can see a few fans disagree about it's authenticity).

I don't hate the shirt, I assume if it was a licensed product it would be semi-authentic and probably some 40's/50's era design. But as I scrape the bottom of the barrel for non-PAC-16 expansion posts I try to stick to the basics and get the fan-base thinking. Anyone else seen this before?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Coach Richt's Call for Warming

Per Marc Weiszer's blog:

“I’m kind of hoping for a hot summer,” Richt said. “I’m hoping our guys get acclimated to a real hot summer. There’s been seasons when we’ve had a real mild summer and then all of a sudden that opening game or first couple of games, it’s just smoking hot. It’s hard to be ready for that unless you practice in it, so I’m hoping we get some good heat in the summer and get used to it.”

I did my best to find the clip of Drew Carey doing his stand-up routine where he complains about how cold it is up north during winter so he's standing outside emptying cans of hairspray trying to speed up global warming. Unfortunately I couldn't find completely unrelated, here is George Carlin's rant on global warming instead.

I don't believe in Global Warming, but I do believe in Coach Richt. If you believe in Coach Richt AND Global Warming, here are some tips to add additional heat to Summer and getting our boys ready for the early kickoff heat!

-Paper or Plastic? BOTH! Double bag those suckers.

-Stop your trash service and burn your garbage instead.

-Pave your yard. the mailbox.

-Air conditioner set at 60 with the windows open.

-Discard old paint buckets and oil cans in your local flowing water-source.

-Cut down trees and whittle them down to toothpicks. (it would help to have Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing in the background while you do so for maximum Looney Tunes effect)

World Cup VS College Football

Soccer, or futbol as the fans call it, is the most popular sport in the world. That's why I think we as Americans are some of the finest members of society because we couldn't give a RATS ASS about it. The more ESPN and my hipster friends try to persuade me that "Soccer is intense" or "Just stay awake until the game is over" the less interested I become. I'm the exact same way with bands people say I would like...chances are if I've made it 27 years thinking U2 blows, you aren't going to win me over with their latest album full of Bono's self-righteous garbage.

But aside from how boring soccer is, or the fact it's totally gay that the clock winds UP instead of down, and that even when time is up they continue to play from magic time the ref pulls out of his magic time bag...I just have zero interest in even attempting to be a fan because I don't want to BE a soccer fan. Same goes for NASCAR.

A friend of mine stated that the World Cup > College Football Bowl Series.

I have no interest in getting into a playoffs debate, and the two are run differently, but I disagreed if nothing else because it's a personal preference. I contest that I would rather sit and watch Georgia Tech play DeVry in the Humanitarian Bowl than sit through the final match of World Cup Soccer.

I find it to be THAT boring.

Now, Hamp Tanner took me to task on this saying the mere Schadenfreude factor would make watching Tech entertaining...and I'll credit him that. Also, I'm well aware that the ACC is no longer associate with the Roadies Humanitarian Bowl so our little brothers from North Avenue won't have the opportunity to play in Boise, Idaho in the bitter cold of winter...but Hamp was right, it was fun to see Tech on smurf turf.

But aside from Tech's 3-8 bowl record FAIL from the last 11 years, I would venture to say I have more interest in watching the first bowl game of Bowl Season than the last World Cup match-up of Soccer Season. There, end of story.

All you soccer fans can go back to being racist, hooligans who kill each other and riot...and us college football fans will go back to civilized American life...except LSU fans, they're probably more like the soccer fans.

We'll just sit in our air conditioned non-leanto houses and enjoy soccer the best way we know laughing at guys getting kicked in the nuts!